ZaneI slept like shit most of the night, tossing and turning as nightmares haunted me as if I was experiencing them all over again."Come on, Zane." She giggled. "What's the big deal? Touch me.""I'm busy." I yawned and snagged my AP Psych book in an attempt to put some distance between me and Cassie, just another girl in a blur of girls whose only goal in life was to get me to jump between her thighs.But I didn't have time for that life.I ran the entire way to the house I'd been living in for the past three months. Rejection heated my face as I ducked and tried to run up the stairs."Zane!" Mrs. Angel shouted my name with glee. "I've been waiting for you."Great.When wasn't she waiting for me?"Come have a snack!""I ate."Silence and then. "I provide a roof over your head, the least you can do is try my chocolate chip cookies. I made them just for you."Yeah, I bet she did.I avoided eye contact as I hurriedly jogged into the kitchen and tried to swipe a cookie o
Fallon"So, Canon Beach hmm?" Mom's eyes penetrated through to my guilty little soul. Because for the past few days, I'd convinced both parents that Zane's visits meant nothing.Right. Dinner with my parents five nights in a row.Nothing.Coffee with my mom because he just happened to be hanging out in the neighborhood and noticed she was out of creamer?Nothing.Nothing at all."Yup." I blew out an exasperated breath. She was still staring at me, her eyes boring into my body like she was trying to create little holes through my skin. Finally, I turned around. "Just say it.""What?" She couldn't lie to save her life."Whatever it is you have to say." I checked my phone. "He's picking me up in five minutes.""He's been over a lot." Her casual tone wasn't fooling me, not one bit. "Are you sure this is still a friendship?""Of course." I rolled my eyes. "Mom, he's a rockstar.""That rockstar offered to go hunting with your dad.""He was cornered!" I threw my hands into the
FallonWaves crashed into the rocky shore. Seagulls screeched in the distance.I stared."Are you going to pass out or something?" Zane whispered, "Because my other confession is I don't know CPR well enough to save you from the birds before they start feeding off your cute little body."I gasped and then stumbled backwards with a horrified expression. "I'm the most horrible person on this planet.""Fallon-""I am." Tears clogged in my throat. "I just assumed, like everyone else, and you let me, but I mean what were you supposed to do and-" My head pounded, and I struggled for breath. "I've been basically accusing you of being a complete slut to your face for the past three weeks."He winced. "Right, but in your defense, you didn't know.""No!" I stood and started pacing. "Don't take it easy on me. I've always taken pride in being one of those people, the kind that don't judge, that just accept people as they are, but I'm a complete hypocrite!""Stop pacing, the sand ants mi
ZaneI was kissing her again.It was becoming a thing, just like casual hand holding, or touching her, my lips had this insane mad desire to taste hers - and I watched myself, the self-control, the insecurity of people using me for their own selfish reasons, slowly slip away with each piece of myself I gave - each piece she took.Because that's what kissing was.Personal.Intimate.A very real way to share your feelings about someone without actually saying them - I was a wordsmith, it was my job to make people believe with my words that I was in love with them, that I was in love with love.But my lips?They had always been mine.My virginity, mine.They couldn't take it - because I refused to give it.Nobody should ever feel like they have to give pieces of themselves in order to gain love, security, acceptance, I knew that better than anyone did - because I'd had to grow up without all of the above.Until finally, I was given it right along with fame.But like so many
Fallon"Are you sick?" Mags leaned forward and pressed her palm to my forehead. "Hmm, you feel warm."I shoved her hand away. "You don't even know what you're doing."She held up her hands and then reached for her coffee, chewing on the lid like it was a straw. "You know, you've been on edge for the past week."One week.ONE full week of no Zane.No texts.Nothing.And in my gut, I knew it was partially my fault. I'd walked away, he'd shared a part of himself with me, a part that nobody knew, and I'd walked away. Because he scared me, his intensity scared me, he was a forever guy, now more than ever. I shuddered, rubbing my hands up and down my arms."You were happy," Mags pointed out. "Until your little excursion with our fun little popstar on the beach."I jerked my head up. "How did you even know about that?"She rolled her eyes. "You really need to subscribe to more gossip magazines or at least pay attention when you check out at the grocery store." She held up her fin
ZaneI took a break from her, not because I was still angry or even upset, but because suddenly the music wouldn't stop coming. I turned to music, as I always did, only this time, it wasn't my savior.It was my sanity.The more I sang, the more grounded I felt.The more grounded I felt, the more I thought about things from her perspective.And I felt like a dick.Because what did I expect? To sweep her off her feet and tell her that despite what millions of people around the world said about me - it wasn't true.I wanted her.Yet, look at any Google search of my name.And I was at the Grammys with supermodels.Supermodels who thought a full meal was an ounce of almonds and a bite of cheese.I was asking a lot for someone who was normal. And after Alec sat me down and basically told me I was inhuman after all the songs I managed to record, I realized, maybe, I wasn't as normal as I'd like to think I was.And then when Will said the last song I dropped today was the best tr
FallonMy eyes filled with tears.Four weeks.It took four weeks for Zane Andrews to own me.Then again, he'd had me with the first marshmallow, with the first arrogant smirk as he walked around the house completely naked, except for a weird scarf that wrapped around his neck.God help me, I might not even make it to week five without asking if I could carry his firstborn.At nineteen.Was it obsession? Or something more.Something deeper.He stood and held out his hand.I took it.I realized then, I would always take it, wouldn't I?He kicked sand onto the fire, grabbed the rest of the marshmallows, and kissed me on the forehead as we walked in silence down the boardwalk.My heart thumped against my chest in hammer-like fashion, only to pick up the minute Zane held open the door to The Seaside Resort.Where I worked.He didn't go to the front desk.Then again, you had to be an actual member to stay at the Resort, so I was more than a little confused as we made our wa
ZanePlease, God, don't let me be wrong about her, about what I felt, what I saw when I looked into her trusting eyes.I wanted her physically.I craved her emotionally.To be able to stay in a hotel room by myself - had been like defeating a giant. She had no way of knowing that, but what do you say to the person who, inch by inch, holds your hand while you tell them about the invisible monsters, the type that, to anyone else, make no sense at all, but to you, are crippling?I knew there was no going back.From this scene, her gorgeous naked little body. She was at least a foot shorter than me, curvy in all the places that made a guy want to stop and take notice, her ass round.Her color was bright as she visibly swallowed and then licked her lips. "Zane, you can trust me.""Okay." My voice shook, and like peeling off layers and layers of clothing as winter turns into summer, I felt myself internally shed every single wall I'd ever put up when it came to sex - to sharing tha
Will"I can't hear you, Chicago!" Zane yelled. "I said are you ready for some Adrenaline?"The roar was deafening.We'd sold out across the US and had to move to larger arenas, it was unreal.And I'd missed it so damn much that I was having a hard time wiping the grin from my face, though part of that could be because of Ang.She agreed to sing on some of our newer tracks.And I'd coerced her by way of sex into performing a few of them with us.It was what people wanted, especially after seeing the music video from the film, and even more so, after seeing the opening scene, the raw emotion in her eyes.And knowing our story.The whole story.The whole damn thing.Word for word. Written out in our new album, for the world to see.Andrew wrote half.I wrote half.And then we traded, added things to each other's riffs, made sure the lyrics worked, and then very amicably went into the studio to record with the rest of the group.It was intense.We still barely spoke any w
AngelicaIt was midnight by the time we made it back home. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and just... exist.And then Will started taking my clothes off, and I forgot all about existing on my own, and began to think about licking my way down his body instead, or up, I wasn't picky."Mmm." I groaned when his lips slid down my neck. "That feels nice.""You feel nice," he murmured stealing another kiss. "I love you.""Say it again.""I love you."I couldn't help the sleepy smile that spread across my face at his words. Or the desire to press my palm against his chest. And when he gripped my fingers like a lifeline, unbridled passion flickered across his handsome features as the lean muscles of his stomach seemed to ripple in the moonlight. I couldn't resist the feeling of power it gave me to know... that expression was for me.He leaned down and mapped my body with his tongue, I whined when he stopped and lifted his gaze to mine, a wicked smile teased his lips."More," I
WillBy the time we made it back to set most of the chaos had died down. Andrew was back, but he was still lurking in the corner, his eyes downcast but not as lost as when he'd first gotten to Seaside.Alec and Demetri had started a bonfire down by the ocean.All of us just followed, like we knew the fire was for us, like we were in need of the calm the heat would bring.Even Andrew eventually ventured over after Jay said something.Demetri had his ever-present guitar.Alec had his.And then Zane said something like, "Oh, look what I have here.""Any other instruments we should know about?" I said casually."Don't!" Demetri waved his hands in the air. "Don't give him the perfect set up to take off his pants, not when he's finally wearing them."Zane just shrugged.I leaned back into the sand and closed my eyes for a few seconds.Everything fell silent.So I opened one eye and then another.A guitar was being held over my head."Are you going to hit me with it?" I asked
WillThe Andrew I knew was gone.His eyes were cold.Lifeless.He finally slapped Ang's hand like a high five rather than a shake and continued to glare at me."I was scared," I finally said. "Jealous and scared."Surprise flickered across his face."I'd sent her into your arms knowing you'd take care of her while I was gone while hating the bad influence you were on each other. You had this connection I didn't understand, this... thing that gripped both of you like a vise. I didn't get it, I hated it, hated you for bringing her into it almost as much as I hated that I couldn't stop it." All things I'd told Ang without reservation. "And I'd been gone so much, it made sense, she chose drugs over me, why not eventually choose my best friend? The one who was there when I wasn't?"Andrew looked away.Ang reached for my hand and squeezed."The thing is..." I dug my heels into the sand and looked out at the horizon. "You're right, I blamed everyone but me. Hated everyone for my o
AngelicaAndrew was a runner.I could tell by his stride, the easy way he inhaled through his nose, out his mouth. While I thought I was going to pass out from shortness of breath."Andrew!" I yelled.The ocean swallowed my voice.Finally, he stopped and turned.I kept running; he was a good hundred feet in front of me.And when I finally caught up, I couldn't catch my breath, my tears were mixed with sand by then, and my lungs burned."I'm disappointed." He rasped, "You still don't exercise. Isn't that part of the steps in rehab? Find a healthy..." He made mock quotes. "Outlet.""I bite," I sucked in a gulp of air, "My fingernails and," I put my hands on my knees and tried breathing in through my nose, out through my mouth. "I color.""Color." he repeated, "With crayons? Markers? Colored pencils? Watercolors-""Crayons." I blurted then collapsed onto the sand.Slowly, he lowered his massive body next to mine.We were a few feet apart.Both of us staring at the ocean.
WillI'd passed out once in my life.Dehydration.So I didn't realize what was happening when Zane was snapping his fingers in front of my face and asking how old I was."He can't count that high," Demetri muttered."So many candles." Ty shuddered.I shoved them away and moved to a sitting position then held my head in my hands rubbing my temples. "What happened?"Nobody spoke.I sucked in a breath as the events crashed over me, jarring my memory to a painful degree.That night.That. Night.I chose never to think about it.Hated giving it power.But in that moment.I did.I thought about it - really thought about it.The fight with Ang before the concert.The fight with Andrew after.Drinking just enough to be angry at the world that things weren't going my way - that my best friend wouldn't listen to me about drugs, that he'd hurt the woman I loved, and that the woman I loved was choosing drugs over me.The groupie was pretty.And it was easy.So easy to wonder
AngelicaI heard the yelling.Demetri grabbed my arm while Alec shielded me.It looked like Andrew and Will were going head-to-head.I rolled my eyes. "I got this, guys, it was bound to happen.""Yup." Zane said from behind me, "Should have just killed him.""Hey, I was ready," Alec agreed as we all slowly jogged over to the chaotic scene where Ty was trying to hold Will back.But something about the scene was.Wrong.Rather than looking pissed - Will looked.Worried.Andrew looked ready to rip Will's throat from his body.And then I heard it.The words."...it's not that I didn't care, it's because I knew exactly whose baby it was... yours"I stutter-stepped.Demetri caught my arm.I shook my head over and over again while pieces of my memory fused.I refused to think about that time in my life especially after rehab, especially after moving on.Healing."Think about it!" Andrew kept raising his voice higher, higher. "I had just gotten back to my room, you were o
WillThings were going too good.And when things went good.I panicked.As an agent, it usually meant that you were minutes from a phone call about a publicity stunt gone wrong, or an actor taking a bender, or one of your musicians trashing a hotel room.Ticket sales being down.Labels dropping musicians.Every single time I had this feeling.Something happened.It was the same feeling that woke me up that night and made me go search for Angelica. The place in my bed, the space she belonged in was empty. And I'd missed her even as dread washed over me.The same dread that followed well into the night when she was in my arms, when we rode together to set.When we shot the cameo scene with the rest of the band.And had to keep redoing it because Trevor couldn't keep a straight face half the time, and Andrew kept snorting like he was too big of a deal to do anything.Besides that, fans had caught wind of what was happening, and we had groupies lining the outside of the set.
AngelicaI didn't want him to get to me.But he did.The way he leered at me like I was naked.Even with Will standing right there.And all the shame, all the mistakes, all the touches he'd given me, things he'd whispered in my ear, the so-called brushes of his hand, kisses to my neck.My stomach lurched.It took everything in me to walk past him.To smell that same cologne floating off his skin.And all the things that came with it.Drugs.Partying.Waking up in his hotel sheets that night, knowing that I only had myself to blame, and that I may as well embrace that side of me since Will was gone, since he wasn't coming back.The trailer door jerked open.He took one look at me, scooped me up into his arms, and held me on the couch, playing with my hair while his kisses dried up my tears.His lips moved across my cheeks, my chin, his mouth was so warm, comforting, sexy, I turned into him, inhaling his shirt while he rested his chin against my head."Thank you." I pre