FallonI regretted giving him my number almost immediately. Apparently, Dominos was getting angry that he kept calling them and asking them to approve of lyrics.So finally, three days after we started our weird partnership.Three days after the purposeful kiss.We were back to being whatever we were to begin with, the awkward girl and the pop star.We spent afternoons together walking on the beach, going to the aquarium, and eating.Zane loved eating.But he refused to eat anything without first savoring a few marshmallows, and when I asked him about it, he got so defensive I dropped the subject for fear he was going to be the celebrity that threw his drink in my face and stalked off.Mags still begged for information.But I was a vault.That, and I didn't really know what to tell her.It was kind of... not embarrassing? I don't know what it was, I couldn't really put my finger on it. Maybe it was my pride, because explaining to her that he was paying me to be like a paid
ZaneIt was getting harder.Everything was getting harder.And I really meant everything.Mentally.And physically.Ignoring the fact that every time I saw her, I felt my chest flutter like a damn girl - I looked forward to seeing her.That was bad news.She was bad news.I was leaving, no chance in hell did I want to stay in Seaside for longer than I had to. Besides, it wasn't like she was staying local anyway.We made it to the beach in record time. I was so lost in my thoughts that I nearly collided with a rock and just barely missed it by jumping down the rest of the way onto the sand."Easy ninja, you don't want to break a leg before you start touring again," Fallon said in a teasing tone.God, I really needed her to stop talking right now.Or, just. Ever.I stayed away from girls for a reason - sure I was photographed numerous times with girls hanging all over me, and yeah I'd kissed hundreds of them, but they were never fans, they were never normal, they were act
FallonFriends. I think I hated that word. Maybe he did too? I couldn't read him, and I'd always thought I was good at that, reading people, observing, watching. He tensed at the strangest moments, hunched his shoulders in crowds as if he was afraid someone was going to shank him, and he was more comfortable naked than with clothes on.Four days in, and I wasn't any closer to figuring out Zane Andrews, if anything, he was getting more and more complicated, like a maze that twisted every time you thought you had the way out decided."I need food." Zane said a few minutes later, we'd been sitting on the beach holding hands in silence for ten minutes.I had no idea what it meant.To me? More than it should.To him? I was probably just a body, a hand, a small hand that fit in his gruff hands. Calluses from playing guitar rose over his rough palm, they kissed my soft skin, causing a friction that reminded me too much about who he was compared to me.He was like a shark, claiming he
Zane"Every time," Grandma whispered in her frail voice. "Every single time you get sad or scared... know that I'll always be with you." Her knotted arthritic hand touched my face. "I love you, Zane.""But..." I sobbed against the blankets, the blankets that smelled like her vanilla perfume and roses. "How will I know you're with me? How will I know if I can't feel you!" She was dying. And it was my fault. She always gave me her food. Every single time. She said I was a growing boy. And I was always hungry, but she needed meatloaf too! I told her so all the time, but she said she was fine with just a few bites.She always gave me the bigger portion.And watered down her own milk so I'd have some for dinner.It was one of my favorites. Cold milk.Memories of better days assaulted me.I was only seven.She took my sisters and me in when our parents abandoned us for drugs.And now she was leaving too.Why did everyone leave?Sobs wracked my body as Grandma hugged me with all
FallonIf two weeks ago anyone would have told me that lead singer of AD2, Alec Daniels, was going to be driving me to my house. I would have laughed in their face then stuttered out a jumble of words that made no sense.But I was too angry to even speak.So I stared at the really nice dashboard and wondered how many cows had to die to make all that leather.The seats were comfortable.And I was immediately set at ease when my feet kicked at a pack of size two diapers.He may be a rockstar, but he wasn't a bachelor, as if I needed further proof, a huge car seat took up half of the space in the back, complete with one of those mommy mirrors and enough toys hanging from the handle that the poor child probably experienced sensory overload every single car ride."So," Alec tapped his lean fingers against the steering wheel, the beat in the background was unmistakable, Gabe Hyde, another huge music name who'd gone on tour with AD2. I needed to blot that out of my memory if I was ev
ZaneSaint: Talk to me.Saint: Fallon...Saint: I'm sorry.Saint: We need to talk.Saint: Look, ignore me all you want but I refuse to go away. I'm like a disease.I stared down at my phone. In all my desperation, I was pretty sure I just told the girl I care about that I was like a disease. And I wasn't even drunk. It was a completely sober text. Damn it.Saint: But a good disease.Shit. I just made it worse.Saint: The kind you want?Fallon: YOU ARE DRIVING ME INSANE! Name one disease that I would actually want, and I'll talk to you.I frowned down at my phone and quickly Googled diseases that were helpful to humans, naturally I got nothing, so I made one up.Saint: Zanism. Heard girls get all hot and bothered, some even faint. Ever heard of it?Fallon: Nope. Sorry.Groaning, I stared up at her house. It had been seven days of ignored texts and phone calls.Seven. Days.I didn't text the first night because I knew it was smart to let her cool off, but
FallonHe needed to stop kissing me. It wasn't fair. To either of us, but mainly in our current situation - it wasn't fair to me. To girls like me in general.His mouth hungrily nipped at mine, as his lips explored.I put a hand between us to create some space and took a step back, Zane's breathing was heavy, laborious, his eyes wild. "What's wrong?""You.""Me," he repeated dumbly, then took another threatening step toward me, this time tugging my body against his while he swallowed kiss after kiss until I lost count of how many times our lips brushed - or the number of moans he emitted out of me as he angled his head different ways, pressing his hands to my hips then running them up my body until I trembled.I felt thoroughly seduced.And taken advantage of."You're," I said between small, heated, wet kisses. "Paying." He was persistent, I'd give him that, but I couldn't let myself fall for it, fall for the guy who was ninety-nine percent wrong and maybe one percent right.
ZaneI slept like shit most of the night, tossing and turning as nightmares haunted me as if I was experiencing them all over again."Come on, Zane." She giggled. "What's the big deal? Touch me.""I'm busy." I yawned and snagged my AP Psych book in an attempt to put some distance between me and Cassie, just another girl in a blur of girls whose only goal in life was to get me to jump between her thighs.But I didn't have time for that life.I ran the entire way to the house I'd been living in for the past three months. Rejection heated my face as I ducked and tried to run up the stairs."Zane!" Mrs. Angel shouted my name with glee. "I've been waiting for you."Great.When wasn't she waiting for me?"Come have a snack!""I ate."Silence and then. "I provide a roof over your head, the least you can do is try my chocolate chip cookies. I made them just for you."Yeah, I bet she did.I avoided eye contact as I hurriedly jogged into the kitchen and tried to swipe a cookie o
Will"I can't hear you, Chicago!" Zane yelled. "I said are you ready for some Adrenaline?"The roar was deafening.We'd sold out across the US and had to move to larger arenas, it was unreal.And I'd missed it so damn much that I was having a hard time wiping the grin from my face, though part of that could be because of Ang.She agreed to sing on some of our newer tracks.And I'd coerced her by way of sex into performing a few of them with us.It was what people wanted, especially after seeing the music video from the film, and even more so, after seeing the opening scene, the raw emotion in her eyes.And knowing our story.The whole story.The whole damn thing.Word for word. Written out in our new album, for the world to see.Andrew wrote half.I wrote half.And then we traded, added things to each other's riffs, made sure the lyrics worked, and then very amicably went into the studio to record with the rest of the group.It was intense.We still barely spoke any w
AngelicaIt was midnight by the time we made it back home. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and just... exist.And then Will started taking my clothes off, and I forgot all about existing on my own, and began to think about licking my way down his body instead, or up, I wasn't picky."Mmm." I groaned when his lips slid down my neck. "That feels nice.""You feel nice," he murmured stealing another kiss. "I love you.""Say it again.""I love you."I couldn't help the sleepy smile that spread across my face at his words. Or the desire to press my palm against his chest. And when he gripped my fingers like a lifeline, unbridled passion flickered across his handsome features as the lean muscles of his stomach seemed to ripple in the moonlight. I couldn't resist the feeling of power it gave me to know... that expression was for me.He leaned down and mapped my body with his tongue, I whined when he stopped and lifted his gaze to mine, a wicked smile teased his lips."More," I
WillBy the time we made it back to set most of the chaos had died down. Andrew was back, but he was still lurking in the corner, his eyes downcast but not as lost as when he'd first gotten to Seaside.Alec and Demetri had started a bonfire down by the ocean.All of us just followed, like we knew the fire was for us, like we were in need of the calm the heat would bring.Even Andrew eventually ventured over after Jay said something.Demetri had his ever-present guitar.Alec had his.And then Zane said something like, "Oh, look what I have here.""Any other instruments we should know about?" I said casually."Don't!" Demetri waved his hands in the air. "Don't give him the perfect set up to take off his pants, not when he's finally wearing them."Zane just shrugged.I leaned back into the sand and closed my eyes for a few seconds.Everything fell silent.So I opened one eye and then another.A guitar was being held over my head."Are you going to hit me with it?" I asked
WillThe Andrew I knew was gone.His eyes were cold.Lifeless.He finally slapped Ang's hand like a high five rather than a shake and continued to glare at me."I was scared," I finally said. "Jealous and scared."Surprise flickered across his face."I'd sent her into your arms knowing you'd take care of her while I was gone while hating the bad influence you were on each other. You had this connection I didn't understand, this... thing that gripped both of you like a vise. I didn't get it, I hated it, hated you for bringing her into it almost as much as I hated that I couldn't stop it." All things I'd told Ang without reservation. "And I'd been gone so much, it made sense, she chose drugs over me, why not eventually choose my best friend? The one who was there when I wasn't?"Andrew looked away.Ang reached for my hand and squeezed."The thing is..." I dug my heels into the sand and looked out at the horizon. "You're right, I blamed everyone but me. Hated everyone for my o
AngelicaAndrew was a runner.I could tell by his stride, the easy way he inhaled through his nose, out his mouth. While I thought I was going to pass out from shortness of breath."Andrew!" I yelled.The ocean swallowed my voice.Finally, he stopped and turned.I kept running; he was a good hundred feet in front of me.And when I finally caught up, I couldn't catch my breath, my tears were mixed with sand by then, and my lungs burned."I'm disappointed." He rasped, "You still don't exercise. Isn't that part of the steps in rehab? Find a healthy..." He made mock quotes. "Outlet.""I bite," I sucked in a gulp of air, "My fingernails and," I put my hands on my knees and tried breathing in through my nose, out through my mouth. "I color.""Color." he repeated, "With crayons? Markers? Colored pencils? Watercolors-""Crayons." I blurted then collapsed onto the sand.Slowly, he lowered his massive body next to mine.We were a few feet apart.Both of us staring at the ocean.
WillI'd passed out once in my life.Dehydration.So I didn't realize what was happening when Zane was snapping his fingers in front of my face and asking how old I was."He can't count that high," Demetri muttered."So many candles." Ty shuddered.I shoved them away and moved to a sitting position then held my head in my hands rubbing my temples. "What happened?"Nobody spoke.I sucked in a breath as the events crashed over me, jarring my memory to a painful degree.That night.That. Night.I chose never to think about it.Hated giving it power.But in that moment.I did.I thought about it - really thought about it.The fight with Ang before the concert.The fight with Andrew after.Drinking just enough to be angry at the world that things weren't going my way - that my best friend wouldn't listen to me about drugs, that he'd hurt the woman I loved, and that the woman I loved was choosing drugs over me.The groupie was pretty.And it was easy.So easy to wonder
AngelicaI heard the yelling.Demetri grabbed my arm while Alec shielded me.It looked like Andrew and Will were going head-to-head.I rolled my eyes. "I got this, guys, it was bound to happen.""Yup." Zane said from behind me, "Should have just killed him.""Hey, I was ready," Alec agreed as we all slowly jogged over to the chaotic scene where Ty was trying to hold Will back.But something about the scene was.Wrong.Rather than looking pissed - Will looked.Worried.Andrew looked ready to rip Will's throat from his body.And then I heard it.The words."...it's not that I didn't care, it's because I knew exactly whose baby it was... yours"I stutter-stepped.Demetri caught my arm.I shook my head over and over again while pieces of my memory fused.I refused to think about that time in my life especially after rehab, especially after moving on.Healing."Think about it!" Andrew kept raising his voice higher, higher. "I had just gotten back to my room, you were o
WillThings were going too good.And when things went good.I panicked.As an agent, it usually meant that you were minutes from a phone call about a publicity stunt gone wrong, or an actor taking a bender, or one of your musicians trashing a hotel room.Ticket sales being down.Labels dropping musicians.Every single time I had this feeling.Something happened.It was the same feeling that woke me up that night and made me go search for Angelica. The place in my bed, the space she belonged in was empty. And I'd missed her even as dread washed over me.The same dread that followed well into the night when she was in my arms, when we rode together to set.When we shot the cameo scene with the rest of the band.And had to keep redoing it because Trevor couldn't keep a straight face half the time, and Andrew kept snorting like he was too big of a deal to do anything.Besides that, fans had caught wind of what was happening, and we had groupies lining the outside of the set.
AngelicaI didn't want him to get to me.But he did.The way he leered at me like I was naked.Even with Will standing right there.And all the shame, all the mistakes, all the touches he'd given me, things he'd whispered in my ear, the so-called brushes of his hand, kisses to my neck.My stomach lurched.It took everything in me to walk past him.To smell that same cologne floating off his skin.And all the things that came with it.Drugs.Partying.Waking up in his hotel sheets that night, knowing that I only had myself to blame, and that I may as well embrace that side of me since Will was gone, since he wasn't coming back.The trailer door jerked open.He took one look at me, scooped me up into his arms, and held me on the couch, playing with my hair while his kisses dried up my tears.His lips moved across my cheeks, my chin, his mouth was so warm, comforting, sexy, I turned into him, inhaling his shirt while he rested his chin against my head."Thank you." I pre