ZaneDon't ask me why I did it. I'd probably lie to you just like I was lying to myself. I didn't want to go back to the house.It was lonely.And I honestly hated being there when it was empty. Typically, I at least had one person stumbling around, but now that Linc was shacking up with Dani I didn't really have anyone.She loved helping him on set.Amongst other things.And Jay was busting his ass making sure they all stayed on schedule for production.I had a date with a pizza carton.That was my future.Half was loneliness, the other half was curiosity, what type of family did this odd girl come from? My little four eyes. She probably thought I was insulting her, when really, it was the exact opposite, almost like the type of name-calling you do on the playground, where rocks are reserved for the cute girls and all that shit."Don't ask questions!" Fallon smacked my arm as though we'd known each other for years. I liked it. Damn it. "And just, when my dad starts talking
FallonMy hands were shaking.And I was sweating.There was nothing attractive about the fact that I was barely able to keep the trembling out of my voice, meaning everything I said came out harsher than I wanted it to.Did he have any idea how difficult it was to just be around him and try to act normal? To focus so desperately on my speech, on the formation of every single word just so I wouldn't stutter as much?"Holy shit." Zane's breath hit the back of my neck causing warmth to spread down my arms. "Is that crab real?"I smirked at the giant, glass fish tank at the front of the restaurant. "You mean Helga?"He whistled. "You know what they say about names. If you name something, that means you have to keep it." A flash of emotion came and went, making me more curious than I needed to be.Because it was Zane Andrews.He acted like it didn't matter.But it did. And anyone with two eyes could see that he was just used to the world giving him things."Table for two," Zane
ZaneThe morning light pierced through the curtains, dancing along my fingertips, its warmth reminding me that it was a new day, and I'd made a really shitty life choice by inviting someone to share it with me.What the hell had I been thinking?I knew it was a bad idea the minute the offer left my lips. She was too perceptive by half - most of the people I knew, didn't give a rat's ass that I didn't like crowds. They assumed it was a complete privacy thing.But that was the really unfortunate part about studying your own brain and human behavior - you realize that sometimes there is literally no explanation for why you go into fight or flight, or why for some reason, I can handle crowds if I'm distracted or with a friend, but have trouble going to the grocery store by myself.One meltdown.I'd had one meltdown at a concert last year.The record label wasn't pleased.It wasn't my fault everyone assumed it was drugs, the perfect storm of overheating, being dehydrated, and havi
FallonYou know how doctors always say never to do an internet search of your symptoms? I believed them. I refused to Google anything.I'd always been cautious to a fault.Half nerd, half goody two-shoes.More focused on my grades than my hair or the fact that girls around me were wearing heels while I was still sporting chucks and vintage band T-shirts.So, the morning after seeing Zane, after agreeing to his asinine plan and walking home in a complete daze.I did the unthinkable.I typed in his name.Zane Andrews.My first mistake was assuming that it would be all about his music and his time in Seaside.Instead, there were so many pictures of the guy shirtless that I almost dropped my phone in my bowl of oatmeal, and about died on the spot when my dad snatched my phone instead of his off the table.And being an idiot, mine wasn't password protected.So he got a huge eyeful of chest.And nearly collided with a wall in an attempt to get away from the kitchen and his dau
ZaneThree hours of flushing toilets, and I was suddenly thankful she only had a five-hour shift this morning. It wasn't like I'd planned on going to work with her like a total loser. But I'd driven to the set, taken one look at all the extras, consumed at least a half bag of marshmallows, then found myself passing the resort.After a few questions at the front desk, I was directed to the back office where Fallon would be, and the rest was history.Well, sort of.I 'd just stripped the bed when I heard her scream.My feet tangled in the sheets nearly sending me against the nightstand before I freed myself and ran into the other room."What's wrong?" Adrenaline spiked through my system as I sized up the situation. Fallon's eyes were wide and then she did a little dance and washed her hands about five times before shuddering.I peeked around the corner of the table. Clinging to the wall like a giant deflated slug was a used condom. I smirked. "Tell me you touched it.""With my
FallonI took him everywhere.And like a pubescent child, he was demanding and sometimes whiny. I made a mental note to bring marshmallows and some sort of sugary soda to keep him occupied while driving in the car."Money," Zane blurted before I dropped him off at his house. "You need money.""What?""For school." He did that nonchalant shrug thing. "Right? I mean you said your financial aid didn't kick in right away, so what if, I pay you?""You do realize I was going to do it for free, right?""Gas costs money, and so does your time, not to mention the fact that I had to stop at least three times for food, and girls gotta eat too." His eyes flashed. "Eating is important.""O...kay." I tried not to frown, but he wasn't making sense again. "So you want to pay for food."His hands started to shake, he quickly pulled at the door handle, but I grabbed his arm."Hey," My fingers dug in, keeping him in place. "Are you sure you're okay?""I'm always okay." He flashed me a fake c
FallonI regretted giving him my number almost immediately. Apparently, Dominos was getting angry that he kept calling them and asking them to approve of lyrics.So finally, three days after we started our weird partnership.Three days after the purposeful kiss.We were back to being whatever we were to begin with, the awkward girl and the pop star.We spent afternoons together walking on the beach, going to the aquarium, and eating.Zane loved eating.But he refused to eat anything without first savoring a few marshmallows, and when I asked him about it, he got so defensive I dropped the subject for fear he was going to be the celebrity that threw his drink in my face and stalked off.Mags still begged for information.But I was a vault.That, and I didn't really know what to tell her.It was kind of... not embarrassing? I don't know what it was, I couldn't really put my finger on it. Maybe it was my pride, because explaining to her that he was paying me to be like a paid
ZaneIt was getting harder.Everything was getting harder.And I really meant everything.Mentally.And physically.Ignoring the fact that every time I saw her, I felt my chest flutter like a damn girl - I looked forward to seeing her.That was bad news.She was bad news.I was leaving, no chance in hell did I want to stay in Seaside for longer than I had to. Besides, it wasn't like she was staying local anyway.We made it to the beach in record time. I was so lost in my thoughts that I nearly collided with a rock and just barely missed it by jumping down the rest of the way onto the sand."Easy ninja, you don't want to break a leg before you start touring again," Fallon said in a teasing tone.God, I really needed her to stop talking right now.Or, just. Ever.I stayed away from girls for a reason - sure I was photographed numerous times with girls hanging all over me, and yeah I'd kissed hundreds of them, but they were never fans, they were never normal, they were act
Will"I can't hear you, Chicago!" Zane yelled. "I said are you ready for some Adrenaline?"The roar was deafening.We'd sold out across the US and had to move to larger arenas, it was unreal.And I'd missed it so damn much that I was having a hard time wiping the grin from my face, though part of that could be because of Ang.She agreed to sing on some of our newer tracks.And I'd coerced her by way of sex into performing a few of them with us.It was what people wanted, especially after seeing the music video from the film, and even more so, after seeing the opening scene, the raw emotion in her eyes.And knowing our story.The whole story.The whole damn thing.Word for word. Written out in our new album, for the world to see.Andrew wrote half.I wrote half.And then we traded, added things to each other's riffs, made sure the lyrics worked, and then very amicably went into the studio to record with the rest of the group.It was intense.We still barely spoke any w
AngelicaIt was midnight by the time we made it back home. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and just... exist.And then Will started taking my clothes off, and I forgot all about existing on my own, and began to think about licking my way down his body instead, or up, I wasn't picky."Mmm." I groaned when his lips slid down my neck. "That feels nice.""You feel nice," he murmured stealing another kiss. "I love you.""Say it again.""I love you."I couldn't help the sleepy smile that spread across my face at his words. Or the desire to press my palm against his chest. And when he gripped my fingers like a lifeline, unbridled passion flickered across his handsome features as the lean muscles of his stomach seemed to ripple in the moonlight. I couldn't resist the feeling of power it gave me to know... that expression was for me.He leaned down and mapped my body with his tongue, I whined when he stopped and lifted his gaze to mine, a wicked smile teased his lips."More," I
WillBy the time we made it back to set most of the chaos had died down. Andrew was back, but he was still lurking in the corner, his eyes downcast but not as lost as when he'd first gotten to Seaside.Alec and Demetri had started a bonfire down by the ocean.All of us just followed, like we knew the fire was for us, like we were in need of the calm the heat would bring.Even Andrew eventually ventured over after Jay said something.Demetri had his ever-present guitar.Alec had his.And then Zane said something like, "Oh, look what I have here.""Any other instruments we should know about?" I said casually."Don't!" Demetri waved his hands in the air. "Don't give him the perfect set up to take off his pants, not when he's finally wearing them."Zane just shrugged.I leaned back into the sand and closed my eyes for a few seconds.Everything fell silent.So I opened one eye and then another.A guitar was being held over my head."Are you going to hit me with it?" I asked
WillThe Andrew I knew was gone.His eyes were cold.Lifeless.He finally slapped Ang's hand like a high five rather than a shake and continued to glare at me."I was scared," I finally said. "Jealous and scared."Surprise flickered across his face."I'd sent her into your arms knowing you'd take care of her while I was gone while hating the bad influence you were on each other. You had this connection I didn't understand, this... thing that gripped both of you like a vise. I didn't get it, I hated it, hated you for bringing her into it almost as much as I hated that I couldn't stop it." All things I'd told Ang without reservation. "And I'd been gone so much, it made sense, she chose drugs over me, why not eventually choose my best friend? The one who was there when I wasn't?"Andrew looked away.Ang reached for my hand and squeezed."The thing is..." I dug my heels into the sand and looked out at the horizon. "You're right, I blamed everyone but me. Hated everyone for my o
AngelicaAndrew was a runner.I could tell by his stride, the easy way he inhaled through his nose, out his mouth. While I thought I was going to pass out from shortness of breath."Andrew!" I yelled.The ocean swallowed my voice.Finally, he stopped and turned.I kept running; he was a good hundred feet in front of me.And when I finally caught up, I couldn't catch my breath, my tears were mixed with sand by then, and my lungs burned."I'm disappointed." He rasped, "You still don't exercise. Isn't that part of the steps in rehab? Find a healthy..." He made mock quotes. "Outlet.""I bite," I sucked in a gulp of air, "My fingernails and," I put my hands on my knees and tried breathing in through my nose, out through my mouth. "I color.""Color." he repeated, "With crayons? Markers? Colored pencils? Watercolors-""Crayons." I blurted then collapsed onto the sand.Slowly, he lowered his massive body next to mine.We were a few feet apart.Both of us staring at the ocean.
WillI'd passed out once in my life.Dehydration.So I didn't realize what was happening when Zane was snapping his fingers in front of my face and asking how old I was."He can't count that high," Demetri muttered."So many candles." Ty shuddered.I shoved them away and moved to a sitting position then held my head in my hands rubbing my temples. "What happened?"Nobody spoke.I sucked in a breath as the events crashed over me, jarring my memory to a painful degree.That night.That. Night.I chose never to think about it.Hated giving it power.But in that moment.I did.I thought about it - really thought about it.The fight with Ang before the concert.The fight with Andrew after.Drinking just enough to be angry at the world that things weren't going my way - that my best friend wouldn't listen to me about drugs, that he'd hurt the woman I loved, and that the woman I loved was choosing drugs over me.The groupie was pretty.And it was easy.So easy to wonder
AngelicaI heard the yelling.Demetri grabbed my arm while Alec shielded me.It looked like Andrew and Will were going head-to-head.I rolled my eyes. "I got this, guys, it was bound to happen.""Yup." Zane said from behind me, "Should have just killed him.""Hey, I was ready," Alec agreed as we all slowly jogged over to the chaotic scene where Ty was trying to hold Will back.But something about the scene was.Wrong.Rather than looking pissed - Will looked.Worried.Andrew looked ready to rip Will's throat from his body.And then I heard it.The words."...it's not that I didn't care, it's because I knew exactly whose baby it was... yours"I stutter-stepped.Demetri caught my arm.I shook my head over and over again while pieces of my memory fused.I refused to think about that time in my life especially after rehab, especially after moving on.Healing."Think about it!" Andrew kept raising his voice higher, higher. "I had just gotten back to my room, you were o
WillThings were going too good.And when things went good.I panicked.As an agent, it usually meant that you were minutes from a phone call about a publicity stunt gone wrong, or an actor taking a bender, or one of your musicians trashing a hotel room.Ticket sales being down.Labels dropping musicians.Every single time I had this feeling.Something happened.It was the same feeling that woke me up that night and made me go search for Angelica. The place in my bed, the space she belonged in was empty. And I'd missed her even as dread washed over me.The same dread that followed well into the night when she was in my arms, when we rode together to set.When we shot the cameo scene with the rest of the band.And had to keep redoing it because Trevor couldn't keep a straight face half the time, and Andrew kept snorting like he was too big of a deal to do anything.Besides that, fans had caught wind of what was happening, and we had groupies lining the outside of the set.
AngelicaI didn't want him to get to me.But he did.The way he leered at me like I was naked.Even with Will standing right there.And all the shame, all the mistakes, all the touches he'd given me, things he'd whispered in my ear, the so-called brushes of his hand, kisses to my neck.My stomach lurched.It took everything in me to walk past him.To smell that same cologne floating off his skin.And all the things that came with it.Drugs.Partying.Waking up in his hotel sheets that night, knowing that I only had myself to blame, and that I may as well embrace that side of me since Will was gone, since he wasn't coming back.The trailer door jerked open.He took one look at me, scooped me up into his arms, and held me on the couch, playing with my hair while his kisses dried up my tears.His lips moved across my cheeks, my chin, his mouth was so warm, comforting, sexy, I turned into him, inhaling his shirt while he rested his chin against my head."Thank you." I pre