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Chapter 40
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Seaside Pictures Chapter 41
BOOK TWO: KEEPZaneMy palms slid against the guitar, slick with sweat, I tried to wipe them across my jeans, but it was no use. The noise was deafening. I had to remind myself why I was up there. "Saint! Saint! Saint!" Stomping ensued while I knelt down and made the sign of a cross in the air in front of me. "We want Saint! We want Saint!" With a muffled curse, I stood, then reached into my tight jeans to pull out a smashed marshmallow.I popped it in my mouth and closed my eyes, allowing myself to be transported back to a simpler time, a time when things were easy, when decisions weren't all on me. When life was about making mud pies and carrying around miniature marshmallows in a measuring cup."You don't have to save the world," she whispered. "You know that, right?""Right." I furrowed my brow. "But why is it wrong to try?""Oh, Zane," My grandma leaned down to eye level. "Just because your parents were taken from you, doesn't make it your job to make sure everyone and e
Seaside Pictures Chapter 42
Fallon"Nope!" I held my hands in the air and started walking backwards, maneuvering my way through crowds on the boardwalk. "This is where I draw the line. I'm not a stalker!""But you could be." My friend Maggie nodded her head vigorously. "You just need to fully commit to the idea.""Of going to prison?""Oh, please." She rolled her eyes, gaining on me. If I turned and ran from my best friend and then hid in a trash can would that make me lose best friend status or just mean I was smart? I started to turn on my heel, but she grabbed my elbow and tugged me back toward Main Street. "Do you really think he'd send a blind nineteen-year-old to prison?""I'm not blind!" I yelled. "That's lying!""Your glasses are huge." Maggie's eyes widened as if to show me logistically how huge my glasses really were. "Trust me, just pretend like you can't see, he'll totally buy it.""But I can see.""Without your glasses you're legally blind as a bat," she pointed out, her long blonde ponytai
Seaside Pictures Chapter 43
ZaneShe was nerd hot.Like the girl who peaks after high school but has no idea how damn cute she is.Her lips were soft, and I swear they tasted like marshmallow. What the hell kind of chapstick smelled like marshmallows and who did I have to kill to get a hold of some?I broke off the kiss just as she swayed toward me. "Well, Fallon." I held out my hand. "It's been nice doing business with you.""Hmm? Wh-what?" Her big blue eyes blinked at me through hella thick glasses."The kiss. Business transaction. Human shield. Saved my life. The end.""Good story.""What can I say? I'm a storyteller at heart." I winked and placed a shaky hand against the brick wall behind her.I acted like it was fine.But the shaking was getting worse.As if the screaming made the shaking harder to control.And just like that, I felt the choking sensation of anxiety as I tried to rein in my emotions and concentrate on the nerd in front of me, the nerd who really had saved me from having a menta
Seaside Pictures Chapter 44
Zane"Pants." Jaymeson eyed me up and down wearily. "Blokes wear pants.""It's too early to use the word 'bloke.'" I muttered, slapping his ass as I walked past him to grab a cup of much-needed coffee.With a grunt, he placed his hands on the counter and moved his lips like he was praying."Jay?""Shhh.""Jay?""I'm counting to ten, so I don't blow your bloody head off.""America!" I shouted. "Fun fact: did you know your accent's really thick in the morning? Almost impossible to decipher if you're actually speaking English or something else."Jaymeson pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm suddenly remembering why I hesitated before saying yes, yes Zane I'd love to have you come stay with me and my new wife. You need a room? A bed to sleep in? A roof to cover your head? Hell, take my bloody dog while you're at it! Oh, what's that? You want to steal my friends too? Be my guest."With a grin, I sat on the barstool and sipped the hot, bitter liquid. "You done yet?""Yes." He fr
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Fallon"Stop screaming!" I hushed Maggie with my hand. "You're going to attract attention... people... Seagulls!"She jerked away from me, her expression one of complete exasperation. "What is with you and birds?""Never mind!" I shivered and shoved my hands in my jean pockets. What had possessed me to tell her about meeting Zane? No idea. Maybe it was the fact that I was a horrible liar, and when she saw the scratch on my glasses she started asking questions. Had I run into a tree? Gotten hit by a car? Tripped over my own feet? Okay, fine so all of the above have at least happened to me once, in my life, but that wasn't the point.The point was, when I opened my mouth, I wasn't fast enough with my lie, and Maggie had known me since we were in first grade, meaning she saw right through me."Was he hot?""He was shirtless." I swallowed past the constant dryness in my throat, the dryness that had been there since yesterday when Zane stole my chapstick and asked me to make a house
Seaside Pictures Chapter 46
ZaneShe'd caught me by surprise by completely throwing me off my game, then pissed me off so horribly that I seriously wanted to do physical damage, something - anything.Ribs.She said she'd seen ribs. Like I was hungry.And of course, because words had the power to bring back memories and with those memories feelings - I was transported, like I was living it all over again: the hollow feeling of being starved, the helplessness as she gave me more of her food since I was a growing boy. And the guilt, that while she tried to strengthen me, she grew weaker and weaker."When you said marshmallows were your addiction, I thought you were exaggerating.""Does this look like an exaggeration?" I pointed to the four grocery bags we'd just loaded up from the store and shrugged. "Besides, you never know if they'll run out or if zombies take over the world. I mean what if the only food zombies can eat to return to their natural human state is marshmallows?""Yes." She nodded seriously.
Seaside Pictures Chapter 47
FallonI wasn't entirely sure what a nervous breakdown looked like, but I did know crazy, and Zane fit the bill. Who just walked into some stranger's house, a house that said stranger is letting you stay in and starts pulling off their clothes?And he didn't have any sort of... underthings.I mentally shook my fist up at my grandma in heaven. She was the reason I used weird language. Always calling bras "braziers" and underwear "underthings", as if the word panty was too brazen to say out loud.It literally took me five trips to the Victoria's Secret in Portland to finally stutter out the word "bra." And even then, I was so exhausted and embarrassed afterward that Mags was afraid I was going to pass out.Then again, she was probably hoping I would so she could call in some hot paramedics. She was good at that, using my social awkwardness to further her dating calendar.I shoved my glasses aside to rub my burning eyes then put them back on. It was no use; the glasses were so old
Seaside Pictures Chapter 48
ZaneDon't ask me why I did it. I'd probably lie to you just like I was lying to myself. I didn't want to go back to the house.It was lonely.And I honestly hated being there when it was empty. Typically, I at least had one person stumbling around, but now that Linc was shacking up with Dani I didn't really have anyone.She loved helping him on set.Amongst other things.And Jay was busting his ass making sure they all stayed on schedule for production.I had a date with a pizza carton.That was my future.Half was loneliness, the other half was curiosity, what type of family did this odd girl come from? My little four eyes. She probably thought I was insulting her, when really, it was the exact opposite, almost like the type of name-calling you do on the playground, where rocks are reserved for the cute girls and all that shit."Don't ask questions!" Fallon smacked my arm as though we'd known each other for years. I liked it. Damn it. "And just, when my dad starts talking
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Seaside Pictures Chapter 136
Will"I can't hear you, Chicago!" Zane yelled. "I said are you ready for some Adrenaline?"The roar was deafening.We'd sold out across the US and had to move to larger arenas, it was unreal.And I'd missed it so damn much that I was having a hard time wiping the grin from my face, though part of that could be because of Ang.She agreed to sing on some of our newer tracks.And I'd coerced her by way of sex into performing a few of them with us.It was what people wanted, especially after seeing the music video from the film, and even more so, after seeing the opening scene, the raw emotion in her eyes.And knowing our story.The whole story.The whole damn thing.Word for word. Written out in our new album, for the world to see.Andrew wrote half.I wrote half.And then we traded, added things to each other's riffs, made sure the lyrics worked, and then very amicably went into the studio to record with the rest of the group.It was intense.We still barely spoke any w
Seaside Pictures Chapter 135
AngelicaIt was midnight by the time we made it back home. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and just... exist.And then Will started taking my clothes off, and I forgot all about existing on my own, and began to think about licking my way down his body instead, or up, I wasn't picky."Mmm." I groaned when his lips slid down my neck. "That feels nice.""You feel nice," he murmured stealing another kiss. "I love you.""Say it again.""I love you."I couldn't help the sleepy smile that spread across my face at his words. Or the desire to press my palm against his chest. And when he gripped my fingers like a lifeline, unbridled passion flickered across his handsome features as the lean muscles of his stomach seemed to ripple in the moonlight. I couldn't resist the feeling of power it gave me to know... that expression was for me.He leaned down and mapped my body with his tongue, I whined when he stopped and lifted his gaze to mine, a wicked smile teased his lips."More," I
Seaside Pictures Chapter 134
WillBy the time we made it back to set most of the chaos had died down. Andrew was back, but he was still lurking in the corner, his eyes downcast but not as lost as when he'd first gotten to Seaside.Alec and Demetri had started a bonfire down by the ocean.All of us just followed, like we knew the fire was for us, like we were in need of the calm the heat would bring.Even Andrew eventually ventured over after Jay said something.Demetri had his ever-present guitar.Alec had his.And then Zane said something like, "Oh, look what I have here.""Any other instruments we should know about?" I said casually."Don't!" Demetri waved his hands in the air. "Don't give him the perfect set up to take off his pants, not when he's finally wearing them."Zane just shrugged.I leaned back into the sand and closed my eyes for a few seconds.Everything fell silent.So I opened one eye and then another.A guitar was being held over my head."Are you going to hit me with it?" I asked
Seaside Pictures Chapter 133
WillThe Andrew I knew was gone.His eyes were cold.Lifeless.He finally slapped Ang's hand like a high five rather than a shake and continued to glare at me."I was scared," I finally said. "Jealous and scared."Surprise flickered across his face."I'd sent her into your arms knowing you'd take care of her while I was gone while hating the bad influence you were on each other. You had this connection I didn't understand, this... thing that gripped both of you like a vise. I didn't get it, I hated it, hated you for bringing her into it almost as much as I hated that I couldn't stop it." All things I'd told Ang without reservation. "And I'd been gone so much, it made sense, she chose drugs over me, why not eventually choose my best friend? The one who was there when I wasn't?"Andrew looked away.Ang reached for my hand and squeezed."The thing is..." I dug my heels into the sand and looked out at the horizon. "You're right, I blamed everyone but me. Hated everyone for my o
Seaside Pictures Chapter 132
AngelicaAndrew was a runner.I could tell by his stride, the easy way he inhaled through his nose, out his mouth. While I thought I was going to pass out from shortness of breath."Andrew!" I yelled.The ocean swallowed my voice.Finally, he stopped and turned.I kept running; he was a good hundred feet in front of me.And when I finally caught up, I couldn't catch my breath, my tears were mixed with sand by then, and my lungs burned."I'm disappointed." He rasped, "You still don't exercise. Isn't that part of the steps in rehab? Find a healthy..." He made mock quotes. "Outlet.""I bite," I sucked in a gulp of air, "My fingernails and," I put my hands on my knees and tried breathing in through my nose, out through my mouth. "I color.""Color." he repeated, "With crayons? Markers? Colored pencils? Watercolors-""Crayons." I blurted then collapsed onto the sand.Slowly, he lowered his massive body next to mine.We were a few feet apart.Both of us staring at the ocean.
Seaside Pictures Chapter 131
WillI'd passed out once in my life.Dehydration.So I didn't realize what was happening when Zane was snapping his fingers in front of my face and asking how old I was."He can't count that high," Demetri muttered."So many candles." Ty shuddered.I shoved them away and moved to a sitting position then held my head in my hands rubbing my temples. "What happened?"Nobody spoke.I sucked in a breath as the events crashed over me, jarring my memory to a painful degree.That night.That. Night.I chose never to think about it.Hated giving it power.But in that moment.I did.I thought about it - really thought about it.The fight with Ang before the concert.The fight with Andrew after.Drinking just enough to be angry at the world that things weren't going my way - that my best friend wouldn't listen to me about drugs, that he'd hurt the woman I loved, and that the woman I loved was choosing drugs over me.The groupie was pretty.And it was easy.So easy to wonder
Seaside Pictures Chapter 130
AngelicaI heard the yelling.Demetri grabbed my arm while Alec shielded me.It looked like Andrew and Will were going head-to-head.I rolled my eyes. "I got this, guys, it was bound to happen.""Yup." Zane said from behind me, "Should have just killed him.""Hey, I was ready," Alec agreed as we all slowly jogged over to the chaotic scene where Ty was trying to hold Will back.But something about the scene was.Wrong.Rather than looking pissed - Will looked.Worried.Andrew looked ready to rip Will's throat from his body.And then I heard it.The words."...it's not that I didn't care, it's because I knew exactly whose baby it was... yours"I stutter-stepped.Demetri caught my arm.I shook my head over and over again while pieces of my memory fused.I refused to think about that time in my life especially after rehab, especially after moving on.Healing."Think about it!" Andrew kept raising his voice higher, higher. "I had just gotten back to my room, you were o
Seaside Pictures Chapter 129
WillThings were going too good.And when things went good.I panicked.As an agent, it usually meant that you were minutes from a phone call about a publicity stunt gone wrong, or an actor taking a bender, or one of your musicians trashing a hotel room.Ticket sales being down.Labels dropping musicians.Every single time I had this feeling.Something happened.It was the same feeling that woke me up that night and made me go search for Angelica. The place in my bed, the space she belonged in was empty. And I'd missed her even as dread washed over me.The same dread that followed well into the night when she was in my arms, when we rode together to set.When we shot the cameo scene with the rest of the band.And had to keep redoing it because Trevor couldn't keep a straight face half the time, and Andrew kept snorting like he was too big of a deal to do anything.Besides that, fans had caught wind of what was happening, and we had groupies lining the outside of the set.
Seaside Pictures Chapter 128
AngelicaI didn't want him to get to me.But he did.The way he leered at me like I was naked.Even with Will standing right there.And all the shame, all the mistakes, all the touches he'd given me, things he'd whispered in my ear, the so-called brushes of his hand, kisses to my neck.My stomach lurched.It took everything in me to walk past him.To smell that same cologne floating off his skin.And all the things that came with it.Drugs.Partying.Waking up in his hotel sheets that night, knowing that I only had myself to blame, and that I may as well embrace that side of me since Will was gone, since he wasn't coming back.The trailer door jerked open.He took one look at me, scooped me up into his arms, and held me on the couch, playing with my hair while his kisses dried up my tears.His lips moved across my cheeks, my chin, his mouth was so warm, comforting, sexy, I turned into him, inhaling his shirt while he rested his chin against my head."Thank you." I pre
