WillShe'd run off set. Taken an Uber back to the house. And hadn't spoken to anyone all day.I knew she was in her room because of the lack of door and suddenly felt like an even bigger ass because she couldn't suffer in privacy.And what made matters worse was I was thankful that she wasn't locked in the bathroom because I couldn't do it again, I couldn't barge in on her and see her doing drugs."What the hell are you doing?" I roared while Ang stumbled toward me, slinking her dress up so she showed so much thigh I almost saw her underwear. "Ang! What are you doing?" She rubbed her eyes and shrugged, "I was tired, all right? So I snorted some coke, it's no big deal, plus we can drink more."I steadied her on her feet. "Ang it is a big deal, drugs are a big deal, who gave you this shit?""Problem?" Andrew came up to the door, "The guys want to get the party started, looking good Ang." I hated their relationship, loathed it actually.She gave me a guilty look."Give us a mi
AngelicaI ran away.Again.This time to the bathroom instead of my doorless room.I was too confused to keep crying.Too tired from such an emotional day to even ask what the guy meant when he said he couldn't be my friend yet needed to be my everything.And a small part of me wanted to run back into his arms and offer him all that I had and see if he'd bite. See if he'd at least be tempted.But I had nothing to offer.Except a dirty past.A shaky present.An unknown future.And guys like Will, they deserved the good girls, the ones with no demons chasing them down, the ones with no scars from needles. The ones who weren't constantly showering in an effort to clean the sins away.I started the shower.And peeled the wet clothes from my body.The bathroom door jerked open.Will stood there, shirtless. His intense gaze moved over my skin like he was caressing me with his eyes. I didn't cover up. There was no point. Because I wasn't a girl who was ashamed of the current
WillAng was even more silent than normal when she walked into the living room, her hair was a wet messy knot on the top of her head, and once again I was gifted with the girl I remembered.No makeup.An oversized T-shirt.And a pair of sweats I could have sworn I'd noticed missing from my room two nights ago when I did a load of laundry."Those mine?" I pointed at the black Under Armour sweats and waited for her to deny it.Instead, she shrugged a shoulder and said, "Maybe.""So you're stealing from me now?""Borrowing," she corrected. "If I stole them, that would mean that I left the house with them with the sole purpose of keeping them for myself." She rubbed her nose and sat cross-legged on the couch, barely hiding a yawn behind the back of her hand. "All right, we have to be on set in a few hours, so spill."I suddenly forgot everything I was going to say.And I had no idea why.I was better than this.I was an agent for God's sake. I knew the words, I was older than
Will"You look like crap," Ang said handing me a cup of coffee before swiping my keys off the counter. "I can drive.""You can drive?"This was news to me. The girl never drove. Why drive when someone could drive you and you could drink in the back seat of the limo? It was something that had always bothered me about her, the fact that she didn't really have a license, I mean she could figure it out as good as anyone but she was too lazy to go in and take a damn test."Don't worry, I won't kill us." She gave me a sly wink before tucking her hair under another one of her baseball caps and opening the door to the house, locking it behind us.Who was this person?She unlocked the Rover and jumped in. The sky was a clear inky black, stars scattered all around. The breeze was frigid. If we had to go in the ocean today I was going to kick Jay's ass.Again.Or at least threaten to.I quickly turned on the heated seats and watched in shock and a little bit of awe as Ang moved the mir
AngelicaI hadn't seen Will all day.But I had heard about the drama that went on between him and Jaymeson, and I wasn't the only one who was suffering for it. Every actor on set was ready to quit by the time the day was done. I'd never been yelled at more in my entire life.Apparently, Jamie Jaymeson had a temper.Who knew?Nobody could do anything right, he was angry at the rain, angry that the ocean didn't look blue enough, and when it was time to film the cast party scene all he did was complain that we weren't trying hard enough.I think even Linc was getting irritated.About two hours in, and Pris, his gorgeous and perfect wife strolled on set with Linc's girlfriend Dani. She took one look at the tension, grabbed his megaphone, and yelled. "Take lunch."Jaymeson opened his mouth to argue.Then Pris grabbed it again and said, "One hour."Jaymeson kicked the sand.I tried not to smirk, but it was hard. Huh, who knew he was such a softy when it came to his wife. A pang
WillI was surrounded by clothes, costumes, makeup, and basically another version of Hell and yet I couldn't wipe the grin from my face.She'd always had a beautiful voice, angelic, and it always pissed me off that she never shared it with the world, that acting was more important when she could have made a killing on Broadway. The only song she ever agreed to sing was Lighthouse the one song that when I recorded it for my own solo release...She had been too busy getting high to lay down the tracks.It had become a thing.The tardiness.Losing weight.Losing interest.Losing the light behind her eyes.And I hated that she refused help as if nothing was wrong with what she was doing.And I still didn't know why.I knew there was pain there, I knew there was misery, but why self-destruct? Why not let the people you love help you?I shook away the morose thoughts as I put on a way-too-tight white T-shirt that should be illegal in most states, right along with skinny jeans a
WillBy the time I reached the filming location on the other side of the beach where a small bar stood near the boardwalk, I was ready to hit the ground running, just in the opposite direction, say toward Antarctica. I'd been stopped numerous times.. Every few feet another scream erupted from the sidewalk.Seriously? I hadn't looked that bad... had I?Sure, I wore glasses most of the time because it made sense when staring at a computer most days. I'd developed astigmatism, so what?And yeah, I liked wearing relaxed jeans, it's not like they weren't designer, and right, okay so most of my wardrobe consisted of suits.Button ups.Jackets.I froze."Oh, shit." I ran my hands through my mussed hair and fought the urge to puke. "I'm my father."I didn't have time to think about what this meant, and why it hurt so badly when Ang said the same thing, and why I'd needed to hear her deny it, mainly because he was a money hungry lunatic with designer suits and never enough time for h
Will"Bonfire!" Zane shouted pounding on the door minutes after both Ang and I had gotten home.I groaned. "Think we can hide?""I can hear you whispering!" Zane yelled. "Plus I saw the SUV pull up, we already got all the shit, I got the mallows, meet us all on the beach in ten. And Will, try not to look like our chaperone!""Try not to look naked!" I yelled back."No promises!" was Zane's only reply before we were once again left alone, I'd walked off set in my old clothes and suddenly felt like a stranger in my own body, as if the parts didn't match anymore."What do you say?" I eyed Ang wearily. "You too tired?"She gave her head a shake. "Even if I was, they'd just come back and kidnap one of us... let me just grab some water and I'll be ready.""I'll get it." I held out my hand.She was still holding onto the coffee cup.I purposefully pried it from her fingers, went over to the counter, washed it, and put it away all before getting her a bottle of water from the fridg
Will"I can't hear you, Chicago!" Zane yelled. "I said are you ready for some Adrenaline?"The roar was deafening.We'd sold out across the US and had to move to larger arenas, it was unreal.And I'd missed it so damn much that I was having a hard time wiping the grin from my face, though part of that could be because of Ang.She agreed to sing on some of our newer tracks.And I'd coerced her by way of sex into performing a few of them with us.It was what people wanted, especially after seeing the music video from the film, and even more so, after seeing the opening scene, the raw emotion in her eyes.And knowing our story.The whole story.The whole damn thing.Word for word. Written out in our new album, for the world to see.Andrew wrote half.I wrote half.And then we traded, added things to each other's riffs, made sure the lyrics worked, and then very amicably went into the studio to record with the rest of the group.It was intense.We still barely spoke any w
AngelicaIt was midnight by the time we made it back home. All I wanted to do was crawl into bed and just... exist.And then Will started taking my clothes off, and I forgot all about existing on my own, and began to think about licking my way down his body instead, or up, I wasn't picky."Mmm." I groaned when his lips slid down my neck. "That feels nice.""You feel nice," he murmured stealing another kiss. "I love you.""Say it again.""I love you."I couldn't help the sleepy smile that spread across my face at his words. Or the desire to press my palm against his chest. And when he gripped my fingers like a lifeline, unbridled passion flickered across his handsome features as the lean muscles of his stomach seemed to ripple in the moonlight. I couldn't resist the feeling of power it gave me to know... that expression was for me.He leaned down and mapped my body with his tongue, I whined when he stopped and lifted his gaze to mine, a wicked smile teased his lips."More," I
WillBy the time we made it back to set most of the chaos had died down. Andrew was back, but he was still lurking in the corner, his eyes downcast but not as lost as when he'd first gotten to Seaside.Alec and Demetri had started a bonfire down by the ocean.All of us just followed, like we knew the fire was for us, like we were in need of the calm the heat would bring.Even Andrew eventually ventured over after Jay said something.Demetri had his ever-present guitar.Alec had his.And then Zane said something like, "Oh, look what I have here.""Any other instruments we should know about?" I said casually."Don't!" Demetri waved his hands in the air. "Don't give him the perfect set up to take off his pants, not when he's finally wearing them."Zane just shrugged.I leaned back into the sand and closed my eyes for a few seconds.Everything fell silent.So I opened one eye and then another.A guitar was being held over my head."Are you going to hit me with it?" I asked
WillThe Andrew I knew was gone.His eyes were cold.Lifeless.He finally slapped Ang's hand like a high five rather than a shake and continued to glare at me."I was scared," I finally said. "Jealous and scared."Surprise flickered across his face."I'd sent her into your arms knowing you'd take care of her while I was gone while hating the bad influence you were on each other. You had this connection I didn't understand, this... thing that gripped both of you like a vise. I didn't get it, I hated it, hated you for bringing her into it almost as much as I hated that I couldn't stop it." All things I'd told Ang without reservation. "And I'd been gone so much, it made sense, she chose drugs over me, why not eventually choose my best friend? The one who was there when I wasn't?"Andrew looked away.Ang reached for my hand and squeezed."The thing is..." I dug my heels into the sand and looked out at the horizon. "You're right, I blamed everyone but me. Hated everyone for my o
AngelicaAndrew was a runner.I could tell by his stride, the easy way he inhaled through his nose, out his mouth. While I thought I was going to pass out from shortness of breath."Andrew!" I yelled.The ocean swallowed my voice.Finally, he stopped and turned.I kept running; he was a good hundred feet in front of me.And when I finally caught up, I couldn't catch my breath, my tears were mixed with sand by then, and my lungs burned."I'm disappointed." He rasped, "You still don't exercise. Isn't that part of the steps in rehab? Find a healthy..." He made mock quotes. "Outlet.""I bite," I sucked in a gulp of air, "My fingernails and," I put my hands on my knees and tried breathing in through my nose, out through my mouth. "I color.""Color." he repeated, "With crayons? Markers? Colored pencils? Watercolors-""Crayons." I blurted then collapsed onto the sand.Slowly, he lowered his massive body next to mine.We were a few feet apart.Both of us staring at the ocean.
WillI'd passed out once in my life.Dehydration.So I didn't realize what was happening when Zane was snapping his fingers in front of my face and asking how old I was."He can't count that high," Demetri muttered."So many candles." Ty shuddered.I shoved them away and moved to a sitting position then held my head in my hands rubbing my temples. "What happened?"Nobody spoke.I sucked in a breath as the events crashed over me, jarring my memory to a painful degree.That night.That. Night.I chose never to think about it.Hated giving it power.But in that moment.I did.I thought about it - really thought about it.The fight with Ang before the concert.The fight with Andrew after.Drinking just enough to be angry at the world that things weren't going my way - that my best friend wouldn't listen to me about drugs, that he'd hurt the woman I loved, and that the woman I loved was choosing drugs over me.The groupie was pretty.And it was easy.So easy to wonder
AngelicaI heard the yelling.Demetri grabbed my arm while Alec shielded me.It looked like Andrew and Will were going head-to-head.I rolled my eyes. "I got this, guys, it was bound to happen.""Yup." Zane said from behind me, "Should have just killed him.""Hey, I was ready," Alec agreed as we all slowly jogged over to the chaotic scene where Ty was trying to hold Will back.But something about the scene was.Wrong.Rather than looking pissed - Will looked.Worried.Andrew looked ready to rip Will's throat from his body.And then I heard it.The words."...it's not that I didn't care, it's because I knew exactly whose baby it was... yours"I stutter-stepped.Demetri caught my arm.I shook my head over and over again while pieces of my memory fused.I refused to think about that time in my life especially after rehab, especially after moving on.Healing."Think about it!" Andrew kept raising his voice higher, higher. "I had just gotten back to my room, you were o
WillThings were going too good.And when things went good.I panicked.As an agent, it usually meant that you were minutes from a phone call about a publicity stunt gone wrong, or an actor taking a bender, or one of your musicians trashing a hotel room.Ticket sales being down.Labels dropping musicians.Every single time I had this feeling.Something happened.It was the same feeling that woke me up that night and made me go search for Angelica. The place in my bed, the space she belonged in was empty. And I'd missed her even as dread washed over me.The same dread that followed well into the night when she was in my arms, when we rode together to set.When we shot the cameo scene with the rest of the band.And had to keep redoing it because Trevor couldn't keep a straight face half the time, and Andrew kept snorting like he was too big of a deal to do anything.Besides that, fans had caught wind of what was happening, and we had groupies lining the outside of the set.
AngelicaI didn't want him to get to me.But he did.The way he leered at me like I was naked.Even with Will standing right there.And all the shame, all the mistakes, all the touches he'd given me, things he'd whispered in my ear, the so-called brushes of his hand, kisses to my neck.My stomach lurched.It took everything in me to walk past him.To smell that same cologne floating off his skin.And all the things that came with it.Drugs.Partying.Waking up in his hotel sheets that night, knowing that I only had myself to blame, and that I may as well embrace that side of me since Will was gone, since he wasn't coming back.The trailer door jerked open.He took one look at me, scooped me up into his arms, and held me on the couch, playing with my hair while his kisses dried up my tears.His lips moved across my cheeks, my chin, his mouth was so warm, comforting, sexy, I turned into him, inhaling his shirt while he rested his chin against my head."Thank you." I pre