When I selected my research topic as: Cure of death

I wrote this poem for Amy and my life today:

"Make mercy your choice. Don't decline in worth. Move straight up. That's all about right. Invention is mercy. Creation is a blessing. There is nothing left for life itself. There is peace for occupancy in every mind. We don't adhere to misfits. We speak of speech. But love declines with time. Adoration declines with time. We cannot worship dust. We created great. The cause of God's existence was not limited. We need to excel again and again. Furthermore, on the floor of life, we stay. Again. Yet again."

I didn't show her with the fear to speak about it. I convey less to others. For I believe speech in excess creates tremors in my brain. A thought which I don't know comes from where. But I accept it as the best outfit for every new day. I know what dirt is. I worship food instead. On this floor of my life, I am not alone. Amy is with me. Though she is half better than me, despite all the misfits, I offer her to live with.

Will I miss her when she is dead? My mother died when I was young. I couldn't bring her back. I was disappointed by death for the first time. My father died a few years later. This time, I also failed to forget the dead person. I felt the graveyard was at peace, but there was some noise in my life or the lives of living beings. My brother died, too. He died young. This time, I was also furious about death but couldn't understand it all. Maybe this time Amy will leave me. I don't even have time for her. Does she feel it? Will she thus plan to die in front of me as an offence to me?

I know it hurts the living to see things in a misfit. But do ghosts also feel? Is the ghost an altogether different energy? This means every ghost has a religion, a country, and a cause. Will I, too, live after death as a ghost? Looking, searching, longing for life again. Can life be again? Will then I also be called a mad scientist after death's cure? Is there any other way I can assure the family of life? Is there a heaven for me too? Are they all in heaven? The Bible could be wrong. A science professor advised me against the Bible when I was very young; I could never reread the Bible. My mother was no longer punishing me for doing so.

My mother was alive. Wow! She, too, would have hugged me, kissed me, loved me intensely. Just as all mothers do. Did your mother ever show her love to you? Why am I asking this? I remember almost nothing of her today. She is dead. I have accepted death. But will Amy plan the same way against me? She, too, is a lady like my mother, demanding attention. Did she learn how to die from our neighbour who committed suicide? I found her often talking to her.

I think all humans have received a fair amount of education on the way and reason to commit death. Am I one of them? No, I cannot die. Leaving behind my children in utter pain. But then I have no children. But I cannot leave even my brother all alone in the world. Absolutely alone! But then my brother died when I was young. I have no other real brother. I don't know, but my death will hurt a lot. People really don't know me. But maybe they can feel me. I study death's cure; perhaps they are beginning to believe it.

I know life is unjust. When you most want to live, life leaves you. But I have no other reason other than my lab to live for. I enjoy next to nothing in my daily life. But maybe Amy! Yes! I have only one person, and I know she loves me. She never left me alone. She cares for me. What if she someday gets tired of watching for me and commits suicide like my neighbour? She was more than friendly with her. I don't have to think about extremes. I really don't have to. Things will support me. Circumstances will help me. Amy will live. Amy will live. I will... I will just now find a death cure. I will do it now. No matter how difficult it may be to do for me today.

It may be challenging. But it's pretty easy to excel in life. I will apologise to myself. I shouldn't begin my life on a negative note. I need to be brave to see life differently. I need to excel. Yes, I need to grow in life. I have grown stronger than who I have been those dead years. Not dead years. Years passed by. I don't very much appreciate the word death or dead in usage. I end my day's note with a new quote: "Maybe there is a super microbe which, if present in large numbers in my body, can make me live forever." I may be right in that. I will explore it today.

I know life is occupied in my mind. I am too deeply hurt and cannot resist frequent emotional pains. But I will grow. I am telling you the truth. I am going to grow. But that doesn't speak of me accepting death. I will one day get my family back. I will find a death cure. I will because I know. I will for myself. For you, too! Do you also have a family? How does your father respond to your day-to-day needs as a youth? Tell me.

Much time has been spent growing into myself; the early morning is almost ending. Let me begin my day with thoughts other than those I have. Let me acknowledge the day in a working lab. I am on it again today to work on microbes. A super microbe that can save all lives till eternity. Just as Jesus said to my mother, father and brother. I will work out... I will work out...