“Don’t bother. I can manage,” I said and waved my phone to show him that I’d just book myself a cab. Wala rin naman akong planong makituloy sa bahay ng kung sino mang kaibigan o kamag-anak. I’ll just stay at a hotel for the next few days to relax and think.Wala rin naman akong choice kundi tanggapin ang pamilya nina Felix sa amin. I just need to calm the fuck down or else I’d add fuel to the damn fire. Hindi ko alam kung anong naging reaksyon niya. I feel dizzy and tired that I just want to lay on a bed. Isa pa masyado na akong napahiya sa lalaking nakaupo sa harap ko. I have to leave before things gets worse kaya minabuti kong talikuran na siya at lumabas ng club.His response to my offer makes me feel very damn awful. That is so fucking embarrassing!Pero nasabi ko na, eh. And as stupid as it may sound, I’m not regretting it. I do not regret it, because if he’d accept the offer, I’ll gladly be his girlfriend.Damn, I really am drunk.Sinikap kong panatilihing mulat ang mga mata ko
I couldn’t recall how much I cried for a few days because of that. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari, or what triggered them back, but the memories kept flowing like a river that could not be stopped. And along that, I could feel surges of emotion that I could not name. Halo-halo ang nararamdaman ko, and I don’t know if I could even contain all of them. I don’t even know how many days it has been. I was only brought meals inside my room and was taken care of. Minsan binibisita ako nina Daddy at Tita Faureen sa kwarto, but I don’t have the energy to talk to them. When I look at my father, all I can do is cry. Kaya nang lumabas ako sa kwarto, they were all surprised.“Paris? How are you feeling? I should’ve just brought you some food for–!” Napatigil si Tita Faureen sa pagsalubong sa akin nang mapansin niya kung ano ang nakakuha ng atensyon ko pagbaba ko ng hagdan. My lips parted at the sight of tons of flowers in the living room. Some are withered, and some are being saved by Tita
I saw my whole world fall apart right before my eyes when he uttered those words. How… how is that possible?“What are you saying? T-That can’t be… my father would’ve killed you–!”“He almost did. Remember?” he asked with a ghost of a smile, cutting me off and making me remember that he was right.Galit na galit sa kanya si Daddy noon, and I could vividly remember the night when he was almost killed by my Dad. Hindi ko magawang maintindihan noon ang aking ama, pero ngayong narinig ko ang mga salitang ‘yon mula kay Chester, parang naninikip ang dibdib ko.“Are you sure you want to talk about it already? Paris you seem unwell. I–!”“No,” I said. “Keep talking. But please… nagmamakaawa ako sa’yo. Do not lie this time.”My words were straight and blank. But his eyes tell me that to him, they were like bullets fired into his chest for a reason that I could not name.But after a few blinks, nawala iyon at matamis siyang ngumiti sa akin. “I promise.”Chester and I have been great the next fe
Masama ang loob ko at walang imik hanggang makabalik kami sa resthouse nila Chester. Maging siya tuloy ay tahimik at hindi ako kinikibo kaya mas lalo lang akong naiinis.Well, I’m not totally mad at him. Naiinis ako sa nalaman ko! And the fact that they’re still friends made me dislike the idea even more. Dumagdag pang parang hindi niya napapansing masama ang loob ko.Eh ‘di do’n siya kay Claire!Wait, no. Ugh!“What’s wrong? Are you mad at me?” tanong niya nang hilahin ako para maupo sa lap niya sa couch dahil tataas na sana ako sa kuwarto.I rolled my eyes. “No,” I simply answered and was about to leave him pero siyempre, hindi niya ako hinayaan. Si Chester ‘yan, eh!“Sinungaling,” mahina at mapanuyang asik niya bago ako ginawaran ng halik sa pisngi. “Tell me, Love. What’s bothering you? Kakaunti lang ang napamili mo dahil kanina ka pang ganiyan.”I rolled my eyes. “Oo nga at kanina ka pa rin walang pake,” asik ko.He groaned as he buried his face on my neck. “I’ve been trying to ca
What…Everything fell silent after he uttered those words. Pakiramdam ko, pinagsakluban ako ng langit at lupa at hindi ko alam kung anong paniniwalaan.I felt numb. I-I couldn’t even think properly or say something properly. Gusto kong tumakbo… gusto kong magwala… gusto kong….Oh God, what is this?“Chancellor pushed her causing her death. M-Magkasama kami noon at naglalaro nang makita niya ang Mommy mo. Back then, we… we really hated your Mom because we know what’s up between her and dad,” pagpapatuloy ni Chester sa mga bagay na hindi niya nasabi sa akin noon.“She approached us, and it was really an accident. My brother didn’t mean it… we were…” parang dinudurog ang puso ko sa bawat salitang binibigkas niya. His voice was hoarse and breaking. Parang paulit-ulit siyang sinasaksak sa bawat salitang binibitawan, and it breaks my heart hearing him that way. “... we were just children…”Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya at halos madurog ako nang makita siyang umiiyak. He was doing his b
I was taken aback by the words he uttered. Like what I said, I understood why he did those back then. Pero ngayong humihingi siya ng tawad sa akin, hindi ko alam ang isasagot.“Dad…”He smiled weakly and tried to look at me. “I know what I did back then was unforgivable, but I was just protecting you, and…”“Dad, Dad…” kaagad ko siyang pinutol. I held his hand and smiled at him. I know that I hated him so much back then. I was stupid. I was reckless and damn stupid. Ngayon, kahit hindi ko pa rin maintindihan kung bakit niya pinakasalan si Tita Faureen, I don’t care anymore.He’s all that I have. He’s the only parent I have.And this grudge has been here too long already. Pagod na pagod na akong magalit.“I understand…” pagpapatuloy ko ngunit suno-sunod siyang umiling sa akin.“No, I didn’t give you a proper explanation back then,” aniya. “Your Tita Faureen, she and I have been good friends even before I met your mother. When your mom left, I… I didn’t know what to do. I wanted you to
“Kanina mo pa akong hindi kinakausap,” he stated as a matter of factly nang maibaba ang mga gamit namin sa couch ng kanyang bahay. Yet again, we’re here at Tagaytay to stay for a couple of days, at umpisa pa lang ay hindi na ako agad nag-eenjoy!“Inaantok lang,” sagot ko at agad tinanggal ang jacket. Akma kong kukunin ang maleta ko at aakyat na papunta sa kwarto. Gusto kong magshower at umidlip muna bago siya kausapin. Pakiramdam ko wala na rin akong ganang kumain dahil sa pagod at sama ng loob. Maybe when I wake up in the middle of the night due to some sort of miracle, just maybe I will talk to him.Pero sino bang niloko ko? Hindi ko ‘yata matatakasan ang isang ‘to. “Hey,” kaagad niyang hinawakan ang maleta ko at pagod na tumayo mula sa couch. I glared at him at hinila pabalik ang maleta ko pero hindi niya naman iyon binitawan.“Bitaw. Inaantok na ko, Chester.” Pero sa halip na sumunod, tumayo lang siya at hinarap ako. Ako tuloy itong nanlilisik ang matang nakatingala sa kanya!“Wh
“What’s wrong?” maagap kong tanong nang makitang i-decline niya ang call. “May problema na naman ba?”I parted my lips and wanted to ask more, pero kaagad niya naman akong pinigilan sa pamamagitan ng isang matamis na ngiti. “It’s just work. Sigurado ako roon. Huwag na lang nating sagutin–!”“Chester,” mahinang tawag ko dahil hindi ko talaga gusto ang nararamdaman. I know, I may just be being too paranoid, but can you blame me?I have to ask it.“You’re not hiding something from me again, are you?” I asked. It’s not that I don’t trust him pero… I don’t know… it’s just my gut.Kung may problema naman kasi ang company ay surely, naroon ang kaniyang ama at mga kapatid. I.. I don’t know, iba lang talaga ang pakiramdam ko. I feel like I’ve known him too much, and I know the way he acts when he’s hiding something.And I’m not mad… I’m just worried that maybe… he’s doing this again to protect me from something. Ayaw ko ng ganoon. Ayaw ko na poproblemahin niya lahat nang siya lang.He has me.
Three days. It has been three days since we got back from Tagaytay. Biglaan kasing nag-aya si Chester noong gabing iyon na umuwi na kami kaya wala na rin akong nagawa. At mula noong gabing iyon, hindi na kami nag-uusap.Well, we had dry conversations, but that’s about it. He’s dry when he talks to me. Kahit pa pilitin niyang magpanggap na walang problema, sana aware din siya na alam kong may problema.Pero kahit na…Hindi ko magawang kulitin siya tungkol doon. I sighed. Hay, hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin ko.“The Lorente’s are back in business,” Dad said out of nowhere habang nagbbrowse siya ng balita sa kanyang Ipad. “Do you know them?” he asked me.I pursed my lips and slowly nodded. Lorente. Apilyedo ngayon ng Mommy ni Chester.So they already settled things? She really got what she wanted.Kung ganoon, ano pang problema? Bakit ganoon si Chester?“You’re silent,” puna ni Dad. “Are you sure ayaw mong sumama kina Faureen sa Okada? You’d be bored here.”Nilaro ko ng tinidor ang s
“Love,” I called him nang makarating kami sa bahay. Kanina pa siyang tahimik at walang kibo sa biyahe dahil sa nangyari. He look tensed, frustrated, angry in fact, dahil sa nangyari kanina. Hindi ko na tuloy naintindi ang maraming bulaklak sa likod ng pickup niya.Instead, I tried to follow him inside the bedroom kung saan alam kong didiretso siya.“Is that any way to greet your mother?” the woman asked.My lips parted. I was about to look at Chester gamit ang matang mapagtanong, nang bigla niya akong hilahin papunta sa kanyang likuran. And that alone answered my questions. She really is his motherPero bakit siya nandito?After all that Chester said kanina, hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. Hindi ko rin alam kung anong dapat kong gawin dahil sa paraan pa lang ng paghawak niya sa akin ay ramdam ko na kung gaano niya kaayaw sa presensya ng kaniyang ina.Damn, why is she here? I mean, I don’t mean anything bad, pero gusto ko sanang mag-relax kaming mag-asawa ngayon. My husband’s
“What’s wrong?” maagap kong tanong nang makitang i-decline niya ang call. “May problema na naman ba?”I parted my lips and wanted to ask more, pero kaagad niya naman akong pinigilan sa pamamagitan ng isang matamis na ngiti. “It’s just work. Sigurado ako roon. Huwag na lang nating sagutin–!”“Chester,” mahinang tawag ko dahil hindi ko talaga gusto ang nararamdaman. I know, I may just be being too paranoid, but can you blame me?I have to ask it.“You’re not hiding something from me again, are you?” I asked. It’s not that I don’t trust him pero… I don’t know… it’s just my gut.Kung may problema naman kasi ang company ay surely, naroon ang kaniyang ama at mga kapatid. I.. I don’t know, iba lang talaga ang pakiramdam ko. I feel like I’ve known him too much, and I know the way he acts when he’s hiding something.And I’m not mad… I’m just worried that maybe… he’s doing this again to protect me from something. Ayaw ko ng ganoon. Ayaw ko na poproblemahin niya lahat nang siya lang.He has me.
“Kanina mo pa akong hindi kinakausap,” he stated as a matter of factly nang maibaba ang mga gamit namin sa couch ng kanyang bahay. Yet again, we’re here at Tagaytay to stay for a couple of days, at umpisa pa lang ay hindi na ako agad nag-eenjoy!“Inaantok lang,” sagot ko at agad tinanggal ang jacket. Akma kong kukunin ang maleta ko at aakyat na papunta sa kwarto. Gusto kong magshower at umidlip muna bago siya kausapin. Pakiramdam ko wala na rin akong ganang kumain dahil sa pagod at sama ng loob. Maybe when I wake up in the middle of the night due to some sort of miracle, just maybe I will talk to him.Pero sino bang niloko ko? Hindi ko ‘yata matatakasan ang isang ‘to. “Hey,” kaagad niyang hinawakan ang maleta ko at pagod na tumayo mula sa couch. I glared at him at hinila pabalik ang maleta ko pero hindi niya naman iyon binitawan.“Bitaw. Inaantok na ko, Chester.” Pero sa halip na sumunod, tumayo lang siya at hinarap ako. Ako tuloy itong nanlilisik ang matang nakatingala sa kanya!“Wh
I was taken aback by the words he uttered. Like what I said, I understood why he did those back then. Pero ngayong humihingi siya ng tawad sa akin, hindi ko alam ang isasagot.“Dad…”He smiled weakly and tried to look at me. “I know what I did back then was unforgivable, but I was just protecting you, and…”“Dad, Dad…” kaagad ko siyang pinutol. I held his hand and smiled at him. I know that I hated him so much back then. I was stupid. I was reckless and damn stupid. Ngayon, kahit hindi ko pa rin maintindihan kung bakit niya pinakasalan si Tita Faureen, I don’t care anymore.He’s all that I have. He’s the only parent I have.And this grudge has been here too long already. Pagod na pagod na akong magalit.“I understand…” pagpapatuloy ko ngunit suno-sunod siyang umiling sa akin.“No, I didn’t give you a proper explanation back then,” aniya. “Your Tita Faureen, she and I have been good friends even before I met your mother. When your mom left, I… I didn’t know what to do. I wanted you to
What…Everything fell silent after he uttered those words. Pakiramdam ko, pinagsakluban ako ng langit at lupa at hindi ko alam kung anong paniniwalaan.I felt numb. I-I couldn’t even think properly or say something properly. Gusto kong tumakbo… gusto kong magwala… gusto kong….Oh God, what is this?“Chancellor pushed her causing her death. M-Magkasama kami noon at naglalaro nang makita niya ang Mommy mo. Back then, we… we really hated your Mom because we know what’s up between her and dad,” pagpapatuloy ni Chester sa mga bagay na hindi niya nasabi sa akin noon.“She approached us, and it was really an accident. My brother didn’t mean it… we were…” parang dinudurog ang puso ko sa bawat salitang binibigkas niya. His voice was hoarse and breaking. Parang paulit-ulit siyang sinasaksak sa bawat salitang binibitawan, and it breaks my heart hearing him that way. “... we were just children…”Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya at halos madurog ako nang makita siyang umiiyak. He was doing his b
Masama ang loob ko at walang imik hanggang makabalik kami sa resthouse nila Chester. Maging siya tuloy ay tahimik at hindi ako kinikibo kaya mas lalo lang akong naiinis.Well, I’m not totally mad at him. Naiinis ako sa nalaman ko! And the fact that they’re still friends made me dislike the idea even more. Dumagdag pang parang hindi niya napapansing masama ang loob ko.Eh ‘di do’n siya kay Claire!Wait, no. Ugh!“What’s wrong? Are you mad at me?” tanong niya nang hilahin ako para maupo sa lap niya sa couch dahil tataas na sana ako sa kuwarto.I rolled my eyes. “No,” I simply answered and was about to leave him pero siyempre, hindi niya ako hinayaan. Si Chester ‘yan, eh!“Sinungaling,” mahina at mapanuyang asik niya bago ako ginawaran ng halik sa pisngi. “Tell me, Love. What’s bothering you? Kakaunti lang ang napamili mo dahil kanina ka pang ganiyan.”I rolled my eyes. “Oo nga at kanina ka pa rin walang pake,” asik ko.He groaned as he buried his face on my neck. “I’ve been trying to ca
I saw my whole world fall apart right before my eyes when he uttered those words. How… how is that possible?“What are you saying? T-That can’t be… my father would’ve killed you–!”“He almost did. Remember?” he asked with a ghost of a smile, cutting me off and making me remember that he was right.Galit na galit sa kanya si Daddy noon, and I could vividly remember the night when he was almost killed by my Dad. Hindi ko magawang maintindihan noon ang aking ama, pero ngayong narinig ko ang mga salitang ‘yon mula kay Chester, parang naninikip ang dibdib ko.“Are you sure you want to talk about it already? Paris you seem unwell. I–!”“No,” I said. “Keep talking. But please… nagmamakaawa ako sa’yo. Do not lie this time.”My words were straight and blank. But his eyes tell me that to him, they were like bullets fired into his chest for a reason that I could not name.But after a few blinks, nawala iyon at matamis siyang ngumiti sa akin. “I promise.”Chester and I have been great the next fe
I couldn’t recall how much I cried for a few days because of that. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyayari, or what triggered them back, but the memories kept flowing like a river that could not be stopped. And along that, I could feel surges of emotion that I could not name. Halo-halo ang nararamdaman ko, and I don’t know if I could even contain all of them. I don’t even know how many days it has been. I was only brought meals inside my room and was taken care of. Minsan binibisita ako nina Daddy at Tita Faureen sa kwarto, but I don’t have the energy to talk to them. When I look at my father, all I can do is cry. Kaya nang lumabas ako sa kwarto, they were all surprised.“Paris? How are you feeling? I should’ve just brought you some food for–!” Napatigil si Tita Faureen sa pagsalubong sa akin nang mapansin niya kung ano ang nakakuha ng atensyon ko pagbaba ko ng hagdan. My lips parted at the sight of tons of flowers in the living room. Some are withered, and some are being saved by Tita