Chapter 5

Aiden is silent while driving me to school. I know I might be dramatic, but I never really had someone to show me how to deal with emotions. I kept quiet as well until he stopped in front of the school.

“Thank you,” I said while sliding out of the car seat. Aiden just smiled before he took off. Maybe the kiss wasn’t as good for him as it was for me. I pushed that emotion to the back of my mind and tried not to think about it.

“Are you serious?” Jocelyn said with an angry voice behind me.

“Excuse me?” I ask, confused.

“Did you spent the night with my brother? Because I know you weren’t in school yesterday, so he lied to my Mother.”

“Yes, I did, and guess what? I even slept with him.” I replied with a smirk on my face. I honestly have no energy for this brat, and if she thinks she can control me, then she’s clearly taking me for a pushover. The only reason she’s popular in school is because of her brother.

“You slept with my brother?”

“Yes, and oh boy.” I drag out, clear pain showing on her face, and I love it.

“Get lost, Jocelyn.” she turned around and walked away. A few girls are glaring at me, probably thinking, how in the world did Aiden sleep with you? Well, guess what girls he didn’t, but we did kiss, and then he turned into a silent jackass.

“Please take your seat, Emily.” the English teacher said. Jocelyn is frowning at me with angry eyes, and her friends as well. I rolled my eyes and focus on my steps walking to my table.

“Please tell me your brother was high or something? How in the world did he sleep with her?” Jocelyn's friend asks. Looking like a hooker on 3rd Street, with her fake blond hair.

I might not actually have slept with him, but I kissed him, or he kissed me. Either way, maybe she’s right. He was probably high or something. There is no way someone can care so much about a person only knowing them a day or two. I jumped up and walked to the door.

“Where are you going?” Mrs Adams asks.

“Probably to the one place she fits in, the docs,” Jocelyn announced with a smirk on her face. I turned around to face her, a clear smile on my face.

“No, actually, your brother called. He wants to go for round 2” The smirk on her face turned into clear embarrassment. Yeah, f**k you Jocelyn.

“See you.” I waved and walked out the door. My heart pains to think that Aiden actually used me. Why did I think this time would be different? I quickly recover from that fucking sad feeling that is stirring inside me. I removed the small plastic bag with pot from my bag and rolled a joint before my mind plays emotional tricks on me again. I have no idea where I’m actually am. My mind was focused on what happened this morning, so I should’ve walked in the wrong direction. I took a few puffs from the joint and by the time I actually notice where I was, the joint was finished. My mind is foggy and I can feel like my old self again, the one that doesn’t give a fuck to anyone.

The Emily who shut down from emotions and any pain that can pull me out of that hole that protects me. I walked in circles for hours until I finally made it back to the Emersons. The sun is about to set.

Aiden’s car is outside the driveway and the lights are already burning inside the house. I let out a bog sigh before I opened the front door.

“Where were you?” Mrs Emerson asked angrily or worried. I can’t really tell. I’m still high.

“Probably with Aiden. Oh shoot, Aiden’s here,” Jocelyn announced in a sarcastic tone, and I had enough.

“Listen here, you little...” I match forward to grab her by the throat, but Mrs Emerson started yelling at me to stop.

“Why? I bet you can’t wait to call the judge and tell him to remove me from your home. You know what? here, take my phone. My number is saved under his favourites.” I practically throw Mrs Emerson with my phone, making Jocelyn jump up from the couch, punching me in the face.

Everything around me started spinning and the one thing I wished for not to happen, happened. I totally shut down from the last emotions I had left inside me.

“Emily, stop,” Aiden yelled, pulling me off from his sister. Her face busted and Mrs Emerson crying with her hands over her eyes.

“Ivory,” I called when I saw her standing in fear.

“Get her out of here.” Mrs Emerson asked Aiden, who nods and took me by my hand to lead me outside. My entire body is shaking, my breathing heavy. Ivory’s scared face is haunting me as I climb into the car.

“You’re hungry?” he asks the moment he stepped into the car.

“What?”

“I asked if you’re hungry?” his eyes focus on the road.

“I just attacked your sister and you asking me if I’m hungry.” I glared at him in confusion.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said.

“Good, me neither. You can drop me off at the docs or just here, I can walk.” he finally turned his face to look at me, but I stared out the window, suppressing my anger.

“Why, Emily? Why would you throw away the one change you have to turn your life around? I know my sister can be a bitch, but my Mother cares about you, I...”

“Don’t you fucking dare say that word again, you hear me,” I yell, my face probably red as the words leave my mouth. I never want to hear that word care again, never.

“We can go to my apartment.”

“Didn’t you just hear me? I said drop me off at the docs.” my voice echoes through the car, but Aiden ignores me, driving to his place. He stopped in front of his place, turning his body to face me.

“Please come inside with me.”

“Why, so you can use me again?” I whispered, my voice raspy after all the yelling.

“I never used you. If I did, I would’ve removed your underwear when you tried to seduce me last night. I meant everything I said and fuck, I even kissed you. If I was using you, don’t you think I would’ve dropped you off at the docs so you can get stoned again?” I know what he says is true, but my brain refuses to accept this. I don’t want to feel any emotion. Emotions are the root of evil. The moment you let someone in, you’re living in fear of when that person will bail on you.

“Please let’s go inside.” He brushed his fingers over my stained cheeks. I’ve never cried so much as I did for the past freaking 24hours.