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Don't Judge Me
Last Updated:
2023-05-28 10:06:30
Rae KnightI hope you enjoyed the chapter and journal entries. I'm excited for you guys to read about Olive/Rose being back home.
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Olive's P.O.V. I felt antsy as I paced the room, knowing Ian would be coming here soon. I stared at my phone to see Lucas' contact. Why do I feel almost guilty for running into Ian? I didn't invite him over or initiate the conversation. Hell, I tried to get away. Olive: You won't believe who else I ran into today. I decided to text him about it. Then it won't feel like such a bad thing, right? My Knight: Hmm, let's see. A high school bully who saw you today, and questioned their life decisions? His answer made me let out a laugh. Olive: No, although, it would feel amazing to rub my life in some people's faces. I smiled as I texted. My Knight: I give up then, who did you run into? Olive: Ian. He was at the bookstore when I was spying on my dad's girlfriend. I sent the first message typing out the second when my phone started to vibrate in my hand. Lucas was calling me, no longer interested in texting about this…he wanted to talk. My heart raced with worry, making me feel like
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Olive's P.O.V. This stomach bug, won't seem to leave me. I guess I should be grateful that it isn't making me throw up all day long. My eyes were still sticky with sleep. I was exhausted, having stayed up late talking with Ian. We spoke in person till the sun set and then we texted almost all night. Lucas and I texted all night too. He didn't get much sleep. He said he needs me in his arms to get any semblance of sleep. I let him know how things went with Ian and he said he was happy for me. I don't know how true those words are though. I think it bothers him a little that we're friends again. I'm not sure, but I hope not. #1 Best Friend: Good morning, sleepy Red. If you're anything like teenage Red, then you're still asleep. In which case, I hope this wakes you 3:) Olive: Jokes on you, I am already awake :p I texted him back, feeling happy to have my first best friend back in my life. I feel somehow whole again. Olive: Good morning, my Knight. I hope you were able to get some s
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Lucas' P.O.V. **Song suggestion: Repeat Until Death by Novo Amor** Trigger Warning for topics of suicide. I was deep into her junior year. It had been complete misery for her. The bullying was relentless, and her home wasn't any better. She felt lost, depressed, and extremely lonely. She still worked with Joe, but she didn't count him as her friend, even though he was her only social interaction. My heart broke for her immensely. I can't imagine having to face everything she has been through by herself. Dear future me, If there even is a future me. I guess I should say dear future whoever is reading this. I've decided today is the last day I'm going to take the harassment at school. The last day I'll spar with dad and feel his fists on my torso. It's not worth it anymore. The ache in my chest has grown into a crater too big for me to handle. It has swallowed me whole, and immersed me in its darkness. There's no light here, no hope. I'm alone, bitterly and utterly alone. No on
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Olive's P.O.V.Ian's familiar Dutch colonial styled, white house with red shutters and bright red door came into view as I reached the end of the dirt road path. I missed this place with it's lush green grass, no matter the time of year, such soft grass you'd think you were walking on clouds. I parked, taking a deep breath, and calming my twirling stomach. I don't know why part of me was scared of entering that house. I was scared of the feelings it would stir inside me again. The want for a normal family, for the loving embrace of a nice family.I headed towards the door, knocking on the thick cold metal. I could hear Ian yelling "coming" as he approached the door. It swung open to reveal his tousled hair and kind smile. A smile that wrinkled the sides of his eyes in merriment. He was happy to see me."Welcome back to my humble abode." He gestured with his arm to come in. I stepped past him greeted by the toasty heat. Mrs. Daniels always kept it warm in here during the colder months.
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Olive's P.O.V. I spent the rest of my time in Ian's house with the thought gnawing away at me. Is there a baby growing in me right now? Am I going to have a baby the same age as my soon to be brother? What do I do? I had such a strong urge to run out of Ian's house, buy a test and pee over the damn stick. I wanted to know right now, right this very second. Instead I helped Caterina with dinner. I helped set the table up with Ian, and sat to eat with them, making small talk with Donald. It was a very pleasant evening. One I would have enjoyed a lot more if I wasn't worried about carrying another life in me. I found myself looking at my flat stomach with great curiosity. "What's up with you?" Ian asked me as we were clearing the table. "What do you mean?" "You seemed distracted all throughout dinner." I currently hate that he can still pick up on my emotions so easily. "I don't know what you mean." I shrugged my shoulders, meandering towards the kitchen. "Oh come on, Red, talk to
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Olive's P.O.V. **Song Suggestion as you read: I Get To Love You by Ruelle** Forcing my eyes to focus I saw Lucas' contact flash across my screen. I sleepily answered, pressing the cold glass of the screen against my face. "Hello?" "I'm here, Rose. What room are you in?" He asked quickly. I sat up so fast my head spun for a moment. "Room 2," I finally answered. I heard the phone go silent, seeing Lucas had hung up. I walked to my room door, opening it to see him making his way towards me. My eyes instantly watered at the sight of him. I missed him so much even though it had only been a couple of days. I couldn't help myself. I found my legs running towards him, and my arms crazily wrapping themselves around his neck. I held him tight as his arms hugged around my waist and pulled me close. He picked me up, allowing my legs to hook around his waist as he walked us towards my room. He closed the door behind him, laying me gently on the bed. His intense brown eyes looked down at
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Lucas' P.O.V. **Song Suggestion: The Story by Davis Naish**I have my Rose in my arms again. Her sweet scent chased away any and all sadness that had crept inside me in her absence. She was warm, perfect and somehow mine. She had calmed herself after a while. I hated to hear her cry, but something tells me it wasn't because she was sad.We're having a baby.I don't think I've ever gotten news that has elated me so much as I did today. Yes it's extremely early.. extremely. Who wouldn't be worried in this position? It's insane, yet I'm so excited. Picturing a child with Rose is something I can't stop doing now. I bet if it's a gril she'll have a sweet round face like Rose with those piercing blue eyes and fiery red hair. She'll have my nose and my lips, and maybe even my height.I can picture a little boy with my blonde hair, but with her curls and thickness. Of course, I keep hoping they'll have her eyes, maybe shaped like mine, but colored like hers. Whatever they come out looking li
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Olive’s P.O.V. “We have to wait until he leaves, and then we can go in through the back. There’s a window that never locked and I’m pretty sure he never fixed it,” I instructed Daisy and Lucas. Little David sat in Abi’s car seat in the back, peacefully sleeping while we adults felt like we’d received adrenaline shots. Joe had called me yesterday to tell me that Daisy had showed up at his door. She’d lost my number but remembered where he worked. She had David in one arm with the other cradled to her chest, broken. According to Joe, and now I see for myself, she had a black eye and a cut on her eyebrow. I know dad is going insane searching for her and David right now. I was glad that she didn’t leave David behind the way mom left me. Of course, David is only a small baby, and maybe that’s why she couldn’t leave him. I know it will complicate things, but since Joe took her to the police station to press charges, it will make things easier on the David custody front. Lucas is hiring on
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Olive’s P.O.V. **Song Suggestion: To Build A Home by Holly Henry** “Can I open my eyes yet?” I asked Lucas, feeling so impatient. I wanted to know what this surprise was. When we arrived home from our honeymoon, he said we had one stop before we were going to get Abi. I was ready to see my daughter, but he said this couldn’t wait. He tied a tie over my eyes. I’m pretty sure it was the tie he wore at the end of the aisle as he waited for me. I will forever remember that moment, when our eyes met and the rest of the world faded away. My husband. “Almost,” he said with his hands on my hips as he guided me. I could see cobble stone steps through the small slit left between my cheeks and the tie. Where are we? He finally stopped pushing me forward. I could feel him step around me and stand before me as he slid the tie off my face. My eyes squinted as they got reacquainted with the light. “I had this made for us when I found out you were pregnant. I used what I knew from your jou
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Olive's P.O.V. "You need to sit, Rose. The doctor said to sit and elevate your feet. You're starting to swell around your ankles again," Lucas reminded me as I waddled around the flat trying to get last minute things together. The bassinet was put together and sat beside the bed. The bottles were sanitized and put away already. All the clothes were washed, folded and organized. My hospital bag was ready to go, along with Abi's. I packed her the cutest take home outfit. I love all the frills, laces, and colors on little girl clothes. Of course, I bought a shit ton of bows that are way too large for her head, too. I have those neatly organized as well. I still feel like I'm forgetting something, or missing something, but I'm not sure what. Daisy had my baby brother a few months ago, and according to Joe everything is still going well. It made me wonder if Dad really had changed, but then I remembered that he's dad and it's only a matter of time until his ugliness resurfaces. I hope
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Lucas' P.O.V. I finally finished her journals from junior year of college. This was it. I was finally getting to her journals about me. At the beginning of all this, I wanted to only read the journals about me, but I'm glad that Rose made me work for it. I have such a better understanding of her now that I've read her innermost thoughts about her past. She was a cherry tomato red as she handed me these journals this morning. She asked that I not read them while she's awake. Her embarrassment was adorable, but completely unnecessary. She was currently asleep beside me, lightly snoring with her peacefully beautiful face. Rose is tired from interviewing around town, trying to find an engineering job for experience until the place she really wants is hiring again. I wanted to use my connections to help her, but she told me if I did, she’d be really mad at me. She wants to get her job from her own hard work. I find it very noble, but I wish she’d let me help. I placed my hand over our Ab
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Olive's P.O.V.Olive: You're coming to my graduation, right?#1 Best Friend: I wouldn't miss it for the world.Ian's reply made me feel better. He and I hadn't spoken much since Christmas. I know he meant it when he said we were still friends, but he needed time to get over me. We text every now and then but it wasn't daily like it had been before Christmas. It made me a bit sad, but I know it's for the best.Hailey on the other hand, texts and calls multiple times a day and drops by every other day with something new. Yesterday it was a little red bracelet that looked like it was made of yarn. I'm meant to put this on our child when she's born. Hailey made me swear, so I did."I've been thinking a lot about what we should name our little Rose bud," Lucas said, as he rubbed his hands over my growing baby bump. He'd been reading my junior year journal of college. He's just a couple of journals away from the one he's been desperately wanting to read…his journal."Okay, what have you come
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Olive's P.O.V. The morning sickness has been easing as time passes. I wake every morning and stare at the now outdated ultrasound pictures. Today we are going to a ultrasound place that does gender reveals. We'll get to see our little bean again. I wonder what it'll be? Boy or girl. "I can't wait to see my little bud again." Lucas smiled at me. I nodded, leaning against him, feeling the same excitement. "What do you think, boy or girl?" I asked him. "Girl. She'll be my little Rose bud." He nodded looking only at the ultrasound picture held onto the fridge by an old floral magnet. "I say Boy. He'd be my little knight," I countered with a smile. We walked hand in hand towards the shop that does the gender reveal. The place felt like an overly decorated doctor's office with pink and gold frills. They seemed to want to freeze their clients stiff as I froze my ass off waiting to be called. Lucas held me close, providing me with some warmth. About 15 minutes later we were called to f
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Lucas' P.O.V. Christmas was more than I could have asked for. She had said yes, and despite Dad's threats, I've been on cloud nine ever since. I need to get back to work before Dad discovers I'm trying to marry Rose. I get the feeling he'd try to stop it by any and all means necessary. He doesn't need to know until it's done and over with. I won't put Rose, or my bud, through any unnecessary stress. "Good morning, my future wife." I kissed her forehead as I woke her. She says she's not a sleepyhead, but she most definitely is. "Today's the day." Sleep evaded me last night, even with Rose in my arms. I was too excited for today. It's our first doctor's appointment for our bud. We'll get to see our growing baby on an ultrasound today, and be sure of Rose's due date. I've been giddy all night. "Today's the day." She smiled as her eyes opened. That had been the fastest she'd ever woken up, aside from the time she had to bolt to the bathroom to throw up. She is excited too. I can only
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Olive’s P.O.V.“Are you okay, my Rose?” Lucas asked as we finished cleaning up the place. Everyone was long gone now, but the evening was spectacular.“Yeah, I’m fine, just thinking,” I answered, grabbing a cup off the coffee table that had only been half drunk. The marshmallows had disappeared in the heat of the coco, leaving this sort of froth at the top.“What about?” He asked, taking the cup from my hands and washing it.“I think I need to read Ian’s letters,” I admitted, biting at my cheek. “I need to know what he said.”Lucas went silent, which only made me nervous. He turned the sink off, facing me. He dried his hands as he held my gaze. When he approached me, his eyes softened, feeling sympathy for me. He pulled me into a tight hug, kissing my forehead.“I’ll go see my mom for a little while. I am sure she’s still awake. Text me when you’re done,” he said, letting me go.“You don’t have to leave.”He shook his head no at me before speaking.“You should read them alone, Rose. I
