The only thing I was slowly starting to realize was that I was acting so much I sometimes didn't know who I was anymore. I had played this character for such a long time that I would find myself enjoying the looks of pain on their faces. I would find myself basking in their misery. Not a shred of guilt was present in my heart. And it was terrifying.Regret? I didn't regret anything. The people whose lives I had ruined deserved it and I won't stop until I get justice for her. Besides, the pain I was constantly going through was enough Karma. Not to mention this new dilemma Ryu put me in. I've seen Haruto and Toshiro naked countless times. I never got any reaction. He used his hand goddamn it. Just his hand and I'm a pathetic mess.I then noticed someone staring at me and turned sideways to see Dai. A small guy with a mop of dark hair, wearing hot pink pants and a white shirt. His nails were painted pink along with his lips. I immediately saw red.It was Dai, the only gay guy in school.
I stroked the flowers near her grave softly. They were red roses. Her favorite kind of flowers. I also brought some chocolates, skittles, and Pringles. Her favorite flavor. Sweet and sour onions. She used to hug me tight and shower me with kisses every time I bought her stuff. Earlier when she died, whenever I brought them to her grave, I would feel her presence around me. Peaceful, calm. Like she was finally free. I want to join her. I want to get out of this rotten world but not yet. I have to endure for while. I still have lives to ruin.I sat before her grave with everything sprawled out on the green grass. I hadn't touched a single one of the snacks. I couldn't. They were all her's."I miss you Aera" I sobbed, letting the hot tears flow down my cheeks. "I miss you a lot. Why did you leave me? I told you time and time again that I didn't do it. I would never hurt you. You know how much I love you and yet, you still left me. We could have worked things out. I could have protected
I woke up to see myself buried in thick blankets. I sat up, shoving them down to my waist as I rubbed my temples. My head hurt, my eyes felt heavy and my brain was muddled. I glanced at a clock on the nightstand. 11:04 pm.Wait. That didn't look like my alarm clock. I looked at the blankets. They weren't mine either. Fuck. What girl did I sleep with this time? I hope I used a condom. I just made fun of Hina a few days ago. I'm definitely not ready to be a father."You're awake," a deep voice said, startling me out of my thoughts. I gazed in the direction the voice came from and saw Ryu standing there with a tray of food. My stomach suddenly rumbled and I flushed, embarrassed at the situation. Ryu’s dark hair looked wet and it clung to his forehead and ears, giving his some part of a boyish look. He was wearing a pair of sweatpants and a deep blue shirt which accentuated his broad chiseled chest and sculpted arms. I remembered how they pinned my hands behind my back. How they touched
His eyes darkened when he saw my fingers hovering over the frame. "Go back to bed" I scoffed. "You don't tell me what to do". It looked like he didn't want me to see the picture. Well, I didn't care and reached out to pick it up but his hand slapped mine away before I could touch it.He was livid. Not a hint of playfulness on his face. "Go. Back. To. Bed" he instructed like I was a kid."I refuse. What are you hiding huh?" I asked. "Isn't it just a picture? Let me see""No. Are you always this nosy?""Are you always this secretive?" I fired backHe raised a brow. "That doesn't even make sense. I have every right to not show you. Now get back to bed" "Or what?" I challenged.He walked closer to me, suddenly wearing a devious smile, stopping only when our faces were a few inches apart. "I'll carry you to bed and we'll have a repeat of Saturday night". His hand touched my thigh and slowly moved upwards as he leaned close, whispering in my ear "This time, I won't stop. There's no time l
Of course, Ryu will not listen to me. I felt the bed dip which meant he was sitting next to me. I then felt his warm hand on my head, brushing my unruly hair away from my face so he could look at me but I refused to raise my head.He sighed. "Were you thinking about that game? When I- "Don't say it" I cut him off. I didn't want to hear words like 'jerked you off' or 'gave you a hand job'or ' turned you on' or 'made you cum'"It was just a game Aito. There's nothing to be ashamed about. You liked it. So what?"I raised my head at that. "So what? So what? Do you have any fucking idea what that means? What liking it implies? You're a man!"He then smiled. The kind of smile that took my breath away and lighted up his eyes. "I told you before. Pleasure is pleasure. It doesn't matter if a man or a woman makes you feel it"I mentally scoffed. It certainly matters when I can't jerk myself off no matter how hard I try. It certainly matters when I keep thinking about you, you shithead.
My most recent episode was the one caused by Ryu but it wasn't extreme so I didn't need to mention it. Things weren't the least bit better between us. In fact, when morning came and he gave me my dry uniform and belongings, I hightailed it out of there and flagged a taxi and went to school. I didn't even turn to see the look on his face.Actually, seeing Ryu in the morning, dressed in nothing but boxers, his full sculpted torso on display, did all sorts of things to my body and heart. I felt a strong need to trace those abs. I wanted him to hold me. I wanted him to kiss me again and damn, I would have actually done something if I didn't leave.Now when we pass each other in the halls, I immediately look away, determined to not have any sort of contact with him whatsoever. If I did, he'll destroy whatever sanity I have left. "I can see you're happy Aito," Dr Desai said, interrupting my thoughts. "Keep taking those drugs and notify me once you run out. We'll take a break to see your pr
School was over. It was finally time for the meeting and I was walking to the principal's office when Ryu approached me. Oh, God. Not again. I had successfully avoided him for days.His navy blue jacket was draped over his left shoulder, sleeves of his white shirt pulled up to reveal those strong arms. Both hands were in his pockets and he stood before me, looking handsome as ever. His hair was ruffled, a few naughty strands caressing his upper cheeks and nose. My fingers twitched as I felt the urge to tuck them behind his ear.Fuck. There I go again. Imagining things I shouldn't imagine happening between men."What do you want?" I asked, trying to look calm. As if his presence didn't affect me. They say out of sight, out of mind. It worked for a while as my mind had been occupied with Miss Park's demise. Now, that gentle sweet kiss kept invading my senses. The softness of his lips. His moist warm tongue. His enchanting scent. Shit shit shit. What are you doing to me, Ryu? Why you? W
"I heard people get ra*ed in there," Sakura said, drawing me out of my thoughts. "You think it'll happen to her too?"Yua shrugged. "Most likely. Unless she gets someone's protection""I doubt it," Toshiro said. "She knows nobody. She's small and she looks innocent. She's fresh meat. They'll all want a piece of her. Miss Park is fucked. End of story. Can we shift to a better topic now? This shit is depressing and we're supposed to be celebrating. Cheering our Aito up"Yua and Sakura looked guilty for neglecting me. Whatever. Nothing is going to ruin my good mood."Sorry Aito-kun," Yua said, rubbing my shoulder with her perfectly manicured hand. "How are you feeling?"I shrugged. "Kinda good. I'm glad the whole shit is over. I can go back to my normal life"Toshiro cheered. "Yeah!! I heard Juro saying that he's gonna throw a party on Saturday night. Let's go and get wasted"Haruto rolled his eyes. "Make sure you don't fuck without a condom, Toshiro-kun. No kid is ready to have you as a
Mr Igarashi was enraged. "What do you think you're doing, Ryuho?". He tried to remove his hand but Ryu just held it tighter."You can't kill him father" he answered and the hope that had been been extinguished in me was ignited once again.Tears of joy ran down my face. Ryu stopped him. Ryu stopped him!Does this mean Ryu couldn't bear to see me dead? Does this mean he had even a sliver of feelings for me? Does this mean we still had a chance?"Ryuho, what are you doing?" Tobio asked as he stepped up. "Let go""Oh you shut up" Kaito snapped, pulling Tobio back. Tobio tried to break free but Yasu grabbed him by the collar and held him in place."Stay here like a good boy" he said, patting Tobio's hair. "Do not interfere between father and son""Let go of me this instant!" Mr Igarashi commanded, trying but failing to free himself. "What the fuck has gotten into you? Don't tell me his little speech has softened you. Or have you developed some kind of feelings for him?"My hope burned br
At my question, Mr Igarashi finally released me then stood straight. He stayed there until he slowed his breathing and schooled his expression. "What do I want from you?" he asked then laughed. He raised a hand then patted my hair. "Ah, I want so many things from you Aito. I want to see you in pain. On one hand, I just want to fucking kill you right now and on the other, I want to torture you till you beg for death. I want you to suffer like my daughter suffered""No! Aito has suffered enough!" Yua wailed. "D-Don't hurt him anymore! I-It wasn't him. It was us. It was Sakura and I that hurt her the most out of jealousy. Aito even tried to protect her. He-""Silence!" Mr Igarashi snapped and she immediately shut her mouth. "You think he's the only one I'm going to punish? I'm coming for you sweetheart. Don't worry" Yua visibly paled as she shrunk back, as if her presence would be hidden from him by doing that."You know, that friend of yours, Sakura, is very lucky" he said, meeting my
To say I was shocked would be an understatement. That sudden information slapped the life out of me. I was frozen still and I couldn't even breath. The entire room was deathly still and felt like air didn't even exist. My ears were muffled by the erratic beating of my own heart. It was so fast and so painful that I wanted to pass out.Mr Igarashi... is... Aera's father?..."So you see," Mr Igarashi continued, like he hadn't just dropped a bomb. I don't know if it was due to my pounding heartbeat that flooded my ears but his voice sounded far away and a bit distorted. "It isn't just Ryuho who wants revenge for what you did to his parents. I also want revenge for what you did to my daughter!""H-How can it be?" Toshiro stuttered. The fear in his voice was evident. "H-How can you be her father?"Mr Igarashi chuckled lowly. "Due to issues you don't need to know, we got divorced and although I loved my daughter immensely, I let my ex-wife get the custody. They both left me and settled do
"Stop using him!" my dad gritted. "We all know that he's not really your son!"Wait what? I looked at Ryu but he was glaring at my parents. I glanced at everyone just to see that only Yua and I were shocked.Tobio, Yasu, Kaito, Toshiro, my mum and dad all seemed normal. Like they knew about it already. Wait, were Yasu and Kaito in on this too? Were they pretending to be on my side?Mr Igarashi looked amused. "Oh really? And how do you know that I'm not his real father?""Because I knew his real father. He looks nothing like you but looks exactly like Mr Gotou!""Then why is he calling me his father? Where is Mr Gotou?""He-" Dad began but stopped abruptly then went silent. He lowered his head and refused to speak."He what, Dad?" I asked. I wanted to know. I was tired of all the secrets. "I want to know everything. What are you all hiding?""Will you tell him or should I?" Mr Igarashi asked.Dad glared at him but still refused to speak. If Mr Igarashi wasn't Ryu's real father, it on
My eyes widened in shock. He'll be mine? Ryu will be mine? Could he really do that? I gazed at him questionably for I couldn't believe it. Still, it didn't stop my heart from fluttering. "A-Are you serious?""Aito!" Toshiro snapped. "Are you fucking serious right now? He's lying to you. Don't fall for it!""I give you my word Aito" Mr Igarashi said. "I never go back on my word""What do you want?" I asked. I could already see the future. To be with Ryu..."Aito!" Dad roared. "Aito stop this!""Aito, listen to your dad" Yua said. "Don't betray us like this""What do you want?" I asked again, pretending like I couldn't hear them.For the first time, Mr Igarashi gave a genuine smile. "All I need is the passcode to their study and I want you to open the laptops inside. I'm sure you know the passcodes too"I nodded. "I know everything"My dad, Toshiro and Yua started to shout, trying to convince me not to agree. Not to listen.But I wanted Ryu. I deeply love Ryu. After everything, how co
Those words were like sharp knives, slashing open my heart. Tears poured down my cheeks like a waterfall. I felt utterly humiliated and worthless. "Ryu...""Don't say my name" he snapped. "You don't deserve to say it""You fucker!" Toshiro shouted, twisting and turning on the floor, trying to untie himself. "What kind of person are you! Leave Aito alone and come fight me. I'll beat the shit out of you! I'll make you pay for this!""Shut up!" Tobio snapped, sending a kick to Toshiro's gut. "Shut the fuck up!"Toshiro coughed, scrunching his face in pain. Still, he didn't give up. "Cowards! You two are fucking cowards!"I felt so disappointed and ashamed of myself. Toshiro had told me so many times. Even Dr Desai too. But I refused to listen to any of them. I defended Ryu fiercely. In my heart, I believed I was loved by him. I believed I was his priority.And now... I chuckled. My pathetic situation was even funny to me now. I started to laugh, drawing their attention but I didn't care.
I was stunned."W-What..."Ryu retracted his hands and took a step back. "When have I ever told you that I love you Aito?" he asked. "Think about it carefully. Have I ever told you those three words?"I raked my brain as hard and as fast as I could, thinking back on all the moments we've shared, all the times we've been together, and I couldn't come up with a single time he said the words 'I love you'. I couldn't remember Ryu telling me that he loves me. Not even once. Instead, I could hear myself repeating them over and over and over again to Ryu.Knowing that not once has he ever said those words to me made me weak. I felt like there was no energy in my body. As if my very life was seeping away.Then what about the intimate moments we shared? The kisses, the hugs, the looks of affection, the possessiveness, how he protected me, the concern he showed me, what were all that? What have we been doing?"I haven't right?" he asked with a smile. But the smile wasn't a smile. It was just a
The picture frame crashed to the ground, emitting a loud crack sound, indicating that the glass had broken. I watched as the cold look in Ryu's eyes changed to that of fear and concern then he rushed into the room. At first I thought he was going to hug me or something but to my great disappointment, Ryu knelt on the wooden floor and gingerly picked up the broken frame. He held it in his hands as if it was some delicate fragile object.His head was bent low so I couldn't see his expression. He remained in that position for a few seconds, staring at the picture behind the shattered glass and at that moment, so many thoughts rushed into my head.Why did Ryu have Aera's picture? What was the connection? What did this all mean?Those questions flew out of my head though for Ryu suddenly raised his head and the way he looked at me made me stumble backwards in shock and fear."R-Ryu..." I whispered, not believing that he could actually stare at me like that.He was glaring at me like I was
I pushed that question to the very back of my mind as I was about to enter Ryu's room but stoped when I saw a stream of light coming from his mum's room. The door was slightly ajar and I began to panic. Does this mean his mum was home??? Fuck! I was so used to never seeing that door open that I didn't even remember that he doesn't live alone. No wonder he left the front door open. How could he lock his mum inside? I held my breath and waited for a while but I didn't hear any sounds. Huh, maybe she was asleep. I quietly walked to the door and peeped through the small space. You can't blame me though. I was very curious for I had never seen his mum before. I visit Ryu a lot but not once did his mother and I ever meet. My eyes swept through the small room and I was confused to find no one there. Oh well. Maybe she was in the bathroom. I was about to leave when my eye caught something strange. There were stuff like papers littered all over the bed. Oh wait, they weren't papers. Maybe p