Sophia felt on top of the world Monday morning when she rode to work with James. Optimism, an alien concept to her until now, simmered in her mind.So she hadn’t been able to make love to him without him being tied to the bed. Yet. But they had made love! That was a huge step for her.She was . . . happy. When was the last time she could say that and really mean it? Her old version of happiness was merely a shell, a code word for simply existing. It wasn’t until she got involved with James that she realized just how much of her life was passing her by while she kept her head firmly in the sand.The weekend had been utter bliss. They hadn’t made love again since Friday night, and both seemed reluctant to push too hard and too fast, but the intimacy had grown around them to such an extent that she knew it wouldn’t be long before they took the plunge again.And maybe this time she’d pluck up the courage not to tie him up for the act.She’d been worried about him after he’d confided about
“I do miss him,” she said, a small ache in her chest. “But just like Sandra did, I have to let him go. I can’t stop living my life just because he lost his.”“I’m glad to hear you say that, honey. Clement would have wanted you to be happy first and foremost.”“I know,” she said quietly. “And I’m trying. I’ll get there eventually.”James stuck his head in the door, a slight frown on his face as his gaze swept over Derrick.“Am I missing something? What are you doing in Sophia’s office?”Derrick rolled his eyes. “We were talking. You know, having a conversation? Something coworkers frequently do on the job.”James looked suspiciously at him and Sophia grinned, thrilled with the possessiveness that shone in James’s eyes. It was absurd for him to get touchy over Derrick being in her office. The man was very happily married to her best friend. But still, she didn’t mind that James had obviously staked his claim.“I was telling her that Sandra wants you both to come over this Friday night,”
She really had to put a lid on her overactive imagination. Karla needed support. Not validation for her suspicions.With a grimace, Ken rose, glancing down the table at Derrick.“Can you run Karla home afterward?” he asked. “I don’t know how long this will take.”Sorrow swamped Karla’s eyes. How could Ken not see how much he was hurting her? Could he really be that oblivious? Everyone else saw it. Even James studied him with a frown, his gaze swinging back and forth between him and Karla. There was concern in James’s eyes for her and irritation for Ken.“Of course,” Derrick said, though he was frowning too. “Don’t worry. Sandra and I will see her home.”“Thanks, man,” Ken said. Then he leaned down and brushed his lips over Karla’s forehead. And lightly caressed one cheek with his hand. “Don’t wait up for me, darlin’.”Then he strode away leaving Karla staring down at her plate.The silence after his departure was pronounced and awkward. When Karla did look up, there was humiliation in
While her experience might be limited, she did know the difference between mindless sex and actually making love. It was silly of her to be having this argument, or rather, discussion with herself. The old her wasn’t into self-reflection or analysis and she certainly had never entertained the idea of making love.And yet that was absolutely the right description for the intimacy she and James had created. Sex was . . . Well, it was sex. Nothing more, nothing less. Making love involved so much more. Trust. Mutual respect. And well, love.“You’re quiet, baby.”She glanced over to see James give her a sideways glance as he turned into their neighborhood.“Anything wrong?” he asked.“Not at all,” she said with a wry smile. “I was pondering the differences between having sex and making love.”One of his eyebrows went up. “Do tell. This sounds like an interesting conversation you were having with yourself.”She laughed. “I’m being silly and philosophical all at the same time.”“And? Are you
“But the kind of revenge Clement wanted wasn’t the kind that would land you in jail on a manslaughter charge. He wouldn’t have risked his marriage to Sandra. He wanted to see if our father was living well because he wanted to ruin him. He wanted to take away everything he had, if he had anything at all. And he wanted our father to know who ruined him and why.”“I disagree that he shouldn’t have given you the information,” James murmured. “It was your right and you wouldn’t have done anything stupid. What Clement was negligent in realizing is that you might have gained some closure if you knew he wasn’t a threat to you any longer.”She frowned. “I hadn’t thought about it that way. I think it’s the uncertainty that gets to me sometimes. Like I’m afraid he’ll pop up out of the blue. He could be dead by now for all I know.”“I could find out for you if you ever truly wanted to know,” James said quietly.She froze, a curl of fear winding its way through her chest.“Maybe one day,” she hedg
Sophia rose shakily on her feet. She still wouldn’t look at him, something he was glad for. He had enough regret for both of them.He got into the driver’s seat as she slid in on the passenger side. The drive to her house was silent, the quiet oppressive and stifling. With every minute that ticked by his sorrow and self-loathing grew until he was certain he would be consumed with it.He finally pulled into Sophia’s driveway. He got out and headed to his trunk to retrieve all of her things. Stuff she’d brought to his house. Stuff he’d gotten used to being strewn all over his house.He set everything inside her door, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. When he turned to go back to his car he nearly collided with Sophia. He put his hands on her shoulders to steady her and she wrenched herself from his grasp.With a sigh, he headed toward his car, turning his back on her for good.“I would have never given up on us like you’re doing,” she called out.He stopped in his tr
Sophia smiled, some of the weight shifting from her heart.I’ve got it covered. Just get over here!She punched in her response and hit Send.I’m on my way. Twenty minutes, depending on traffic.She grabbed her keys, downed the last of her coffee and then headed for the door.She was terrified. She wouldn’t lie to herself about that. The idea of pouring out all of her despair to anyone made her stomach tighten. But she had to remember her promise to herself about being more open with her friends. Her best friends. They weren’t just anyone. They were special.She drove in tense silence. She’d nearly put her fist through the dash when one of those sappy breakup songs started playing on her satellite radio. Silence, however unbearable, was still preferable to listening to her problems being sung in real time.Twenty-two interminable minutes later, Sophia pulled into Sandra’s driveway and sat there a long moment, mustering the courage to go in. If she didn’t get out soon, Karla and Sandra
“I’m confused,” Karla said. “But that could just be the alcohol talking. You’re going to have to explain, hon. I’m a little stupid when I’m drinking.”Sandra and Sophia both chuckled.“He made this big deal out of me tying him to the bed when we make love. So I’d know he couldn’t hurt me. So I’d know I was safe. Okay, so the reason he dumped me, or at least the reason he gave me for dumping me, was because he was afraid of hurting me. So if I tie him to the bed while he’s asleep and he has a nightmare, voila! He can’t touch me,” she said smugly.“You’re a fucking genius,” Karla said in admiration.“I’ll drink to that,” Sandra said.“Uh, maybe we should let up on the alcohol,” Karla advised.“Yeah, I have to sober up now,” Sophia said.“How come?” Sandra asked.Sophia pushed herself upward again, holding herself up with one hand so she didn’t keel over onto Karla.“Because when I sober up, I’m going over to his house. If he thinks he can just dump me for my own good and make me miserab