It was becoming increasingly difficult to breathe.Every single moment Kylo entered the room, I had this sensation of constriction in my thorax. Not due to the fact that I did not want him there, but rather because I did want him there.The realization became worse with every passing day knowing that holding on to those passionate emotions would result in more agony once our affair came to an end.I needed to distance myself, to protect what little was left of my heart. But Kylo was making it impossible. Every gentle smile, every lingering touch, every fleeting kiss made me want to believe that there was more to this than a contract.That maybe, somehow, he felt the same way I did. But I couldn't allow myself to be fooled by hope.Our contract was still there, a quiet shadow that never left my mind. It loomed over every moment, every interaction, reminding me that whatever tenderness I was seeing from Kylo was temporary.Today was no different. Kylo had come home earlier than usual. H
KYLO’S POVUntil now, I have never realized that silence could be extremely loud.Varya had been rather shy, but when I came back from a business trip, she was distant, as if she created an impenetrable barrier for herself. She smiled less. Spoke even less. And when she did speak her manner was confined, as if she did not want to expose herself or say too much. It was maddening.We had come so far—there had been moments when I felt that we were close to attaining something real. But now she was a stranger, and as distant as if she had shut herself up in a room beyond my access.I stood at the other side of the room and looked at her, her back turned towards me, she was gazing at the window. She was totally unaware of my presence, but all I could do was watch her.How her shoulders tensed, how she folded her hands in front of her, how her fingers incessantly twirled—she looked beyond uneasy. And it was my fault. I could not just sit idly and feel that I had let something slip off my ha
VARYA’S POVKylo’s words haunted me long after they left his lips. "I'm not leaving here."He spoke with such assurance and conviction that I really wanted to believe him. But despite my best efforts, I was unable to.How was I able to?I sat looking down at my hands from the edge of our bed. The space gave me the impression that I was invading someone else's life even while it seemed strange and familiar at the same time. My heart raced thinking of last night—the intimacy and passion—but doubt was always there too.Despite Kylo's increased attentiveness and compassion, I still felt as though I was precariously close to the edge. The contract was set to end in just a month.One month. What happens then? Would all these tender moments vanish into thin air, as if they never existed? Would Kylo revert back to the distant, business-focused man I had first married? Would I be able to handle it if he did?I wasn’t sure. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore.When he had held me so tightly last
As I sit at my desk, the office buzzes around me, but I’m lost in thought. For weeks, Kylo has been different. His touches lingered longer, his kisses were deeper, and his smiles—real smiles—became more frequent.But I couldn't bring myself to accept those moments fully. My mind kept reminding me that our contract would end in just a month, and no amount of affection could change that. I had kept my guard up, knowing that there was no future beyond this temporary arrangement.But today, something shifted.I’m scanning through emails when I overhear hushed whispers at the far end of the room. The office gossip has been a constant background noise, something I’ve learned to block out. Yet, a word catches my attention, Kylo.My heart races, and I tilt my head slightly, pretending to still be focused on my computer, while my ears tune in. They are new employees and don’t know my relationship with Kylo.“...the model, I swear I saw them together last night. They looked cozy,” one voice say
KYLO’S POVAfter a demanding day of meetings, I sat by myself in my office and couldn't get rid of the gnawing sensation that had been there for weeks. The chilly, deserted office seemed to mirror my own inner feeling of being alone, unsure, and completely empty. The quiet moments between tasks were becoming unbearable, and there was no escaping the persistent thoughts of Varya.It wasn’t just that our contract was about to end—though that weighed heavily on me as well—it was the way she had become distant again.The soft looks we once shared, the tentative warmth that had begun to grow between us, all seemed to vanish the moment I returned from my trip.She was slipping away from me.I stood and paced around the room, trying to focus on something, anything else. But all my thoughts drifted back to her.The way her eyes had once softened when I kissed her in public, the small smile that used to play on her lips when she thought I wasn’t looking—all of that seemed to have disappeared
There was no one in bed when I awoke; it felt so lonely without Varya beside me. It crossed my mind that she might have woken up earlier than usual – probably busy doing something mundane around the house.Still drowsy, I sat up only to realize how oppressive it felt to my breath. The silence filled my surroundings with an uninviting air.I took a look at the clock—7:00 am—later than normal. She ought to be here with me now. Rubbing my face in manual labor fashion, I shouted out her name but it sounded too loud for an empty room like this one and fell flat from a mouth deprived of hope.With that, I jumped out of bed and went wandering through our home calling for her again along corridors and rooms of living space. Nothing. The kitchen was empty, the living room untouched.No sign of her anywhere. A cold realization began to sink in. I returned to the bedroom and checked her closet—half of her clothes were gone.She had left.I stared at the empty space where her clothes used to hang
Hazy city lights were all I saw as I staggered out of the bar after the burn of whiskey had clung to my throat. I was drunk but not like the one who felt invincible; instead, I was more like a drowning man trapped in his own thoughts he wanted to escape from.Wading through thick fog felt like taking each step with rotten legs made heavy by alcohol and regret.There waiting for me was Eric; my driver. He said something maybe it was my name or anything bordering on help to get into the car but all this reached no ears as only the sound of my echoed thoughts filled up that drunken mind mess.Varya was there again pulsating through my veins like some strange rhythm reminding me of what love feels best who hurt most at birthdays and anniversaries; her absence stung so deeply past all clouds made up from drinking until one forgets about everything attractive just because they would have brought them too close again you see?All those memories remained facing you sharply hence left raw/fray
I’d never been good at admitting failure, especially not to my grandfather. He was a strong man, a successful man who would never allow himself to exhibit any sign of weakness before anybody. I was raised under his greatness and tried my best to be like him and make him proud.Right now though, there is one reality that I have been avoiding for so long; Varya is no longer mine. Now, I needed to inform this heartbreaking news to my father without having the faintest idea of what to tell him.The drive to my grandfather’s home seemed longer than normal. These days, I barely visited him at all. All along, I’ve always had some excuses for instance work engagements or meetings, and presently the whole thing with Varya.However, as I drove towards his place finally, the weight of everything that I had been hiding from him fell heavily upon me. I wondered what he would say if I told him that Varya was no longer there.How about informing him she had walked away despite his faith in marriage