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SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST
SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST
Penulis: Vivian Anna

TEASER/ PROLOGUE.

Penulis: Vivian Anna
last update Terakhir Diperbarui: 2024-10-29 19:42:56

This wasn't the fate that was meant for me, but I was made to believe it was. It wasn't the path I choose either. I guess luck wasn't on my side, it threw me away like that of an abandoned puppy who has nowhere to go.

It wasn't my fault as I was left with no other choice, they took what I cherished and nurtured the most from me and made me this way. Some might say I'm stupid or I made myself this way, or rather call me a shameless woman left without a single pride. The day I had chosen this path, I never wanted to turn back because I couldn't understand why everything started at first. I never wanted to return and turn a new leaf and I knew I would end up becoming worse, but I didn't prepare for death. Maybe this was my fate and I chose to completely listen to the devil and request his advice on daily occurrences.

My dear mother I lost to the cold hands of death, and later my dearest brother joined. I was left with only my father who believed that training a female child was something hard to do and therefore I was sealed from the outside world to make his life easier and make mine harder.

Maybe because of my father, I never got to know how dangerous the world was, I never knew how to protect myself in a world like that because I never got to see such a world. Just like my life, my heart was filled with darkness and nevertheless I loved my father so much without questioning him. And it all started the day I was decieved, that was the day it all started.

No one came to my rescue that night no matter how much I screamed, no matter how much I pleaded, their heart failed to listen to my cries, and finally, when they were all done, I was left on the stony ground beside an abandoned building to heal and cry as much as I wanted.

From a princess in a wealthy home to a sex worker, a drug dealer, a prisoner, a heart breaker, a gold digger, a waitress, a sex addict, and finally on my last day a foolish mother who was about to leave her little angel all alone.

I couldn't thank Roland enough for accepting me the way I was, for never judging me with my past and shattered heart. And trying to heal my shattered heart. I never thought that I deserved such a man in my life after everything I did to myself. He never cared about my past and chose to stay by my side. I wanted to get married as soon as possible but I couldn't either untill he suggested a way. How I met Roland is also a very important part of my life, a part I wanted to hold dear to my heart till I take my last breath.

I had promised myself never to regret my past and be strong if not for anyone, but Roland, and I was about forgiving my dad who was the cause of everything I faced in life, but the moment I set my eyes on my beautiful daughter, my angel, and world... A deep feeling of shame and regrets crept and ate deep into my soul and shattered me more as I recalled my dark past.

Right on my death bed, I decided I wanted to become a married woman before I would finally leave the world.

And just 28 hours to my last day, the day my daughter was to turn a week old, I took out a pen and began writing my story. Maybe people would be able to see and understand my reason. But at the end of it all I never wanted to make younger girls out there be like me, a disgusting and shameless mother.

My greatest fear after my dark past was letting my daughter learn of what her careless mother had done in the past. I wasn't going to be there to explain myself to her but I hope my book represent me and my regretful feeling.

I wish to let the whole world know my story, I don't ever want to be judged wrongly and most importantly I write to my father first before anyone else.

This is my story.

Copyright ©️ 2022 Vivian Anna.

All right reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by an means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotation embodied in critical reviews and certain non commercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission request, write to the publisher.

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  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 01. " Goodbye, mummy I "

    Morris and I waited at home while mom was being taken to the hospital by the gardener and our driver. A while ago, she had been okay and neither Morris nor I could tell if anything was actually wrong with her. Part of my mother's strength came from a deep faith in God and the love she had for me and Morris, and perhaps just as much from her innate ability to inspire Morris and me to know she meant every word she said.Our growing up with a father was a hectic one, but unlike Morris, I loved dad so much and gave him most of my attention whenever he was at home.Morris wanted to follow behind, but I stopped him from taking another step further. I couldn't bear to be at home all by myself as it was too scary for a young child like me. Morris shoved my hands away from his, but I held them back, this time more tightly, and wasn't willing to let go." If you're going, then take me along," I said to Morris my tiny voice mixed with authority even though I knew he wasn't going to listen to me.

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 02. " Goodbye Mommy II "

    The next morning was a Sunday. I only woke up to find myself on my bed covered properly and a tray of bread with fried eggs laid on the small table at the center of my room. You would say dad loves me so much and gave my room the best design. I never got to lack anything and I had a heap of toys in a store room still in my room. Everything I ever wanted even those I didn't need was provided and I didn't see any reason why I should feel sad or unsatisfied. I yawned stretching both my hands and God I had completely forgotten about mom for just a second when I woke up. I badly wanted to see dad again, but I was sure he would be out of the house by now and it pained me most that I didn't get to see his face last night. My door opened and Mrs. Roseline walked in carrying a small jug of water along with her. " Good morning Mrs. Roseline" I greeted and sat up straight to eat my meal. Even though I was born in a rich home, Morris and I were never spoilt. We had so much respect for elders

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 03 " Goodbye, Mommy III "

    A nine years old girl was supposed to know everything right? But I don't think so. One would say I was so stupid for leaving out my mom in my life, especially for letting her take just a little place in my heart, unlike my dad who took a massive part. When people hear/ read my story, I might be marked the foolish kid and Morris the good kid, but I was nothing like that. I loved my mom so much, no I did love all of my family but I only gave dad exceptional love and I was sure he loved me back even more than the much love I had for him.Dad and I were what you would call inseparable and we couldn't do without each other but even as much as dad loved me, I wanted him to love Morris just the same." Where is my momma?" I asked Mrs. Roseline, my eyes teary as I looked at Morris and my dad. I wanted to go meet dad and ask him too, but for the first time, I was scared of him. His eyes were terrifying and so red that I couldn't go and when I heard Morris say he killed my Mom, I wanted to ful

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 04

    Alexa POV.I haven’t seen so many people at our house before, it felt so surreal. They were all dressed in black suits and came back home with us in their various cars. When we got home, Mrs. Roseline had already made some food and the aroma made my stomach growl. I went straight to the kitchen, Mrs. Roseline understood because she was already putting some snacks on a plate for me. “Thank you Mrs. Roseline,” I said as she handed it to me.I walked out of the kitchen and I put a big muffin in my mouth and it tasted so delicious. As I was about to take the last turn out of the hallway, I heard some ladies whispering, they were talking about how my mom abandoned her children at such a young age. But I didn’t want to believe their lies, mom would never abandon Morris and I.The plate on my hand fell because I lost my appetite. I immediately ran in search of my dad, to ask him about what those people were saying, but both my dad and Morris were nowhere to be found. I headed to my dad’s ho

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 05

    Alexa POV.This last week has been painful. After I read that note from Morris, I ran to his room to find him, but I noticed some of his things were missing. I remember running down to the kitchen to look for Mrs. Roseline, and asking her if she saw Morris leave, but she only stared at me confused.I showed her the note he left me and after she read it, we both started crying and hugged each other. She tried giving me food that day but I just couldn’t eat. It was not easy to wrap my head around what was happening, how I thought Morris was already warming up to me but he ended up abandoning me just like mum. I remember Mrs. Roseline calling my dad and telling him about what was happening, but he just shunned her and told her he was busy and would be back sometime this week. He hasn’t been back since the day I heard him on the phone in his home office. I had to go to school last week, hoping to wake up from this nightmare but anytime I come back home I always come back to an empty hous

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 06

    Alexa POV.I remember the day I made my first friend. I was looking up the closest investigator nearby when I noticed someone walk up to my table in the library and take a seat opposite me.“Hi,” she said, looking me in the eyes. “Hello,” I replied dumbfounded. No one has ever spoken to me before except probably when they need me to excuse them or hand something over to them. I examine her. She has brown eyes, her nose is so perfect and her cheekbones, ohh they look so well curved. Her blonde hair is laying perfectly on her shoulder and she is putting on a black dress with a very bright shade of red lipstick.“I am Thelma.”“I a-am Alexa,” I responded breathlessly. My brain cells are screaming. I decided to calm down and not get ahead of myself.“Wanna hang out, there’s a frat party tonight?”“Hmmm, y-yess, n-noo, I have to get home today after school,” I reply painfully. The thought of my father finding out that I didn’t return home is scary. The new driver apparently has to report

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 07

    Leonardo POV.You don’t get to where I am without knowing exactly what you want and taking it by any means necessary. I took over the family business after my father passed away five years ago. Although it's all rosy now, I still have to look over my shoulders. I was studying abroad when I heard about my father's death in an explosion. His best friend, Don Caro of the Rossi Cartel was also killed which led to the death of both cartel’s Don.After my return, the other Dons tried to take over my father’s position as the Capo Dei Capi, The godfather, the boss of all bosses. That time was messy because there was blood on the streets. I hunted down every Don that could have a hand in my father's death or any Don who wanted to take his place and ended them. I stop the treadmill, breathless, and head down to the shower ready to start another day.By the time I was done, there was a mouthwatering aroma coming from the kitchen. I headed straight down and followed my nose to the kitchen. I al

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 08

    Alexa POV.It has been some days since I was drugged and kidnapped by someone who I called a friend. I remember waking up on the first day, disoriented and scared. I was bound by a rope on both my hands and legs to a pole. I try to remember what’s happened, the water, the water was poisoned. “Help, someone please help me!” I screamed.“Ohh would you shut up,” a voice said walking towards me.I tried adjusting my eyes in the dark so I could see clearly. It was Thelma, she looked different, more fierce.“Thelma, what’s wrong, where are we and why am I tied, what happened,”“Ohh Alexa, Alexa, you poor girl, I never thought you would be so stupid.”“I don’t understand what's going on, please Thelma, untie me so I can go home.”“My little princess, there is no going back,” she says with a smirk.“But you are my friend, why are you doing this?” I ask, beginning to realise I am in danger and the Thelma I know is gone.“Friend, friends?” she screams and throws her head back laughing.“My lov

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  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 12

    Leonardo POV.I have to leave here, get as far away from her as possible. I adjust my pants and pick up a key to my sports car and head down to the basement.“Did you change your mind?” Alberto says immediately he spots me.“Go up and protect her,” I say, staring him down.“I want to be alone, I will be back by morning, bring my brothers to the bunker,” “What about Carlo?”“I will handle that in the morning,” I say, stepping into the car. I get a message from Dante, “Enjoy your catch! My congratulations, can’t wait until the morning. Have fun ;) Ps. Drive her wide.” This pisses me further, the thought that I wasn’t going to spend the night with my new purchase. I tap the ignition and the engine growls, coming alive. The Audi R8 Spyder is my favourite. I drive down the empty streets and head to my favourite spot, the cemetery where my mum was buried. I lost my mum when I was ten years old, over seventeen years ago. Enzo and Dante were too young to remember her. I come here whenever I

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 11

    Leonardo POV.My eyes narrow on the brown haired bombshell up on stage and a feral growl rolls off my lips causing the men in the chairs closest to me to turn and shoot me a look.Mine. She. Is. Mine.I turn and give them a death stare, letting them know if they even think about bidding, I will unscrew their heads and fuck through it."Do I hear three million dollars," the announcer says.“Fifty million," I announce, standing up so the whole room knows just who they're fucking with if they're stupid enough to try and go over the top of me.The announcer clears her throat, disoriented.“Fifty million dollars, going once, going twice and sold!”The Circle prided itself on its exclusive, invite-only memberships for the underworld’s wealthiest and most powerful. A good number of those members, including myself, engaged in different illegal activities. I have heard tales of what these old Dons do to their slaves and I wouldn’t want them to breathe close to her. My Jewel. My Isabella. Mine.

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 10

    Alexa POV. Fifty million dollars, I was just sold for fifty million dollars. If someone would have told me that I would be happy to be sold for that amount of money, I would have spat in their face, but here I am happy that at least I was worth more than a mere thousand dollars. At least I wasn’t worth pennies. Whispers erupt from the other side, although I couldn’t see them, I bet they are also shocked at the extravagant amount I was paid for. The bodyguard standing by the door walks up to me and leads me to a door by my left. We enter a room filled with ladies, if eyes could kill, I bet I would be six feet’s under. They all stare at me like I just stole their treasure, eyeing me up and down and watching my every move.“Don’t mind them, they are just jealous,” a lady said from behind me. She walks up to me and hands me a dress to put on. “Jealous, why would they be jealous? I just lost my freedom, I was drugged and kidnapped, what could they be jealous about ?” I snap.“Your beau

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 09

    Leonardo POV.As I stare out the window, the familiar boredom seeps unwelcome into my consciousness. My mood is as flat as the weather. My days are blending together with no difference, and I need some kind of deviation. I've worked all day and now in the confines of my office, I'm restless.I frown, the annoying truth is that the only thing that captured my interest recently has been my decision to end the life of the man that tried to smuggle in a child with my shipment. This reminds me, Natalia, my secretary wassupposed to come back to me with logistics regarding my new purchase. What the hell iskeeping her?. I head back to my chair and go through the documents that require my signature.“Natalia, where are we with those logistics?” I say into the intercom.She knocks at the door and comes in with files. She hands me the documents and runs through my schedule for the day reminding me of Dante’s party tonight, well I could use the distraction. I head to the conference room for m

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 08

    Alexa POV.It has been some days since I was drugged and kidnapped by someone who I called a friend. I remember waking up on the first day, disoriented and scared. I was bound by a rope on both my hands and legs to a pole. I try to remember what’s happened, the water, the water was poisoned. “Help, someone please help me!” I screamed.“Ohh would you shut up,” a voice said walking towards me.I tried adjusting my eyes in the dark so I could see clearly. It was Thelma, she looked different, more fierce.“Thelma, what’s wrong, where are we and why am I tied, what happened,”“Ohh Alexa, Alexa, you poor girl, I never thought you would be so stupid.”“I don’t understand what's going on, please Thelma, untie me so I can go home.”“My little princess, there is no going back,” she says with a smirk.“But you are my friend, why are you doing this?” I ask, beginning to realise I am in danger and the Thelma I know is gone.“Friend, friends?” she screams and throws her head back laughing.“My lov

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 07

    Leonardo POV.You don’t get to where I am without knowing exactly what you want and taking it by any means necessary. I took over the family business after my father passed away five years ago. Although it's all rosy now, I still have to look over my shoulders. I was studying abroad when I heard about my father's death in an explosion. His best friend, Don Caro of the Rossi Cartel was also killed which led to the death of both cartel’s Don.After my return, the other Dons tried to take over my father’s position as the Capo Dei Capi, The godfather, the boss of all bosses. That time was messy because there was blood on the streets. I hunted down every Don that could have a hand in my father's death or any Don who wanted to take his place and ended them. I stop the treadmill, breathless, and head down to the shower ready to start another day.By the time I was done, there was a mouthwatering aroma coming from the kitchen. I headed straight down and followed my nose to the kitchen. I al

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 06

    Alexa POV.I remember the day I made my first friend. I was looking up the closest investigator nearby when I noticed someone walk up to my table in the library and take a seat opposite me.“Hi,” she said, looking me in the eyes. “Hello,” I replied dumbfounded. No one has ever spoken to me before except probably when they need me to excuse them or hand something over to them. I examine her. She has brown eyes, her nose is so perfect and her cheekbones, ohh they look so well curved. Her blonde hair is laying perfectly on her shoulder and she is putting on a black dress with a very bright shade of red lipstick.“I am Thelma.”“I a-am Alexa,” I responded breathlessly. My brain cells are screaming. I decided to calm down and not get ahead of myself.“Wanna hang out, there’s a frat party tonight?”“Hmmm, y-yess, n-noo, I have to get home today after school,” I reply painfully. The thought of my father finding out that I didn’t return home is scary. The new driver apparently has to report

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 05

    Alexa POV.This last week has been painful. After I read that note from Morris, I ran to his room to find him, but I noticed some of his things were missing. I remember running down to the kitchen to look for Mrs. Roseline, and asking her if she saw Morris leave, but she only stared at me confused.I showed her the note he left me and after she read it, we both started crying and hugged each other. She tried giving me food that day but I just couldn’t eat. It was not easy to wrap my head around what was happening, how I thought Morris was already warming up to me but he ended up abandoning me just like mum. I remember Mrs. Roseline calling my dad and telling him about what was happening, but he just shunned her and told her he was busy and would be back sometime this week. He hasn’t been back since the day I heard him on the phone in his home office. I had to go to school last week, hoping to wake up from this nightmare but anytime I come back home I always come back to an empty hous

  • SHATTERED -MY-DARK-PAST    Chapter 04

    Alexa POV.I haven’t seen so many people at our house before, it felt so surreal. They were all dressed in black suits and came back home with us in their various cars. When we got home, Mrs. Roseline had already made some food and the aroma made my stomach growl. I went straight to the kitchen, Mrs. Roseline understood because she was already putting some snacks on a plate for me. “Thank you Mrs. Roseline,” I said as she handed it to me.I walked out of the kitchen and I put a big muffin in my mouth and it tasted so delicious. As I was about to take the last turn out of the hallway, I heard some ladies whispering, they were talking about how my mom abandoned her children at such a young age. But I didn’t want to believe their lies, mom would never abandon Morris and I.The plate on my hand fell because I lost my appetite. I immediately ran in search of my dad, to ask him about what those people were saying, but both my dad and Morris were nowhere to be found. I headed to my dad’s ho

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