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19 You thought I was gay?
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2022-05-17 14:09:50Related chapters
SENSUAL SURRENDER 20 Fantasy becomes reality
I traced a finger around his lips. "Yep. And I was pissed at myself. Pissed at you because I wanted you so much. I've wanted you since we first talked in the club. Fantasized about you. There’s this…current between us. And something very familiar about you that tethers me to you. I...I can't explain it."Josh watched for a few seconds, unblinking. Then he smirked. "You fantasized about me?"Shyness suddenly crept over me. "Yes.""What was I doing in your fantasies?" he drawled, flashing me a wicked grin."Oiling baby chickens…"Josh broke into a laugh. "What?" "I’m kidding.” I smiled back at him. “You were doing things to me, Nelson. Things that I liked. Things that I loved. Feel-good things. Orgasmic things.""Like?"Touching my forefinger to my lips, I whispered, "You kissed me very gently, here."Josh brushed his soft lips against mine. "Like that?""Exactly like that." I breathed. "Then you let me taste your tongue."He kissed me, and I opened for him, granting his tongue permiss
Last Updated : 2022-05-17SENSUAL SURRENDER 21. I'll go to the grave loving you
"Nelly, my fingers hurt,” I complained as I worked on the last cornrow. “Your hair's just too damn long."Plaiting Nelly’s hair was usually a challenge, because it was too soft and silky to grasp from his scalp. And then there was the length—around fourteen inches of hair. I wasn't sure why he liked his hair plaited, anyway. Maybe it made him appear tougher and more street? Or maybe he just liked having my hands in his hair."You don't like my hair long? You wanna cut it?" Nelly asked, always ready to please me even when my complaints were trivial. He made me feel as though he lived and breathed only for me."But then you'd lose all your strength and beauty, my dear Samson," I teased. "I'm no Delilah, I could never do that to you.""So you like it then?""Of course I do. It just takes a hell of a long time to plait," I said. "It's my fingers that protest."Nelly was sitting cross-legged on a thick red blanket while I knelt behind him grooming his hair. We were at our favorite spot—un
Last Updated : 2022-05-18SENSUAL SURRENDER 22. Awakening my love
Someone was shaking me awake. I reluctantly opened my eyes and was staring right into Josh’s. Again. He was on his side, propped up on one elbow.Something was tickling my cheeks. Tears. I was crying. I was crying in my sleep?"Sorry to wake you, but you were crying so hard I couldn't…" Josh tried to smile but a torn expression marred his features."It's okay,” I whispered. “Thanks for waking me.""Was it a bad dream?" I closed my eyes and tried to remember what my dream was about. There were flashes of the neighborhood I grew up in, the giant oak tree I used to sketch under, the park…there was this person, hugging me, but his face was obscured. The flickers were quick, I had them, and then they were gone. Zilch. "No.""Wanna tell me about it?""I-I can’t remember any of it, Josh."With a sigh, he flopped back on the bed, eyes on the ceiling. "You were dreaming about Nelly again," he said. "Saying his name over and over. Saying you loved him." He looked pained, as though whatever I'
Last Updated : 2022-05-18SENSUAL SURRENDER 23. Present turned to past
“Tell me his name, Dalia," Michael demanded when I entered his car and he saw my face. My tears ran freely. “Tell me the asshole’s name!”"Chill, Michael.”Michael craned his neck to glare up at the skyscraper building through his windshield. "What did rich boy do? Say the word, Dalia. Say the word and I’ll deliver his head to you John the Baptist style.”"Michael, I promise you, I'm good," I tried to defuse him. "He didn't do anything to me.I just...needed space and snuck out. That’s all."He didn’t believe me. It was obvious. "Y’sure?""Yes." I added a nod with the word for emphasis. "Is Julia at your place?"Michael finally pulled away from the curb. At this ungodly hour, the roads were dark and unpopulated. "Yeah. Been there all week.""And you're out swindling?""Have to make that green, baby girl," he said through his sexy Hispanic accent. His basketball cap barely sat on the side of his head."I'm gonna sleep at your house tonight then. But stop at my apartment first so I can
Last Updated : 2022-05-18SENSUAL SURRENDER 24. Dangerously in love with you
"I still think we should wait, Dalia. We don't have to do this.”Determined, I yanked Nelly’s arm, pulling him in the direction of his bedroom in his rented flat. To which I held the keys, considering he was only there on weekends. During the week, it was mine to do with as I pleased. My second home. "I know. But I want to.”Nelly inhaled, closed his eyes. When he opened them again, they were blazing with lust, his tenuous reservation unraveled. Cupping my face, he plunged his tongue into my mouth, taking what was willingly his. Our tongues tangled in a sensuous dance.Never breaking, he moved across the bedroom threshold and kicked the door shut. Then the kiss got deeper, more desperate, as he took small steps forward, forcing me backwards until I felt the bed behind me. I toppled backward, and he fell with me, our lips never parting.I love him so much.When he finally parted ways with my lips, we were both panting, breathing ragged."On one condition.""What?" I rasped. "Anything."
Last Updated : 2022-05-18SENSUAL SURRENDER 25. The worst nightmare
Later that night, I woke up alone.Mild stings from various parts of my body reminded me of our passionate exertions. My neck—the love bites. Between my legs—my lost virginity. My lips—from endless kissing and lip biting.Where’d Nelly gone off to?I lazily swung out of bed, searching the apartment. No Nelly. But I could hear the rowdy jeers of boys outside, and knew his crew was under The Big Tree out in the yard smoking marijuana and talking about girls and guns as usual.Yeah, I get that they were his boys and all that, but were they really more important than me right now?Snatching up my cell phone, I sent him a text.Baby, I'm awake.I need more.Please come back inside. Love you.The bed sheets were stained with blood from my broken hymen, so I changed them and grabbed a quick shower, then slid back into bed, waiting.Half-an-hour later, Nelly still wasn’t back, neither did he respond to my text. Then it was an hour. An hour and a half.No Nelly.But I could still hear the bois
Last Updated : 2022-05-18SENSUAL SURRENDER 26. I will not cry
Geo Lee was a joy to work with. He was bubbly, charismatic, jocular and gay— occupying both significances of the double entendre. I'd left Michael's house a sapping mess that morning but was instantly invigorated once I stepped through the doors of GLFH.I was in my zone there, around an immense oak table in an all-glass room choosing fabrics and patterns for an upcoming fashion show. Geo Lee was crazy about a few of my designs and decided to model them in his show. Even though my designs would be carrying his name, I was thrilled and honored that I could actually wow a fashion icon like Geo Lee.Kiwan, an Asian beauty with jet black, bobbed hair and small squinted eyes, was nodding furiously at Geo Lee's rapid words. She was an accessory designer—a hell of an accessory designer, actually. But she seemed overwhelmed by Geo Lee's new requirements.It appeared he'd canceled his previous ideas for the Fashion Show and was now taking a completely different turn on a very slim timeline. A
Last Updated : 2022-05-18SENSUAL SURRENDER 27. Because I still love him
"Dalia."Soft hands coaxed me from the comforting darkness of sleep.Julia."I brought you some soup." I blinked at her sitting at the side of the bed. "You’ve got to be hungry, Dalia. You came home with a Burger King meal and it’s still untouched."Rubbing the blurriness from my sleepy eyes, I sat up. "What time is it?""Around nine. Here, eat something." She carefully set the tray on my lap. A big, red bowl of delectable gumbo. Julia was a consummate cook—not at all congruous with her 'spoiled girl' personality. But it was a trait inherited from her mother, Mrs. Mitchell, who was master in the kitchen.My stomach grumbled in reply as the aroma rose to my nostrils. "Thanks, Julia.You’re right. I'm famished."I took a spoonful of gumbo to my mouth, and as always, preparations by Julia's hands were delicious."So, how was your first day at work?""Fun." I managed a smile. "Geo Lee’s all work, no play, and no lunch breaks."Julia had a horrified expression. "And that's fun?"I laughed.
Last Updated : 2022-05-18
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SENSUAL SURRENDER 52. I already said yes
We drove home from the dinner in painful silence.Josh hadn’t said a word to me since my tiff with his father. Was I in trouble for this bullshit? Would he leave me because I showed no respect to his father—his idol?The day was starting to wear on me.Easing into his garage, he parked, pulled up the handbrake, and turned to look at me. Expression was unrevealing.I braced myself for the imminent explosion. Strange that hours ago I'd stared down the one man he, Josh, was afraid of, yet I was intimidated by the son.Saying nothing, he just watched me, inexpressive.My eyes dropped to my fingers restlessly fiddling with the edges of my purse."Look at me, Dalia," he said. "You just stared down one of the most domineering men I've ever known. A man who has intimidated some of the world’s most powerfulbusinessmen to capitulate to his demands. And you can’t look at me?" I didn't look up at him when I quietly asked, "Are you mad at me?" Silence.When I risked a peek up at him, the apathy r
SENSUAL SURRENDER 51. The challenge
The great room was packed with Nelsons, as we all waited an annoyingly long time for the dinner to start. Like we were at the White House waiting for the President’s arrival or something.Centuries later, a wiry middle-aged butler emerged through a set of double doors on the right. Holding a wand that seemed much too heavy for his proportion, he lifted it high before slicing it through the air and hitting it against a huge gold gong I hadn't noticed was there. The blow elicited a loud, grating bang, ceasing all chattering and yanking everyone's attention."Good evening, everyone," he said resoundingly. "Dinner is served." He stepped aside and gestured to double doors that were immediately pulled open by another pair of butlers. All the Nelsons formed a single file line and walked through the doors.I folded my lips and followed, trying with tenuous control to not collapse into a fit of laughter at this family's over-the-top absurdities. A small giggle managed to escape and Josh glance
SENSUAL SURRENDER 50. Dreadful father
Taking me by surprise, Melinda leaned over and clasped my hand. "Do you really love him? Men change, you know. They can change so suddenly that—""Of course she doesn't," said a voice behind me, which I now recognized as Princess’s. "She has a gold eye, and Brother's a fool for thinking she actually loves him.""Princess," Melinda warned with an irritated wave. "Ignore her," she whispered conspiratorially. "Nothing annoys her more."I plastered a smile on my face. "It's okay. I'm used to antagonism. Where’s your powder room?""Left.” She gave me an apologetic smile. "At the very end of the hall." Grateful to get away, I thanked her and took off.There were paintings of each family member along the hall walls. How much more archaic could this family get?As I sidled down the dragging hall, I heard harsh yelling coming from behind one of the doors on the right, which was left ajar, and I edged closer to eavesdrop."...and my last words to you Henry: 'punishment is made for mockers and t
SENSUAL SURRENDER 49. Meeting the Nelsons
The ride to the Nelson estate was long, but the green scenery made up for it. I hadn’t realize I’d been slouching with my face glued out the window until Josh pulled up outside a stately, wrought-iron gate and numbered the security monitor on a red-bricked column.We drove through the gates and down a narrow road, passing tall, flourishing trees. Between the intermittent spacing of the trees, I could see acres of verdant land rolling on and on.Two minutes of driving and the house was still out of view. One more minute of driving and we were outside another baronial gate. Again he numbered the security monitor and drove us through."All that land behind us belongs to your father?""Yep.""Are we gonna get to the house anytime this year?"He chuckled. “We’re here."We drove along a sinuous path lined with towering palm trees until the palatial house came into view. An imposing, three story, white mansion with immense carved columns, French windows and doors. Put simply, the place was i
SENSUAL SURRENDER 48. San Francisco
We arrive in San Francisco late Saturday evening.Huge was too small of a word to describe Josh’s all-glass home. Aesthetically decorated with white furniture and elaborate pieces of art, I didn’t know where to look first.From any room, kitchen, living room, bathroom, bedroom, I could see the city lights twinkling all around because the pad was all-glass.I’d grumbled a bit about privacy, but when I stepped outside the long-lipped wraparound balcony, I realized the glass was one-way. Nothing could be seen from the outside looking in. Strewn about were white leather lounge chairs and tall decorative plants."You like?" I spun around and found Josh at the sliding glass doors which led out to the balcony. Shirt, shoes and socks all gone. Top button his jeans undone, flashing me a peek at his gray boxers."Y-yes," I rasped, totally, completely affected by the delicious sight of him."It's...huge.""Good. Because I had it redecorated, hoping you’d like it."A stumpy, bald guy dressed in
SENSUAL SURRENDER 47. All that and more
When I next allowed myself to open my eyes, night had fallen, and strong arms were around me. They weren’t Julia’s. They were arms I didn’t want to embrace me, to give me solace from a grief said arms could’ve prevented. Julia was nowhere in sight. Launching up in a sitting position, I called out for her. She needed me like I needed her. I couldn’t allow her to mourn alone. She had no idea what grief could do to her. She wouldn’t know how to deal with it. “Julia!” I called out again, but my voice was so hoarse I could hardly hear myself. Josh’s hard frame was right there behind me, his big, masculine arms trying to ease me back down to the carpet. “Dalia, calm down. Julia left.” Anger surged through me as I twisted around to glare at him. He was shirtless and look a tad weary. I tried not to let his nakedness distract me. “How could you let her leave? Are you that goddamn insensitive?” Though I wanted it to sound like a shout, I failed, because I almost had no voice, my throat
SENSUAL SURRENDER 46. Crying myself to sleep
"Will you be at the family dinner, too?"My question was directed to the svelte, brown-eyed Lori who was trying to stuff me into a lime-green gown as we made a mess of Josh’s apartment. I liked her, because she wasn't uppity. Neither did she bombard me with questions or try to pry into her cousin's privacy.Julia, who popped in an hour ago with the intention of us going shopping, believing Lori wouldn’t have anything I’d like, was rummaging sparkly-eyed through Lori’s racks. She had no upcoming functions that required formal wear, yet she’d set aside four gowns she decided she had to have. I, on the other hand, had yet to find a gown I liked."God, no!" Lori shrieked, a horrified expression on her face. "I can't stand UncleNelson.""Is he that bad?""Yes." She added a slow nod to emphasize. "But it's not just him. It's the whole setting and requirements for the dinner. I mean, the whole purpose is to have dinner and catch up with family. I don't see why all the formality is needed, g
SENSUAL SURRENDER 45. I detonated
Josh was watching me sleep.I was in limbo between sleep and wake, but I still could feel his eyes on me. And I was right. When I chose to be awake instead of asleep, there those blue eyes were, fixed on me.On his side. Hands tucked under his cheek. Unkempt hair, stubble shadowing his squared jaw, and still he looked as glorious as ever. A ray of sun sneaking through the blinds laced across his features. No one should be allowed to look this damn good in the morning.His lips curved up. "Hi."Turning on my side, I mirrored his actions—though I was pretty sure I didn't look half as good as he did at the moment. "You’re giving me the Edward, watching me sleep."“Think I’m creepy?”“Nope. I think it’s sexy.”He made a face. “Okay, that just…doesn’t…sound right.”A giggle escaped as I stretched. "Whatever. You’re sexy. Deal with it.”He edged closer to me but didn't touch me. Just the heat of our bodies mingled. "You have any idea how happy I am right now? To have you back in my life. Yo
SENSUAL SURRENDER 44. Hot kisses
There's only darkness and the almost imperceptible humming of the air conditioner. I opened my eyes, stretched; a smile creeping across my face when I realized I was in Josh's bed.Josh wasn’t there, though.Glancing over at the bedside clock I saw it was long after midnight. My smile melted as my heart pounded loud in my ears. Déjá vu attacked me.Scrambling out of bed, I yanked off the sheet and draped it around me then rushed into the bathroom. He wasn't there.I darted out onto the balcony. Not there. Trying not to trip over the bunched-up sheet, I sprinted downstairs.My heart sagged in relief.Josh in the living area, humming to the sound of Morgan Heritage’s She’s Still Loving Me playing softly over the integrated speakers, while cleaning up shards of the vase he'd broken earlier.As if sensing me, he abruptly glanced up and smiled. But that smile quickly morphed into a frown. "Dalia, what's wrong?" he asked, concern in his voice. "Shit, you don't want to leave, do you? Stay.
