3. Midnight Conversations

TRIGGER WARNING: This chapter contains mentions of sexual assault.

CAMILLE

Shiver me timbers! That was better than my fantasies put together. All that remained was for him to bend me over somewhere and punish me.

"I,I…" I stuttered as my brain took the easy way out. "Stroll." Oh God! I sounded like a caveman.

He didn't look fazed or interested in a cavewoman. "It's dangerous out here. You don't need me to tell you that."

I don't need you to tell me what to do.

I should say that and earn myself something at least but the words wouldn't just fall. "I can… handle myself."

His gaze swept over me the same time the wind blew in my face and I shivered from both-- mostly him. He sized me up and I stood still for his evaluation. I realised too late that I was thrusting my boobs out.

Did he notice?

Again, his eyes remained cold, then he turned his face with a bored look. I expected a remark but nothing came. Was he dismissing me?

"It's not that dangerous here," I looked to the road where his eyes were, wondering what he stared at so interestingly.

"With that bruise on your neck, I'd say it's a lovely place."

How did he see that? It was almost nightfall. He was staring at me again and I instinctively placed my hand there. My heart thundered in panic and I felt humiliated. I had always covered up the bruises my father gave me. He was the second person to see it by mistake.

"It's not what you think," I tried to explain.

Again, he went mute. Took out a cigar and started to smoke again. He didn't talk much, did he? Why did his cigar smell so good? I watched as the fire at the tip brightened when he took a drag and the smoke went up in his face.

I gulped, unable to tear my eyes away and strangely thirsting for a drag.

"No."

Startled, I blinked out of my shock, "I didn’t say anything."

"You did it with your eyes," he sounded uptight. "It's no good for you."

"But you're doing it."

"I have my reasons."

"I have mine too," he barely looked concerned but I figured he wanted me to go on, to convince him. Would he let me? That would be an indirect kiss. Like a virgin, I blushed and said in one breath, "I didn't get my pay after working extra hours. I caught my boyfriend in bed with my mother and my dad beat us all up."

He froze while I held my breath praying that it was believable. "Come here."

I jumped at it too quickly, nervousness pooling in my lower belly. He smelled too strongly from smoke and I wondered if that was what his skin smelled like too. He held out his cigar, bringing it to my lips.

He looked older than me but not in a 'daddy' kinda sense. He just looked really mature. I was twenty-two so I wasn't all that old.

"Just suck it. Don't swallow. Keep it in your mouth." Oh God! Where were the fucking cameras? Placing my hand on his big one, I put my lips there, heart thudding from the kiss we just shared and I did as I was told, keeping a steady gaze on him as he did with me. The smoke was hot in my mouth and it tasted bitter.

"Release slowly. Stop, now suck it back in like a little whistle before letting it out slowly." My heart was racing. This was so bad. It felt like a thousand little needles poked around in my throat and It went down the wrong pipe because a few minutes later, I was coughing all over the place.

A little sigh, "You asked for it and for the record, that's a shitty lie."

Fuck! The world was starting to spin. "It tastes like shit."

"I tried to warn ya."

Standing so close now, I realised he was really tall. The kind you'd have to tilt your head back. My eyes dropped to his biceps and I admired them. Those arms could wrap around me all day and I wouldn't want to leave.

"Do you hate yourself?" The question caught me off guard and I doubted I heard that right. My eyes were still spinning and my heart was beating wildly.

"What?" a moment passed and I figured he wouldn't repeat himself so I answered, "No. I don't know. I don't think I do."

"You're out here with a total stranger, trying out his pipe-"

"Don't say pipe," I snickered and whispered, "That's dirty." my head was getting dizzy and the floor looked like it could do better things than be under my feet. "Wow! That's really strong. How are you still holding up?"

He didn't look surprised or worried or anything at all. He just kept smoking, as he studied me. His eyes darted everywhere.

"You look dangerous. Sorry. I don't know why I said that," I moved to lean against the wall next to him and sighed.

"Wow!" My legs gave out and I sagged all the way down, smiling excitedly when that happened. I wanna do it again. So I did. A few times until I was giggling at myself.

"Is this supposed to be normal?" I wondered.

"For a lightheaded fuck like you, yes."

That made me smile so I tilted my head back and grinned at him. Surprisingly, he was already staring. I wanted to look at him up close. "I look better up close."

He frowned.

"You're grumpy. Why?" he ignored me. "You don’t talk much, do you? That's okay. I don’t talk much either." when he snorted, I frowned, "I mean it. I'm the quiet, shy and reserved Camille no one likes to talk to, yet everyone loves. You know why? I turn a blind eye to everything."

"I have one rule; Treat everything like a pimple. They'll go away."

"That's stupid."

I smiled, "That's what they all say, but I don't care. It'll all go away. They always go away." I snapped out of the loop and looked down at the cold floor, tears almost gathering in my eyes now.

"What's your one rule?" Once again, my attention shifted back to him. The silence stretched. He ignored me but I kept looking. I spaced out in between and each time I came to, it felt like I was asking for the first time until he sighed and looked at me with annoyance in his eyes.

"I'll keep looking until you tell me."

He grabbed my head and forcefully turned me away, "I don't have a rule. I just do whatever I want."

"Totally something a dangerous man would say. You don't mind stepping over others?" again, he didn't reply so I started to look-

"Don't turn your head and I won't say it twice." His tone was commanding and powerful enough for a thrill to run through me. I looked. I met with his sharp glaring eyes but I shrugged saying nothing.

"I'm usually very obedient."

"No, I don't care," he replied to my earlier question. "If it's mine, it's mine. Nothing can stand in the way."

"Awen. That's a positive and strong way to look at life. What do you do?"

"Everything you call bad."

Oh? "That sounds interesting."

"You wouldn't be saying that with your head rolling on the floor."

I giggled, "No, I wouldn't. I'd be dead and unable to speak."

"Go home."

"I can't. My legs won't work," I looked at them, like really looked at them then looked at him. "I have work tomorrow. Carry me-"

"You're delusional if you think you're my problem."

"Will you take me home then? Oh no, wait, don't," my face fell. "Dad hasn't cooled off yet. He pulls a tantrum every time there's no money, yet he spends it all when he gets his hands on it. I lied about not getting my paycheck. It's with my friend. I trust him. I'd rather have him run off with it, than have my father waste it on gambling and beer."

"Ugh!" I held my head. "I hate talking about this-"

"Then don't-"

"We live together."

"Move out."

"Technically, he lives with me," I corrected.

"Kick him out."

"He has nowhere else to go, and he'll be dead in a few days. There are loan sharks after him and he's owing everyone who manages to spare him a cent. He's… the only family I've got left." again, my eyes brimmed with tears and I chewed on my lips.

"That's your problem-"

"He has tried to rape me countless times." The silence that followed was so deafening that I swore even the walls were shocked.

I heard rustling and turned to see him in my face. His face came alive with a frown, annoyed or angry-- I couldn't tell which. He looked handsome. Like really very handsome. The kind you wouldn't mind sleeping with in a dumpster.

His cold hand caught my chin and he twisted my head to check out the bruise. I went stiff, feeling his warm smokey breath on the side of my face. My eyes dropped to his lips and my thoughts exploded in my face.

"You need more than one drag," he mumbled and I started to smile. "That's the home you're going back to?" I nodded in a daze. His eyes were so dark and there was barely any life in them.

"It's not home. Home doesn't make you run from it or wish you were run over by a truck on your way back from work. Home is peaceful," I murmured, feeling really sleepy and tired. I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, but I struggled. I didn’t want to go to bed, not now when he was finally in front of me with his lips inches apart.

"You look so handsome," I leaned forward, my head banging and heavy as my body started to relax and I rubbed my face against his hand. The last thing I heard before my eyes closed sounded like 'you need saving.' or was it sleep? I don't know. I was too tired to ask.