Chapter One

Tears streamed down my face as I walked down the block toward my house. I took my time getting there, my feet feeling heavier with each step. A week and things only seem to get worse. There’s no end in sight.

I stopped a few houses away wiping my face free of tears and trying to get a hold of my emotions. I took a few deep breaths before finally making it to my front door. I saw my mother’s car parked on the street so I knew she was home from work.

“Hey sweetie how was school?” My mother asked as I walked through the front door. I didn’t bother to stop or look at her, I already knew my face was still puffy from crying.

“It was fine. I may sign up for a few clubs.” I said in a rush as I made it to the steps. “Sorry I really have to pee,” I yelled as I ran up the steps and into my room.

I threw myself on the bed burying my face in my pillow and letting out the loudest scream I could. It helped to cure the feeling of needing to cry but the hurt ran deep. After I lay there for a moment contemplating life, I got up and began working on my homework.

I turned the radio on playing music to drown out my own horrible thoughts. I did the right thing, I know I did. They just don’t know it, or do they even care?

I shook my head focusing back on my homework, staying in my room until my mother called me down for dinner. I made sure there were no signs of me crying before I went down to face her.

“So tell me about these clubs you were thinking about?” She started once we sat down and began eating.

“Well there’s an art club I think will be fun, and there’s swimming, also drama. I’m not sure which ones I want to do just yet.” I really hadn’t planned on doing any of those things, but anything to keep my mother happy I was going to tell her. Those just so happen to be the only club posters I noticed around school today.

“It sounds like you’ll have your hands full with those clubs. I’m happy for you baby.” The smile on her face made my heart hurt. I just wanted to blurt out the truth, but then she’d worry even more about me.

Or what if she becomes disappointed and upset with me? I don't think I'd be able to handle that. It's one thing to go through hell at school, but a different ball game to come home to the hurt.

I just kept my mouth shut and said nothing. We continued eating and made small talk. She told me about a client she had today, and about another, she had taken care of last week. Both stories lifted my sour mood at the humor in them.

One client tried to run out of the house in only his boxers, talking about his clothes being on fire. He had dementia and always thought his clothes were on fire, even when he’s just gotten out of the tub.

The other client was a 70-year-old lady who tried to fight her 80-year-old sister. They did a lot of yelling and screaming and when it came down to the actual fights they were hitting each other like they were toddlers.

They were hilarious, and I let my mother talk as I listened, glad to have the focus off of me right now. I would keep silent until it was too hard to hide.

After dinner, I sat at my computer desk staring at the blank screen. My hands hover above the keyboard. My fingers couldn’t find the strength to make contact and type out the words they needed. I looked over at my cell phone that rested next to my keyboard thinking of who to contact first.

Luke or Kaleb?

They both needed to know my predicament. Kaleb because I’m pretty positive it’s his, also Luke because we did have sex the week prior; no protection like we usually do.

Hey Kaleb I have some news. I don’t want you to think I did this on purpose or anything, but I’m pregnant. I was pretty sure the pill was working but I guess the ecstasy overruled that bit. I don’t want anything from you just thought it was the right thing to do to let you know. You can ignore me or not. But at least I told you.

I sat and looked at the words on the screen it all seemed stupid. Every word on that screen mocked me, and I started to think if it was such a good idea to tell him now instead of when I found out about a month ago.

I erased it all and tried something else. Short and to the point.

Kaleb I’m pregnant and I’m pretty positive it’s yours.

No that wouldn’t do either. I erased the words and closed out my F******k Messenger. I picked up my phone, hovering over Luke’s contact. We hadn’t talked since I broke up with him the day after the party.

His excuse was that he had gotten too drunk and done more drugs that he couldn’t see clearly and thought the girl he left with was me. It was just the way he talked, I couldn’t believe a word he was saying. He wasn’t sorry he cheated, he was sorry he had gotten caught and I beat him to the punch in the breakup.

Fuck it, neither of them had to know. Not like they’d want the responsibility of taking care of a baby anyway. They're freshmen in college. Who wants to go through that with a baby attached?

Now to just figure out the hardest part in all of this. Telling my mother. She’s going to shit herself and probably knock my head into next year.

I knew I should have stuck with my gut feeling and stayed away from that party. I didn't want to go, to begin with, but Luke sweet-talked me into it. Said it would be our last time out together for a while and he wanted to savor the moment.

He just wanted an excuse to sleep with someone. I released a heavy sigh and closed down my laptop. I grabbed the book I was supposed to be reading for my English class but couldn’t focus.

I grabbed my notebook and just started writing until my eyes burned and I needed sleep. I climbed into bed and attempted to read some more, but nothing worked. Tomorrow is another day of humiliation, another day of heartbreak, another day of torment. Another day of being the outcast, the butt of everyone’s jokes, the one on the receiving end of the cold shoulder.

Yay for rumors!