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F O R T Y - F I V E
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2024-10-29 19:42:56The apartment was spotless. Kate had even emptied the kitchen cupboards, scrubbing and reorganizing through the haze of nausea that threatened to slow her down. Her nails bitten down to nothing, the inside of her cheek chewed so fervently she had given herself an ulcer, and yet Colton still hadn’t come home. The sun was beginning to sink, orange and pink streaks dancing across the sky. Kate sipped a glass of water, her head resting against her palm as she stared blankly out the window. The tears had run out hours ago, her tear ducts completely drained, but the sadness still enveloped her like a thick, warm blanket on a scorching hot day.
A creak rang from behind her, the doorknob turning as if in slow motion, and Kate jumped from the stool, raking her gaze over Colton’s exhausted frame. His shoulders slumped forward dejectedly, tear-stained cheeks reddened, his hair still a complete mess. Hesitating for a moment, Kate realized she didn’t care if he pushed her away. She needed
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Rude Awakenings F O R T Y - S I X
The vast waiting room of the doctor’s office felt stifling. Inhaling deeply, Kate tried to abate her nausea. Colton sensed her discomfort, squeezing her thigh reassuringly before sweeping his arm around her small shoulders, tugging her into the rapidly-beating cavity of his chest. It was rhythmically soothing for Kate, the accelerated tempo surprisingly calming her.An elderly couple sat opposite them, weathered hands entwined in the gentleman’s lap as they watched the medical piece on the television. The woman glanced at Kate, a smile crinkling the sides of her wrinkled mouth. Smiling back, Kate had to bury the small laugh that fluttered in her chest as the woman’s hazy blue eyes widened, taking over Colton’s tattooed skin. She was easily won over though when Colton flashed her a heart-stopping smile, her cheeks flushing rouge.Leaning towards Kate’s ear, Colton’s breath was silky as he whispered, “That’ll be us one day. Just with more tatts.”Kate giggled. A sens
Rude Awakenings F O R T Y - S E V E N
The plastic covering of the examination table squeaked as Kate cinched the sheet over her bare legs, waiting patiently for the sonographer to return. The past few days had been torturous at best, sickness washing over her at every turn. Colton had tried his best to reassure her; promises that the ultrasound would find their baby in the right position recited so often Kate thought it was just an automatic response for him now.Dr. Bharathi had confirmed the pregnancy through Kate’s blood work, stating that she was around 5-6 weeks pregnant, and although there was a slim chance Kate wouldn’t see much, the sonographer would know exactly what to look for.As the sonographer returned, beginning the ultrasound, grey flickers of Kate’s uterus flashed across the small screen. Her breath hitched in her throat, the beating of her heart stopping completely as her eyes narrowed on the image. She had studied Paloma’s ultrasounds and thought she would know what to search for, but she
Rude Awakenings F O R T Y - E I G H T
Silence filled the room.Mind-numbing, oppressive, disheartening silence.The walls were closing in, inching nearer and nearer like a damn nightmare. Dr. Bharathi’s voice pierced through the void of numbness between Kate’s ears, “Looking at your second round of blood work, your hCG levels seem to be dropping on their own. I think we should stick to active monitoring. The pregnancy looks to be dissolving on its own. If your hormonal level increases, we’ll need to look into some other treatments, but for the moment, I think your body is doing the hard work for us.”The doctor’s voice faded out, Kate’s heartbeat ringing loudly in her ears. She didn’t care about the side effects of her body’s rejection or the fact that she’d need to get blood tests done every second day to ensure her levels were dropping. She didn’t care about her future chances of a thriving pregnancy or the fact that her IUD had been successfully removed. All she could think of was that she failed. H
Rude Awakenings F O R T Y - N I N E
The door swung open, Paloma’s sorrow-filled face greeting Kate with a warm hug, “Dylan’s offered to take Floss for the night. It’s just you and I, babe. I bought chocolate and ice-cream and the caramel popcorn you like, as well as a shitload of Tylenol and pads. I didn’t know what you’d need so I just bought everything I could think of.”Straining a smile, Kate felt the stiffness of her cheeks from dried tears. She hadn’t thought of any of the necessities and she was so thankful for Paloma’s common sense. It seemed like her own had evaded her. “Thanks, P.”“You’ve done the same for me,” Paloma smiled, soothingly rubbing Kate’s arms as she ushered her inside. “Go and put your sweats on. I’ll get a heat pack and we can hang out and watch movies.”As Paloma disappeared from sight, Kate meandered down the hallway, stopping at the entrance of the spare bedroom and taking a deep breath. As much as she loved her best friend, this isn’t where she wanted to be. Not really.
Rude Awakenings F I F T Y
Clutching the railing, Colton panted frantically, desperately trying to regain his breath. Jogging had never been his thing, and he had no fucking idea why he had thought that it would be a good idea. Kate had always claimed it ‘cleared her head’ but all he felt was fucking foggy. He was sure the cigarettes had destroyed his lung capacity.After hearing Kate’s sweet voice over the phone this morning, his body had begged for a release. Not holding her in his sleep, not being able to fuck her or kiss her or smell her or taste her, not having her beside him at every turn, was sending him fucking insane. But the run had been fucking idiotic and now he just missed her even more.Soft shuffling rang out from the floor above and Colton groaned. He prayed it was the new couple that had just moved in and not the old bitch that had threatened to have him evicted. He didn’t think he was mentally capable of not accidentally pushing her down the fucking staircase.Her pink fluf
Rude Awakenings F I F T Y - O N E
The car idled beside the curb, its driver watching assiduously through a sophisticated pair of binoculars. He had purchased them years ago when he had begun bird-watching and he applauded himself for using his acquired skills from night-birding to stake out Kate. She was staying with her friend, he’d established, after a spat with her oaf of a boyfriend, making her a much easier target. The slender brunette she was bunking with would be much easier to overpower than the brute.Vibrant blue eyes narrowed as Kate exited the front door, waving goodbye to her friend and the small child lifted precariously on her hip. Even with the refined technology of his binoculars, he could only assume it was Kate. Her brown hair was hidden beneath a dark beanie, her slender frame wrapped in an oversized coat. He had been watching for a while though, assured that it was only Kate and her friend in the home. He knew how terrible Kate was with children. There was absolutely no way she’d be left a
Rude Awakenings F I F T Y - T W O
The flight of stairs seemed never-ending, the clinical smell of the hospital saturating his senses. His heart raced emphatically, desperate to reach Kate. She had finally answered his call, her voice trembling explaining the situation. Paloma and Heath had been in a car accident. She couldn’t say much else, her words trailing off into soft weeps. Colton had wanted to pick her up, to be the one to comfort her, but she told him Dylan was picking up Florence and would drive her to the hospital.Never again would she need someone else to take care of her, he swore it. No matter how bad their fighting had become, he would never leave her side again.Rounding the corner, Colton almost collided with her shaking frame. Dressed in sweats and a thick, blue sweater, her hair messy and her tan eyes red and puffy, Kate looked as beautiful as ever. Strong arms enveloped her, crushing her tremors with the firm planes of his chest.“Are they okay?”Sniffling, Kate wiped her
Rude Awakenings F I F T Y - T H R E E
It took a few days before Paloma and Heath were released from the hospital. Heath had suffered a concussion, a broken leg and a few broken ribs, but he was healing well. Paloma had been mainly unharmed, although she was knocked unconscious during the collision. Doctors had done a multitude of scans to make sure she wasn’t bleeding internally or suffering any underlying issues and had found that she was doing okay.They couldn’t remember much of the accident, only that the car had redlined as if it had been stationary before their arrival at the intersection. There had been a small crowd of witnesses at the scene but all had been unable to provide a definitive description of the perpetrator, only causing Kate’s stomach to churn in unease.Guilt had consumed her at the officer’s words. She had offered for Paloma and Heath to stay with her, but they had declined. All Paloma wanted was to spend time with Florence. The brief hospital visits hadn’t been enough. She had gratefu
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Rude Awakenings O N E H U N D R E D & T W E N T Y
The hot water beat down on Kate’s tired body, doing little to ease the aches and pains of her exhausted muscles and absolutely nothing to diffuse the mental depletion she felt. Perpetually fatigued was now her permanent state of being, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. She hurried to work the shampoo through her now shoulder-length brown hair, keeping one eye on the baby monitor that flashed on the vanity. She closed her eyes momentarily, silently praying that everyone stayed asleep for just five more minutes. Bubbles tingled across her pink chipped toenails - a reminder from her and Paloma’s last day out alone, sans kids. She stifled a giggle, remembering how Colton had phoned her, asking her a million questions while squeals echoed in the background. Upon her return, he had met her at the door, black tee covered in spit-up and mashed banana while exhausted eyes stared at her gratefully. The click of the bathroom door dragged her from her thoughts, squinting eye
Rude Awakenings O N E H U N D R E D & N I N E T E E N
Colton’s wide eyes stared back at Kate, as she panted through yet another excruciating contraction; her entire pelvis spreading apart to allow their baby to enter the world. The floral tones of Bernadette’s perfume wafted through the room as she returned, snapping on a pair of blue latex gloves, a stack of blue sheets tucked under her arm. Another woman trudged behind, not clearly as enthused as Bernadette, sanitizing her hands before sliding on her own pair of gloves. Snapping her gum, she made her way over to the machine beside Kate’s bed, mature hazel eyes peering over square glasses to scan the paper slowly rolling from the machine.“Okay, Kate,” Bernadette chirped from the end of the bed, her short hair curled eloquently atop her head. Kate took in the swirls of brown, ebbing and flowing across her crown as she pushed through another surge of pain. “Kate,” Bernadette smiled, patting Kate’s bare leg to garner her atten
Rude Awakenings O N E H U N D R E D & E I G H T E E N
Shivering as she swept the blankets off her bloated body, Kate groaned, awkwardly clambering from the bed, one hand attempting to massage her lower back as she waddled to the bathroom. The sun had begun to rise, its rays just starting to seep through the small crack of their curtain. It bounced off Colton’s watch face, illuminating a soft glowy spot on the roof. She cast a glance over her shoulder, unable to help the smile that grew across her face at Colton’s muffled snores, his bare torso exposed with one inked hand resting atop it. His wedding ring glistened ever so slightly in the dewy dawn light. She’d always assumed married life would feel no different and for the first few weeks, aside from the bubbling excitement that they’d actually gone through with it, it hadn’t, but as the weeks turned to months, Kate grew to understand exactly why people did it. Knowing that Colton had wholeheartedly committed himself to her for the rest of his life was an
Rude Awakenings O N E H U N D R E D & S E V E N T E E N
The car jounced down the dirt road, wheels spinning stray flecks of gravel through the air. The sky was almost pitch black now, a thick blanket filled with tiny stars that glinted brightly against the navy backdrop. The woods, still filled with the unsettling presence of flashlights, seemed eerier in the rearview, the few police cars that remained at the cottage shining from the glow of the kitchen light emanating from the window. Kate tugged at the threads of Colton’s sweatshirt, pulling the fabric over her mouth as she buried herself into the passenger seat. The radio announcer's voice drifted through the otherwise silent interior, talking about a new song being released by a popular female artist. Kate tried to focus on what he was saying, to push away the intrusive thoughts that were swirling through her mind, but his words turned into a mish-mash of nonsense, garbled sounds that made no sense to her. From her peripheral, she caught Colton m’s hand resting gently aga
Rude Awakenings O N E H U N D R E D & S I X T E E N
“Colton!”Her own voice rang in her ears, the sharp whistle of a gunshot pulsing deep in the chambers of her mind as all other noises diffused, dulling down to an almost non-existent whine. Colton’s body crumpled to the floor, the rifle discharging as it hit the scuffed floorboards; another loud pop burrowing into her eardrums. Attempting to stand, she clutched her stomach, huffing as she brought herself to her feet, watching in horror as a small team of officers, dressed in dark S.W.A.T vests, approached, their movements slow and controlled, methodically assessing the scene before them.“Kate!”Sandy’s voice cut through the mind-numbing noise, the warmth of her hand resting on Kate’s shoulder, preventing her from moving forward. Tearing away from her grasp, Kate stumbled forward, tripping over Preston’s extended leg and careening to the floor. She stuck out her hands, her wrists taking the brunt of the impact as s
Rude Awakenings O N E H U N D R E D & F I F T E E N
Tucking her knees into her chest - as far as her pregnant stomach would allow - Kate covered her ears, consciously inhaling and exhaling through pursed lips in an attempt to steady her erratic heart. Somewhere in the lounge room, she heard Colton shuffling about, the harsh rake of the curtain rings sliding along the thick wooden rods, shading them from the view of the outside. He continued grumbling over the phone, the string of expletives showing no signs of easing as his heavy footsteps clunked past her, growing muffled in the weathered carpet as he retreated into the bedroom. Cabinet doors banged open, the clang and clatter of objects dispersing as he rifled through them before forcefully slamming them shut with an irritated grunt. The anxiety coursing through her triggered the baby, its tiny limbs poking and prodding her stomach as she strove to calm herself down.“You better have someone here soon, Sandy,” Colton spat in the background, the sound of ano
Rude Awakenings O N E H U N D R E D & F O U R T E E N
Stepping out onto the expansive back deck, Kate huddled into one of the wicker chairs, stretching out her legs to allow the tiny glimmer of sunlight to spatter across her sweats. Keeping the knitted blanket wrapped loosely around her shoulders, she clasped the hot cup between her palms, inhaling the sweet nuttiness of her almond cappuccino, lovingly brought back by Colton from his morning stroll into town. The fresh air, thick with the scent of pine needles and earthy rain, consumed her, allowing her to breathe deeply for the first time in weeks, if not months. Casting a gaze out at the dense woodlands before her, she smiled. Even though she’d denied him multiple times, Colton’s insistence on bringing her out to Rhys’ reclusive cabin had been the best idea he’d had in a long time. They’d been there only two days and already she was feeling like a whole new person. Her gaze flittered to the back door as it swung open, Colton’s broad shoulders unclothed, his shirt being used t
Rude Awakenings O N E H U N D R E D & T H I R T E E N
Three months laterPuffing out the influx of air she’d sucked in, Kate smoothed her white blouse over her stomach nervously, the silky material oddly comforting beneath her palm. The musky scent of the courthouse irritated her nostrils, old wood and leather mingled with thick clouds of cologne, emanating from the men dressed in stiff suits as they walked past her, their shoes click-clacking against the linoleum floor. Leaning back, she rested her back against the pastel yellow concrete wall, a chill radiating through her spine, as she tugged her phone from her purse. She smiled at the presence of Colton’s name on the screen and the black love heart nestled beside it.Good luck, baby. I’ll be there as soon as I can. This fucking dick is taking his sweet ass time.The memory of his crestfallen face flashed through her mind, the way his fingers had curled around the neck of his beer bottle as he jotted down the time and date for
Rude Awakenings O N E H U N D R E D & T W E L V E
“How the hell do you have boxes – plural – of stuff? Paloma left with two trash bags,” Colton huffed, sliding the final box from their car across the bedroom floor, watching with a wince as it skidded into Kate’s leg. “Sorry.”“Ow.” She dropped the shirt she was folding, rubbing her leg before frowning up at him. “She forgot a lot of things, and it was easier to pre-fold my clothes and put them into boxes, rather than chuck them into trash bags again.”Knowing it was best not to argue while her sweet features housed a scowl, Colton sunk onto the bed. “D’ya want help?”After spending the first twenty minutes tidying the chaos that was Colton’s clothes, his shirts and shorts scrunched and stuffed into the spaces her absence had left, the remainder of her task was relatively simple. “I’ve just got the rest of this box and the one you just brought in left,&
