Pre-examinations were already over. I survived the stressful week somehow, and it was a miracle for Toma to survive too. When we were already on our way back to our dorm to take a rest, Toma told me about his other friends that invited him to a party.
"They wanna celebrate that the exams were over, though there's still another examination coming again after two weeks."
"That's cool. Have fun there."
"Don't you want to come with me?" I'd like him being polite by asking me that, but I never really enjoyed parties. And I wasn't even invited there, so…
"Nah, I'm good. I think I'll just sleep the whole night because exams drained me."
"Aww I really wanted to go with you though." He said, looking really down.
"We always hang out. Don't you get tired of seeing my face all the time?" I know he really likes me to be with him, but I think he'll get tired of me eventually.
But
"I'm back, Yuji." He muttered and laid down on me. Literally. He rested his head against my chest, and it made me feel nervous that he might actually hear my heartbeat… beating too fast."T-Toma.""Hmm?" He suddenly got his face close to mine and started to talk."You know what, Yuji? I want to confess something." It was uncomfortable…And yet, I didn't mind him leaning on me. "…I was really upset back then. Cami broke up with me just because she had to transfer to abroad." He began to talk and further lean closer on my neck that I can feel his long eyelashes on my skin."I thought she was everything I could ever hope for, and that my life is finally complete, but she… left me.""Y-Yeah, I-I'm sorry about that." I said, feeling uneasy when his arms suddenly wraps my waist."I was devastated. When Cami left, I feel like there's no sense in living in this world withou
Toma was really upset after having that argument with Yuji. He realized that maybe it still wasn't the right time to confess his feelings, so he thought, he might've fucked up. After sleeping on couch the whole night, he decided to go at Noru's place the next morning.As Noru takes a sip on his cup of coffee, he felt really uncomfortable with Toma's gazes. "I welcomed you even when you were uninvited, you should thank me for letting you sit there." He told Toma."Ugh, atleast make some coffee for me too. I haven't had breakfast yet.""Woah there, I don't work for you. You can make your own." He told Toma.Toma just pouted like a kid and got up to make himself a cup of coffee. While he was doing so, Noru smirks when he asked Toma. "Why come to me?"That made Toma stop for a moment, "I don't know.""Did you got officially rejected?""…yeah.""So, are
I walked at a park nearby so I could clear my mind. I haven't slept well last night because of the incident. The incident really messed me up right now. Now that it happened, I think I can't face Toma properly anymore."Ugh." Sometimes I think I want to be with him, and sometimes I just don't. At first I was afraid of him rejecting me, but now that he confessed that he felt the same way, I got afraid for the two of us because… I know well that a lot of people will badly react about our relationship.Two guys dating? Most people will definitely get disgusted, and I mostly… don't want to disappoint my dad."Oh, it's Yuji." I stopped walking as I heard someone mention my name. Looking at my side, I saw Hino in a casual attire."Hey there! What are you doing here?""Just taking a walk, what about you?""Same.""Ah, wanna grab some food over there?" He invited. That was
"Hino, I… I want your advice or just lend me your ears!" I told him.He just smiled and said he'll hear me out, and so I told him what bothered me. "…I've been like this since highschool around this person. Even though I dated a few girls, that person is still the one on my mind. So am I like, inlove with that person or something?"After I told him all that, he began to laugh which made me feel too embarassed. "Tsk! Stop laughing jerk!""Hahaha! It's just- hahaha! You were always looked so grumpy and cold to everyone. To think you're inlove with someone seemed impossible! Hahaha!""Ugh." It was a mistake! It was a mistake talking to Hino about my problem!"Though it's completely fine, some people can really like a person for a very long time. And it's gonna be tough moving on from that kind of love.""Y-Yeah.""But before you move on, you're going to confess to that
"You should go back to him." Noru told Toma.Toma planned to stay at Noru's place 'til tomorrow because he thinks that he's not capable of facing Yuji yet. He still feels down that he got rejected by Yuji the night he confessed."Ehh… I think I'd stay here for a few more days, even if I have to pay rent." Toma said."What the heck!? I don't want the jerk who rejected me to stay here with me. You're so rude and selfish."Toma pouts as he scribbles on the surface of Noru's bed with his fingers. He's been thinking hard about something after Noru confessed his true feelings for him. Although his thoughts can only hurt Noru more, he's nothing but a selfish prick, not thinking of what Noru will feel about a proposal he just came up with."Hey. I think I'll let you keep me around…" Toma started.Noru couldn't even cook properly because he's too pissed off by Toma's selfish acts. "I thought
Toma ran as fast as he could when he got off the bus. He could feel his heart racing fast within his chest, and he wasn't sure if he'll get disappointed with his expectations or not. All he wanted at the moment is to see Yuji.When he made it to the front door of their room, he started hesitating to open it. A bunch of questions began to pop in his mind. 'What if he says I'm disgusting? What if he says he doesn't want to be my bestfriend anymore? What if he wants me to move out of the room?'He breathed deeply as he grabbed onto the door knob tightly. A bitter smile appeared on his face as he thought, 'rejected or not, there's really nothing to lose.'And as the door opens, he finds Yuji sitting on their couch and was thinking deeply. When he noticed Toma opened the door, his eyes widens, looking like he's still not prepared to face him either.It got awkward real fast when the two just froze and stare at each other
I… started dating my bestfriend, Toma."Yuji! Can you help me with homework?"…Sometimes I still get lost in thought when I think about it. Was it really happening? Isn't this just a dream? Is all of this just an illusion?Is all of this actually real!?"Yuji!!!""Ack!" Toma suddenly hits me on the back with those thick books he's holding. "What the heck!?" I gave him a complaining look.He chuckled and showed his notes. "Help me study, come on!""Ugh, I don't get paid for this.""Hmmm, shall I pay you with my body?" He said and puckered his lips."QUIT JOKING LIKE THAT AND GET TO STUDYING!" This man has no shame. He laughed so hard as he sat next to me.Even though he couldn't focus that much because of the following puns he tried to deliver, I managed to teach him somehow. And when we were done, the asshole slept
I had to go to school alone this morning because Toma had a few important things to do so he couldn't go to classes. So when I was about to leave the room, he pulled me for a tight hug. "Ahh, I wish I could hug you like this forever.""Q-Quit it! Don't you have things to do?" I told him.Geez, don't he get embarassed by his actions at all?"Hahaha, just a few more seconds.""Ugh…" I've let him hugged me for a while, and it made me a bit nervous because I think he doesn't plan to let go of me. It's been already five minutes… "Toma, you done yet?""I can never get tired of this.""Ack! Just let go of me, I don't want to be late for the first class.""Hahaha, okay-okay! Be careful on your way there honey!" H-HONEY!?"Geez, don't call me that!" I yelled and stomped out of there. I was never embarassed like that before. My hands covered up my face and I
By the time the man finally left, mom even gave me loads of money so I could stay away from her. It was then I decided to cut ties with her. I was done dealing with her… "It was a mistake to stay here. I'm leaving." I never should've come back. "W-Wait!" Before mom could stop me, I quickly got to my room and brought all my stuff with me. "Toma, please! Please hear me out!" "…IT'S TOO LATE FOR AN APOLOGY! Don't even think that I'll ever forgive you." I told her while I was running down the stairs. She just kept pulling my stuff to make it more difficult to leave. "No, Toma! I can't—" "Don't stop me!" I glared at her, "I don't want anything to do with you ever again."
Nobody ever knows about it.I kept that very dark secret of mine all to myself. I can't even bother myself to tell my mom about what happened to me, I know she won't give a shit about it. And so, everything that I ever experienced from that man was written down on a journal. That was the only way I could vent all the stress and anger I had.While she was still on a relationship with that man, I would always hide from him so he won't be able to lay a finger on me. But there were times that he would sneak in my room just to make me suffer for his disgusting pleasure. He would often leave with a threat so I wouldn't dare tell anyone about it.I was really scared… no one was ever there for me. But instead of letting myself suffer even more, I try to make myself distracted when I'm out of the house.Y
We moved into a new neighborhood when I was at the age of eight. That's when I met Yuji, the guy who became my best friend… the guy who I came to like. And the one who I fell for.He became the person who I would run to whenever I'm at my worst. Yuji would always welcome me at his house, both his parents treating me like I was a part of their family. I really loved his company, it lets me feel all the things I lacked on my own family."Tomakawa, don't your parents worry if you spend the night here without telling them?" Auntie asked.I shook my head and gave my brightest smile. "They won't. Mommy said it's okay if it's at my best friend's house." It was a lie, and I was not guilty one bit. I don't really want to go home that night."Hmm, alright then."A
When I was about five years old, I can remember how my parents would argue all the time. It eventually led to physical violence, and sometimes I get hurt as well. It was really scary for a child to experience something like that from his own parents.If I remember well, the one who's most at fault for all the arguments was mom. Dad would always come home late and drunk, then mom will start to complain. They argue, fight, and mess up the house."Stop telling me what to do, woman!""I told you a million times already, haven't I?! Stop getting yourself drunk whenever you go home!""Shut up and lock yourself in a room. Seeing your face ruins my mood!""Why, you!… you should be the one locking yourself in a room! You're a wretched mess!"&nb
Since I was kicked out of school, the only place I can stay at was at my mother's house. It sickens me to go back there but I have no other choice. "Hm. And what do you think you're doing here?" Mom asked. Just when I arrived, I didn't expect to see her outside the house to water the plants. Usually, she fools with every man she brings home most of the time. "I'll be here for a few days, I'll leave as soon as I find another place to stay at." "Heh, I heard you were kicked out of school." "None of your business." I just ignored her comments and got inside the house. Seeing this place only reminded me of the past I always wished to forget. Every room, every corner… it was all too disturbing for me. After opening the lock on my room, it was just like how
That was it.Everything is over.I no longer have anything to do with him. When I got back from the hospital, I learned that Yuji's father had storm at my place and took all of Yuji's belonging. They said he'll transfer his son onto another school because of me, though he had never mentioned to the faculty the reasons. But rumors seem to have already spread because of Yuu."How disgusting! The school should expel him.""Is it really that guy?!""I heard he was sexually assaulting his roommate, that's why the father of the victim took away his son.""That fag is a scum!"Many people kept whispering behind my back as I walk on the hallways. I couldn't care less about what they s
As the sun rises, Toma immediately went to the hospital for Yuji. He hopes to see him conscious when he arrives, though it was unfortunate that he found Yuji still sleeping. He also discovered something worse, his worries on Yuji has double.Toma quickly calls for help and as the doctor arrived, things were explained to him. "…we have seen this through our observation on the patient last night. These tiny red spots you see on his skin is called petechiea. It's a symptom for many diseases. We're currently testing from which disease it comes from.""How come I was not told about this!? I—" the doctor cuts him off before he could throw a fit."We have already informed his father sir. We thought you must have been informed through him."Toma was stunned to know that Yuji's father didn't told hi
"…Yuji." Toma muttered while he was sitting on a chair near Yuji's bed. When Yuji was admitted to the hospital, he stayed beside him the whole time after he settled things with Yuu at the police station. He also informed Yuji's dad about the situation because he needed extra hands on this.Toma can't keep his eyes off Yuji's broken hands. It pains him to see that it was wrapped in thick bandages because the doctor told him that every bone in his hands were broken into bits. This would mean that Yuji won't be able to use his hands anymore, he can imagine how devastated Yuji will be when he finds out about his hand.'That damn Yuu. I'll get him for this.' He suddenly wished he beaten up Yuu just as bad as how Yuji was beaten—no, he wanted to double the pain, because aside from Yuji he was also hurt to see the one he love like this.Th
Toma was greatly bothered when Yuji got to the campus earlier than him. It made him doubt that Yuji might have been troubled by something, and it annoyed the hell out of him that he can't figure what it was."Haa. I lost interest attending first class." He muttered.And so he spent most of his time laying on his bed, reminiscing about the cheerful times he had with Yuji. Now that Yuji's gone to school, he never felt this lonely before. He tries to find comfort in every memory he shared with Yuji.When he got bored of it, he decided to have lunch at his favorite restaurant. But on his way there, he encountered a familiar face, though he wasn't noticed by this other fellow. It was Yuu. One of his acquaintances, though he was mostly ignored by Yuu because he seemed more interested in Yuji."Wait…" b