I sleep well. My furry wolven teddy-bear seems to have been just the thing to quiet my chaotic thoughts. I wake well rested but with a sense of dread. I have to face the orchestra again today. I’m sure everything will die down eventually, but right now I feel as if I am waiting to have salt thrown into fresh wounds.
I have less figurative wounds to worry about. I extract myself from the duvet and the wolf- and there is something I could never have imagined happening not much more than a week ago- and peer at Frost’s belly. The scabs look old, and are starting to peel. They probably itch, but he’s not scratching at them, just peering at me sleepily and thumping his tail on the sofa when I run my hands through his fur. Frost is a bit of an attention-junkie, I think as I remember my younger brothers and sisters clustered around him.
“Breakfast on four legs or two?” I ask him, the end of my question almost lost in the huge yawn that cracks my jaw. “I can find yo
I’m guessing my face is bright red. It feels hot enough to cook an egg on it. It’s not often I feel like disowning my own wolf, but Frost seems to be aiming to get me there. I have to speak, all the same. I think part of the reason Sarah was so angry with me was that we haven’t talked enough about things to understand each other properly. It’s hard, it’s really, really hard, but I’m doing my best to talk now. I could curl up into a ball and die of embarrassment, but I’m doing my best. She’s gone sort of distant, but not in a bad way. Her feelings are kind of fuzzy, out of focus. Distracted. It’s probably because of what I just told her, not about her orchestra. That was a different sort of distraction. Worried, guilty and angry. We should hunt them all down and make them pay, Frost tells me. Then she wouldn’t have an orchestra to play with, I point out to him. I think she likes making music. She just doesn’t like how they’re treating her
The flat seems empty with Aiden gone, yet twelve hours ago I was not at all sure that I ever wanted to see him again. Twenty-four hours ago, I was terrified for his life. I’m self-aware enough to know that my feelings about him, and my reactions to him, have swung alarmingly from one extreme to the other and back within only a handful of time. It seems we have had no time to just exist around each other. No time to do all the mundane and everyday things that allow two people to learn about each other. Every time we stop to draw breath, some other calamity befalls one of us.I do not have time to slow down even now. I start up my laptop to confirm my recollections of the names Aiden mentioned, and to find out how many of yesterday’s adventures have made it into news and social media. The names in my spreadsheet match my memory. It makes sense, I suppose, that vampires are as diverse as the humans they prey on, and that they have their own rivalries among themselves
I haven’t thought this through properly. I’ve been thinking like a werewolf, not like a human. I shouldn’t even be here. I should be at the college office, letting them know I’m safe and I’m back. I don’t know how much Reese knows or guesses. The only person from college who knows I’m a werewolf, that I’m sure of, is Shelley. Jade too, if she manages to find a way to come back. I should have checked with Shelley to find out if she’s told Reese anything.“Did you know that werewolves run a degree or two hotter than humans?” Reese asks. They’re trying to sound casual, but I can pick up the tension in them. They’ve got something tucked in their hand and sleeve. There’s silver on them, somewhere. I can sense it, all werewolves can, but I haven’t been paying attention since I got to London. So many people wear silver jewellery that the sense would be bugging me the whole time if I didn’
“Make. Them. Stop!” Watch his chest. I remember my instructor’s voice. Watch his chest, not his hands or his eyes. The chest telegraphs your opponent’s moves. I don’t want to give away how much training I’ve had, but I’m not about to let Amos hit me. His hand, clenched in my clothes, bunches more tightly. I relax and let my weight sink into my toes. “Stop it!” The demand is snapped at us from right beside us. Francesca has come storming up to us, waving her mobile phone. “Back off, Amos, or I’m calling the police to report an assault in progress.” Amos’s head turns abruptly to glare at Francesca, but he doesn’t let go of me or lower his other hand. “It’s not an assault-” “Looks like assault from here,” Francesca says, starting to tap numbers in on her phone. “Where’s your fist, Amos? What exactly is it doing there?” It’s still in the air, and it might still come my way. I’m not taking my eyes off hi
“Seriously?” Reese looks like they just found a winning lottery ticket stuck to their shoe. “My parents would really, really hate that. I’d love to! So… do you have to ask permission, or are you the Alpha?” “I’m not Alpha,” I say automatically, then heave a sigh. “But people keep putting me in charge anyway.” Reese gives me a weird look. “So… you are the Alpha?” “It’s complicated. I don’t have a proper werewolf Pack. There’s a London Pack that asked me to join, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to so I didn’t. Then… well, long story, and that Pack’s miles away anyway. The only other werewolf who might count as Pack keeps calling me ‘boss’,
The complaint to HR doesn’t take long, but it serves as a distraction. A distraction from the problem I now have. I should laugh at myself for it: suddenly having my friends back has presented me with more of a problem than suddenly being without them. I had all but made up my mind to leave the orchestra. The music is not exclusive to the Britannia. I could readily find orchestral work elsewhere, if I wished. I have other options. The company was one of the reasons to stay, and without that it was a much less desirable possibility. If I leave now, it will be so much harder to keep in touch with Francesca and Holly. Charlotte. Amos. The others who, with that one rather large road-bump and a few notable exceptions, have been companionship and support for a long time now. Aiden will be staying in London for years, of course, if he keeps up with college. Th
What I’d really like to do is to get home… to get back to Sarah, and talk things over with her. What Reese and I have come up with, between us, could become huge. It’ll need her support, because the ghosts will be part of it too, and Blackmarsh. Not directly, not if they don’t want to be, but it’s bound to have some sort of effect. If one group of vampires has thought to infiltrate the place, it’s likely other groups will have the same idea. What I have to do instead is get on with the day at college. I take myself to the office and let them know I’m back, then get with the timetable. That means tutor group. I wish I’d remembered sooner. Everyone is full of questions. What happened, where’s Jade, do the police know? Mrs Bird is brisk about it rather than motherly. Guess that’s a good thing. I haven’t had anyone be properly motherly over me for years. Even my mother treated us more like adults than k
There is no race tonight. No contest. Neither of the pieces are extraordinarily demanding. They are not easy, of course, but nor are any of them beyond the skill of any reasonably proficient musician. Despite this, I can feel weariness tugging at me by the end. Or perhaps because of it, and not in spite of it. An audience can fill you with its energy and carry you along if they are caught up in the performance. If they are merely observers, the performers carry all the weight.The rave reviews for the previous night will not have affected audience numbers. The tickets will have been sold days or weeks ago. It may have set the audience expectations, however. We set the bar very high with that little tiff. Ironic that anger and misery should produce a result greater than that of accord and peace.“I think I’d rather be playing your piece,”