Chapter one

LIANNA POV

 The first time I thought about killing myself was the night of my mating ceremony.

 I married the Alpha of my pack, Ethan and I thought I had hit the jackpot. 

 When we first found out we were mates, he was second in line and his brother Sebastian who happened to be my friend was to be the Alpha.

  Everyone congratulated me and told me how lucky I was to mate with a beta, but that didn’t matter to me, even if he was very poor, it wouldn’t have changed my love for him because his status didn’t matter to me. All I was after was his love. Lianna and Ethan, forever together.

 I couldn’t stop my tears as I closed my eyes reflecting on the past. I heard my wolf whimper and tried to comfort me.

 I was nineteen when I first met Ethan, he was studying abroad and had just graduated, and we quickly realized we were fated mates. Handsome and charming at 24 he instantly swept me off my feet, he was everything I dreamed of and my wolf and I couldn’t be happier. 

 That night I thanked the goddess for blessing me with him as I fell asleep with a huge smile on my face.

 My parents met with his uncle who was the acting Alpha to pick a date for the mating ceremony since his parents died fighting a battle against Vampires a decade ago.

  We coexisted with humans but vampires and witches were a different case, but thankfully the witches were now extinct.

  Before the ceremony everything was perfect, and It was like a dream come true for me. He took me out on dates and told me how beautiful I was. 

 He surprised me with gifts, cooked for me, listened to me as I told him the kind of lawyer I wanted to be, and he assured me that despite my age I was going to pass the bar.

 Despite us not living together yet, we were always together, he couldn’t stay away from me.

 I never knew how it felt to be in love.

 And I was drunk in love.

 A few months before the date we chose for the ceremony my parents were killed on their trip by rogue werewolves who were working with vampires. 

 I was so devastated and my wolf went dormant for weeks, but Ethan was there, reminding me that I had him and that he would always be by my side. And he was until he wasn’t.

 Sebastian mysteriously disappeared and so Ethan was made Alpha of the pack. He moved up the mating ceremony and that night we swore our oaths in front of the moon goddess's whole pack. I was so happy it made me dizzy.

 We went back to our private quarters and I waited for him in the bed, staring at the white sheets covered with white roses till I fell asleep.

 The same thing happened in the nights that followed and when I tried to talk to him he promised me the next night would be different.

 After a few weeks, I got tired, I got a lingerie and tried to seduce him.

 I walked into the room he slept in and tried to touch him.

  The next thing I remembered was waking up the next morning with dried blood on my forehead and my wolf howling in pain.

 “You hit me,” I said in disbelief when he walked into the room.

 “It’s just a scratch.” He said, completely indifferent and threw a bottle of aspirin on the bed and it landed on white sheets I have now come to hate.

 “You didn’t even take me to a hospital.” I couldn’t control the tears that fell from my eyes. Even though I was healed due to my werewolf genes, my head still ached a lot.

 “Do not provoke me.” He said in a tone I had never heard from him before.

 “Why?” I asked. Confused and hurt both in my head and my heart. 

 Where was the man who wrote love songs for me, the man who carried me 12 miles when my wolf was dormant because my heel broke and I couldn’t shift?

 “I will not have my brother’s leftovers. And this is the last time you will ever question me.” He warned me.

  I didn’t even understand what he meant, but I couldn’t say a word even as my wolf snarled at me to do something. The man in front of me wasn’t who I fell in love with. The man in front of me was scary.

 It’s been a year now I was a lonely loser with one friend, Annalise. Worst of all, I had to sneak out of the house if I wanted to see her.

  He didn’t let me go anywhere, I couldn’t even go for a run which made my wolf weaker and weaker. He was determined to keep me locked up in the house like his dirty secret.

 Just like the other times, I made sure to go back home at least two hours before he was supposed to be home.

 He wouldn't be back from the pack council meeting for at least another two hours. Or so I thought as I headed back home.

 When I got home I saw that the car he left with wasn’t there, since he usually gets so drunk his body refuses to morph I unlocked the front door quickly and ran up the stairs to change back into the clothes I was wearing before he left before I went to the kitchen to make him his favourite meal since today was our anniversary.

 Even though he always reminds me of what a failure I am, I still try to make things work.

 He told all his friends and anyone who would listen about how I failed the bar exam even though he was the one who stopped me from writing it.

 I opened my bedroom door my I froze. Ethan was there sitting on my bed with a malicious smile on his face.

 "E-Ethan, you're back early." I stammered, scared of what he'd do to me.

 "What? Did I ruin your perfect plan?" He stood up and walked towards me with his fist clenched in anger. "Take every chance you get to disrespect me! I’m your Alpha!”

 "N-no I just went to see my friend. I'm sorry." I quickly apologized as he approached me.

  He smelt like a woman's perfume that wasn’t mine. And I should be used to it by now, I’m pretty sure he had fucked half of the pack and every time he did it I felt it behind my ribcage due to our mating bond, the telltale sign of his betrayal.

 "Give me some aspirin you bitch!" He yelled as he staggered back into the room and dropped on the bed.

  I quickly went to the medicine cabinet in his bathroom to get the painkillers and a bottle of methylated spirit to clean the bruises I saw on his knuckles.

  I went back to my room to give it to him and he swallowed the pill dry.

 "Do you need ice for your eye?" I asked as I noticed his eye was starting to swell.

 "You would like that, wouldn't you? To see me suffering." 

 "I just asked if you wanted some ice to help with the" I tried to explain but he cut me short.

 "Say any more shit to me and I’ll break bones.” 

 I kept quiet. I knew it wasn’t an idle threat, he had done it before. At least my wolf genes kicked in and I got better in a few days but this time, I dared not risk it. 

 Since I became his Luna, I can count on one finger how many times my wolf has been let out.

  Werewolves are supposed to morph and let their wolves. Except for the whimpers and sad frustrated howls now and then she’s barely there. If he carries out his threats I would be in pain for months. 

 “Fucking bitch can’t hold her tongue.” He muttered but loud enough for me to hear.

  The words hurt me even though I should be used to the way he treats me by now but every time it's a fresh wave of pain that washes over me as I hear the man who is supposed to be the love of my life tell me how much I disgust him.

  How did I get here?

  At first, he still pretended while we were out in public but eventually, he stopped caring who was looking while he showed me exactly how he felt about me.

  And now he had turned the people of the pack against me. He told them lies about me and they believed him. I used to be a social butterfly but everyone avoids me now on rare occasions he lets me out of the house.

 "Can I see your hand?" I asked quietly as tears rolled down my cheeks. He stretched the hand that had the bruised knuckles in my direction but his face suddenly turned green.

 "Bathroom quickly," I said urgently knowing he was about to throw up again but he smiled through the nausea and looked at me.

 "Why bother when I have perfectly good trash here." Before I could understand his meaning, Ethan came closer to me and vomited the contents of his stomach all over my body.

 I was the trash.

 I ran into the bathroom and cried and screamed while scrubbing my body hoping if I washed hard enough I could erase the memory.

 By the time I came out of the bathroom, my eyes were swollen and red but at least Ethan was gone, I didn’t know where but I couldn’t careless. 

 I put on my clothes and after I searched the house to make sure he wasn't around I went back to my room to clean it up trying hard not to remember what had happened. 

 I was about to crawl under my blanket when I heard the door open. He was back already. I decided to pretend I was sleeping but he kept yelling my name. I got out of bed and went downstairs where his voice was coming from and for the second time that day, I froze.

 Standing next to my husband was Freya, his high school girlfriend. He kept pictures of her in the house so I knew who she was. I can't believe he brought home his ex on our anniversary of all days. Was I so terrible that he would rather sleep around than touch me?

 "Freya, this is Lianna the maid," my heart sank aside when I heard him introduce me to his wife as a maid. "And Lianna, this is Freya, the love of my life and the mother of my unborn pup."

 "What?" What was he trying to say?

 "You heard right, she's pregnant with my child."

 I fell to the floor out of shock and they both laughed at me. I knew it was stupid but a part of me always hoped that we could fix this marriage.

 "I don't understand," I murmured. Why me? Why is this happening to me?

 "In case It's not obvious, you may be my wife by name but this is my real Luna and I expect you to treat her that way if you value your miserable life."

  My ears rang and the tears wouldn't stop flowing from my eyes as my heart got shattered repeatedly.

  "Freya, Lianna here is for all purposes your maid, whatever you need her for, massaging your feet or washing your clothes, and my personal favourite is taking care of sick people." He laughed at me as I remembered what he had done to me.

 "No," I muttered, " I couldn't do this anymore. I imagined the kind of life I would have serving and cleaning up after my husband's mistress would be ten times worse than what I was currently facing with him.

 "No?" He smirked.

 "I want . . . Please, reject me.” It was the first time I ever said those words out loud.

 I held on to this sham of a marriage because I believed I had a duty to my people and the moon goddess but I couldn’t do this anymore if I stayed on it was only a matter of time before he killed me. And what good would I be to anyone if I was dead?

  There was a glint in his eyes that made it obvious he planned this, but why not just reject me? Why keep me even though he hated me?

 “I, Alpha Ethan, reject you Lianna; with the moon goddess as my witness.”

 “I, Lianna-“ my voice broke as I sobbed, all my life had gone down the drain, I had nothing left, not family, not even a career. 

 Before I wondered what could have happened if I never met Ethan, my train of thought was cut short by his hand at my throat. He pulled me up as I sputtered and choked. 

 “Don’t waste my time.” He threatened before he realised me, leaving me gasping for breath. All the while Freya looked satisfied.

 “I, Lianna, accept your rejection, with the moon goddess as my witness.” 

 I felt the snap inside me, as though a thread was cut in half, it burned like hell. I was free, and it hurt.