Chapter Seventy-Seven

Regan’s POV

After the revelation I had received from the Luna, I found it hard to summon the courage to face the Alpha.

Early the next morning, Luke came into my room for answers to the reason behind my abnormal behavior.

I had just finished writing to my mate when there was a knock on my room door and the door came open a moment later to reveal him.

I simply glanced at him and went ahead to seal my letter to my mate.

“What brings you here so early?” I asked him, acting as though I did not already know why he had come.

“What was that about?” He asked, getting straight to the point.

“I have no idea as to what you might be talking about”, I said, pretending to be clueless.

From the corner of my eye, I could see him turn to me.

I felt his glare burning into the side of my face that was turned to him.

“You insulted a powerful Alpha who had graciously received us into his pack, and before many witnesses at that”, he listed. “And then stormed off after a pathetic apology that I am sure was solely directed at the Luna alone”, he reminded. “And as though that was not surprising enough, I came after you, waiting for you to return from your run when the said Luna came out and offered to wait in my stead, saying she had something of importance to discuss with you”, he said before moving closer to me.

“I have held my tongue and been patient enough”, he said. “I need answers and I need them now”, he demanded.

I turned to face him, opening my mouth to continue my denial when he spoke again.

“I am in no mood to be treated like a fool”, he said. “If you wish to keep acting oblivious then I will walk away and never ask again”, he said firmly, no sign of laughter in sight. “And I will expect you to be just as understanding when I do the same”, he added.

I knew his threat for what it was.

It was also clear for me to see that he meant every word he had spoken. So, seeing as he was in no mood to be teased, I decided to tell him the truth.

“Do you remember when we had those important guests from a far away pack visit when we were little?” I asked him, moving to sit on my bed after putting the letter away.

He looked thoughtful for a moment, trying to recall what I was talking about.

After a while, he slowly nodded.

“I believe it was a relative?” He said. “Your grandfather or something of the sort?”, he asked.

I nodded.

“Not my grandfather per say”, I corrected. “But again, I suppose since he raised him for a while as his son, it perhaps qualifies him in some manner”, I added on a second thought.

“Anyway”, I went on. “That very important guest is the Alpha of this pack, and I have resented him for years for not visiting after my father’s death”, I confessed.

Luke looked very confused.

“Why?” He asked, as though the answer to a reason like that could never exist.

“Because”, I said, realizing just how childish my actions were from only the look on Luke’s face. “My father always spoke highly of him and truly looked up to him. He held him in the highest regard and he could not even honor him enough to have shown up to his funeral after his death”, I said, feeling somewhat embarrassed.

Luke slowly nodded. “So you were angry with him for not coming to make sure you were doing okay”, he said, as if a sudden realization had dawned on him.

I turned to him with a glare.

“That is not what I said”, I said.

From where he stood, he smiled at me. “That is what it sounded like to me”, he said.

“Well it is not”, I snapped, turning away. “Besides, I was young and foolish”, I said.

“And needing someone to help make you feel less alone”, he added, his smile now replaced with a sad look. “You had lost your family after all”, he said.

Knowing he was right but not willing to show it, I changed the topic.

“Last night”, I said. “The Luna revealed the reason he could not come to me”, I told him.

He waited patiently for me to continue.

“He could come because they had lost their daughter on the very same day they had received the news of my father”, I told him. “It was revealed that she was very close to my father and had lost her mate around that time as well. The news of my father’s death had been the last straw for her”, I said. “He had been preparing to come when he received the news of his daughter as well”, I told him. “The shock of it all had left him in the wheelchair we saw him in till date”.

Luke was silent for a long moment.

So was I. I did not know what else to say.

Finally he spoke.

“It would seem that you owe the Alphaa great apology then”, he said, looking pointedly at me.

I nodded in agreement.

“Perhaps you could find him and do so before the morning meal”, he suggested.

I looked up at him, about to tell him that I did not know where to find him, when he continued.

“I happened to see him in his wife’s garden not too long ago when I was returning from my run”, he said, and leveled me with a look that left me with very little choice.

Sighing hard, I rose to my feet.

“Very well”, I said before leaving him behind in the room to go in search of the Alpha.

I found him exactly where Luke had said he was, in the Lina’s garden, after asking for directions from some of the pack members I had come across.

He was watching the birds and butterflies, seated on his wheelchair under a tree.

Taking a deep breath to summon courage, I slowly made my way over to him.

“Good morning, Alpha”, I greeted and cleared my throat.

“Good morning, Alpha”, he responded without even turning to look at me.

Strangely, I began to feel nervous of the situation.

I cleared my throat once more before speaking again.

“I believe I owe you an apology, Alpha”, I said. “For what happened at dinner”, o clarified. “You have been kind and gracious enough to welcome us into your home and I insulted your integrity with my words and manner”, I said. “I ask that you forgive me”, I requested.

He was silent for only a short moment before he responded.

“There is nothing to forgive”, he said. “And if there is, then it is forgiven”, he told me.

I bowed in respect, even though he never faced me.

“Thank you”, I said before turning to walk away.

I took two steps before coming to a halt again.

My behavior the previous night had not been the only thing I needed to apologize for.

Knowing this, I turned around again and walked back to where I had stood before.

“Alpha”, I said solemnly. “I have come to understand that I owe you more than one apology”, I said, certain that he was listening.

I took a deep breath before I spoke again.

“I am sorry that I resented you all these years”, I said remorsefully. “I had never seen my father like that before and I apologize for my childish expectations when I did not know your reason”, I said before adding. “I have just come to understand why I behaved that way. I was just a child and had lost my family”, I confided. “I suppose a part of me knew you were family and tried to hold on for fear of being alone”, I confessed.

This time, he was quiet for a long time, and a part of me was sure he would never respond.

But he did.

“I do not blame you for resenting me”, he said, finally. “For a long time I resented myself, blamed myself”, he said. “If only I had remained in your pack longer, I wonder if I could have saved your family”, he said.

“If only I had not left when I did, perhaps your father would still be alive”, he said, looking far away as though he was simply thinking aloud. “Perhaps Rhaia would not have died. Perhaps I could have both my children among the living”, he said.

I stood, shocked at the weight of his guilt.

He blamed himself for what had happened.

But I could understand. I had blamed myself at the time, but not for long.

Nana had helped me understand that it was beyond my control.

But it seemed the Alpha had not come to understand that yet.

“It is not your fault”, I told him.

From the empty smile that appeared on his face, I could tell that he did not believe me.

“Perhaps if you had been there”, I told him. “You could have died as well”, I said. “Then perhaps your daughter may have died from the shock of loosing both you and my father like that”, I told him. “But what happens to your mate? What would have become of her to have lost everyone like that?” I asked.

“I am certain she does not resent or blame you for anything that happened”, I told him. “I never blamed you for what happened”, I said. “I only wished you were there so I did not feel so alone”, I said. “But I was fine. It turned out that I was not alone after all”.

He remains silent, so I walked around to stand before him, only to hold my breath in surprise when I saw the tears that fell from his eyes.

Feeling my eyes begin to sting, I went on my knee before him and took one of his hands in mine.

“I did not know your daughter”, I told him. “But I knew my father. And I know that he adored you”, I said. “I know that it would break his heart to see you in pain, to have you live in torment of something that was beyond your control”, I said. “You need to forgive yourself and heal. If not for your sake, then for mine”, I said to him.

“I need you strong, to fight by me”, I told him. “You know very well, the pain of loosing one’s child”, I said. “Help me so that I never know that pain”, I pleaded.

I brought my other hand to hold his in both on mine and squeeze.

“Help me protect my son”, I pleaded, feeling the tears in my eyes. “I need you”, I told him.

He looked at me with tears in his eyes before nodding.

“I will protect him with my life”, he said. “Just as I will protect you with all that I own”, he said, a small smile coming onto his face as he squeezed my hands.

I was relieved to feel the strength in them.

“Thank you”, I said. “Grandfather”.

His smile widened, a tear escaping his eyes and sliding down his cheek.

I withdrew one of my hand from his and brought it up to catch the tear before it fell.

As I brought my hand back down, he spoke.

“You look just like him”, he said, staring at me.

I smiled.

“I am his son”, I said. “Though I have my mother’s eyes”, I told him.

He nodded, a chuckle escaping him.

“Indeed you do, Regan”, he said, bringing his other hand to pat mine.

I spoke and laughed with him, feeling a weight I had carried for years finally being lifted off my shoulders.