Changes

Edward

After Beatrice left the mansion, I walked to the bar almost in the center of my living room and poured a shot of my most expensive whisky into a glass, downing the entire contents in a single fiery gulp.

I manage to maintain a neutral expression, but inside, the only prevailing feeling is the purest and most genuine relief.

One thing is certain—I wasn't the least bit sad about Beatrice's decision to leave. Our marriage was merely a business contract, something I did solely out of consideration for my father's old friend.

Once upon a time, I harbored a strong passion for Beatrice, but everything changed when I found her kissing her cousin Sebastian. That night, I realized their feelings were not just those of friendship or cousinly love. They felt something more for each other, and the biggest proof of that fact was the kiss I witnessed them exchange in Beatrice's garden.

I had spoken to Beatrice that day, congratulating her on her eighteenth birthday and promising to be in Kent for the celebration. I planned to declare my feelings for Beatrice and ask her to be my girlfriend. My feelings were so deep that I even idealized our engagement; once she finished college, we could get married. All of this turned out to be just an illusion.

I can say with certainty that I always felt something different for Beatrice, but our five-year age difference made me fear our families wouldn't accept it well. Thinking that way, I decided to patiently wait for Beatrice's eighteenth birthday. My disappointment was immense when I realized someone else seemed to have had the same idea.

I always suspected Sebastian's feelings for Beatrice, but I never believed she could reciprocate those feelings. I was wrong.

But there's no use dwelling on the past. What matters now is that I'm free to live my life the way I want. I no longer need to avoid my own home, all to prevent myself from being carried away again by the illusion created by the emotion of being so close to Beatrice.

I confess I don't understand what prevents Beatrice and Sebastian from acknowledging their feelings for each other, but that doesn't concern me. Now she's free again, nothing stops her from living her love now that she's an adult woman and in charge of her own life. Meanwhile, I intend to make the most of my life.

Before, however, I need to suppress the news about the situation and prevent any newspaper in the country from talking about this matter. I don't want my name associated with any scandal; after all, I have a business reputation to uphold, and my personal life is my concern.

I managed to keep the news of my divorce from being disclosed, and from that day on, I began to have the best bachelor life a man could dream of, with the most beautiful women in the country passing through my bed—something I couldn't enjoy while married, out of respect for my wife. Even now, I still maintain discretion in my casual relationships, despite being a free man.

No matter that my thoughts always lead me to Beatrice, and I keep her under constant surveillance. I just want to ensure that she is well and doesn't need my help.

Learning that she chose to stay in London at a friend's house left me concerned. I contacted a business partner and asked for a favor. Joel Smith owns a major newspaper in Britain and promptly complied with my request, securing a reporter position at his newspaper for Beatrice. I always knew about her dream of being an international correspondent; however, I made it clear to Smith to keep her in the city. No trips for my ex-wife.

When the divorce papers arrived at my office, for some reason I couldn't understand, I simply tossed them into the paper shredder without even thinking twice. I didn't intend to make our separation difficult, but I still don't believe it's the right time to formalize it.

When the lawyer asked about the papers, I simply let him know that I would think about it at another time. He shouldn't mention it to Beatrice. He would do what I commanded.

Beatrice

With a feeling of irreparable loss corroding me from within and carrying only a single, lonely suitcase, I arrive at the house of my best friend Janet, who awaits me in the mansion's living room where she lives with her husband.

I would live with a couple of friends for some time until I found a suitable apartment for myself, and being with them would be very good for me because I loved them, and I had always been warmly welcomed into that house.

Upon entering the majestic living room of my friends' imposing mansion, Janet already awaits me with open arms, ready to welcome me and help me in such a painful moment of my life, and I promptly accept her affection.

“All of this will pass, Beatrice,” she says, trying to console me.

“It hurts so much, Janet,” I confess, letting the tears follow their continuous flow. “How will I live without Edward?”

“How have you been living until now, my friend?” Janet says, squeezing her embrace around me even tighter. “Edward has never really been present in your life. He's always so careless and distant.”

Although those words hurt me a lot, they are entirely true, and I could only be grateful for the support I was receiving from my dear friend.

“But I will help you, and you will overcome this very difficult moment in your life, Beatrice. You'll see!” Janet, like me, is a very optimistic person, and I need that encouragement now. 

I needed to believe that everything would be okay.

“And how did Edward react when you asked for the divorce?” Janet wants to know, looking at me expectantly.

“He doesn't care,” I tell her, feeling the sadness settle in me. “But I prefer not to talk about my husband anymore, Janet. I need to forget that I ever loved him.”

With that decision in mind, I strengthened myself enough to face the following days, which I am aware will not be easy at all, but at no point did I believe they would be.

My friend led me to the room she made available for me, where I would stay until I found my place to live, and she showed me where to put all my things.

“I brought only the same things I took, Janet,” I tell her, explaining why I only brought one suitcase.

“No problem, I understand you.” she comforts me. “But I have some clothes arranged for you. I already imagined that, after all, Janet always considered the way I dress too discreet and colorless and kept trying to convince me to be a bit more daring.”

“Thank you for receiving me and helping me.” I thank her, hugging her once again.

After putting away the few belongings, I look at the few photos I have with me, all taken on our wedding day, and remember how painful and distressing that last year was, living alongside a man who didn't love me. Even though I knew I was never loved by my husband, I touched Edward's face in the photo with tenderness, but soon pushed them to the back of any drawer, as those memories did not do me well. However, I didn't dare to throw all of them in the trash.

Who knows, maybe one day, shortly, I will be able to overcome that unrequited love and finally get rid of those photos, I think. I thought about my family, and how difficult it is to deal with my father's illness, and to avoid bringing more problems to them, I decided not to return to Kent. I have managed to finish my journalism course, and now I intend to work in the field. I would try to find a job and postpone the moment of truth as much as possible. The fact is that deciding something is very easy; the difficult part was lying in bed and not thinking about the great love of my life and everything we had experienced together.