5

There was an acute pain in my heart like it was a tangible force. I felt my lips quibble with pain as I slowly crashed to the floor. It was in that moment that strong hands hoisted me towards him. I angled my face to the side as I stared right at Cancil. He had a small smile on his lips, which instantly put me at ease.

“Are you all right?” He asked softly.

I wanted to speak, but words could not easily be formed. Internally, I screamed for him to get me out of there. I felt like a puppet at an exhibition. It made me want to hide somewhere, and never come out again. These people were a part of my pack, yet they didn’t care about my feelings. It was not like it was a surprise, but still…

“Come,” Cancil said this time with all firmness.

He helped me to my feet, and lightly placed his arm around my waist. I leaned closer to him, and allowed him lead me out of the tense field. The rumours seemed to breakout at that exact moment, and I blocked my ears to the words they said.

As we walked through the forest, Cancil remained quiet, leaving me to my thoughts. But, honestly, I didn’t want to think. I just wanted to feel. The fact that my heart felt it had been split into two was alarming, but I welcomed the sting. If I didn’t feel pain, I would be worried.

The rejection scene kept playing in my head, even as we rounded a dicey corner. Eros was the meanest Alpha I had ever met in my whole life, and I wished with all I had that he hadn’t been my mate.

“Don’t be sad,” Cancil said suddenly.

I turned my gaze at him, and watched as his jaw ticked. He turned to me like he had felt my gaze on his, and I quickly averted my eyes as I watched a squirrel dart past us.

“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” I managed.

He hummed in understanding, and said nothing. I tried hard to blink back the tears that threatened to fall. This man who wasn’t even from our pack, was being so kind to me. It was such a weird moment, and I had no idea what to think about it.

“Let’s sit here, so we don’t stray too far from the pack,” he suggested.

I nodded, and noted that we were at a garden.I couldn’t even bring myself to note the beauty of the vegetation. My heater was heavy and I felt completely lost. Moving away from the whole festivity didn’t seem to help me.

“Here,” Cancil said softly as he gestured at the bench.

He released the hands on my waist at once, and I nodded my thanks, while sitting on the bench which faced a small stream at the far end. I twisted my hands around my middle trying to chase the cold, pain and fear away.

“Do you always stick your lip between your teeth like a child?” Cancil asked suddenly.

I blinked, as I looked up at him. “Excuse me? What?” I asked in confusion.

He smiled, causing his brows to twinkle. His fingers gestured to my lips. “You’ve been doing that for some time now, and I wondered if you weren’t feeling the least uncomfortable.”

I turned away from him, feeling my cheeks flame hot in embarrassment. At such a situation, he found it appropriate to tease me? Plus, I had no idea that I stuck my lips between my teeth. I shook my head at the whole thing.

“Please, Cancil, I’m not in the mood to exchange banter with you,” I mumbled as politely as I could.

He sobered at once, but didn’t leave. Instead his quiet presence could be felt at the thick of the night. We sat down like that for about 10 minutes, when I turned back to the area where we left. The wolves were still there, and they were spinning about in a circle as their laughters reached to the moon goddess. It felt as though they were mocking me.

“I could speak, if you don’t wish to say a word,” Cancil said suddenly.

I reluctantly pulled my gaze off the festivities and turned to Cancil. He wasn’t grinning, but it felt like he wished to do that. I sighed slightly, as I felt the calm strings of feelings in my heart for him. It was more subtle that Eros had being, but I shook it off as friendship.

“If you wish to, then you can go ahead,” I said calmly.

His lips finally broke out in a grin. “Of course, Sira. I’m going to tell you a story, and you will forget all about your pain in no time.”

I cocked my head to the side, in a bit to humour him. He took the bait like I knew he would, and launched into a story about two wolves. I was only half listening to it, but still the sound of Cancil’s voice slowly put me at ease.

I smiled when he did, and even tried to laugh, though it sounded weird even to my ears. I figured that if I actually laughed, I would simply burst into tears. So, I stuck the fake smiles and tried my best to look invested in what he was saying.

“Cancil, I have taken too much of your time. I have to get going,” I said abruptly, stopping him mid-sentence.

He nodded in understanding. “It was a pleasure being here with you, Sira. I know that it’s not my place to talk, but I have to say something,” he breathed out.

I sighed. “What is it?”

He placed a hand on my arm, as he looked at me intently. “None of what happened back there is your fault, so please don’t blame yourself,” he said softly.

I placed a hand on my lips to bring down the sob that bobbled to my throat, but some of it escaped, shaming me badly. I hated to be weak, but that exactly what I was. Maybe, that was why Eros wanted nothing to do with me.

I felt Cancil’s hand squeeze my hands tightly. Without thinking, I pulled into his arm, and sobbed hard on his chest. My head felt like it would explode.

“It will be all right. The only thing that is clear is that your Alpha must have been crazy to reject you. It’s his loss and not yours,” Cancil mumbled quietly.

I cried on him for another minute, and pulled back, staring into his face. His quiet strength slowly absorbed itself into me. I knew then that I had to be brave, though I had no idea how it would happen.t The whole pack were going to make fun of me more than ever because of the rejection. It was a weird thing since they hated me, and I was pretty sure they wouldn’t have wished that I become their Luna. Still, company liked misery. So, they wanted me to be miserable.

I closed my eyes slightly, and then, reopened them slowly. Cancil was still holding me, and looking at me with kindness. He was so different from Eros. I had not known him for long, but he had been there for me, picking me up, and dusting my clothes when no-one would come close to me, and for that, I was immensely grateful.

“Thank you, Cancil.” I withdrew myself from him, and got to my feet. “Maybe, we would meet again,” I said softly.

“Maybe,” he said softly, and trailed off, looking right at me.

I couldn’t bear it anymore as I turned my back, skittering into the forest. I shivered against the cold and harsh pain that I had been forced to bear. Everything felt like it would crash down on me soon, but I tried to be brave.

I looked at the distance, and I could see Eros moving away from the crowd. Then, suddenly he turned towards my direction, and I felt like he could see me standing against the harsh winds and the long trees. I stared at him, but couldn’t read him from where I was. With a grunt, he left the area he stood.

My eyes misted over. Did he see me? Werewolves had sharp eyes, and he was the Alpha, so maybe he  did. I couldn’t be so sure. All I knew was that I never wanted to be in the same room with him. The humiliation I had gone through was just too much, and it scared me so much. If there was a way I would leave this damn pack, but I also couldn’t do that.

Either way, it was best to maintain my distance. He had broken my self-respect without thinking of the repercussions of his act, so I wouldn’t let me hurt me the more. He had proven he was not a good leader with that singular act of his.

With a deep sigh, I walked back to the pack, aiming directly to my family’s home.