Chapter three.

After Eve fell asleep, Holly carried her of to bed. It was a struggle, Eve wasn’t as little as she once was, but still Holly managed to flick back the corner of the quilt and lay her daughter gently on her bed. She then carefully removed her socks and shoes and tucked her in. Eve stirred but Holly was able to quickly lull her back to sleep with a soft hum. When she was satisfied that her daughter would not wake, Holly placed a gentle loving kiss on Eve’s little forehead and smiled at her sweetly. For the hundredth time today, Holly thought herself lucky.

Ever so gently as to not make a sound, Holly pulled her daughter’s door shut behind her and sighed. The fear of change was crushing her.

Holly stared at the bathroom with so much longing. She wanted to lock herself in there until Maggie grew impatient with her and left. But Maggie had been careful not to say anything in front of Eve, something she was grateful for.

Holly knew how desperate she must have been to say something, she must have a million questions and yet she hadn’t been forceful. She owed her friend some answers. After all Maggie would likely make her own assumptions and it was better, she knew the truth. Holly would just have to trust she would not say anything to her family, what other choice did she have.

Holly found her mother and her old friend sipping coffees in the kitchen. The women watched each other, as they drank from their cups, but neither of them dared say a word. When Kathy noticed her daughter approaching the table, she silently got up and left. Holly did not miss the look of relief on her mother’s face as she passed by and it made her heart clench.

Holly stood there trying to process the situation until Maggie snapped her from her thoughts.

“Your mother made that for you.” Maggie gestured to a third she hadn’t noticed before.

Holly took her seat at the table clutching at her coffee cup.

Where did she start, she did not know?

It appeared that Maggie didn’t know what to say either as she continued to stare into the distance with a blank face, but Holly could still tell she was nervous, from the way she fidgeted in her seat and refused to look Holly in the eye.

“She is his. Isn’t she?” Maggie finally spoke. Holly was grateful for it; the silence was daunting. It was like a chasm she hadn’t been able to cross.

“Yes.” Holly admitted sighing deeply, when she confessed it felt like all of the air had been sucked out of the room.

Although Maggie had already known, she was still shocked, she gasped at her friend’s revelation. Eve was really her niece. She could not believe it. She did not know how to feel about it. She was happy of course, but then there was anger, she hadn’t been apart of her life. Shock, how was this possible. Bitterness, for this she felt guilty but her friend had hurt her. And guilt, had she done something wrong? Why didn’t Holly feel like she couldn’t turn to her. It was all so overwhelming and confusing. But for now, she did her best to push all that aside, she had to if she wanted answers.

“And does Lincoln?’’ Maggie couldn’t imagine her brother knew about Eve, especially after she had seen how he reacted to her tonight at the market, but she had to be sure.

“I tried to tell him, but it didn’t go well.” Holly started to cry. It was a painful memory for her, one that always managed to bring tears to her eyes. Which is why she tried so very hard never to think about it.

“Please explain?” Maggie wanted to help not only her friend, but her brother and her niece as well, but she didn’t know how, maybe if she knew the full story, she could help the three of them. At least that is what she hoped.

Holly took a moment to compose herself, she would never get the words out otherwise.

“Do you remember the masquerade party your parents threw? They were celebrating our final year of high school and the end of Lincoln’s first year in college?” Holly recalled the night all too well. It was the night that changed her life forever, but for Maggie, it was likely insignificant.

“Yeah, how could I forget, that was the only time my parents allowed me to have a party.” Maggie said.

“Well, as you know, I had a serious crush on your brother.” Holly said, this made Maggie snort.

“A crush?” she looked at me dubiously, trying to hide a snigger.

“Fine, I loved him.” Holly rolled her eyes, but it hurt admit, especially when she was about to confess to her foolishness.

“Well, I don’t know if it was the cheap wig, the mask, the few drinks I had lending me extra courage or the fact that it felt like my chance to say something before he went back to school and I went to college, but I finally worked up the nerve to tell him how I felt about him. I should have known Lincoln would never say such sweet things to me, but I guess if you want something bad enough, you are willing to overlook reality. But he said he loved me, too. So, I kissed him. Before I knew it, we were in his room and he was helping me out of my dress. It was my first time.” Holly felt embarrassed to admit it, it was clearly a different experience for him, but still it was her truth. “In fact, it was my only time, but when I went to cuddle him afterward, he laughed at me. He told me he didn’t really love me; he just needed the distraction. I will never forget the way he sneered at me. He shoved me off the bed, threw my clothes at me and told me to leave.” Holly was sobbing. Her pain was still so raw. She thought about wiping the tears from her cheeks, and securing the mask she wore to hide her pain, but to hell with that she thought. Maggie wouldn’t judge her, wasn’t she allowed a moment of weakness? It’s not like it was Lincoln, he was the one she promised herself not to cry in front of. After what he did, he wasn’t allowed to see her pain.

It surprised Maggie but she felt hatred toward her brother for what he did to her friend. How could he, he knew how much that would hurt her. He had known that she loved him for years. How dare he led her on like that. Even if he didn’t love her, he should have respected her.

Pulling herself together, Holly did her best to steal her emotions. “I got dressed and left the room. I tried to leave the party, but you insisted that I stayed.”

Maggie remembered, the image of Holly running from the house barefoot with tears in her eyes and her costume in her hand come to mind. She remembered how her body shook in her arms as she cried. of course, she didn’t know that was why Holly had fled the house that night. She would have taken her home if she did. She just thought some idiot had something to do with it, at the time, she wanted Holly to show the loser responsible for her tears that Holly was strong. Now she felt horrible.

“Lincoln came downstairs, he was letting all the girls touch and flirt with him, like he had not just broken my heart.” Holly scoffed. “Then he came over to us to say goodbye, he was going to another party, he even hugged me, wished me luck and left like nothing happened between us.” Holly shivered, how cold he had been, had never sat right with her. If she hadn’t experienced it for herself, she would have never have believed he could be so callous, so cruel.

Maggie took her hand and held it. She made no attempt to hide the rage boiling within her “I will kill him.” She snarled protectively. Maggie gripped her hand so tight; it was starting to cause Holly pain.

Holly shook her head. She didn’t want Maggie to do anything, it’s why she didn’t tell her friend about it that night six years ago.

“Please. I don’t want you to say anything.” Holly begged.

“Why not?” Maggie couldn’t understand, she should want his blood.

“Because, I know how close your family is, and it would kill me if you and Lincoln were to fight over me.” Holly confessed.

“Some things are worth fighting for.” Maggie argued, she wanted to protect her best friend. Besides, Lincoln owed her an apology at the very least.

Holly just shook her head, “please?” she whispered.

Maggie didn’t want to agree, but she did it anyway. It was Holly’s heart break, Maggie knew she had to deal with it in her own way, even if it killed her to see her friend in pain. Feeling better now that she had Maggie’s word, Holly decided it was time to tell her the rest of the story.

“I started feeling sick and I was tired literally all of the time, I just thought I had the flu. I didn’t tell mom about what happened but she must have known or at least suspected something because she came home the day before I supposed to leave, with a pregnancy kit from the chemist and made me take it. I didn’t want to believe that I could be pregnant. But Lincoln didn’t take the time to put anything on, and I wasn’t on anything so I took it, not that mom gave me a choice. It was positive, obviously.” Holly laughed but it was devoid of any humour.

Maggie did not know what to say, did not know what to feel, so she quietly waited for Holly to finish her story feeling tense.

“Mom and I fought for hours, she was so upset with me and wanted to know who the father was. But I didn’t want to tell her, I was so ashamed of myself. But in the end, I gave in, I begged her not to make me tell Link about the baby, but she wouldn’t have it. She said if I didn’t tell him, then she would.”

Maggie gasped; she was surprised by Kathy’s strong reaction. Holly ignored her friend’s reaction, she just wanted to get this over with.

“I went to your house praying that he wouldn’t be there, I was hoping he would have gone back to school early and I could avoid the whole mess. But when I got to your place, he answered the door and he was the only one home. He could see that I had been crying and invited me in. He was so sweet about everything, it was such a contrast to the last time I had seen him that I ended up crying even more, because my heart was so broken, and he didn’t even care to acknowledge that he broke it. He asked me why I was crying, and like a fool I just blurted out, I am pregnant.”

Holly tried to push back the bitter feeling taking root in the pit of her stomach. “You know what his first reaction was? He asked me who the father was. I couldn’t believe he would think that I would sleep around, how could he not know that I was there confiding in him, after the way he humiliated me because I was trying to confess that I was pregnant with his baby. I got up, told him it wasn’t any of his business, I told him not to tell anyone else that I was knocked up and I left.” Holly’s hand begun to hurt she had clenched them that tight. It always helped her to remember how angry Lincoln had been with her that day. He chased her out of the house demanding to know who the father was, that insult alone always helped her slow her tears, as if until she remembered that very last detail, he was still a man worth crying over.

“I went home, told my mom that she had made a huge mistake forcing me to tell him, how he assumed it had to be someone else’s and how he had yelled at.”

Holly had to take a moment to calm down.

“If that was what he thought of me, I wasn’t going to try and change his mind. He had known me his whole life, and still he didn’t know what type of person I was. Mom felt so bad, like she was the one who hurt me, that is when I asked her not to say anything about it to anyone, she promised me that she wouldn’t. I begged her to drive to me to college that night instead of waiting until the next morning like we had planned. She agreed. I knew that if I didn’t leave before I saw you, that I’d confess everything and I didn’t want that.”

Holly finally looked at her friend.

“First thing I did, before I even unloaded the boxes was change my number. I knew it would hurt you, but I couldn’t be around him. Once your family found out the baby was his, I knew they would force him to be with me, I didn’t want that, I didn’t want to my live life knowing Lincoln was only with me because his family made him. And I didn’t want him to hate his family for forcing him to be with some one he couldn’t love. I am sorry. But I love Eve so much. She reminds me of you constantly. Like the marshmallow thing. I like to think all the things I love about her, come from you, not him.” Holly said.

It was true, she did like to imagine that, but for all her anger there was still all of that love. She would be lying if she said she didn’t look for the things in her daughter that would remind her of Lincoln.

Maggie was crying now too. Holly was right of course, her mother and father would have expected Holly to marry Lincoln if they knew about Eve, but only because her parents could see how much they loved each other. Maggie did not understand why Lincoln did that to Holly. He himself had told Maggie how he felt about her, she wasn’t just guessing. Lincoln made her swear she wouldn’t say anything, and Maggie didn’t. But only because she knew it would only encourage Holly, and Lincoln despite his feelings, wasn’t going to change, so to spare her friend’s heart she agreed to live with the secret. So why did he go near her?

“I thought today, when he saw her there with me at the Christmas market, I could have sworn he knew.” Holly confessed.

“I don’t know how he didn’t see it. She may have your curls, but she looks like he did, especially at that age. The big blue ocean eyes, her sweet little dimples, she is his mini.” Maggie said. It made no sense to Maggie. Maybe he didn’t want to know.