Refusing my ex 99 times

!! Trigger Warning: Sexual assault and abuse in this chapter may be triggering. !!

– Kacie –

My name is Kacie and I’m a slave to the Blood Moon pack. Today, I turned 18 and I didn’t miss the way he smiled at me when he wished me Happy Birthday. My dull brown hair falls down my back in chocolate curls. I have round blue eyes and a small straight nose. I don’t bother with my looks but maintain the bare minimum to make sure I’m presentable. My memories from before I came to Blood Moon are gone, my memory stretches back to the day he brought me here.

Alpha Ken Steward but I call him Alpha. He had short black hair, a massive build, and towered over me. 

I grew up in his household, I knew the rules and I followed them to a T. I knew at an early age what would happen if I disobeyed him. I did everything I could to ensure I never broke any of his rules. I didn’t have parents. Without memories, I couldn’t miss them. There was only ever him and for all I knew, there would only ever be him. My life was Alpha Ken, his daughter Diana, and this house.

I dedicated myself to him and followed his rules. It didn't matter how hard I worked or how well I did. It was never enough. I was never enough.  Alpha told me how pathetic I was. I believed it and never questioned him. His words built, raised, and made me. His words made up the laws that governed my world and his anger was something that demanded my obedience.

It was only when I messed up that he graced me with his attention. About two years ago, I noticed the look in his eye changed. I could feel his gaze follow me as I cleaned or when I would flit from one room to the other. I’d get this feeling in my stomach and I would break out in a cold sweat. I wouldn’t let him see my tremble, I’d continue on with the task at hand and pretend to be oblivious.

As a kid, he’d hit me with a ruler when I did something wrong. Over the past year, he would give me tasks that were almost impossible to complete. Sometimes he would give me a time limit and he’d smile when I failed. He would bend me over his knee when he didn’t like the results. The embarrassment would wash over my body in waves but I’d bite my lip to stop from crying out.

My birthday wasn’t anything special and it went on like any other day. I was almost done with my daily checklist. I’d been vacuuming for about five minutes and I didn’t hear him come in. Alpha doesn’t like noise. I didn’t see him or have the chance to brace myself. A hard hand connected with my cheek, I flew sideways and smashed into the sectional.

My eyes widened in shock as I gripped my cheek. I looked around frantically as strong arms picked me up. I didn’t have a chance to find my balance when I was pulled flush against him. My back pressed to his front, I held my breath and leaned down to turn off the vacuum.

“Alpha,” I said, my voice trembling. “I didn't see you, I’m sorry,” I said after straightening my back. His hands gripped my waist hard and I flinched. I kept my head bowed and clenched my jaw. He pushed into me and I felt something hard pressed against my back. I closed my eyes and swallowed the lump lodged in my throat when I realized he was hard.

He leaned his head down to my neck, his lips pressed against flesh and my skin crawled. “Alpha,” I pleaded.

He let out a chuckle but didn’t move away. He inhaled deeply, breathing me in. “If you behave, I’ll give you your birthday present, Kace. I don’t like loud noises in my house, so you’re not starting this off right.”

He sighed.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk. You know I hate noise. What is the first thing I hear when I get home after a long day of protecting this pack?”

“I’m s-so-sorry, Alpha,” I stuttered. “I’ll pay attention next time,” I whispered. My head bowed low and my eyes cast to the floor. My mind was whirling from his lips on me and I prayed. Prayed to the Goddess for mercy.

Please, please, please.

Go away.

I don’t know how long we stood there. I could hear the tick-tick of the clock on the wall. It felt like hours but it had probably only been a few minutes.

“Let me out, I can handle him,” my wolf tried to coax me.

I sighed internally.

“No, Athena. We’re not doing that. Can’t you feel him? I’m scared he’s going to do something this time,” I pleaded with her. She fought me for control sometimes and I didn’t always win.

“If you let me out, there won’t be a next time,” Athena promised. I bit my lip to stop the smile from spreading across my lips.

“Don’t let there be a next time,” Alpha growled into my ear. 

“Yes, Alpha,” I said submissively. He let go of my waist and I fought back the sigh of relief that threatened to break free. He walked into the kitchen and leaned on the counter. His eyes on me.

“When I walk through those doors, how are you supposed to greet me?” He asked.

I swallowed.

“I’m supposed to assume the position, Alpha,” I whispered.

“And what’s the position, Kace?” He asked. I flinched at the nickname, that’s what Diana called me.

“I’m to fall to my knees, bow my head, spread my legs, and lift my palms up,” I answered. Shame washed over me and I knew my face was beat red.

He didn’t say anything but his silence was better than his anger. “Good,” he purred.

“Do you need me to fix you something to eat, Alpha?” I asked him as I kept my eyes on the floor.

“No, Alpha Viktor is visiting us tonight. We’re meeting here to discuss a new alliance. He still hasn’t found his mate yet. I might have a solution to his mate issue but I haven’t decided yet,” he murmured. I knew he was looking at me, I could feel it. At this point, I think he’s talking to himself but I stand in silence listening. “I’m contemplating creating an alliance by asking him to take Diana as his mate,” he continues. I feel fear wash down over my body as I think of her leaving me here alone with him. Guilt flares in my chest before it’s replaced by fear as I wonder about the man she’s being sold off to.

What if he’s like Alpha?.

“He’s going to take Diana?” I asked quietly. I know better than to pry but when it comes to Diana I can’t help it.

“This house needs to be spotless, bring in some flowers from outside, and I’ll prepare an outfit for you,” Alpha ordered, completely ignoring my question. His wife died four years ago and he has yet to take a new wife. Him taking me as his date and what it implicates makes me nervous.

“Yes, Alpha,” I murmur. I hear the sounds of his footsteps as he makes his way over to me. “You’re being such a good girl, should I give you a reward?” He asked as he grabbed my waist.

“Th-there’s no need, Alpha,” I whisper but he ignores me and presses his lips to my neck. His tongue darts out and slides up my skin. I shudder and try to move away.