“Just remember that it’s all for Keila”

Keila looks frailer, but at the same time, she looks happy to see me, and that’s enough.

“Hey mommy, aunt Katie got me a lollipop and new toys”, she reports happily. I frown. Unlike other kids, Keila has strict restrictions on her diet so no matter how much she craves the snacks, sweets and outdoor games other kids play, it’s imperative that she’s only permitted to them once in a blue moon.

I’m happy she got to have a lollipop after so long, but I’m also angry at Katie for giving it to her. Sure, she was being thoughtful and only wanted to make my daughter happy, but I’m still really worried.

“What did you say to her?”, I ask, instilling manners even at the height of worry. She smiles, her little teeth on display.

“I said, Thankyou aunt Katie, I hope you break the rules for me again next time”. Her response is accompanied by a cheeky smile and a mischievous twinkle in her eye. I laugh, unable to scold her and just generally happy that she still maintains this side of her.

“Okay, okay, you got me”. I take a seat by her bedside. She thrusts one of her dolls at me. “Let me guess, you picked this one?”, I ask, studying the Harley Quin doll.

“Yup”, she answers, popping the p. Trust Keila to go for the scary looking toys.

“Not surprised”, I murmur. “Where’s your aunt Katie?”

She takes the doll back from me and continues playing with it as she answers. “She left. She said she had an emergency at work”

“When did she leave?”. I go to my bag to retrieve the oatmeal I got Keila.

“One hour ago”, she answers distractedly. I sigh. Keila has no concept of time so usually, her description of time is way longer than it actually is. Her one hour is usually less than ten minutes and her last week is two days ago.

“Here”. I give her the oatmeal and she grins, digging in immediately.

“Thanks mommy”

“You’re welcome baby”.

I text Katie.

Thankyou for taking care of Keila. She’s very happy about the toys.

She texts back immediately.

Ofcourse she is, she picked them herself. And you’re welcome. You really don’t have to thank

me, Keila is my baby too. I love both of you.

Me: I really don’t deserve you. Well then, get some rest. I’ll see you in a few days

Katie: Oh, no, I’ll be back at the hospital in less than an hour. I just have to deal with this and then I’m through.

Me: You really don’t have to. Besides, it’s Louis’ turn tonight.

Katie: Yeah, about that, he called and asked me to cover for him. Something about an emergency at work. Talk about deadbeat.

I don’t need to hear Katie’s voice to know she’s probably cursing out Louis at the moment. She’s always felt nothing but hate for him.

I on the other hand feel nothing but disappointment at the moment. We had an arrangement and this would be the first time he’s supposed to watch Keila based on the arrangements, but he’s already bailing. It’s true that Keila isn’t Louis’ child, but it hurts me sometimes when I see how little he tries to care for her. It’s even sadder watching my baby pine after him when he doesn’t return the affection. He’s known her since she was a toddler, the least he could do was care for her.

Me: okay then. I guess I’ll see you soon. Love you.

I’m not in the mood to dwell on Louis bailing and I’m not in the mood to call him and ask about it either. I’m too angry and I can’t trust myself to say something we won’t both regret

Katie: love you too.

Katie keeps her word, she returns forty five minutes later and we stay together with Keila, playing, laughing and indulging Keila as she cracks funny jokes. I stay for an extra hour before I wave goodbye to them both. I have to move my things into the mansion tonight but before then, I go grocery shopping with the list Salud gave me. I get the groceries, go back to my apartment to pack a few clothes and effects, then I make it back to the mansion before dark.

I’m worried I’m too late to make Luther’s dinner, but Salid tells me the dinner is being handled and I can resume properly the next day. I take the time to pack and arrange my stuff, then by 8, I take a stroll around the mansions grounds. It’s truly grand, larger than life and intimidating. But at the same time, it’s serene and comforting.

A few minutes into my stroll, I see a figure seated on a bench under a lamp. She stares quietly into the dark sky and doesn’t notice me approaching. It’s Emily, and she looks undeniably sad. Since that day at the hospital, we haven’t talked about her son’s death.I know they’ve had the funeral, but it sometimes gets easy to forget that she lost a child almost a month ago. She acts so happy and carefree, hiding her pains from the world and trying to appear strong. Sometimes I want to ask her how she copes with it, I would’ve crumbled from the force of the pain. I admire her strength.

“Hey”, I say quietly as I take a seat beside her on the bench. She snaps out of whatever trance she was stuck in.

“Hi, Audrey”, she smiles warmly at me. “How was your first day?”

I sigh. “Can’t really be considered a first day. I went grocery shopping and I moved in though, and I haven’t seen Luther again since morning”

“Don’t mind him. He’s a proper snob. How’s the job treating you though?”

“Great”, I lie through my teeth. She smiles at me knowingly, not bothering to call me out on my obvious lie.

“Just remember that it’s all for Keila”, she says, squeezing my hand in hers before turning back to continue stargazing. That’s all the reminder I need, it’s all for Keila.

We stay silent for a few seconds before she speaks again.

“Do you think he’s up there?”, she asks “Who?”

“Cole. My son”

“I think he’s in a better place”

She’s quiet again, then she sighs.

“I haven’t met your Keila, but she was raised by you and that already makes her a wonderful girl. I wish Cole met her, he would’ve liked her”, she says, tears clinging to her lids. My own eyes prickle with moisture, I hate that she lost her child, and I hate that I can’t comfort her. She doesn’t deserve it. She’s pure and good, so good.

“I’m sure Keila would’ve liked Cole too”, I say to her, going closer and holding her to me while she cries quietly.