The Unveiled Rage

My heart was pounding inside my chest and my wolf was getting out of hand. I could feel her swelling up together with the burning of my body. Oh, Goddess... I was no stranger to the idea of the traditional mating of wolf shifters like us, but I had no clue that depriving my wolf's needs was such a torment for both of us.

At the age of fifteen, our family's duenna taught us that our duty was not only to be a good wife but also the purpose of the wolf in heat and how we are able to manage it. After the acceptance of claims during the sacred mating banquet, we are obliged to give him our first liquid release to be fully marked and imprinted forever. And then, at the mating season, we are obliged to succumb to the heat to give our mate children if required.

Basically, the only way to ease the heat needed to be done by mating.

Except the problem was I had no mate to ease the heat that ignited inside me. Rather, I had, but he rejected me and now I was suffering this excitement that I had no idea how to stop.

Unlike other regions in which locating one’s mate was deemed arduous and rather burdensome, in the North, we had our fated mate read by wolfsayers of each of the existing packs.

Just like what our wolfsayer foresaw in my future, I would be mated by a male wolf shifter from the Triton Pack and Aena would be mated by the Ignis Pack. Her prediction turned out to be accurate except the wolfsayer never told me that I was going to be fated with the next in line Alpha of the Triton's Pack and I was going to be rejected by him.

I couldn't blame the wolfsayer though, it was my appearance and my lack of ability that disenchanted my mate. Their ability to predict seemed to have an extent only prior to the final settlement of two fated mates.

Even after months of facing Alexei’s rejection, I could still feel the pang in my heart. His rejection announcement was embedded in the very depths of my memory, which remained to be excruciating. My wolf and I had been trying to ease that pain in silence and it wasn't as easy as we thought it would be. Sometimes, we are still longing for our mate in times of loneliness... just like now when we were supposed to be mating and not me, listening to Aena arriving at the hot summit.

With trembling knees, I turned my back and stayed pinned by the door. I had always known that one day, I was going to be jealous when the mating period came because Aena had been claimed and marked while I remained to be mateless, yet I didn't know how painful it was to hear the thing I was supposed to experience in this time of period if it wasn't for my rejection.

Emptiness gnawed at the pit of my stomach and I found myself doubting my capabilities again, remembering how unreliable I was, as Alexei cited the first time we met.

Six months had gone by and it was still imprinted fresh in my memory. Hell, I didn't even know if that agonizing recollection would fade away or how I would recover from that humiliation. Yet even though my mind was afflicted by my rejection, my body was experiencing otherwise when the hotness in my body only intensifies as the moment goes on, suddenly turning susceptible to whatever arousal I was experiencing at the moment.

Slowly, I took a step away with wobbly knees and sagged on the nearest wall on the balcony located just right in front of my bedroom.

Every time I closed my eyes, Alexei's handsome face appeared in my mind. With his rugged look and that stern appearance when our eyes met and how his grey pierced through mine, I knew that he could be capable of copulation that should take place if ever he had accepted me as his mate.

He was the man I never thought would catch my attention even in just a short span, the man that I would think about whenever I was in heat. Even though he had humiliated me at that mating banquet, I still wanted him to do whatever Aena's mate was doing with her. I want him to run down those plum lips at every inch of my skin, on my peaks, and the thing between down there just to know how it feels.

Oh, Goddess... I want Alexei to make me scream how much Aena was screaming inside my bedroom. I want to give him the first liquid release and give him some more if only he had accepted me as his mate. I want to spend my every first time with him. Kiss, touch, moan, and most especially the first experience when our bodies would be as one.

I was at the right age and feeling something like this was normal. What wasn’t normal was lusting for the man who shattered my heart, and yet I couldn't control the urge of wanting him. Not because my wolf was unfaltering, but because I knew I needed it too.

I closed my eyes and imagined things with Alexei that I shouldn't feel. And maybe— No, there's a part of me that was certain somehow that if ever he reclaimed me back, I would accept him in a heartbeat and wouldn't mind what others would think. That’s how vulnerable I was to just forget that wickedness as if I didn’t suffer, too kind to let the bygones pass because it was only him that I wanted to have and no other.

It was only Alexei that I desired.

“Goddess, what am I even thinking about him...” I uttered as I fanned my flustered face using my hands.

If only that happened, I wouldn't be suffering right now. If only the Moon Goddess would grant me that wish, I would never waste it and be the Luna Alexei wanted to become. But that would probably just happen in my head and in my dreams. Putting it in colors would be impossible for someone as unreliable as me.

Other mates would have been in their most awaiting climax, enjoying the warmth of one another, and here I am, standing on the balcony with the gentle wind caressing my face, fighting my urges in silence because it was a sin to offer it to somebody since it was one of the sacred Canidean commandments.

I sighed after I felt a little less aroused. These thoughts about Alexei would subside after they completely wore off me and then I would come back to hating him. After all, he was the reason why my already miserable life got even worse than before.

He may be one gorgeous, rugged wolf shifter that embodies the words sin and sex, but he doesn't have the right to humiliate someone in front of many people on their most awaited day. Alexei Volkov wasn’t any better than my cruel father.

I was clenching my fist when my bedroom door opened. I glanced at Aena over my shoulder and gave her a cold stare.

“Have you been standing there this whole time?” Aena asked with florid cheeks, making me turn to her to face her completely. “Answer me when I ask you a question.”

I pursed my lips. “You claimed to be the one who was smarter between us, right? Why can’t you tell if I was?”

Aena's mouth hung open in disbelief. She was so offended by my retort, she charged through me but was stopped by Jared.

“Did you just answer me in sarcasm?” Aena asked, making me draw a long sarcastic sigh.

“And now you were asking the obvious,” I murmured, which made Aena moan in irritation and whine to her mate. Her cheeks skipped the pink hues and immediately settled on crimson as she speared me an aggravated glare.

I kept my enjoyment by wearing a placid reaction. But deep inside, I was celebrating my small triumph after witnessing how affected she was by just a little taunt. I didn't know that her irritation would be a satisfaction to me as much as my pain for her. I always wanted to piss Aena off, even just for once.

“How could you—”

“You are most welcome, sister...” I cut her off, pertaining to using my bedroom without my permission.

“What else can I do, my mate and I are in heat. I expected you to understand, but then I remembered that you couldn’t relate because you have no mate...” Aena stated just when I was about to open my door, halting me from taking a step inside my bedroom because she succeeded in getting into my head. “Because you were rejected, remember?”

I clenched my jaw and remained silent. But I did feel the rising sense of redress simmering inside me, almost away from reaching the boiling point.

“You weren't going to experience the relish that I attained because you are a rejected wolf shifter. No man would ever want you because you are an embarrassment, incapacitated, the weakest wolf shifter here in our town.”

My gut tightened with Aena’s scathing remarks and I suppressed myself from striding toward her just to slap her hard. She really knows how to trigger my pain and my veiled rage.

“Admit it, Aera. You are going to remain to be that ostracized and abused worthless individual here in the pack. In fact, I had a feeling that you would die as one!” Aena stressed the last word with a taunting laugh, making me swing to her.

Glaring, Aena jutted her chin to provoke me to get physical. But I knew better than to attack her so I only gave her a sharp look before I fumingly walked away.

“That’s right, Aera! Walk away! You never had a chance of defeating me in a physical fight anyway!”

I ignored Aena's last mock before I hastened my step. Miya, who was bringing my lunch on a metal tray suddenly met me halfway in the hall, took a quick glance at Aena before following me with long steps.

“Aera, where are you going? I was bringing your lunch to your room,” she informed me.

“Forget lunch... I’m going to look for that White Stag,” I answered tightly, clenching both my fists. “I’m going to prove to Aena that I won't die weak. After I succeed with my plan, I’m going to have my payback to all those who have hurt me... and I’m going to start with her.”