Chapter 4

 Tank

I’m sitting at the bar in the afternoon having a beer.  Brit is sitting on my lap rubbing her boney ass against me trying to get my dick to rise. I’ve got one of my hands up her tiny shirt playing with one of her tits. Trying to get going but it isn’t working.  Brit can try all she wants my dick doesn’t move unless I think of Lilly. I don’t want to think of Lilly at all. I need to get her out of my head. It is hard when she is around the club all the time. Or was until about two and half weeks ago. Now I notice she spends a lot of time with Lug Nut. At least three times a week. I don’t want to notice how much time she is spending with my brother. I don’t want to notice how she lights up when he comes here to pick her up to take her to wherever they go. Fuck. Why can’t I let her go? I haven’t even touched her and she is all I can think about.  I have already decided a year ago that I can’t have her she shouldn’t still be on my mind all the fucking time. And it isn’t anything Lilly does. She isn’t trying to get my attention. Because of the way I act towards her Lilly stays as far from me as possible. But she is always on my mind. I can't shake her. 

I’m pulled out of my head when out of the corner of my eye I see Lug Nut take a seat at the bar beside me. He gives me a nod but that’s it. Doesn’t talk to me. Several of my brothers have been like that more and more. They only talk to me when they have to. I know why they are like that. Some of it is the way I treat Lilly. They don’t understand I have to do everything I can to keep her from getting too close. It is for her own good. And the other part is since I can’t seem to get Lilly out of my head I stayed drunk more times than I can count on the days I do remember and have become an asshole to everyone around me. No one wants to be around the drunk I have become. Not that I can blame them. I honestly am not sure how many would have my back right now.

 Even my sweet club princess Merigold has said if I can’t get my shit straight soon she doesn’t want me around her or the kids. And that hurts bad. I love Merigold and those kids more than anything in this world and would never do anything to hurt them. But I get what she is saying. One time she brought the kids by, I was so drunk I couldn’t stand, let the less hold one of my goddaughters. Another time I had a bunny on my dick and another bunnies tits in my hands. Normally that wouldn’t be a big deal. That day it was early in the morning and I had already been told twice that Merigold was bringing the kids by. And I was sitting at a booth close to the playroom. The kids had to pass by me to get to it. I felt like total shit when Merigold and Viper yelled at me. But the worst part was the look Merigold gave. It was a mix of disgust and disappointment. And Jace and Jax said they didn’t like me anymore because I was gross. I haven’t seen them since. And it hurts but I don’t know how to fix everything.

Lug Nut’s phone rings on the bar. I take a quick glance and see it is Lilly calling and that just pisses me off more. Why the fuck is she calling him? What is going on with those two? Is he fucking her? Why do I care? I see him smile when he answers the phone. “ Hey, Lil.” But he stops what he was saying and the smile is gone. “  Calm down Lil. You need to breathe. Tell me what happened.” This now has my attention. Has something happened to Lilly?  Is she hurt? He is silent for a second listening to her. Suddenly he stands damn near knocking the stool over. “ No, you did the right thing by calling me. Stay where you are. I’m gonna talk to Prez real quick, then I’m coming for you.” He says already towards Prez’s office. I don’t hear what else he says but I’m on high alert.  

Not two minutes later Prez and Lug come rushing out of his office. Prez says “ Go and check on her. I’ve got Brick headed that way since he is closer. Bring her back here so I can talk to her. And Ace is on his way here.”  Lug races out the door like his ass is on fire not even answering Prez. Not a second later I hear the rumble of a bike being started and the squeal of tires on the pavement. What the fuck? “ Hey, Prez. Problem?” Prez looks at me like he just noticed I was sitting there. “  Aww. Did the ugly cow get in trouble again?”  Brit giggles while playing with the button on my jeans. Yea just hearing Lilly’s name got me getting hard in an instant. The timing couldn’t have been worse. Prez sneers at me and Brit “ Deal with your whore. I’ve got it handled.” Prez gives me and Brit a once over and shakes his head in disgust. Yea, I know I look like shit. And I’m acting like a dirtbag. I’ve got a beer in my hand and a shot of tequila on the bar and it isn’t even noon. I’m still wearing the same clothes as yesterday. I haven’t showered in at least two days. I think. I don’t know. I got blackout drunk for the last two days. But that doesn’t stop Brit from taking my dick out of my pants and shoving it down her throat. I know she thinks it is her getting me going but it isn’t. It is all Lilly. It is always Lilly. Hell, it sounds like she might be in trouble so I shouldn’t be hard at all. But just the mention of her name is enough to get a rise out of me. Fucking pathetic. Prez walks back towards his office but yells over his shoulder “ Try to be finished before Lug gets back.” Then he slams the door to his office. I know he is pissed at me. I’m supposed to be his enforcer and I haven't been worth a shit to anyone for months now. Hell, I can’t even ride in the state I’ve been in. That is almost like death to bikers like us. We live to ride. Now it isn’t safe for me to go anywhere near my bike.

Ten minutes later Ace comes walking in. He sees me. Brit is on her knees trying to get my dick back to life. It started going down when I was in my head having a pity party. Ace shakes his head “ Fuck, Tank. You look like shit. You smell like rotten pussy and booze. Try getting a shower. I can smell you from here.” Ace walks towards Prez’s office when I hear him say “ Worthless fucker. Makes me sick.”  I’m about to tell Brit to get up when Lug and Brick come charging through the door with the angel herself, Lilly boxed between them. Their arms around her. Prez must have heard them pull up because he runs out of his office with Ace in tow. Ace grabs Lilly checking her over like he is looking for injuries. When he looks at her hand he shakes his head. Lug grabs the first aid kit from behind the bar and heads to prez’s office. While Ace Lilly into a bear hug.

 When he steps away Prez walks up and bear hugs her as well. He grabs her face and asks her something I can’t hear. Whatever it was she shakes her head no. Prez nods his head and hugs her again. I hear Brit say “ Fucking pathetic how they fawn over her fat ass.” Prez growls. Fucking growls “ Tank! Take your useless ass and whore out of here.”  Keeping Lilly pressed against him, her face buried in his chest he goes to his office. Ace, and Brick follow, not even looking my way. 

Lilly

Only once we were all in Viper's office and the door was shut did Viper let me go. He had me sit in one of the chairs in front of his desk. Ace sat beside me with Lug in front of me. Brick behind me. Instead of going to sit in his chair Viper leaned against his desk. “ Lilly, are you sure you are ok?” I nod “ Yea, Mr. Viper. I’m fine. Just my hand. And a little shook up is all. I’m sorry to be so much trouble.” Ace takes my good hand “ Lilly, you're not any trouble. You did the right thing by calling Lug.” I nod but don’t really agree with him. I should have been able to handle this myself. I just called Lug for advice. I didn’t think the club needed to be involved but Lug seemed to think it did. 

“ So, you want to tell me what happened before you called Lug?” Viper asks. Lug grabs my hand and starts to clean it up from where I cut it. I take a deep breath before I answer. Today has been a weird day. “ I honestly don’t know. I was in town running a few arrends. I had this weird feeling all day I couldn’t shake.” Ace stopped me before I could go on. “ Weird feeling? Like what?” I let out a shaky laugh. “ Like I was being watched or followed. Which is stupid. Who is going to follow me? I tried to ignore it but it wouldn’t go away. It was really creeping me out. I couldn’t find the source of it.” “ Did you feel like that all day?” Brick asks. I hiss when Lug pulls a small piece of glass from my hand.

 “ No. I didn’t have it until I left the coffee shop. That was my first stop. But from there I felt it wherever I went. I looked around but nothing stood out. But it bothered me so much I did what I needed to do as fast as I could. My last stop was the grocery store. I wasn’t inside very long. I swear. Just to grab a few things. I never heard anything but when I came out the front window and side windows of Merigold’s truck were busted out. There was a note in the front seat. I only called Mr. Lug Nut to find out who I could take it to to have it fixed. I told him he didn’t need to bother you with this.” “ What did the note say?” Viper asks. Lug hands a plastic bag with the note in it to Viper. “ It was sitting on top of all the glass in the driver’s seat.” Lug says. Viper looks over the note then hands it to Ace. 

Ace reads it out loud “ Found you alone again. Thought your fat ass could hide from me. You owe us. The club won’t keep you safe anymore. You will get what’s coming to you.” Ace throws the note on Viper’s desk. “ Lilly, that note says again. Has something like this happened before?” Viper asks. I look at the floor and nod. Lu has just finished bandaging my hand but looks up at me “ Oh, Lilly. Why didn’t you say anything.”  He crouches down next to me with worry and hurt in his eyes. He is hurt because I didn’t come to him. I reach in my bag and pull out the first note. I handed it to Lug “ This one came three weeks ago. It was stuck under the windshield wiper. I didn’t think it was something the club should have to deal with.” Lug reads the note then passes it to Viper who passes it to the others.

 “ Lilly, someone is targeting you. That is club business. You have been under our protection since the day we found you.” Viper says. “ I figured it was time to stand on my own. You know. Whoever did this is after me. Not the club. And I kinda thought it would just go away.” I say still not looking at anyone. I can’t. I just brought  trouble to their door after everything they have done for me. I feel so guilty for causing such a mess even though I don’t know what it is all about. 

Ace huffs “ That’s not all, is it Lilly.” He gets out of his chair and kneels in front of me. He lifts my chin with his thumb making me look at him. “ There is a part of you that thinks someone in the club is behind this.” I jerk out of his hold and look at the floor so he won’t see the tears that are trying to fall. He isn’t wrong. I know some of the members don’t like me and want me gone. So I wouldn’t put it past them to go to great lengths to get me out. There are a few like the ones in this room that keep me safe and want me around. But the rest I don’t trust.

 Ace stands,  “ I should have dealt with this a long time ago.” “ Ace what the fuck are you talking about? You think one of ours is terrorizing Lilly?” Viper asks. Brick steps up “ Prez, you know there are several people who have been very vocal about what they think about Lilly  being here. It ain't like they have been quiet about it. One in particular. You know who I’m talking about. I know some of the bunnies have got as far as hitting her. I don’t think it is unreasonable for Lilly to think it would be one of them trying to run her off when we aren’t around to keep her safe.”

“ I know things have been said. But I didn’t know the bunnies had actually hit you Lilly.” Viper kneels in front of and puts his hands and says “ Why didn’t you come to me? I would have done something.” “ I shake my head “ I wasn’t sure if you would believe me. They have been here longer than me. And if you did do something it would have made the situation worse.” Viper lightly grabs the back of my neck and presses his forehead to mine. He whispers “ I’m sorry I let you down Lilly.” I shake my head no to let him know he didn’t let me down but he ignores me. He kisses my forehead and says “ Yes, I did. But not anymore.”

He stands up and looks at the others. “ I’m calling an emergency church with only our most trusted members. If it is one of ours I want to know immediately. I don’t care who they are. If it is one of ours doing this to Lilly I want them gone.” Before I can think better of it I grab Viper’s hands and plead with him “ You don’t have to go through all this trouble. I’m not worth it. I can just stay away from the club. If it is one of them then this will go away if I’m not here. If it isn’t one of them then I’ll figure something else out. Maybe leave town.”  Lug comes up and grabs me “ No, Lilly.” I know he is thinking of the band and Harry. But if me leaving gets this to stop it is probably for the best. I look Lug in the eyes and say, “ I’m not irreplaceable.”  Even though it will hurt to quit the band and not get a chance to  perform at Harry’s. Tonight is my first show. If it will make this go away then it is for the best. Hell, I’m sure several of the members here will throw a party when I’m gone. 

“ Lug Nut is right Lilly. You aren’t going to go anywhere. We aren’t going to let this chase you away. We are going to get to the bottom of this and get it dealt with. End of story. You are one of ours. You are part of the family. We protect what is ours. Even if it is from one of our members. If they can do something like this they don’t belong here anyway.” Viper pulls me to him and hugs me again. “ Just trust me to take care of this.” I wrap my arms around his waist and nod. I know there is no use arguing with him over this. If there is anyone I trust it is the men in this room. “ Good.” Viper says.

Viper pulls out his phone and starts texting. “ Meeting in twenty. Be ready. It will be trusted members only.” he says. “ Lilly, I want you to stay in my office while we are in church. I’m going to have a prospect guarding the door. Is there one you are more comfortable with?” I think of the prospects I know which aren't many. I do know the one that is around when we are at the bar for rehearsals. I trust him to help keep me safe. I have come to think of him as a friend. “ Goof. He is nice to me.” Viper nods and texts again.

Five minutes later there is a knock on the door. Brick checks the door and lets Goof in. “ Prospect, we have church in fifteen minutes. While we are in there your one job is to protect Lilly. No one gets in this room but who you see here now. Understood?” Goof looks at me then Viper “ Yes, sir.” “ Good. Lilly, do you need anything before we leave?” “ I could use some water if it isn't too much trouble.” Goof nods and he is out the door.  Lug sits beside me and puts his arm around me “ We are going to handle this. Don’t worry. If I have to do it personally. Trust me?” I lay my head on his shoulder and whisper “ I do.You know that.” 

Lug Nut

I’m sitting at the table waiting for Viper to start church. I look around and see Axel, Rowdy, Brick, Ace, and Thor all wondering what is going on. I’m sitting being  pissed at myself. I can’t believe I didn’t notice that Lilly was having problems. I know I have heard some of the shit that has been said about her but I thought that was all it was. Talk. I didn’t know she was being hurt. And now the notes are being left to scare her. I feel hurt that she didn’t think she could come to me. I’m hurt that she didn’t feel like she could trust me. I thought I had shown her that she could but I guess I didn’t. Well not anymore. From now on I’m going to make sure she is safe and that she knows that she can always come to me with anything. I know Viper and Ace feel like they let her down but so do I. We are closer to her than anyone. We should have known something wasn’t right. I do that Lilly hides it well. I think she feels if she makes waves she will be kicked out. I know that isn’t the case. We just need to make sure she knows that.

Viper knocks the gavel on the table letting us know church has begun. “ Thank you brothers for coming in on short notice.” The guys nod  “ Tank too fucked up again to join us?”  Axel says with a sneer. This is the first time I notice he isn’t here. But I’m happy he isn’t. He is one of the people who has been very clear  that he doesn’t want Lilly here. I do know she is afraid of him and won’t be in a room alone with him. I never would have thought he would do something to her. But the way he has been these past few months, the way he is going down hill fast I don’t know what to think. Maybe he would go as far as to scare the shit out of her to get rid of her.

“ I didn’t call him in. I needed only my most trusted patches here for this.” To not be called into church is a hell of an insult. To not be trusted is even worse. Does he think Tank might be behind what’s going on? If not he probably wouldn’t stop it either if it got Lilly away from the club. I see the look on my brother’s face when Prez says he doesn’t trust Tank. They know that isn’t good. “ What’s going on Prez?” Thor asks. Viper takes the two notes and throws them in the middle of the table. “ Someone is threatening Lilly. The first note came about three weeks ago. The second came today along with a busted windshield and a couple of windows.” “ Why are we just hearing about this now?” Rowdy asks, looking at the notes. “ Lilly kept the first one from us. We only found out about the second because she had to call Lug for help. She didn’t want the club involved. She thought she should handle it on her own.” Viper answers. “ Why didn’t she want the club to know?” Axel asks. Before Viper can answer Thor growls out “ Are you fucking kidding me? She thinks one of us is doing this to her?” 

“ As much as I hate to say this. After what I have been hearing. That is one possibility. Yes. One of ours is trying to get her out. I don’t give a shit who is doing this to Lilly. We are going to take care of it. She is one of ours. We will handle it. For starters I want Lilly under constant guard. She is not going anywhere alone. I don’t want her at the house alone. If she is in the club I want her with someone at all times. But only certain members and prospects that I approve of. Brick I want you to get the surveillance video from the grocery store. See if you can find anything. I want all of you to pay attention when you are at the club. See if you notice anyone who is more aggressive towards her than others. And for fuck sake keep the bunnies away from her. I found out today that some have actually been hurting her. Hitting her, shoving her into walls. Slapping her. Tearing up places she has already cleaned so she has to do it again.” Rowdy asks “ Has she said who?”

 Viper shakes his head “ No. For two reasons. She didn’t think anyone would believe her and she didn’t want to be a rat. Lilly may not trust some of us but she is loyal to all of us. Anyone in this room that has a problem with Lilly needs to speak up now so I made sure you aren’t on her protection detail.” No one says a word. Not that I expected them to. The guys in this room view Lilly as family. A little sister or in Ace’s case niece.

We set a protection detail with me getting her three days a week for practice and performing with the band. Since we have been doing this for a few weeks no one bats an eye. They are used to us hanging out together. Even if they don’t know what we do. Part of me wants to shout that they need to come to Harry’s and watch her perform tonight. The crowd is going to love her. I’m excited to see how this is going to go. I know Anna is helping her with an outfit that isn’t baggy t-shirts and hoodies.

I know poor Lilly is nervous but I have faith in her.  I’ll get the club down to see her one day, just not now. Just before Viper ends church he looks around the table “ I don’t care if it is one of ours or not. We end this. If it is one of ours there will be hell to pay. We don’t want that kind of shit here. We are better than attacking one of ours. No one is to know about this until I make sure it isn’t one of ours.” The guys nod in agreement. Viper bangs the gavel ending church. I’m heading to the office to get Lilly. We have our first show tonight. Time to get things moving. We still have to get set up. Then we all have to get dressed. I’m going to call the guys and have them meet me at Lilly’s so we can go over together. I will stay with her for the night. I’ll bring Goof with me.