CHAPTER 3: Give and Take.

~ Clavem ~

"Clavem, how many times have I told you? You aren't allowed to eat with us. Then you're acting as if you don't know or as if you're so ignorant that you don't get it! Would you like me to spell capslock for you? For you to comprehend! What a shame."

I bit my bottom lip, tightened my grasp on the wooden chair to keep my emotions under control, and forced a grin. "M-My a-apologies. I'm s-sorry," I stammered. "I'll just j-join the s-servants later for dinner. I'm sorry, Luna."

"Good to know," she said boldly and calmly after drinking the pineapple juice in her right hand.

I bowed and carefully returned the chair, leaving the alpha Sortitus and alpha-luna Heres to eat in peace and quiet in the large mansion that Sortitus also owned. I came to a stop when someone stopped me from heading to the dirty kitchen.

"No, you may sit there, Clavem," Alpha Sortitus stated in a deep voice. Even though I wasn't facing him, my two ears could still hear the rustling of the beef steak he was cutting with the carving knife. I can even smell the warm juice of the meat and its deliciousness. I also heard his emphatic and knowing deep swallowing of his Adams apple, even the simple but too dangerous glances at Heres and me. I also know that even though Alpha Sortitus has a poker face, since he possesses it every day, his sex appeal remains strong.

A heavy sigh was released from my mouth before I pressed the opening of my eyelid after closing it several times due to the weight of my feelings and, for the last time, took another breath and swallowed. I kept my face at the dining table calm, even though the truth is that I want to get rid of the pain that I keep harboring in my heart every time I see them together. I could clearly see Heres' sharp gaze, indicating that she did not want me to join them and share dinner with her alpha husband.

"Thank you very much, but... I'm not going to join you two for dinner any longer; I'll just be in the kitchen with the servants."

Indeed truth. 'With the slaves where I belong in.'

I am not the legal wife. I'm not the one either. But I am her fated mate... a fated mate who was not destined to marry an alpha like him. So why would I keep up with their husband and wife in such scenes? In truth, they don't need to treat me like one of them because I'm just a low-class member of their perfect and lovely family.

Alpha spoke again and forced me to join them as they ate, while Heres shook her head repeatedly. Because of her husband's demand that I eat dinner with them, Heres had a firm grasp on the spoon and fork she was holding.

"Not anymore, alpha. I'm not hungry yet." I lowered my head. "Excuse me." I put my hands together and turned back again. As I turned away, I secretly wiped my tears that I didn't realize were falling on my eyes, and I was about to take a step when I heard Sortitus' threatening voice again.

"I said, sit here!"

I simply closed my eyes again, took a big breath, and sat down before Sortitus became enraged. Every day, when we eat at the huge dining table, this happens. I'm not sure how much longer I am able to put up with him as be his fated mate.

Sortitus didn't need to shut himself on me after the events at the hut. Because I was willing to let him go for Heres that night. I felt the woman's pain when she learned that the man she loves had found her fated mate, and on the very day of their interrupted wedding that was also the day I and her Alpha mark the mating mark to each other as one, but when I saw among the Sortitus's eyes pleading for me not to leave him and neglect him because of Fenrir's love for me and also the wolf that screams inside me, even though it's not my intention to ruin them. I agreed to this set-up even though I know I'll lose this game as well and appear wicked in everyone's eyes because I'm a hooker, but I love him. It's fine if I become an enormous fool. When you love someone deeply, you don't know what's right and wrong. I love him for the first time in my entire existence. When I first saw it in the forest and it healed a wounded and crippled bird, I fell in love with its caring and loving nature toward all animals, not just its subordinates.

Three weeks have passed since the red pack and black pack continued their agreement to merge their clans; the interrupted wedding of Sortitus and Heres has also occurred following the enemy invasion; even a common and hasty wedding.

It was a disaster when the entire pack discovered, because of Heres, that I was the alpha's fated mate. Some were overjoyed, but others couldn't believe the news, and the majority of their clan didn't like me since they wanted and favored Heres to be the leader and luna of the alpha's pack. And Heres' side even begged Sortitus to throw me out, but Sortitus refused. I thought that Sortitus would not have approved the arrangement of his family and the queen and king of the Radisworn Kingdom, but I was shocked for a minute that it was acceptable and that there was no problem as long as Heres was his wife and the luna of the entire pack tribe of red and black.

Sortitus and I kept my true identity as a white wolf and did not even tell Heres about it because if everyone found out, I might not only be thrown out but also killed. So Sortitus just made up a story to be believed by all.

"Ahm, Clavem, can you hand me that and that too, as well as that and the one next to it? Give me cheese and grapes too."

Heres kept ordering me till I couldn't eat anymore. I spent the entire dinner reaching for the food she requested, but she never ate it. I also walked back and forth to the kitchen because she asked me to get something from the refrigerator, and she specifically warned the maids not to assist me because she wanted me to be the only one who served her.

Using my elbow, I wiped my sweat that was dripping from exhaustion. I bent down and bit my lip, then put down the last slice of cake I had taken from the fridge. My butt hasn't even touched the chair, when she's saying something again.

"With all due respect, dear Luna, you have hands and feet; why don't you reach out to the others? You have been ordering me around, and I want to eat because I am very hungry."

Instead of apologizing, she simply smirked while taking a bite of the food and cleaning her gums with her tongue. She teased me while her fingers fluttered and the spoon was still in the center of it. "I like the food; it's really good, unlike the woman in front of me, who's just average."

I tightened my fist and held my skirt under the table, bitterly smiling at the pair. I attempted to settle myself down before Heres humiliated me, but I knew Sortitus could sense my restraint as well as the resentment and sorrow in my heart. I wet my lips and bit them while raising my head. When I had calmed down, I placed one hand on my chest and began sipping the soup.

Our entire dinner revolved around Heres slandering and belittling me. Even though she doesn't say it directly, her words are full of content against me being a low-class wolf and having a relationship with a married man.

We turned to the side as someone burst, and I noted Sortitus' annoyance, the meeting of his brows, his frown, and the burning gazing of his eyes at Heres and I.

"Heres!" Sortitus shouted and scolded his wife. "Finish your food, Clavem and I'll be in our room tonight. Excuse me."

Sortitus immediately wiped his mouth and set the table napkin down. He gave Heres and I a blank expression before eventually walking upstairs and entering our room.

Heres and I remained silent for a while until Sortitus completely disappeared from our sight.

"Yeah, I forgot, today is Thursday. Hugh! And it's my fucking hell day." Heres threw the table napkin with a crash and turned to face me, her mouth on my ear. Her warmth, a scorching trail of menace, sunk on my flesh as she inhaled and spoke. "Be a good girl. Don't creep out my husband."

She delicately caresses my hair aside before slamming into me hard. She's depressed, but she's covering it with a crazy laugh underneath her wounded heart, which is why I didn't let myself to fight her, despite the fact that she gives a reason to want to start a battle inside the mansion.

She didn't finish what she was eating and left me alone at the table. She went straight to her room with Sortitus and pretended to be strong, but tonight I know that she will be enveloped in sadness again and cry alone in their bed.

"Aurgh!"

I just swallowed and held onto the part of Heres hit me and felt the pain.

It's really difficult and scathing for the three of us, but love also requires patience, understanding, and sacrifice. And as long as I'm a part of this convoluted set-up, I have to respect, live with, and follow all of Heres' wants and conditions for me, even if they aren't alright with me. I'll just clench my fist and swallow pride for my love, just as I know Heres does for Sortitus.

We divided our days for a week so Sortitus could spend time with. The days for Heres are Monday, Wednesday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Tuesday and Thursday are my only days.

I walked immediately to the room and found the alpha lying on his back on the bed, topless and blanketed.

In the bathroom mirror, I glanced at my entire body and noticed myself without make-up on my face, as well as the size of my fat.

My weight increase is the result of her giving me cholesterol and sugary chocolates. What made me pallid was because Heres forbade me from wearing make-up or revealing clothing, especially if I was sleeping with Sortitus.

I took a deep breath, moved closer to the mirror, and focused on myself.

I turned on the water and began to wash up. I raised my wet face to the mirror.

"How can an alpha like me with this look and body I have now?" my voice cracked.

"Sortitus," I called.

"Sortitus," I called once again.

"Are you still awake? Is my love still awake?" I didn't face him, but when I tried to speak, I heard his quiet snoring and deep sleep.

I am now wearing pajamas and a loose blue plain t-shirt and lying down next to the alpha. We had our backs to each other, and it seemed that he was very tired from his work all day with the pack and their business with Heres.

I feel so sleepy that my eyelids are falling. Suddenly someone wrapped around my waist, and I felt a warm breath touch my shoulder.

"Clavem..."

When I grinned, he held me even tighter, and I grabbed his arm and squeezed him back.

"I'm sorry if I can't assist you with your leadership; I'm nothing more than a menial housemaid."

Heres also prohibited me from being involved in the leadership and interfering with the pack's movements or plans. Despite the fact that Heres barred me from joining their pack, Sortitus claimed and granted me permission to join their tribe, despite the fact that their group was an opponent of mine.

I felt his head moving on my shoulder, and he didn't speak anymore, but he hugged me even tighter as if he wouldn't let me go.

"I love you, Sortitus," I whispered earnestly and passionately.

"Mhmmm.." he moaned to me and buried his face in my neck.

"It's ok. Nothing would change. I'm fine, even if you don't love me. I understand why you choose not to reject me and let me stay by your side and be happy for what I had. And I'm content to be your mistress, though I am your fated mate and a truth that would never at last. I love you. I love you eternally, although it is a sin and forbidden."

Mixed emotions drew to me when I whispered it to him. Two drops of tears soaked the white pillow, and I hugged his arms even tighter, and a bitter smile appeared on my lips.

One night I saw Heres entering Sortitus' room. Dizzy to walk due to being so drunk.

"Let me help you."

I took her hand and placed it on my shoulder. She suddenly pushed me a little away from her.

"No! Don't stick your hideous skin to me," her voice was hoarse. It's red with drunkenness.

"Luna Heres, and I'm going to help you lay down on your bed. You're drunk."

"I said I don't need your help; I can handle myself! Get out of my face!" Even though she is stubborn, no matter how many times she yells at me and pushes me away from her, I am still here and ready to help her.

I went out for a while to get the face towel and a small basin to wipe her body and freshen up before going to bed. When I came back, I was surprised that she was not on the bed where I left her for a moment.