"This deals with the preparation and analysis of financial statements of a service business..."
Ang dami na niyang naituturo mula nang magpunta kaming apat dito sa library, but I do not understand anything. The only thing in my mind is the embarrassment I did earlier in the male's comfort room. Buti na lang walang ibang tao doon. Gosh, I'm so stupid. And now, he's probably thinking na hinahabol-habol ka siya.
Tanging orasan at ang pagsasalita niya lang ang nagsisilbing ingay dito. Even Gianna and Kael are just silently listening to his lessons. Sino ba namang hindi matatahimik? Bukod sa magaling siya magturo, napaka seryoso pa. He looks so intimidating while showing us his macbook, andoon kasi lahat ng tinuturo niya.
His hair is still damp, naligo ata kanina. The way he's speaking, parang napaka professional talaga, bakit kaya hindi siya mag teacher? Ate said na sobrang talino raw talaga niya, pare-parehas silang magkakapatid.
"Are you listening?" I stiffen when he asked me. Gianna's mouth formed an '0', kita ko naman ang pasimpleng pag tawa ni Kael kaya pasimple ko silang inirapan.
"Yes," diretso kong sagot, almost stuttering because walang katotohanan iyon.
He nodded his head, akala ko'y nakumbinsi na siya doon. My heart jumped when he asked me again.
"If so, then what was the last thing I explained?" He added while intently looking in my eyes.
I swallowed hard. Gianna cleared her throat while she gestured something, which made me even more annoyed. I can feel a sweat on my forehead, my hands are also shaking under the table, hindi rin mapakali ang paa ko sa sahig. Naging malikot ang mga mata ko, nag iisip-isip ng isasagot. I can't remember anything!
I stop when he scoffed.
"See?" Masungit niyang sabi, he even raised his eyebrow before he shook his head. Para siyang yung typical na terror na prof, nakakainis. He sighed bago bumalik sa pagtuturo.
I pouted my lips. Nakikinig naman ako, pero sa tenga ko lang pumapasok, hindi sa utak ko. I grabbed my pencil and notebook to take some notes. Ito nalang ang gagawin ko para kung sakaling hindi ko maintindihan, pwede kong balik-balikan mamaya para basahin at intindihin.
I didn't notice that I was biting the tip of my pencil while listening to him. I was distracted by his simple gestures, pinasadahan ko ng tingin ang kanyang mukha. His defined thick eyebrows that's always furrowing when he's being grumpy and mad, his long lashes, his hallow cheeks. His color hazel deepset eyes, that when you look at it, your heart will automatically pound.
My heart hammered when I saw that he's already staring at me, down to my lips as I bit the tip of my pencil. Ngunit agad rin siyang umiwas ng tingin doon, he cleared his throat. Napaayos rin tuloy ako ng upo at nilapag na ang lapis ko sa lamesa.
Bakit parang bigla na naman akong nauhaw? Kanina pa 'to, ah. Hindi naman ako dehydrated dahil sinanay ako nila mommy na lagi uminom ng tubig. Weird.
"Ano yung mga tinginan na 'yon ha?" Agad akong siniko ni Gianna pagkalabas namin ng library matapos ang lesson namin with Dame, halos malaglag ko pa ang mga libro na yakap-yakap ko. Naiwan doon si Dame, mukhang mag-aaral pa ata.
"Ha? Alin doon?" I innocently asked.
"Ha? Alin doon?" She mimicked me. My forehead creased before I giggled.
I really don't know about what she's saying. Ang sungit sungit nga sa'kin ni Dame kanina e. Sorry naman ha, pero hindi ako kasing talino niya na naiintindihan agad lahat ng tinuturo.
It's a big day for Highorama University today. May game ang Coyote, name of Damen's football team. May bisita raw ulit, and I guess pwede ulit magpapasok ng outsiders ngayon.
I rolled my long socks up to my leg, after I tied the lace of my shoes. I lowered my green skirt a bit before I fixed my white longsleeve. I giggled when I dip my two fingers inside the small can of green paint, saka ko yon pinahid sa kaliwang pisngi ko. We, the students of Highorama University, are required to do this thing, bilang pakita na rin ng suporta namin.
Bago ako lumabas ng kwarto ay hinigpitan ko pa ang pagkakatali ng dalawang ribbon ko sa aking buhok na nakatali rin sa dalawa. Green ang ginamit ko ngayon, hindi baby blue. The color is kinda cute rin naman.
"Oh my god, your skirt, Sylvaine!"
Patakbo na lumapit sa akin si Gianna bago pinitik ang aking noo, napasinghap ako dahil do'n bago hinimas-himas ang parteng pinitik niya. She also have two stroke of green paint on her cheek, pati si Kael. Lahat ng estudyante dito, kaya yung mga hindi ko nakitaan, ibig sabihin ay taga-ibang school sila.
"Bakit na naman?" I pouted my lips.
"I told you before, huwag kang tumakbo nang pahapyaw-hapyaw, tumataas palda mo." She hissed. Ngumiti na lang ako nang may maisip akong kalokohan.
"Yes, mommy." I teased kaya narinig ko ang tawa ni Kael. Gianna facepalmed before she grabbed my wrist para makapunta na kami sa open field.
The open field seemed to be just a room because of their loud and strong cheer, as well as the other school, cheer pa lang ay naglalabanan na. Nasa kabilang bleachers sila, color red naman ang theme ng kanilang school. May mga dala rin silang cheerleaders na sobrang iksi ng mga palda at may dala pang mga pompoms, I also noticed that they also have a mascot na nakikisayaw rin sa pep squad nila.
My heart hammered when I saw Dame with his team, bawat beat ng drums ay siya ring paghataw ng puso ko, nakahawak siya sa isang balikat ni Steve habang may sinasabi dito, team member niya, tungkol siguro sa game.
"Oh, dagdag points kay crush."
I stunned when Kael handed me a gatorade, cool blue ang flavor no'n, Dame's favorite. Gianna pouted her lips way to Dame's direction. Nakuha ko ang gusto nilang ipahiwatig, agad ako nakaramdam ng kaba.
I stood up before I grab it, 'kala mo naman talaga ay buo ang loob. I feel like my knees became jelly when I reached the boundary between the bleachers and player's bench. Nakaramdam ako ng hiya sa mga nasa unahan. From my position, I can see his broad shoulder na bahagyang gumagalaw tuwing himihinga siya.
I cleared my throat, hindi niya napansin. Inulit ko pa iyon ngunit hindi pa rin. I was about to call his name when he already turned his head, agad nagtama ang paningin namin, kasabay ng pagkaramdam ko ng mga paru-paro sa aking tiyan.
The side of his lips curved when he saw me, It feels like my heart fell on the floor, that's how he affects me. Halos hindi na ako makaimik nang tumayo siya at humarap sa akin. He placed his hands over the boundary. I couldn't breathe properly, now that he's close to me, I can't manage to utter a word.
"What is it, cutie? Munchkin?" He mocked, again. Bakit ba hindi na niya makalimutan iyon?
I blinked twice. Halos hindi ko magawang mainis dahil sa panggagaya niyang muli kay Niklaus, nabibingi na ata ako sa lakas ng tibok ng puso ko. My hands were shaking when I handed him the Gatorade, tumingin muna siya sa akin bago doon.
"G-Good luck sa game," I stated, obviously stuttering. Binalewala ko na lang ang pang-aasar niya.
The side of his lips curved once again before he took it in my hand. Parang ilang boltaheng kuryente ang dumaloy sa akin nang maramdaman ko ang kamay niya.
"Thank you, munchkin," he teased, before he chuckled, hindi pa talaga siya tapos. Agad niya binuksan 'yon at ininom sa harapan ko habang nasa akin pa rin ang kanyang mga mata. I can even see his adam's apple moved while he's drinking. Rinig ko ang impit na tili ni Gianna dahil hindi naman kalayuan ang pwesto namin dito kanina.
"Stop calling me that," I hissed, pero mahina lang iyon. He bit his lower lip to stifle a smile bago niya muling tinakpan ang boteng iyon
"Why? Because only Niklaus can? Miss mo na?" Hindi pa talaga siya tapos mang asar kaya hindi ko na napigilan umirap, maski ang paraan ng pag tingin niya nang aasar din.
Narinig ko na naman ang kanyang halakhak.
"Shut up! Bakit ba lagi mo dinadamay si Niklaus? Ikaw nga 'tong pinuntahan ko dito, e!" I argued.
Unti-unting sumilay ang ngiti sa kanyang labi.
I do miss Niklaus, nitong mga nakaraang araw kasi ay busy siya sa kanyang mga lessons. Pero habang tumatagal mas lalo kong napagtatanto na mas iba talaga ang pagkakagusto ko kay Dame. I can see Niklaus as my friend, even a brother, at alam kong ganon din ang tingin niya sa'kin.
I felt a little embarrassment when I can see the gaze of other students at our place. I almost jump when he pat my head, making me feel distracted.
"Then cheer for me, Vaine..." he stated in a manly voice before he removed his hand over my head and turned his back on me, nagpunta na siya sa coach nila.
Halos masugatan ko na ang sarili kong labi dahil sa diin ng pagkakakagat ko doon. Para akong hinang-hina nang bumalik sa pwesto namin nila Gianna, he just took my breath away! Sinong hindi malulutang?
"Hala, kaloka. Nawala na siya sa sarili niya, girl." Pangloloko ni Kael kaya natawa na lang din ako.
He's the only one who have this large impact on me, sobrang lakas ng epekto niya sa akin, kahit simpleng galaw niya lang. Para na akong mababaliw kaiisip kung bakit ganoon, crush ko lang naman siya, ah? He took all of my energy, parang hinihila lahat ng lakas ko kapag ganon siya kalapit sa akin. And his scent, amoy na pipiliin kong amuyin lagi't lagi.
The game went well, nanalo ang Coyote, kaya agad nag set ng celebration ang school. Siguro ay after ng exams next week. I hugged my string bag as I sat on the waiting shed, I'm waiting for Kuya Elmar. I was surprised when he did not arrived on the same time, kadalasan kasi ay 4pm pa lang andito na siya para sunduin ako. Matagal na namin siyang driver at lagi siyang on time kung dumating, minsan pa nga ay mas maaga pa.
Minutes have passed, but still, wala pa rin ang sundo ko. I pouted my lips before I sent a message to my mom and to Kuya Elmar mismo. After that, I opened the camera of my phone to check my face, napasimangot ako nang makitang nagkalat na ang green paint sa aking pisngi, mukha na akong gusgusin. I even forgot my handkerchief!
I decided to sketch first habang wala pa akong sundo para hindi ako mainip at ma-bored, kaya nilabas ko ang sketchbook ko at pencil case.
"Let's go?"
I was about to draw, I'm already holding my pencil when someone talked and asked me to go? Agad nag-angat ang tingin ko dahil doon, shock was written on my face when I saw him standing in front of me. He's already wearing a black longsleeve and a pants habang sukbit ang gym bag niya sa isang balikat.
"Ha?" Lutang kong tanong, hindi ko agad napansin na naguhitan ko na pala ang sketchbook ko. Inis kong iniwas ang tingin sa kanya bago burahin 'yon, sayang yung isang page
"Tita Vanessa asked me to get you, wala raw ang driver niyo." He explained.
My eyes widened bago napaangat ng tingin sa kanya. I'm already waiting for about thirty minutes, nag text pa ako kay mommy, pero kay Dame siya nag reply.
I pouted my lips. Edi sana si Dame na lang anak niya diba?
"Why are you pouting again?" He asked softly, napaiwas na naman siya ng tingin. He scratched the back of his head. "Damn," he mumbled.
"A-Ano kase... tara na." Agad kong sabi bago ipinasok lahat ng gamit ko sa bag. Medyo masama nga lang ang loob ko dahil naka-aksaya na naman ako ng isang papel sa sketchbook ko, baka hindi ko na mabura pa iyon. Tinitipid ko dahil nga galing iyon kay Kuya Vince.
Pagkapasok ko pa lang sa kotse niya ay muli ko na namang inilabas ang sketchbook ko. Itutuloy ko na lang ang mga ginuguhit kong gusali noon. I placed my bag over my lap, saka ko rin ipinatong ang sketchbook ko doon para gumuhit.
"Vaine.." I was surprised when he called me after he start the engine of his car. Hindi siya nakatingin sa akin. He rested his hand on the steering wheel, while the other one was holding the gear shifter.
"Bakit?"
"Do you mind if I'll bring you to the shooting range right now?" He asked slowly, he cleared his throat before he continue to speak, umayos pa siya ng kanyang upo.
"About the thing that you said the last time we went there, you want me to teach you?" he asked again, ngayon ay lumingon na siya sa akin. Para akong kinikiliti.
My jaw dropped, kasabay ng pagtalon ng puso ko. Is this for real? I'm already considering this as one of my 'dreams came true'.
"Oh my god, pumapayag ka na ba?" I asked happily, agad kong sinarado ang sketchbook ko because of excitement.
"Yeah? Sasaglit lang tayo do'n," he replied, mas lumawak ang ngiti. I'm excited!
But..
"Pero bago 'yon..." Ngayon naman ay ako naman ang napakamot sa aking ulo. Pinasadahan niya lang ako ng tingin, he raised his eyebrow, asking me why.
"Can I borrow a handkerchief or anything na meron ka? I just need to wipe this," sabi ko habang pinapakita ang pisngi ko sa kanya.
"Lalabahan ko, promise! Tapos ibabalik ko agad," I even raised my hand, maski na hindi pa ako marunong maglaba, pag-aaralan ko for him.
Tumikhim siya bago tumango. He opened the compartment of his car, my lips parted a bit when he handed me a wet wipes and a tissue? Buong pagtataka ko siyang tinignan, napaiwas siya ng tingin. Bakit parang namumula tenga niya?
Napakalinis niya namang tao, samantalang ako nakalimutan ko pa panyo ko.
"Ginagamit mo ba 'to pang linis ng sasakyan mo?" I innocently asked bago ako kumuha ng wet wipe doon.
He coughed kaya agad ako napatingin sa kanya.
"Are you okay?" I asked, medyo nag-aalala na. Ayos naman kasi siya kanina.
"Yeah. That tissue..." he paused. "--is just for emergency purposes." He added, bakit parang nauutal naman siya ngayon?
Napatango na lang ako. Naninibago ako sa kanya ngayon ha, nag e-explain siya maski hindi ko naman tinatanong kung para saan 'tong mga tissue dito sa sasakyan niya.
At saka, ano raw? For emergency purposes? Tulad ng ano?
"Good morning, Sir Dame. Good morning, Ma'am Vaine."
My lips parted a bit. Kilala na agad nila ako? Pero isang beses pa lang ako napupunta dito.
Dame just nodded his head habang tuloy-tuloy pa rin sa paglalakad. Samantalang ako ay binati rin sila pabalik, napaka rude ni Dame, ano kayang mahirap sa pagbati pabalik? Para lang akong aso na sunod-sunod sa kanya habang nakayuko at hawak sa aking harapan ang bag ko.
May mga nag gu-gun firing doon, halos mapuno rin ang mga lane. Madaming client?
Hihinto na sana ako sa sofa na pinag upuan ko noong una kong punta dito, ngunit nagulat ako nang tuloy-tuloy pa rin siya maglakad kaya sinundan ko siya nang patakbo. Lumiko pa kami sa isang pasilyo, nakaramdaam ako ng pagkasindak nang makita ang iilang baril na naka hang lang sa wall at nakalagay sa frame. Totoo kaya iyon o design lang?
We stop in front of a door, binuksan niya lang iyon at tuloy-tuloy na pumasok sa loob. I lifted my head first para mabasa ang plate na nakalagay sa pinto.
"For authorized person only?" I mumbled.
My jaw literarally dropped, my feet got stuck on the ground, I wasn't able to step forward immediately. Akala ko nakakasindak na yung sa hallyway, pero mas nakakasindak pa pala dito.
It's a room with full of different types of gun. Kulay pula ito. Pagkapasok pa lang ay makikita mo na ang dalawang sobrang laking frame na puno ng mga handgun na naka hang sa wall na kulay pula rin, sa gilid na pader naman ay puro rifle. Ibig sabihin ba ay totoo yung mga naka hang lang sa wall doon sa hallway.
My lips parted when I realized how wide it is, I'm really amazed. Buong buhay ko, ngayon lang ako nakapunta sa ganito, at puro totoong baril pa ang mga laman.
I roamed my eyes. Oh my god, machine gun ba yung isa doon?
"Are you surprised?" He chuckled after he took of his gym bag and placed it over the red sofa, sa likod non ay yung malaking frame na ng mga handgun. Parang nakakatakot naman umupo doon. Sinong gugustuhin umupo doon kung kagaya ko rin na first time mapunta sa gantong lugar? What is this place, really?
"Come here, I'll show you everything." He commanded, he motion his head. Unti-unti akong naglakad palapit doon, halatang kinakabahan pa rin.
"No one will shot you here, and they don't have any bullets yet," he added. Napahinga naman ako nang maluwag. "There's another room for ammunitions,"
"Meron pang iba?" I asked, a little bit shock. Shooting range lang ba talaga 'to?
"Yeah," he simply answered.
Nilapag ko na ang bag ko sa sofa, sinundan ko lang siya nang magsimula na siyang maglakad sa left side ng room, kung nasaan yung mga malalaking baril.
"On this side, you can see different types of firearms. Shotgun, pistol grip firearm, AR-15 type, AK type, and machine guns."
Maski tignan ko pa lang ay pakiramdam ko hindi ko kayang hawakan iyon, lalo na yung machine gun. Para silang mga aso na natatakot akong hawakan dahil baka mangagat. Wala rin akong idea sa mga pangalan o tawag sa baril na mga andoon.
"Sa kabila naman, I guess you already know these type of guns. Hunting rifles, more on rifles." He stated, napatango na lang ako ng marahan.
"These types of handgun are derringer, revolver, and pistol." Tukoy naman niya sa dalawang malaking frame sa gitna. Ang dami lahat ng andoon, I prefer these than those rifles. Pakiramdam ko, mas safe para sa akin, hindi ko naman kasi kaya yung ganon kalalaki sa mga rifles.
I pouted my lips when I remember that he said he will teach me, dapat nasa mismong shooting range kami ngayon 'diba?
"I'll teach you, this is just my introduction," he chuckled, as if he read my mind. "Can I see your hand?" He asked.
Maski naguguluhan ay lumapit ako sa pwesto niya, katabi niya ay yung mesa na may nakalapag rin na iba't ibang handgun, nakapatong iyon sa pulang tela.
"Women out there usually do have smaller hands, including you."
I gasped when he grab my hand. Para akong kinikiliti sa bawat paghaplos niya, tila sinusukat iyon. His hand is so big, kayang-kaya niyang sakupin ang buong kamay ko. I can see his veins, tapos ang puti niya pa kaya medyo namumula ang kanyang kamay.
I'm really acting cool, but deep down inside, my heart is going wild. Hindi biro ang mahawakan ng crush mo ang kamay mo, ha.
"If the gun does not fit in your hand, you cannot also use it properly," he stated before he let my hand go from his, agad siyang nagtingin sa mga baril doon.
Ngunit napahinto pa siya at tumingin sa'kin.
"That's why... size matters," he added before the side of his lips curved. My eyebrows furrowed, hindi ko malaman kung bakit may halong panunuya iyon. Hindi ko rin alam kung bakit siya nakangisi.
"When you choose a gun for yourself, your palm should have full contact with the backstrap. It should be perfectly fitted," he explained while showing me a gun na saktong-sakto lang sa kamay niya. Perfect grip iyon for him.
Muli niya iyong binalik sa lamesa. Nilihis niya ang kanyang longsleeve hanggang siko bago kumuha ulit ng panibagong baril.
"This gun has caliber 9mm, with the capacity of eight plus one. The grip is a little bit longer, which results to a solid firing grip during the draw, it's also slim that's why pwede rin sayo 'to."
He showed me pero hindi niya pinahawak sa akin, hahawakan ko pa lang sana pero nilayo niya na, napairap ako doon. Pure black ang kulay non. Nothing special, but still, it's a gun, nakakamatay. Muli niyang inilapag 'yon at kumuha ulit ng kasunod, my jaw dropped, it has a beautiful color! I love this one!
"As you can see, the color of the barrel is gray, while the grip is aqua. This is Ruger LC9s. Base on it's physical appearance, bagay na bagay sayo dahil babae ka. This pistol is very nice for women to use for self-defense, it uses seven-round, single-stack magazine, making it very slim like the first one that I showed. LC9s is chambered also in 9mm Luger."
"And the last one, Glock 43 caliber 9mm. This is what I can recommend for you. Glock 43 is quite comfortable, small frame can be fitted with your small-sized hand. The small frame and slide can ensure that your hands feel all the 9mm round's charge." He explained.
I thought gustong-gusto ko na yung kulay ng Ruger LC9s niya kanina, pero mas nagustuhan ko 'to. The barrel's color is gray, same as the trigger, but the whole grip is baby blue. Oh-my-gosh.
"Let's go," aya niya bago binalik yung mga baril doon.
My lips parted a bit, ganon lang kabilis? Tinignan ko lang siya nang may halong pagtataka, hindi ko siya sinundan kaya tumingin siya sa akin habang nakataas pa ang isang kilay, handa na ulit magsungit maski wala namang dahilan.
"P-Pero akala ko b-"
"I'll give you the Glock43 when you turn eighteen, I will also teach you how to use a gun. But for now, I need to drive you home because your mother's already looking for you. Let's go, before I change my mind," he coldly said before he went out from the room.
Napatulala pa ako saglit bago nagmamadaling kinuha ang bag ko sa sofa, baka magbago pa isip niya at bawiin ang sinabi niya. Is that for real? Hindi naman siguro siya lasing 'no? Alam niya naman siguro sinasabi niya. Pero gusto ko na rin ngayon magsimula! I'm so excited.
Ngumuso ako nang sumakay na rin siya sa kotse niya. We're really going home, parang gusto ko pa mag stay sa shooting range. Bakit ganon? Parang nagugustuhan ko na rin ang mga baril? Dati trip ko lang dahil crush ko siya, gusto ko siya sabayan, pero ngayon ay parang hindi lang ito dahil sa kanya, nagiging interesado na ako sa mga baril mismo and I didn't expect that. Gustong-gusto ko matuto.
"Can I ask you a question?" I asked nervously. Sinuot niya muna ang seatbelt niya bago ako sinagot.
"What is it?"
"Bakit ayaw mo sa mas bata?" Diretso kong tanong, halos makurot ko ang sarili ko.
I can't no longer restrain myself from asking him that kind of question, I've been curious for a long time, dati ko pa iniisip kung bakit parang allergic na allergic siya sa mas bata sa kanya. Hindi ko talaga mahanap kung anong mali doon, hindi naman siya makikipag relasyon sa batang-bata talaga, atleast they aren't minors.
I guess okay yung timing mag tanong ngayon kasi hindi siya mukhang masungit, ang bilis ng mood swing niya.
"You really want me to answer that right now?" He clenched his jaw, the grip of his hand on the steering wheel tightened.
Nakaramdam tuloy ako ng kaba, binabawi ko na ang mga sinabi ko kanina. Ngayon ay pakiramdam ko may namumuong luha na sa mga mata ko. I'm so stupid, gumagawa ako ng sarili kong hukay.
"I'm sorry, I di-"
Pinatay niya saglit ang makina ng kanyang sasakyan.
"I don't know the right words to say but..."
I heard him sighed. Sinandal niya ang kanyang ulo, I saw how his adam's apple moved.
"It's really okay if you-"
"Three years ago, I had a girlfriend. I was eighteen years old back then, she's sixteen--'" He paused, isang buntong hininga na naman ang kanyang pinakawalan bago muling tumingin sa akin.
I can see the pain in his eyes, na dati naman ay hindi ko mabasa o malaman kung bakit, pero ngayon... kitang-kita ko iyon.
"--and she died because of me."
Kuya Elmar went out from the car to help me because of the heavy rain again, agad niya akong pinayungan hanggang sa makatapak ako sa pathway ng school na may silong. I immediately checked if my books got drench, mas niyakap ko pa ito kaysa sa bag ko. All my reviewers are here, sinipag ako magsulat-sulat kagabi kaya todo ingat ako."Thank you po, kuya." I politely stated, ngumiti pa ako sa kanya. Kuya Elmar is really good-hearted, kaya ang tagal niya na rin sa pamilya namin. Si Kuya Vince pa lang ang nag-aaral noon dito ay andito na rin siya."Walang anuman po, ma'am. Maaga po ulit ako manunundo mamaya. Pasensya na po talaga noong nakaraan, biglang nilagnat anak ko," medyo nahihiya pa siya nang sabihin iyon. "You don't have to be sorry, Kuya. How is she pala?" I asked. Pasimple kong tinignan ang aking relo, it's almost time, ayaw ko naman biglang umalis na lang. Feeling ko ang rude ko, nag tanong ako tapos hindi ko lang din hihintayin ang sagot."Okay na siya, ma'am. Salamat na rin
"Anong oras ka uuwi? Bakit ba kasi sa bahay pa ng mga kaklase mo?" Mommy asked while baking some pastries in the kitchen."Oo nga, babe. You can do your project here in our house, sila nalang papuntahin mo dito. May pastry pa from mom," ate Vivian suggested while she's cleaning her nails, naglalagay siya ng nail polish doon saka hinihipan.I bit my tongue inside of my mouth. White lies, I told them a white lie. Kila Dame talaga ako pupunta ngayon para sa gun firing lesson ko. Katatapos ko lang maligo, tapos ngayon ay parang nagbabago na ang isip nila mommy payagan ako. I need to convince her more."Strict po parents nung mga kasama ko," I lied. Patawad na agad sa nasa itaas. Minsan lang 'to, promise.I didn't plan to tell them because I know mom, baka itulak tulak niya ako kay Dame, nakakahiya naman kay tita Danica. It seems like she wants better for her son, and tanggap ko naman na hindi ako ganon. Pero bakit ba? Crush ko lang naman, e. At saka, magpapaturo lang naman talaga ako sa k
QueriejeroNkls: Good morning munchkin, have a nice day!QueriejeroDame: Morning, we'll go to the shooting range laterSmile automatically flashed on my lips. Bilang teenager ay achievement na rin ma-send-an ka ng message ng crush mo. My cheeks immediately turned red like a tomato when I remember what we did last day and naalala ko rin ang sobrang galit sa akin ni mommy. Sobra rin ang kaba ko doon, muntikan ako ma-grounded pero to the rescue si ate Vivian kaya nalusutan.I replied to Niklaus first.VaineReneé: Good morning, Nik! Ingat ka sa pagpasok :DThen si Dame, iba talaga pagdating sa kanya. My hands were already shaking, and my heart is pounding so hard, magrereply lang naman ako. Binaon ko ang kalahati ng mukha ko sa unan bago nag send ng reply sa kanya. VaineReneé: Good morning! Paano?QueriejeroDame: We'll see each other at the parking lotVaineReneé: Okay!Impit akong napatili dahil doon, kinagat ko na lang ang unan para hindi ako makagawa ng ingay. Agad agad akong napabango
"In five minutes nasa Guyam Island na tayo."Tila nabuhay ang buong pagkatao ko nang humarap si tita Danica from the front seat para sabihin na malapit na kami, para tuloy akong kinikilig dahil doon. Kasama namin si Dame, Zadkiel, at Tita Danica sa iisang van. Si Tito Ramon kasi ay andoon na sa rest house nila sa Siargao kasama si Niklaus at Eloisa.Mula dito sa loob ng van ay kitang-kita ko ang mga nadadaanan naming coconut trees. Coconut is the ubiquitous sight in this island. I pulled out my DSLR and took some photographs from the palm tree-lined street against pastel blue sky. I'm really so amazed by the lush green coconut trees lined up on the road, sobrang ganda pagmasdan. Very refreshing!Kung pwede ko lang ilabas ang aking kamay dito para damahin ang hangin, pero siyempre pagbabawalan ako nila mommy, baka raw kasi may biglang mabilis magpatakbo ng sasakyan at mahagip ang kamay ko."Your shots are beautiful, babe. After this may maidagdag ka na namang pictures sa room mo," ate
R-18"It's your birthday next week," sambit ni Niklaus habang may hawak na maliit at mapayat na tangkay ng puno na nakuha niya lang sa dinadaanan namin kanina, marahan siyang gumuguhit ng kung ano sa buhangin.Kasalukuyan kaming naka upo sa buhanginan habang pinapanood ang mga alon. Tirik ang araw ngunit hindi namin iyon ininda, naglatag lamang ako ng sarong doon para pag upuan namin. Ang iba ay namamasyal, kami lang ata ni Niklaus ang tinamad mag lakad lakad ngayon. Si Dame, kasama ata ang daddy niya, mukhang may pinag-uusapang mahalaga. It's our last day here in Siargao, nakakalungkot. Aayain ko talaga sila mommy bumalik dito.I giggled when I read what he wrote."Happy eighteenth birthday, munchkin?"He tilted his head so that he could see me properly."Yeah, and I cannot go. Sumabay pa exam, badtrip," he hissed.Napalabi lamang ako habang pinagmamasdan siya. Ang kanyang dalawang kamay ay naka tukod sa kanyang likuran, bilang suporta sa kanyang bigat. His forehead creased because o
Alam ko na agad na nasa kama ko na ako, I can smell my pillows, the scent of my room. Gumalaw akong bahagya, the soreness down there told me that what happened earlier is real. Hindi lang iyon ang masakit, even my thighs and my back are sore! Halos ayaw ko na bumangon dahil konting galaw lang ay nararamdaman ko na lahat.I immediately blushed when I remember what I did-- what we did.Ramdam ko na may suot akong underwear and shirt under my sheets. Siya na rin ba nagbihis sa akin? It's impossible na hindi, hindi naman pwedeng tulog ako na binihisan ang sarili ko.Agad ko nilibot ang paningin ko. Wala ni isang bakas si Dame dito sa loob ng aking kwarto ngunit nakita ko agad ang pag ilaw ng cellphone ko, pikit pa rin ang aking isang mata nang kunin ko iyon, walang balak bumango.I smiled from ear to ear when I saw his name on my notifications.QueriejeroDame: Good morning. I'm sorry for leaving after you sleep, your mom might caught us, I know you're not comfortable with the idea that th
It's Saturday, ginugol ko ang aking oras sa aming mini garden. Naka upo ako sa may swing habang hawak hawak ko ang aking sketchbook. Dahil sa malaki ang swing na 'to ay agad akong nag indian sit, pinwesto ko sa kanang hita ko ang aking cellphone—kung saan pinag gagayahan ko ng mukha ni Dame. I captured it, it's a candid shot. It was taken a week ago, before my birthday, when we're in Siargao. Bigla ko tuloy namiss agad doon.Masarap langhapin ang sariwang simoy ng hangin dito, mas gumagana kasi ang creative juices ko kapag tahimik at payapa ang paligid. I giggled when I saw his smug face picture in my phone. I bit my lower lip as I started to draw a portrait of him, bawat kurba at sulok ay sinisigurado kong maayos at malinis ang pagkakaguhit ko. Inabot ako ng ilang minuto nang simulan ko ang kanyang mata, his captivating eyes captured my heart. Ngumuso ako nang makaramdam ng kilig, naputol lang iyon nang mag vibrate ang cellphone ko sa aking hita.Speaking of the handsome devil.Quer
"Hindi pa ba umuuwi ang kuya niyo? Anong oras na, ah?" tanong ni mommy habang nagluluto ng ulam namin for dinner. Hindi pa lang tapos iyon ay amoy na amoy ko na ang aroma nito, pakiramdam ko tuloy ay may nagwawalang tigre sa loob ng tiyan ko, sabik na kumain.Parehas kami ni ate Vivian nabaling ang tingin doon, I took a gaze at our clock. It's almost 8pm, we checked our phone, pero wala rin kaming nakitang kahit anong message doon. Kadalasan kasi ay nagsasabi si kuya Vince kapag male-late siya ng uwi, ngayon lang hindi. 6pm ay andito na 'yon lagi sa bahay."Wala bang sinabi sa inyo? Baka kasama niya si Dame mag dinner, hayaan niyo na at hapon pa naman ang flight namin bukas," sambit ni daddy bago uminom sa kanyang kape.Nasa salas kaming tatlo, nanunuod ng series sa Netflix habang si mommy ay nagluluto sa kusina. Kanina pa sila naka empake ng mga gamit nila, para diretso pahinga na sana sila pagkatapos ng dinner. Ngunit ngayon ay pinoproblema nila si kuya Vince dahil hindi pa rin siya
"You still haven't met my sister. Uuwi ka na agad ulit?" Vince asked the same question he'd ask me everytime we're stopping by here in their house.I'm already at their veranda when he stalked me, I was about to go home. Galing kami sa shooting range ng pamilya ko. This is our routine whenever we have free time—usually after exams but these past few weeks mas nagiging madalas na at mas nagiging close na rin ako sa kanya.He's my senior from the school that I'm going, we have the same course, and we became close because of some duties and responsibilities. It's like a student council, but not really much.He's smart, and he's looking forward for me to take his position to lead when he graduated. He's kind too, that's why I offer him to go to our shooting range and have a session there, for free—but no—I really pay for it without him knowing. I know he can pay, but it's just my way of giving back for his affability. I can say that he treats me like his younger brother as months and year
Warning: Violence, self-harm, drowning, vomit.My head is throbbing so bad, the pulse from the side of my head gone wild, that's what I felt first when I regained my consciousness. My arms, hands, and legs feel so numb and paralyzed. I think my bones aren't broken but it's aching, it felt sore and weak. Blood and sweat is all I can smell. My knees are steady and even I still can't fully grasp what's happening, it's wobbling from fear and nervousness. I tried to move my body but I teetered, that's when I realized I've been tied up to a chair. I hissed when I felt that I've been tied up for so long that it scratched my skin and there's already a blood on it.I slowly opened my eyes and it's still blurry and I'm still dazed. It feels like I'm in a glass and it's cold outside that's why it's moistening, that's how my vision looks like."Gising na ang pinakamamahal na bunso," isang mapanuyang boses and agad kong narinig.May narinig akong halakhak sa isang gilid. Tila kalabit, pinilit kon
My hands are still shaking when I grabbed a mop from our storage room. My tears kept on falling down my cheeks like a stream. Ang ilang segundo lang na pagkuha non ay tumagal ng ilang minuto dahil tila hindi kumokonekta ang kilos ko sa utak ko. Kasabay ng pagtulo ng aking luha ay siya ring pakirot ng aking puso habang nililinis ang inilabas kong kinain kani-kanina lang. I like to run away after this. I like to run away from all of my problems. But how? Is it worth it? It's not the time to run away, I can feel that we're near the truth, we're near to claim the justice for Kuya. Should I keep this on myself first? Kaya ko ba? Hindi...I got too tired and exhausted from where we've been. I drained my energy from the informations that we've learned-tapos ganito pa ang madadatnan ko dito. Sana ay binaril na lang din ako para minsanang hirap at sakit lang. "Vaine, anak? Andito ka na pala... Kamusta ang pagpunta ninyo ni Dame? Anong balita, anak?" Now all I can see is red. When I heard h
WARNING: mature content, mention of violence, vomiting."Did you just tell me that an unknown person submitted a new lead to open your brother's case again?" Gianna asked, like she's confirming it and she needed to hear it twice.I nodded. I grabbed the cup of my coffee, I enveloped it with my both hands just to feel its warm. Until now I can feel the shivering of my soul since our last day in Siargao. I can still remember how my heart beated abnormally, and until now—I still can feel the same. Hindi ako mapakali.Andito kami ngayon sa café ni Niklaus, kasama si Kael. Halos tatlong araw na ang nakalilipas mula nang makauwi kami, kinabukasan no'n ay dumiretso agad kami sa presinto. The presecutor are also there, ilang araw din ang nagdaan upang siguraduhing tunay ang nakuha nilang bagong imposrmasyon.Bukas ay pupunta kami doon, baka si Dame na lang ang kasama ko dahil si mommy ay binabantayan si Ate Vivian, medyo lumalala kasi ang pagsakit ng kanyang ulo nitong mga nakaraang araw. Aya
Morning after that, I just felt him hugging me—shirtless, with his boxers only. Ang kanyang mukha ay nakabaon sa aking leeg, nakayakap ang kamay niya sa aking bewang habang ang kanyang kanang paa ay medyo naka dagan sa akin. Akala mo tatakasan, e. He’s like a koala. I spent the night inside his room. Whenever I shift away to check my phone if there’s any message from mom and Ate Vivian—he will roll over too while still asleep, just to follow me. He nested his face on my neck while his hand sprawled across my stomach, under my shirt—uh, his shirt. I immediately get back to my room without waking him up because he looks so peaceful while sleeping, he’s also snoring but not that loud—it’s sounds so soft. I smiled because he looked like a baby even when he's grumpy when he's awake.Nag iwan na lang ako ng note sa headboard ng kama niya. I put my dress again, with still his boxers on. My body felt so sore even we just did a damn dry-hump. I felt so tired and sleepy but I still managed to
Warning: Mature content. Read at your own risk."Tell me more about him, Ate. You're so unfair! Akala ko ba hindi tayo magtatago ng kahit ano mula sa isa't isa?" sumimangot ako habang naka-krus pa ang braso sa dibdib.Narinig ko lang ang halakhak niya maski wala naman nakakatawa sa sinabi ko. She's busy putting her bags inside the car trunk while patiently hearing my rants about her unrevealed past with that hot doctor! Don't judge me, I'm just saying the truth. I'm describing him the way I see him.Medyo nakaka-recover na si Ate sa nangyaring aksidente. Nagiging maingat pa rin kami, ang binubuhat niya lang ngayon ay yung maliit niyang bag na naglalaman ng toiletries niya. Sila Dame ang nagsasakay at nag-aasikaso nung ibang mga bagahe.We're preparing to go to the airport para sa flight namin papunta sa Siargao, private plane nila Dame ang gagamitin. Kasabay na namin si Tita Danica, Tito Ramon, Dame, and Niklaus sa pagbyahe papunta roon. Just like the old times, wala nga lang si Zadki
“You’re late,” I hissed when I saw him rushing inside. He cracked a smile and ignored what I've said. He’s wearing a denim jacket with a white shirt inside of it, and his necklace. He’s literally twenty minutes late and I don’t know what his reason is. Vince Hermano is always earlier than any scheduled time of meeting or what. We decided to have an ‘oh-so-called-bonding’ tonight since he’s leaving. We'll see each other after so many years again, we don’t know exactly when—he’s a very busy person now, ever since he graduated. He went straight to one of the lanes, he’s already assembling a gun when I stepped in. “I had a talk with my sister,” now he‘s explaining. Wait. Sister? Which one? Vaine or Vivian? My jaw ticked when I remembered the last time I talked with Vaine, I could say that we’re currently not okay, we need to talk. I want to settle with her and I’m really planning to talk about it, I’m just giving her time. I don’t want to exhaust her. We’ve been through a lot of thi
I was too stunned to speak when I saw Tita Danica in front of me, she’s alone. I tried to utter some words as fast as I can but I failed. My brain is still occupied by Dame’s words earlier. My hands started to feel clammy and I’m already sweating bullets. I feel like there's a hurricane inside me, my stomach is turning upside down. I feel nauseated because of nervousness. “Do you want to talk, hija?” she asked as she gave me a small smile. Her eyes are encouraging me to say 'yes'.My lips parted, trying to speak again. Hindi pa rin ako nakaka-move on sa pag-uusap namin ni Dame kanina but I can’t turn Tita Danica down even though I think I already have an idea about what we’re going to talk about, lalo na‘t mukhang pinuntahan niya pa ako dito. I think this is the right time for us to talk, ang tagal na rin noong huli, pare-parehas silang hindi ko na nakausap pagkatapos nung gabing sinabing isa si Dame sa suspect sa pagkamatay ni kuya. How did she know that I’m here by the way? “S-
“Vaine, I will not let you drive like that,” he uttered gently. His hand is brushing my arms, inaalo ako upang lumabas na dito sa kotse ko. Habang ako ay nanatiling nakatulala.“Baby, come on… I’m here…” Nanginginig pa rin ako nang mas buksan niya ang pinto para i-check kung ayos lang ako. Marahan niya akong inalalayan pababa at nagpatianod lang ako sa kanya dahil sa sobrang panghihina.Tulala ako hanggang sa makasakay na ako sa sasakyan niya, he made sure that my seatbelt is locked before he typed something on his phone, he placed that on his ear before he took a glance at me while he's still on the outside. I can see the concern in his eyes but I can’t fully grasped what’s happening right now. “Niklaus… You’re not busy, right?... Yeah, I heard… We’re now going… Can you pick Vaine’s car here at…” Wala na akong naintindihan doon dahil ang tanging nasa utak ko lang ay naaksidente si Ate Vivian at kailangan ko pumunta agad doon sa hospital na tinext ni mommy kanina. Sunod-sunod na n