Kade POVThe silence is unbearable.It presses against my skin, suffocating, making my head fucking pound with the weight of everything Rook isn’t saying. His grip is still tight on the wheel, his jaw locked, his entire body tense, like he’s bracing for something. Like he knows what’s coming and refuses to stop it.I shouldn’t have fucking said anything. I should’ve let this ride out until it was obvious, until I caught him slipping away instead of forcing him to admit it.But he won’t even fucking do that.“You know what’s worse than you deciding I wasn’t worth it?” My voice is sharp, but there’s a shake to it I hate, a fucking weakness I can’t control. “The fact that you don’t even have the balls to say it.”His fingers flex against the wheel, his mouth pressing into a hard line. “Kade...”“Don’t.” I cut him off before he can try to smooth this over, before he can say something that sounds like an excuse but is really just a way to push this under the fucking rug. ”Don’t say my name
Rook’s POVThe moment Kade disappears into his apartment, I grip the wheel tighter, staring at the door for a second longer than I should before finally pressing the gas. I don’t know where the fuck I’m driving, but I need to move, need to put distance between me and the way he looked at me before he walked away.Sleep never came last night, not that I expected it to. How the fuck could I sleep knowing what I know? Every second I spent lying next to him, feeling the warmth of his body against mine, I knew it was temporary. I knew the truth was coming, and when it did, it would rip through everything we built and leave nothing behind.Getting over what my family did to his is one thing, hell, getting over my family killing his dad as some fucked-up revenge after he killed my grandfather? That would take more than just time. But him finding out it was me? Even if I was just sixteen, even if I had no idea who the man was at the time—no. There’s no way back from that.And even if somehow
Rook POVI grip the wheel tighter, my jaw clenched as I pull onto the highway, but my mind is still in that fucking locker room. My body aches, not from playing hard, but from playing like shit. I had no rhythm, no edge, no fucking fight in me, and everyone saw it. I couldn’t even pretend I was fine.I should go home. I should go back, shower off the loss, sleep off the weight pressing against my ribs, and move the fuck on. That’s what I’d normally do.But I know that if I go back, if I lay in that massive, empty bed, I’ll think about him. I’ll think about how his body felt against mine when we woke up yesterday, how he was warm and steady and mine, even if neither of us said it out loud. I’ll think about how, for once, I actually fucking believed I could have something real.And then I’ll remember the way he looked at me when I didn’t answer him. When he knew.My fingers flex around the wheel as I exhale through my nose. I need something else. Something that will pull me out of this.
Kade’s POVYesterday was fucking hell.Throwing myself into training was supposed to help, supposed to get my head straight, but it didn’t do shit. The only thing I got out of it was medical clearance to play again. Which means I will be playing.It also means my next game is against Rook’s team.I don’t want to think about that. I don’t want to think about seeing him on the ice, about how it’ll feel to line up against him, to hear his voice, to deal with whatever bullshit he’s going to throw at me. Because I know him. He won’t just ignore me. He’ll push. He always pushes.But that’s not today’s problem.Today is just training.Fastening my skates, I pull my gloves on, adjusting them as I glance up. Tyler’s watching me from across the room, arms crossed, waiting. I knew this was coming. I should apologize. The last time we spoke was at that bar when I flipped the fuck out on all of them.Sighing, I shove up from the bench and walk over. “Look, I was a dick,” I mutter, rubbing a hand o
Kade POVGritting my teeth, I scroll through my contacts until I find another name, one I shouldn’t be calling.After a few rings, the call picks up.“Mercer?”“Yeah, it’s me.” My voice is steady, cold, sharper than I feel inside. “The next game, what are the rules? You haven’t been in touch, and I need to know in time.”I shouldn’t be doing this. I know that. But right now, I need something, some kind of connection back to Rook. And if the only way to get that is through his father, through Nikolai, then fuck it.A loud sigh comes through the line. “Mercer, forget the deal we had.”I freeze. ”What?" My grip on the phone tightens. “That’s a joke, right? What the hell is going on? There’s no way you’d suddenly stop blackmailing me, unless Rook told you to.” My stomach twists. “Which means Rook did care, but he sure as fuck didn’t act like it.”Maybe I’m grasping at anything. Maybe I just need an explanation for why everyone suddenly seems content to leave me behind.“Rook hasn’t said s
Kade POVThe air outside hits like a shock to the system, cool against my overheated skin. The alley behind the club is dimly lit, the distant hum of the city still alive beyond the walls, but out here, it feels separate. Quieter.The guy, fuck, I don’t even know his name, leans in again, his breath warm against my jaw as he presses me back against the brick wall, hands sliding under the hem of my shirt.I should stop this, but I don’t.Because if I stop, if I think, I’ll remember. I’ll remember the way Rook’s hands felt instead, the way he kissed me like he owned me, like he knew every part of me that I wouldn’t admit to anyone else. I’ll remember that he’s the only one who’s ever been able to get under my skin, the only one who’s ever made me want something more.I can’t fucking think about that.So instead, I tilt my head, letting my teeth graze against this stranger’s throat, letting my hands slide against unfamiliar skin, letting the haze of alcohol and bad decisions keep me from
Kade POVMy eyes flicker down and I see the body, what the fuck am I doing? I try to push him off, but he pins me harder, his hips moving quick.“You don’t fucking own me anymore. You can’t do this,” I growl.He chuckles darkly, biting my neck, and thrusting deeper. I groan and give in. “You still think you’re the main character in your own story, don’t you, Mercer?” Rook breathes against my lips, his voice dark, mocking. “That’s cute. You were written out the moment you let me inside you. You don’t exist without me now.” His hands tighten as his hips snap forward, pressing me harder against the wall. “And you fucking love it.”A sharp, guttural sound escapes me, half a groan, half a curse. “You’re so full of shit.”His teeth scrape my jaw as he exhales a rough laugh. “Then tell me to stop.”I should. I should tell him to fuck off, to walk away, to leave me the fuck alone.But I don’t, because I hate him. And I need him, and he fucking knows it.I was fucking stupid for thinking that
Rook’s POVCall me an asshole because I fucking am.All I’ve done is watch Kade, from a distance, from the shadows. From the driver’s seat of my car parked outside his apartment while he lives his life without me. Just because I needed to be close to him in some way, even if I wasn’t allowed to touch him.But that all went to shit real fast.I thought I could handle it. Thought I could see him move on, watch him with someone else, let him fuck someone else, and just walk away. Like it wouldn’t fucking tear me apart.I was wrong. The second I saw that guy’s hands on him, his mouth on Kade’s skin, his fingers undoing his own belt, something inside me snapped.I don’t even remember moving. One second I was watching, telling myself to let it happen, and the next, my gun was in my hand, my finger was on the trigger, and the bastard was on the ground bleeding out at my feet.The worst part? I didn’t feel a single ounce of regret.I felt relieved.Because Kade wasn’t his to touch. He never f
Kade POVFinally, he exhales, looking out toward the lake. “I used to imagine what it’d be like if we weren’t always fighting, you know?”I stay silent, letting him keep going.“If we weren’t always trying to one-up each other on the ice, or arguing over who was the bigger dumbass in the relationship,” he continues. “What it’d be like to just… exist together. Without all the extra shit.”I take a step closer. “And?”He shrugs, eyes flicking back to mine. “I think I’d like it.”I grin because that’s as close to a confession as I’m going to get from him.Rook sighs, shaking his head. “You’re so fucking smug right now, aren’t you?”“A little.”He huffs but doesn’t push me away when I grab his wrist and pull him closer. The lanterns glow softly around us, the lake stretching o
Kade POVSitting here, I watch Rook, really watch him, and I can see it. The way his fingers tighten slightly around his glass, the way his jaw tenses just a little too much. He’s worried.I get it. This is a shift neither of us expected. I didn’t even expect it. But the more I think about it, the more I know this is what needs to happen.Sure, I love hockey, and I always will, but it takes time away from work, which then takes time away from Rook. If I have to choose, I’ll take him every time, and maybe that’s the biggest difference.For years, I didn’t think I had a choice. Hockey was survival. Work was control. Everything else was just existing between the cracks. Rook just existed between the cracks. Now, I can choose, and I want to I choose him.Leaning forward, I rest my arms on the table, waiting until his eyes flick back to mine. “I’m not saying I won’t play again, Rook. I’m saying I wan
Rook POVI swallow, gripping the edge of the table. “So, what? You’re just done with it?” I need to know, I need to try and understand his reasoning behind this. It's not a small change, it's big. It's not simply cutting back how much he plays and trains, it's stopping, entirely. I can't just, accept that, not without knowing that he's sure. Totally sure.“I don’t know.” His voice is quieter now, like even he doesn’t have a clear answer. “I just know that for the first time in my life, I have a choice.”A choice, that's what this is all about, this isn’t just about hockey at all, this is about everything. About him finally feeling like he’s not fighting for every single thing in his life. I don’t know if I should be proud of him for realizing that… or fucking terrified of what it means for us.I shake my head, trying to process this. “How do you suddenly go from loving ho
Rook POVMaybe this trip really is what we needed and maybe, for once, we can actually just be.Dinner is easy. The kind of normal we don’t usually get. We order, we eat, and we talk. Actually talk, without me feeling like I have to pry every word out of him.At some point, the conversation shifts to hockey. It’s familiar territory, something we’ve always been able to talk about no matter how much shit was going on.Kade twirls the last bite of pasta on his fork, glancing up at me. “So, how pissed were you when I didn’t show up for the game?”I scoff. “How pissed? I was fucking livid. Thought about hunting your ass down and dragging you onto the ice myself.”He smirks. “Wouldn’t be the first time you’ve manhandled me.”Rolling my eyes, I groan. “Don’t try and turn this into something else. You left me to deal with a fucking rookie.”Kade c
Rook POVThe villa is fucking ridiculous. The kind of place you see in movies, huge windows that overlook the lake, open spaces, marble floors that I know I’m going to hate walking on in the morning when they’re cold as hell.Kade steps inside first, rolling his shoulders like he’s preparing himself for something, but I ignore it, walking straight past him and toward the bedroom. “Come on, we’re going out.”He groans behind me. “We just got here.”“And?” I glance over my shoulder, smirking. “Did you think I was going to let you sit inside and mope?”He mutters something under his breath, but I don’t wait for him, grabbing my bag and pulling out fresh clothes. By the time I’m dressed, Kade has finally dragged his ass to change too, standing in front of the mirror adjusting his shirt.He looks good. Annoyingly good. Like he belongs in this kind
Kade POV“If I handle my shit, me, not you, because it’s me fucking things up, then we come back to the conversation in six months.”He groans. “Six months?”“You’re acting like it’s years.”He nods quickly. “In Rook time, that is years.”“Rook time? What are you now, a fucking dog?” I laugh, and he nods without hesitation.“If it works for them, it works for me!”“You’re delusional. Do you agree or not?” I look at him, waiting.Chewing his lip, he tilts his head before finally nodding. “Deal. Six months, and we get a kid.”“No, that is not what I fucking said.” I glare at him.“Would you even know if I did it without you?” He smirks.I glare harder. “The screaming baby when I came home would be proof you had. Six months, and we talk.”His grin widens, but at least he doesn’t argue. Instead, he stretches out in his seat, looking far too pleased with himself.I narrow my eyes. “You’re not going
Kade POVThe sound of Rook pulls me from my sleep. Groaning, I try to get more comfortable.“Kade,” he whispers, and I groan.“No.” I’m sleeping. He can leave me alone.“Wake up.”Shaking my head, I keep my eyes closed. “Shh.”He chuckles quietly. “You need to wake up.”“Five more minutes,” I whisper.“As nice as it has been to have you this close for the last, like, eight hours, the plane is descending, and my body is numb.”I move slightly and realize. “Shit.” I fell asleep on him. I pull back slightly, and he’s smirking at me. “Sorry.”“It was highly amusing. One moment we were talking, then you were snoring in my ear. No warning, nothing.”I rub my face, trying to wake myself up. “I slept the whole flight?”“You did. On me.” He smirks, and I nod.“Sorry. You should have woken me and told me to move.” What sort of idiot doesn’t? I remember we got cleaned up and dressed. Then he pulled me back onto him.What the hell were we talking about? My mind tries to think back. I just remembe
Rook POVKade’s fingers move to undo the rest of my buttons, and I lift my hips to help him slide my trousers down. His eyes never leave mine, and I can see the fire in them. I reach up and run my fingers through his hair, pulling him closer to me.His hand wraps around my cock and I shudder at the touch, my body betraying my earlier reservations. He smirks, knowing he’s won this round, and leans in to press a kiss to my neck. The sensation of his lips on my skin sends a thrill down my spine, and I can’t help but let out a low moan.Kade takes this as encouragement and continues to explore my body with his mouth. His tongue traces a path along my collarbone, and I can feel my resolve weakening with every passing second. I try to remind myself that this isn’t the right time, that we have more important things to focus on, but it’s hard to think straight when Kade is making me feel this good.He drops to his knees in front of me and I can feel his hot breath on my cock, and I know what’s
Rook POVKade hasn’t moved much since he finally let himself collapse into me. He’s still pressed against my side, his head resting against my shoulder, his breathing is slower now, but there’s still something off. He’s not asleep, but he’s not really here either. He’s stuck somewhere in his own fucking head, lost in thoughts I can’t pull him out of, so I just sit here with him, my arm around him, my hand rubbing slow, steady circles on his back.I don’t rush him, I don’t tell him to get up, get over it, and move on.I just wait, because for once, he’s not trying to pretend.The car slows, the subtle shift in movement telling me we’ve arrived at the airstrip. I glance out the window and see the jet waiting, the engines already running, ready to take us the fuck away from here.Damon is standing by the car before we even get out, his face unreadable as he opens the door. “Rose t