3. It’s in the Waiting

Finn felt the anger building inside of him.  

He wanted revenge and it didn't matter that Hal was dead.

Someone else was going to have to pay for his sins.

Who should he go after for killing Jude?

and Lili! She was brutally violated and someone would pay!

Oh someone would pay...

Shaking his shoulder gently, Billy woke Finn saying, "Hey man!  Wake up!"

Finn looked around and was disoriented.  Where was he?

Rubbing his eyes he looked at Billy for a few seconds until the trauma of the day hit him like a ton of bricks.  

Billy continued, "Come on, man.  You're being discharged so you can get up and get dressed.  You're clothes are in your bag along with your keys to the apartment."

Finn was still groggy from his nightmare sleep and he was still trying to register where he was and then looked at Billy again before he grunted.  He swung his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed them to gain back the feeling in them before gently getting out of bed.  

He reached over and rummaged through his duffel bag, grabbing his jeans and t-shirt and was thankful that there was another flannel.  He dressed quickly and then he turned to Billy and said, "Thanks for taking care of this for me.  I couldn't have done this alone."

"No problem.  Oh and I called your parents and explained the situation and said you were a hero and that you would need to slow down a bit for a few weeks but otherwise good.  So don't forget to call them.  Russel knows your in here.  Hell the entire valley knows what happened today.  Call him too."

"Thanks Billy.  Do you know where my cell phone is?" 

Billy shook his head to indicate that he didn't but spotted Finn's clothing that he was wearing and pointed to them before saying, "Check in that mess."

Finn grimaced at the memories while searching through the plastic bag that held his stiff and bloody clothing.  He found his pocket knife and grabbed his wallet but his phone was not with his clothes.  He saw his work boots and decided to put them on and look for his phone again later, but he discovered the phone in one of his boots.  

Phone in hand and his wallet in his back pocket he turned to Billy and said, "I will make sure to call both of them but I really need to see Lili."

"Hold that thought," nurse Brie said.  "I just need to go over these discharge papers with you and then maybe Billy can take you to the critical care unit where Lili is."  She put the packet of papers down and he signed multiple copies and listened politely to her instructions but in reality he didn't hear a word.  

The only thoughts occupying his brain were of Lili and her recovery.  

Within minutes they were walking down corridor after corridor on their way to Lili's room in intensive care and Finn's stomach was a bunch of twisted knots.  He ran his free hand through his hair and wondered what the hell was going on.  His emotions for her were wracked with confusion.  He felt as if his entire world was in turmoil over a woman he had never spoken to before today.  

They made it to her small hospital room and Finn gave Billy a hug and thanked him again.  Turning into her small room, Finn immediately kissed Lili's forehead and sat by her side, intertwining their hands together.   

Billy stayed outside and watched this strange situation unfold.  He knew Finn had stayed away from Lili because of his past and was worried about the train wreck that could ensue if she rejected Finn when she woke.  If that happened, he would rally the guys around Finn and do his best to protect him.

For now, Billy tipped his hat and slowly faded away down the corridor hoping for the best for Finn and Lili.  

Finn stayed by her side, holding her hand and talking to her throughout the day.  By about 7 pm he realized that he was famished and needed to eat but didn't want to leave her side.  Heading to the nurses station he discussed with the nurse that he was just getting food and would be right back.  

He was frantic in search of the cafeteria and grabbed a couple of water bottles, a soda and a prepared Italian Hoagie.  He paid for his feast and headed straight back to her room.  As soon as he finished eating, his hands were intertwined in hers again.  

With a full stomach and a sore body that was still recovering from the trauma of the day, he put his head down on the bed and immediately fell asleep.  This time it wasn't restful or dreamless.  

Finn was walking down a dimly lit passageway and he could smell the odor of urine and vomit.  He could hear the screams of pleasure and agony.  He knew behind the closed doors was the passions of human depravity, a mixture of sex and drugs.  Limitless highs and unbearable lows.  

He kept walking down the seamlessly unending hallway and passed each locked door without a desire to gain access until he stood before an unlocked door, that was slightly ajar.  He heard a woman's voice begging to be set free and he pushed the door open and ran in as she screamed in agony.  

He watched helplessly as their ghostly shadows horrifically played out the abuse that Hal imparted on Lili.  Finn reached out to pull Hal away but his hand went through the ethereal illusion before him.

These were just shadows of the past and he stood there impotent, watching as she was beaten and violently attacked.  Stripped of her clothing, Hal penetrated her to screams and pleading for him to stop.

Finn tried to look away.  His heart was racing and he felt anger and venom cross through his veins.  Every time he looked away or closed his eyes, the images reset and he was forced to rewatch the entire scene.  

He begged for Hal to stop with tears flowing down his face.  He felt as if he was five years old and was drowning helplessly in a see of violence.  Trying to reach out for Lili again, he fell down a black hole and tumbled over and over again the entire distance and landed somewhere deep below on his back with a load thud.  

He grunted and slowly stood to his full height.  He couldn't see anything but darkness.  Complete and utter darkness except for a small light down another endless corridor.  A scent captured his attention and called him deeper into the darkness towards that light.

He was getting weaker as he walked and fell to his knees, crawling towards the light.  On all fours, he cried out, "Take me please.  Not her.  Take me!"

The scent was drawing him in and dragging him down.  His old self was clawing to get out, desiring the depravity that came with giving in and letting go of his self control.  He felt the need to escape his skin.  He wanted to scratch his eyes out.  He let out a blood curdling scream as the agony of desire raged through his tormented body.  

His breathing became shallow and his skin pasty as he closed the distance.  With waning strength he collapsed at the base of the door, managing to push it forward and his eyes feasted on the images he saw.

The old world was calling him.

Fake promises, deception.  

Let go, Finn! 

Give in!