6

“We’re in this one,” he said. “Kodan and your handmaidens will be behind us, and more of my staff will be in the front. Shall we?”

I nodded and pulled my cloak tighter around my shoulders. “No reason to linger, I don’t suppose.”

I stepped into the carriage. It was luxurious and comfortable inside, with plush bench seating and space to spread out. All five of us could’ve easily ridden in here together. I settled onto the bench and pulled off my cloak, spreading it over my lap instead against the slight chill. Elias sat across from me, leaning comfortably back against the bench and glancing over his shoulder to peer at the driver.

After a moment, the horses lurched into motion, and the vehicle began to rumble over the streets of Efra, heading toward the western gate. I peered out the window as we rode, taking in the now-familiar sights of the city: the taverns already bustling with activity, the street vendors selling their wares, the blacksmith spitting smoke into the crisp air, all while citizens moved around in both human and wolf form. Seeing wolves lope around the streets had initially made me uncomfortable, but now it was such a regular part of my day, I found it odder not seeing any at all.

I still kept a tight leash on my wolf, though—I needed to keep my faculties about me if I was to be a capable queen. I was still learning to lead like a wolf of Nightfall, to move between my animal instincts and my human logic fluidly. I wanted to do that, but sometimes it felt out of reach, like I’d never fully understand what it meant to live with the animal in me.

“I expect the journey to only take two days,” Elias said. “They’ll just be long ones.”

“Right.” I’d already been extensively briefed on the details of our travel by my handmaidens, but I could tell Elias wanted to fill the silence.

“We should cross into Shianga tomorrow. The climate won’t change until we make it through the mountain pass along the border. I trust you had your dresses made?”

“Of course,” I said. “Though my research says it won’t be too warm—not like the humidity of Daybreak, at least.”

“Ah, yes,” Elias said. “I almost forgot.”

I glanced at him, brow furrowing. “What do you mean?”

“Just that you fit so well in Nightfall,” he said. “It’s easy to forget you weren’t one of us your entire life.”

Internally, my wolf flicked her ears, unsure how to take that particular comment. It felt like a compliment—but at the same time, just another way I was losing myself to the roles I had to play. I pressed my lips together and turned my gaze back to the window.

The ornate city gates closed behind us. The road led through the fields on the western side of the city, where wolves tended their farms, and then into the tree line of the familiar forest. The sturdy trunks and canopy created a tunnel-like effect as we traveled, which didn’t make for very interesting scenery outside the window. I settled back onto the bench seating and curled up on the seat, legs folded under the warmth of my cloak. I rifled through my rucksack and fished out one of the novels I’d packed for the journey.

Before I could open it, Elias cleared his throat.

I stuffed down my irritation and tried to remember what Fina had said. Everything would be easier if we could be civil to each other. He was my husband, after all. So I kept my book closed and met his dark eyes.

“How has your time in the manor been?” he asked. “Since we haven’t seen too much of each other since the wedding.”

There was no accusation in his voice, just resignation. And that was a mild way of describing my anger and avoidance of him. He could’ve mirrored my own rage right back at me, but instead he’d asked me to dinner, invited me to join him on this trip, and was now extending another olive branch. It didn’t make up for what he’d done—but a bit of idle chatter was nicer than a slow-simmering rage.

“Just fine,” I said. “I’ve been enjoying the library.”

Elias frowned minutely—I wouldn’t have noticed it at all if I hadn’t spent so much time during the Choice cataloguing small changes of expression to try to get a handle on his moods. I knew he wanted more from me, more openness, but if I was honest with him now about how I felt, it would only start another fight. I didn’t want to tell him how lonely I was, even with my two closest friends with me at the manor. I didn’t want to explain how I still felt trapped in my role as queen, even with all the freedom he had given me so far, leaving me to my own devices.

He knew how much he had hurt me. We didn’t need to rehash that again.

I wanted to forgive him. I was trying to forgive him.

“I’ve noticed that,” he said, nodding toward the book in my hands.

I nodded back and offered him a small smile. The silence spread out awkwardly between us, broken by the rattle of the carriage on the rough road and the occasional bird call from above.

Elias sighed. “Right. Well. Enjoy the book.” He turned to his own rucksack, then pulled out a stack of documents and turned his attention to those instead.

I almost asked what they were—information having to do with the purpose for this trip? But I was grateful for the quiet in the carriage. We’d have plenty of time to discuss details.

The hours rolled by as I lost myself in the novel, stopping only when the carriage paused so we could stretch our legs and share a quick meal at a clearing in the woods. At the afternoon break, Kodan and Elias were sharing a brief conversation, heads together over the documents the king had been reviewing in the carriage. Fina, Adora, and I were stretched out on a blanket on the grass, sharing a simple meal of bread and cheese.

“Kodan is so interesting,” Fina said, her voice slightly awed. “She’s been all over! She has stories from what seems like every corner of the globe.”