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2020-07-04 16:30:13Cole's P.O.V.
My alarm clock sounds.
"Ugh." I feel so weak, and I still have to go to school. All I could think about was Xavier. He is taking up my mind. Xavier this, Xavier that. I hated it. It made me worry so much, and if I worried too much then I just couldn't move on with the day. I have to suppress it somehow.
I look over at the clock and see it's 7:30am. I better get up if I don't want to be late for school. I sit up on my bed and push myself off. I'm one of those people who once they manage to get out of bed, I stay out of bed, not wanting to go back in until the end of the day.
I run a hand through my hair, it is all knotted. I groggily walk to the bathroom and close the door behind me. My hair is disheveled and messy, strands are sticking up and some are matted down to my scalp.
"Ew." I think to myself.
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Xavier's P.O.V."Xavier.""Hey Xavier.""Cole?" I ask, eyes still glued shut."Cole? No it's me Xavier."I open my eyes."Oh Hal, I should've known." I reply.Hal laughs."Alright, come on we gotta go to school." He informs me.I to turn to face Hal who is preparing clothes for me.I sit up."Alright, here are your clothes for the day. I'll meet you downstairs for breakfast." Hal then walks out of the room.I check out the clothes he put aside for me."Not too bad." I say to myself.After I get dressed and 'pamper' up. I walk down the hall. Out of my peripheral vision I see something that catches my
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Cole's P.O.V.Ashley drives into the school.My eyes widen as I see my abandoned car and a huge group of people standing around, looking like they were taking photos.Ashley immediately pats me on the back."It's alright Cole. They are probably doing something else." She says, trying to reassure me."No, no I know what they are doing." I say back, my eyes turn into slits.I open the car door.I hear Ashley call out my name but I ignore her, I need to know what they are doing. I reach the edge of the clump of people.I push them out of my way, some seeing my face and immediately backing away. I reach the middle of the group. All eyes are on me. I hear people whisper and see people giving me judgemental looks. They are all surrounding my dried up b
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Xavier's P.O.V.Hal and I enter the school."Oh what's going on over there?" Hal questions.I look towards the great clump of people. For some reason, my stomach immediately knots. This isn't good. It can't be."Oh I'm not sure, I don't think I want to know either." I reply, large groups of people always means trouble, especially when they are all mummuring and have sneaky looks on the face."Okay, I think the same." He replies.We both get out of the car. I check the time and see school has already started."Wow, it must be something important Hal, school's already started and they are all out here." I add, my curiosity piquing but my stomach twisting even further. I can't help but worry, about him."Mm, yeah you are right. Hea
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Xavier's P.O.V.The person's eyes widen when they catch Hal’s figure."Hal?"Hal's eyes water, hers do too.The person at the door looks at me, and her eyes narrow.She looks back at Hal."I knew you didn't love me, but I didn’t know I was that bad that I changed you." Her fists clench and her face scrunches up. Her eyes burn red and are glossy with tears. She huffs then runs off in an angry flurry.My eyebrows furrow and I look at Hal confused. Us together? No I wanted to shout at her, but she was already gone and jumped to conclusions way too fast.Was that Semira?Hal buries his head into his arms, as he collapses on the bathroom floor. I realised how distraught Hal had become and
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Xavier's P.O.V."Oh sorry." She speaks.I think it's Semira, she looks like the person who fell into the bathroom."Semira?" I ask.She stares at me for a moment, fighting her own thoughts. Finally she gives in and nods, a small sniffle follows.I needed to take this moment. I needed to redeem myself."Hal and I aren't together." I blurt out. "He was just helping me. I promise." I say with intensity.She saunters to a nearby set of lockers and sits down, her back against them and her elbows resting on her tired knees."Hal's right. I do doubt myself too much. Look at where it's gotten me." She softly says, head hanging. In this moment I noticed she had similar hair to Hal, brown and curly."Wait, you heard everythin
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Xavier's P.O.V.I stop all of a sudden. My legs are heavy and my heart is throbbing. My throat feels dry. I take out my phone and check the time. Second period is almost finished which means the next session will start and a wave of students will fill the halls. It's going to be hard finding Cole in the sea of people that is about to erupt.'Remember the spot?' The voice chimed.What spot?'The second day you came to this school.'Oh, I remember. Didn't Cole say that that was his spot as well?'He did indeed.' I could imagine a cheeky grin from the voice as it spoke this.I walk outside the building. It's kind of chilly outside.I look up and see the grey clouds.Rain.I try to remember where the spot was.
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Xavier's P.O.V."Don't be sorry Cole." I say softly, laying the side of my head against his chest.I gently hold his arm and inspect his cuts and bruises with a concerning eye."Ow." He winces as I accidentally press too hard on a bruise."I'm sorry." I quickly step back."It's okay." He replies.We don't say anything."Did you do these to yourself?" I ask, dreading the answer I presume he will utter. It seems like a lifetime before he does anything. Imagining Cole harming himself would hurt me ten times more.Cole's expression changes."No Xavier, I would never do this to myself, knowing how much I would hurt you if I did." He replies.I exhale a sigh of relief but worry still consume
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Xavier's P.O.V.We both decide to ditch the rest of the school day. I thank Hal for his help. We say we will stay in touch. Semira also chimes in and is grateful for my help. I actually helped somone.Cole and I lock arms and head to his sister's car."Where's your car?" I ask."Oh, it's over there." He points to a broken down car."Oh yeah." I respond.I let go of his arm and enter the car.I feel like crying. I can't believe all that shit we both went through was over. Only good times to come, I hope."You know what you need?" Cole smirks at me.I chuckle."What?"He sticks the key in the ignition and looks back towards me, his eyes narrow.I don't kno
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Please Stay Epilogue
The professional tone of the young adult's psychiartrist echoes. Her hooded eyes scan the room. The bedroom. What was supposed to be a sanctuary was just a reminder. A reminder that she was still alive and would wake up in the same place every, single, day.Change was needed. But change was too scary, too hard, too risky. The young adult saunters cautiously around the room. Cautiously being the keyword. You are too careful. You are just existing.But things were worse and could, at any moment without her knowing become worse again. So maybe being careful was her only choice.Her eyes caught on an object, an old friend. Her doctor's voice repeating, 'bring something to me next session, something that helped you get better'. She was far from better, but was a little further from worse.Her fingers tightened around the object, and her scars tingled. The ghostly pain she inflicted on herself months ago taunted her but she
Please Stay 66.
Cole P.O.V. I walked home from the hospital that night. Hal offered me a ride, but he has already done too much. An uncomfortable moisture hung about in the air. The streets were empty but they felt crowded. Like he was there, he was everywhere. The grass reminded me of him. The grey clouds screamed his name. Yet he wasn't here. I finally reach the front door of my house. My mum opens the door. I stare at her jolly face, for a moment I feel like yelling at her. Ignorant. How could she be happy right now? But I bite my tongue, she doesn't know Cole. I give her a brief grin, lips tight in a line before heading up to my room. The house feels empty. Yet the couch, I swear I could smell him and see the dint in the cushion his body left. I stop halfway up the stairs and turn to see the kitchen. Clean. Whatever happened to yesterday? Did yesterday even happen? I lower my eyes and head off to my room and close the door behind me. "Xavier?" I call out. Yes?"I'm sorry." I respond. I hea
Please Stay 65.
Xavier's P.O.V.All the memories from last night are rushing through my mind. The intense hurt, love and peace that coursed through me was unmatchable. I could feel myself laying on a comfy bed. Cole's. He took me back inside. Hopefully we can patch things up. The sun seemed to be shining straight down on me, through the curtains, it was so bright. The birds, they were chirping.But I as I listened closer, something about the bird's chirps were weird, they were so... perfectly spread out from each other. So automated. I listen closely. It doesn't sound like birds anymore, more like a monitor or a system, a familiar sound. A haunting sound.I open my eyes. The sun is right above my eyes, blinding me so. I open my eyes again, squinting to make out the light source above me.Wait... that isn't a sun... it's a light, attached to a ceiling. I look t
Please Stay 64.
Xavier's P.O.V.We freeze. I just hang where I am. Time stops and his warm touch turns cold and feels invasive. Blinking, I step away, my nose burns as well as my eyes. My eyes trained on a distant spot in front of me.My arms were stretched out in front of me, I felt like a stone statue, or rather, the statues in Pompeii. Burnt and frozen.Cole's posture thaws and I see his slight movement. I lift my wide eyes towards his hooded ones. His mouth contorted in regret and guilt. For the first time, I see the ugliness of him. Even through my blurry and shaky vision, his features seem sharp and painted with a cruel brush. Like my whole body realised, my skin feels hot but cold. Shrouded in this greyness of betrayal and hurt, like no other."I'm sorry." He mouths. His voice is too distant for me to hear. Muffled. Like I was under water. Everything was slow, stilll and quiet. But the excruciating pain was deafening and all I co
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Cole's P.O.V.I wake up feeling excited, butterflies swirl in my stomach. I creep out of bed carefuly, trying not to pulll the blankets off Xavier's sleeping body.I walk into the bathroom and freshen up, it's been two weeks coming. Today, is going to be Xavier's day. His condition is deteriorating. Each day that he wakes up, his jaw becomes more defined and his face hollow. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and stare at this deathly person before me. His skin is getting as white as the moon that shines in our bedroom at night and illuminates his ghostly face.On the outside, he wasn't the Xavier I knew and it hurt me that I could find him resistable. It really hurt.Sometimes I my eyes will open and my heart would leap into my mouth.Is he dead? I keep on asking myself at night when I wak
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Cole's P.O.V.I tear my mind away from these dangerous thoughts and took in my surrondings."A music store..." I exhale in wonderment. Xavier and music huh? Why did I never know this? It hurt a little and only made those dangerous thoughts stronger. "Come." Hal smiled and walked into the store.Instruments were hung and some were laid on the floor. I saw a drum set and was instantly taken back to my childhood. I stopped and just admired them. Hal noticed and stood next to me, he had a lopsided smile playing on his face."Are you a drummer?" He asks, hands in his pockets. I raise my eyebrows. "I thought I was going to be." I admit. I look back up at Hal, my heart pounds a little faster. He turns his head to the drums. "Not too late." With that he continues strolling down the aisle leaving me feeling a whirlpool of emotions I've never felt before. It scared me.I didn't know if I was just phsyically attracted
Please Stay 61.
Cole's P.O.V.I watch Xavier enter the building. His little body in this huge, grey towering building. My heart breaks and beats for him.All of a sudden, my mind screams at me, no, it begs me. I need to show him how much he means, before it's too late. Wait, it won't ever be too late, he'll be cured and we can live out our lives together. Get out of this God forsaken town and go somewhere fascinating. Italy, France, anywhere. We can grow our own fruits and vegetables, pick strawberries by day and seductively eat them at night by the romantic moonlight.Yes, that is what will happen. I know it. I need to show him now though. I pull my mind out of this fantasy and remember it's the last day of school.I shake my head.One day is all I need, to create a memory that will last a lifetime.I decide to ditch school. My stoma
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Xavier's P.O.V.I get out of the shower, dry myself and head back into the bedroom to see Cole sitting on the bed in a black tank-top and black skinny jeans. His toned arms and legs on show. I blush at the sight."You can go have a shower now." I tell him, avoiding his gaze whilst folding the dirty towel and placing it in the corner so I could put in the wash later."Nah it's all good. I'll have one when we get back." He says chucking his phone to the side of him and falling back onto the bed, his arms behind his head."So are you having a treatment today?" He casually asks. His tone kind of irritates me, but I wasn't sure whether I was annoyed at him or at my illness. I decide to throw the idea away."Uh, yeah I guess." I reply, laying across Cole's body in the opposite direction, so the back of me was rest
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Xavier's P.O.V."Boys!""Boys!""Cole?"I open my eyes, they feel so heavy. I blink a couple of times to get used to the light."Xavier? Cole?" Cole's mother's voice echoes from the stairs as I hear her heading towards Cole's room. I look around, my mind is as sharp as it should be when I just wake up. I see Cole next to me, sleeping peacefully. His body in a sort of star fish position. He has no shirt on. I look at myself, I also don't have a shirt. I lift up the blankets and see we both have no pants on either."Shit." I mutter through a stifled laugh."Guys, I'm coming in," I hear Cole's mum call from outside. Panic sets in, she can't see us like this. I quickly push Cole off the bed, making it look like we hadn't sleep together. I then pull the blankets up to c
