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2020-06-07 18:25:51Xavier's P.O.V.
I can't believe I actually fell for it. All that shamefull and useless swooning.
But I hear the door open.
"Xavier!" I hear Cole yell, he seemed relieved, and so am I. I suddenly feel comfortable again, like I am in my own bubble, my own bubble with just him and me in it, it is solid again.
"Yeah?" I reply as I hear him climb the stairs.
He finally reaches my bedroom door.
"Anything wrong?" I ask, trying to make him explain why he took so long. Was I going to tell him how angry and hurt he made me? Defintely not. I don't want him to think I am that clingy, although I may be just that. I don't want to scare him away just yet.
"Your father, I thought there was a car coming. That's why I took so long, sorry." He explains, laughing.<
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Cole's P.O.V.I close the closet door behind me. The little slits in the door help me see through to Xavier. He is so nervous, his eyes look red and watery. He looks so small on his bed. So small and helpless. So skinny and bruised and hurt and limp.His frail chest quickly falls up and down with each breath he takes. I just want to hug and comfort him. I want to cradle him. I catch my thoughts before they take me to a place I'm not ready to go to yet. Yet. I repeat to myself. Yet.The door downstairs opens and I hear heavy footsteps climb up to Xavier's room. Xavier looks towards his door nervously, he looks back at the closet which I am in. Big eyes pleading me for safety. Safety I wish I could give him, but I am not sure I can.Stay strong Xavier, stay strong. Xavier lies his delicate body on the bed."Xavier."
Last Updated : 2020-06-08Please Stay 23.
Xavier's dad leaves the room, only two unconscious boys lay there.Both confused.Both worried.Both wanting to protect one another.Xavier slowly peels open his eyes. There is a dull ache everytime he moves them. The bright light of the sun shines directly in his room. He stares at the stream of light and watches the tiny dust particles prance about in the air. They dance with no concern or regard for what horrors have taken place in this room. Ignorant.He still feels dizzy, not remembering what just happened.He places his cold hand on his head. He groans from the pain. Looking at his body, he sees all the things he wished he would never see again.All the cuts and bruises, they still remain."Oh." He sighs, a slice of the memories co
Last Updated : 2020-06-09Please Stay 24.
Xavier gasps and he smiles so widely."Cole? Cole please stay, don't leave, not yet." He said as his eyes darted between Cole's eyes.Cole's lips turned into a slight smile before his eyes slowly opened. His eyes were bloodshot."Cole." Xavier breathlessly said."Xavier." Cole chuckled slightly, before his face twisted with pain. He brought his hands to his head to ease the thobbing inside his skull."Cole?" Xavier speaks.Cole simply smiles."Cole!" Xavier hugs him, squeezing tightly."I thought, you were gone, I thought you were gone." Xavier repeats, still in shock.Cole sits up, feeling a little light-headed.They sit across from each other, chocolate gazinginto one
Last Updated : 2020-06-10Please Stay 25.
Xavier's father leers into Cole's terrifed eyes."Youfuckingpiece of shit! You turned Xavier didn't you? All this is because of you! People like you should be killed!" He spits."Get off me!" Cole yells, using all his strength to push the man away from him.Cole runs towards the window, but he had one more thing to say."You have a serious problem" He hatefully says as he hops out the window.At the sight of Cole, Xavier's eyes light up. He runs towards him."Cole! Are you okay?" He frantically and wide eyed looking at his face to see if there were any injuries."I'm fine. We need to get out of here though. Now." Cole places his hands on either side of Xavier's body, before slipping his right hand into Xavier's left."Fuck!" Cole face-palms.
Last Updated : 2020-06-12Please Stay 26.
Cole's P.O.V."He's dead." I say.I look as the paramedics take his body out of the ambulance and into the hospital.I follow straight behind, not affording to miss any moment of Xavier. They rush through corridors and rooms to get to the equipment Xavier vitally needs, I look around, all I see are faces, they all have that same look, worry. They are all here because someone they care or love is potentially going to die. They are all feeling the same feelings I am. Why is love, the most magical experience ever need to be paired with the most disastrous consequences?Yes, love is the most beautiful thing.But fuck, it can come with the most horrible feelings as well.Pain.Worry.Sadness.Right now, I am hurting so much.
Last Updated : 2020-06-13Please Stay 27.
Cole's P.O.V."He has lung cancer, I'm sorry."I laugh in disbelief."Yeah, sure, but seriously, is he okay?"He can't have lung cancer."I am truly sorry, but he has cancer." She repeats, speaking sympathetically.I blank out.My heart stops beating.My breathing stops.Everything around me is a blur.He has lung cancer.I squeeze my eyes shut.I just want to open them back up again and realise that everything was just a dream.It will be a dream.I will open my eyes, and everything will be fine.I open my eyes.The nurse is still there, the s
Last Updated : 2020-06-15Please Stay 28.
Cole's P.O.V."What about it?" He asks.I am taken back. I remember it like it was yesterday. Like I was watching it in front of me.I walked out of my house, my mother waved goodbye. I popped in my earphones and press shuffle, I like the universe to decide.I continued walking but see someone running up to me in the distance. I squint and make out the person, or should I say people, and the closer they came, the more people there were.I start to make out faces.I immediately calm down when I see it's just Shawn and my friends."Hey guys!" I yell, taking out my earphones."Wassup?" Shawn asks, as we all finally meet up.I look in his eyes and see something is off.I decide not to question a
Last Updated : 2020-06-15Please Stay 29.
Cole's P.O.V.I look up to see tears streaming down Xavier's face."Xavier no, don't cry." I say as wipe away his tears with my thumb."But, that's horrible, I'm sorry that happened.""It's not your fault, you don't need to be sorry." I say."Well, that's not all." I add.He looks up."After that I felt shit. But I didn't show it. I felt too much pain. I told them I should wash up before going back to school. So I went home."I opened the door. My parents and sisters were gone. I dropped my bag on the floor. I stared at my hands. My dirty and blood-stained hands. These didn't look like my hands. I wasn't me anymore. I rushed up stairs and witnessed my horrible reflection in the mirror. The actions and my reflection don't add up.
Last Updated : 2020-06-15
Latest chapter
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The professional tone of the young adult's psychiartrist echoes. Her hooded eyes scan the room. The bedroom. What was supposed to be a sanctuary was just a reminder. A reminder that she was still alive and would wake up in the same place every, single, day.Change was needed. But change was too scary, too hard, too risky. The young adult saunters cautiously around the room. Cautiously being the keyword. You are too careful. You are just existing.But things were worse and could, at any moment without her knowing become worse again. So maybe being careful was her only choice.Her eyes caught on an object, an old friend. Her doctor's voice repeating, 'bring something to me next session, something that helped you get better'. She was far from better, but was a little further from worse.Her fingers tightened around the object, and her scars tingled. The ghostly pain she inflicted on herself months ago taunted her but she
Please Stay 66.
Cole P.O.V. I walked home from the hospital that night. Hal offered me a ride, but he has already done too much. An uncomfortable moisture hung about in the air. The streets were empty but they felt crowded. Like he was there, he was everywhere. The grass reminded me of him. The grey clouds screamed his name. Yet he wasn't here. I finally reach the front door of my house. My mum opens the door. I stare at her jolly face, for a moment I feel like yelling at her. Ignorant. How could she be happy right now? But I bite my tongue, she doesn't know Cole. I give her a brief grin, lips tight in a line before heading up to my room. The house feels empty. Yet the couch, I swear I could smell him and see the dint in the cushion his body left. I stop halfway up the stairs and turn to see the kitchen. Clean. Whatever happened to yesterday? Did yesterday even happen? I lower my eyes and head off to my room and close the door behind me. "Xavier?" I call out. Yes?"I'm sorry." I respond. I hea
Please Stay 65.
Xavier's P.O.V.All the memories from last night are rushing through my mind. The intense hurt, love and peace that coursed through me was unmatchable. I could feel myself laying on a comfy bed. Cole's. He took me back inside. Hopefully we can patch things up. The sun seemed to be shining straight down on me, through the curtains, it was so bright. The birds, they were chirping.But I as I listened closer, something about the bird's chirps were weird, they were so... perfectly spread out from each other. So automated. I listen closely. It doesn't sound like birds anymore, more like a monitor or a system, a familiar sound. A haunting sound.I open my eyes. The sun is right above my eyes, blinding me so. I open my eyes again, squinting to make out the light source above me.Wait... that isn't a sun... it's a light, attached to a ceiling. I look t
Please Stay 64.
Xavier's P.O.V.We freeze. I just hang where I am. Time stops and his warm touch turns cold and feels invasive. Blinking, I step away, my nose burns as well as my eyes. My eyes trained on a distant spot in front of me.My arms were stretched out in front of me, I felt like a stone statue, or rather, the statues in Pompeii. Burnt and frozen.Cole's posture thaws and I see his slight movement. I lift my wide eyes towards his hooded ones. His mouth contorted in regret and guilt. For the first time, I see the ugliness of him. Even through my blurry and shaky vision, his features seem sharp and painted with a cruel brush. Like my whole body realised, my skin feels hot but cold. Shrouded in this greyness of betrayal and hurt, like no other."I'm sorry." He mouths. His voice is too distant for me to hear. Muffled. Like I was under water. Everything was slow, stilll and quiet. But the excruciating pain was deafening and all I co
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Cole's P.O.V.I wake up feeling excited, butterflies swirl in my stomach. I creep out of bed carefuly, trying not to pulll the blankets off Xavier's sleeping body.I walk into the bathroom and freshen up, it's been two weeks coming. Today, is going to be Xavier's day. His condition is deteriorating. Each day that he wakes up, his jaw becomes more defined and his face hollow. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and stare at this deathly person before me. His skin is getting as white as the moon that shines in our bedroom at night and illuminates his ghostly face.On the outside, he wasn't the Xavier I knew and it hurt me that I could find him resistable. It really hurt.Sometimes I my eyes will open and my heart would leap into my mouth.Is he dead? I keep on asking myself at night when I wak
Please Stay 62.
Cole's P.O.V.I tear my mind away from these dangerous thoughts and took in my surrondings."A music store..." I exhale in wonderment. Xavier and music huh? Why did I never know this? It hurt a little and only made those dangerous thoughts stronger. "Come." Hal smiled and walked into the store.Instruments were hung and some were laid on the floor. I saw a drum set and was instantly taken back to my childhood. I stopped and just admired them. Hal noticed and stood next to me, he had a lopsided smile playing on his face."Are you a drummer?" He asks, hands in his pockets. I raise my eyebrows. "I thought I was going to be." I admit. I look back up at Hal, my heart pounds a little faster. He turns his head to the drums. "Not too late." With that he continues strolling down the aisle leaving me feeling a whirlpool of emotions I've never felt before. It scared me.I didn't know if I was just phsyically attracted
Please Stay 61.
Cole's P.O.V.I watch Xavier enter the building. His little body in this huge, grey towering building. My heart breaks and beats for him.All of a sudden, my mind screams at me, no, it begs me. I need to show him how much he means, before it's too late. Wait, it won't ever be too late, he'll be cured and we can live out our lives together. Get out of this God forsaken town and go somewhere fascinating. Italy, France, anywhere. We can grow our own fruits and vegetables, pick strawberries by day and seductively eat them at night by the romantic moonlight.Yes, that is what will happen. I know it. I need to show him now though. I pull my mind out of this fantasy and remember it's the last day of school.I shake my head.One day is all I need, to create a memory that will last a lifetime.I decide to ditch school. My stoma
Please Stay 60.
Xavier's P.O.V.I get out of the shower, dry myself and head back into the bedroom to see Cole sitting on the bed in a black tank-top and black skinny jeans. His toned arms and legs on show. I blush at the sight."You can go have a shower now." I tell him, avoiding his gaze whilst folding the dirty towel and placing it in the corner so I could put in the wash later."Nah it's all good. I'll have one when we get back." He says chucking his phone to the side of him and falling back onto the bed, his arms behind his head."So are you having a treatment today?" He casually asks. His tone kind of irritates me, but I wasn't sure whether I was annoyed at him or at my illness. I decide to throw the idea away."Uh, yeah I guess." I reply, laying across Cole's body in the opposite direction, so the back of me was rest
Please Stay 59.
Xavier's P.O.V."Boys!""Boys!""Cole?"I open my eyes, they feel so heavy. I blink a couple of times to get used to the light."Xavier? Cole?" Cole's mother's voice echoes from the stairs as I hear her heading towards Cole's room. I look around, my mind is as sharp as it should be when I just wake up. I see Cole next to me, sleeping peacefully. His body in a sort of star fish position. He has no shirt on. I look at myself, I also don't have a shirt. I lift up the blankets and see we both have no pants on either."Shit." I mutter through a stifled laugh."Guys, I'm coming in," I hear Cole's mum call from outside. Panic sets in, she can't see us like this. I quickly push Cole off the bed, making it look like we hadn't sleep together. I then pull the blankets up to c
