Chapter 6

"Dude, you totally blew us off yesterday!" Jacob shakes his head at Gold who just entered the classroom.

The golden boy shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly, passing a black box wrapped with golden ribbon to Carter.

"Something came up," his excuse is vague.

"Is it more important than my birthday?" There's a hint of annoyance in Carter's voice, yet an excited smile is apparent on his lips. He's thrilled to open Gold's gift for him.

Carter celebrated his birthday yesterday. He invited some of his friends to his party. Unfortunately, Gold is too caught up with his issue with Kolya. Too caught up that he even ditched his friend's party just to visit his enemy's house.

"I went to Nikolai Park's house." He says casually, as if this isn't a big deal. Like the jaws of his two friends didn't just drop.

"Park got to be with you on my birthday and all I get is this?" He scowls upon seeing Gold's gift: an ipad mini.

"Hey! That's the latest model! Besides, I used my own savings!" He even bought it at the mall alone. It is a big deal since he usually just asks Charles to buy the things he needs.

"Wait, pause!" Jacob interjects, furrowing his brow. "Forget everything else. Just tell us why you're with Park yesterday."

This is big news! Gold is aloof. He never really liked hanging out with people. His two male friends and Cleo actually have to drag him out of bed if they want to hang out with him.

"Because he stole my position. I was there to get it back." He utters, full of confidence.

Jacob smirks.

"Really? How'd it go?"

"I won." He did. Actually, this is the reason why he went to school early. Gold needs to talk to Mr. Song to confirm the changes. The dance instructor did. Gold is officially the center of the performance again. "I was gonna challenge him to a one on one battle, but he's a sucker." Gold adds, straight up lying.

Jacob and Carter high five him, like they're so proud of Gold. The latter's smile grows big.

"I know he's pathetic. Did he even accept the challenge or did he just give up immediately?"

Gold laughs mockingly. It's so easy to lie to these people. It's easier to say that he hates Kolya's guts instead of telling them that his heart skips a beat whenever Nikolai does something good for him.

"You should have seen his apartment." Gold cringes. "My room is bigger. Their food tastes like crap too."

What he's saying is half a lie and half-truth. Sure, his room is bigger, but Kolya's apartment is way comfortable than their abode. Perhaps it's because the Parks love one another. They're probably happy with their simple life as well. Noah should be. He's great at cooking; everyone will most definitely be in a good mood once they get to taste his food.

Gold continues to talk shit about Kolya and his family. His friends can't know that he wants to be friends with a loser—or that Kolya is obviously a much better person than him. He can't steal his spotlight once again.

Thankfully, his fake stories work because the moment Kolya enters the room; Jacob and Carter frown at once. Gold felt like his friends can't stand Kolya's presence so he just invited them to go grab something to eat. Moreover, he can't bear to look into Nikolai's tantalizing eyes. It's a fucking trap. It makes his heart skip a beat as well.

Great. Now Gold has to avoid not just Kolya's smile, but also his eyes.

But as it turns out, Gold is in way too deep. It's as though Kolya's face is engraved in his mind. It makes him crazy.

"Can you fucking stop eating that!?" Gold hisses at Cleo.

"What is your problem?" His best friend scowls, munching her strawberries and cream sandwich.

See? Even the little thing reminds Gold of Kolya. It's lunch time now. The golden boy is with his girl best friend. They are only able to see each other every Thursday at lunch time and their class with Ms. Manoban. Both of them are busy with school.

"Your food!" Gold exclaims. The sandwich reminds him of Kolya’s sad face and it also makes him regret his decision. He should have just accepted the sandwich. He should have been a little kinder to him.

"Damn it!" He snatches Cleo's sandwich and then he throws it on the ground.

"Hey!" The best friend complains. She isn't in the mood to fight, though. Cleo just steals Gold's food.

The latter lets her be. He's not in the mood to eat, anyway. How can he eat when the guilt he feels is chewing him into pieces?

Gold is so guilty that as soon as their last class for the day ended, he runs toward Kolya who is busy fixing his things. The golden boy didn't even care that his friends and other classmates are looking at them.

It's odd that they’re interacting. Almost everyone is aware that Gold dislikes the transferee.

"I need to talk to you," the golden boy says, his eyes are searching something in Kolya's face: approval, happiness, or anything else, just not anger.

"Oh I—"

Gold senses that Nikolai is hesitating so he cuts him off by grabbing his wrist and pulling him out of the classroom. Their classmates look at one another, clearly confused about the drama.

No one dares to follows the two of them, though. They learned not to interfere with anything related to the golden boy.

"Uh, Gold?" Kolya frowns. Gold stops pulling the former. They're now inside an empty dance studio.

"Are we allowed to be here?" The half-blooded Korean boy winces. Mr. Hampton toured him around the campus on his first day in class. The teacher told him that students are prohibited to enter the studios unless they have their teacher's permission.

"I'm sorry..." Gold blows his fringe, causing Kolya to crinkle his eyes.

"I'm sorry I was rude to you this morning. I should have taken the sandwich." The golden boy adds upon realizing that a simple I'm sorry is confusing.

"Ah," Kolya chuckles as he clasps his hands together. "It's okay. At least I got to eat two sandwiches!"

"Liar." Gold glares at his classmate and then he rudely grabs Kolya's bag. The poor guy isn't able to do anything so he just watches as the golden boy aggressively opens his bag.

Gold takes out the uneaten sandwiches inside the backpack. After that, he raises the food in the air to prove a point: that Kolya is lying.

It's true. Nikolai lied straight to Gold's face. The thing is, he's sad. He thought that Gold enjoyed his stay at their apartment last night. He even made himself believe that maybe, the two of them could be friends. This is also the reason why he lied to his family saying that he's been mugged. It is the only acceptable explanation as to why his face got beaten up. Kolya didn't want his loved ones to think that Gold is responsible or has something to do with the assault.

"Sorry." In the end, Kolya apologizes for lying too. 

The golden boy only rolls his eyes as he sits on the floor. Without saying anything, he unwraps the cover of the sandwich.

"Aren't you gonna eat yours!?" He glares at Kolya who's still frozen on his feet, but as the Korean boy hears Gold's words, he instantly sits beside him.

Gold vigorously takes a bite on his sandwich while handing the other uneaten food to Kolya.

"Thanks." The lead dancer smiles sheepishly. They don't have a class with Mr. Song today, but Kolya confirmed to their instructor the changes—that he and Gold switched positions.

"Hey, how'd you know that I haven't eaten the sandwiches yet?" Nikolai supplies because 1) he's genuinely curious. 2) To get rid of the awkward silence.

"None of your business." Gold says coldly. He doesn't want to appear rude, but this is better than admitting that he's been watching Kolya all day. It's obvious that he hasn't eaten yet because his face is so pale, like he's about to faint because of hunger. This actually infuriates Gold more. He also blames himself for being so selfish.

Kolya probably skipped lunch because he was embarrassed when Gold's friends called his food trash.

"Okay," Nikolai answers simply, though with a pout.

Gold rolls his eyes.

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what?" Kolya takes a bite on his delicious food. Noah is really good at making this.

"Like it doesn't bother you."

"What's bothering me?"

Gold's jaw tenses. He isn't sure if Nikolai really doesn't know what he's talking about or if he's just playing dumb.

"Me." Gold' voice is acrid. "My attitude. I am always rude to you." He almost shouts, but Kolya only blinks.

"You're not rude," the lead dancer says softly, placing the sandwich down on his lap.

Gold huffs.

"I talked shit about your life. I told my friends that you're fucking poor! That you're staying with an old woman! That you don't even own that tiny house! That your brother's food tastes awful—damn it!" Gold's face turns red when he notices that Kolya is smiling. "You're doing it again!"

"Doing what?" Kolya laughs. He doesn't understand why Gold is so mad. "You didn't talk shit about me, Gold. What you told them was the truth..."

"But Noah's food is good!" When Gold whines, Kolya lost it. He burst into laughter.

"That's the thing you keep on doing!" The golden boy continues to whine as he points at Kolya's face. "You just keep on fucking smiling even if I'm ruining your life!"

Kolya laughs even harder.

"Stop it!" Gold demands.

"Sorry," the lead dancer inhales to stop himself from giggling. He clutches his stomach. "I can't help it. You're cute."

Oh.

Gold bites his lower lip. He isn't expecting that response.

"W-Well, you're annoying!" The golden boy looks away.

It's Kolya's turn to bite his lip. He studies Gold's face for a moment. The guy is flustered and it's probably because of the abrupt compliment.

"If you think that my brother's food is good, then why'd you lie?"

"Because..." Gold trails off. His reason is downright immature. He can't say it for the reason that Kolya might hate him.

It's stupid. He's stupid. He's doing everything he can to hate Kolya, but he doesn't want the lead dancer to hate him. What a load of crap.

"You're doing it again..."

Gold just stares at Kolya. He just copied the golden boy's line.

"Like you hate something when you don't." The lead dancer elaborates. His observation is correct. Gold isn't the only one being creepy here. Kolya spent his day watching and listening to Gold's conversation too.

He watches as Gold pretends to hate this certain movie character, but you can find a sticker picture of that same character on his notebook. He says Taylor Swift is overrated, yet he hums Love Story like it's his favorite song. He told his friends Noah's food is awful, but he almost finished the entire bowl of stew last night. The list can go on and on because Gold does this a lot. Who can blame him when hating or at least pretending to hate the things he loves is taught to him by his mother? Jasmine said that it's a defense. People can't use the things you love against you if they don't know that you love it in the first place.

"I just think that..." Gold tries to reason out again, but like the first time, he only trails off.

"It's because—"

"Shh..." Kolya places his pointer finger on Gold's lips to stop him from speaking.

"You keep doing it." The lead dancer slowly puts his finger down, brushing Gold's upper lip, lower lip, and chin. "You don't have to justify your answer just because I ask."

This is Gold's another habit. He thinks that he should always justify his actions or feelings.

"It's okay. Not everything can be explained. Sometimes, it's enough that you just feel them...that you acknowledge them."

Gold gulps. It's hard to process Kolya's words for the reason that all his life, he's seeking validation from the eyes of his mother. Validation cannot be valid if you don't give enough reasons to prove why it's worth validating. 

Gold doesn't believe that just because things exist, it is already valid. One should not just exist. It should live and shine.

Perhaps the reason why he can't seem to hate Nikolai is because he doesn't have enough reason to hate him.

"You make it so hard to hate you." Gold abruptly confesses, averting his gaze from Kolya.

The lead dancer smiles and he offers his right hand.

"Then just be my friend...."

Gold stares at Kolya's hand for a moment. After a careful consideration, he shrugs his shoulders.

"Friends." He takes Kolya's hand because...what the hell, right? Nikolai is correct. He doesn't need to reason out everything. His heart thumping so loud right now isn't even a good reason to run for the hills because it doesn't mean he's falling in love.

Right?