I usually had dinner with my family every Sunday evening. My older sister, Marigold (who we all called Mari), sometimes joined us if she wasn’t busy doing something with her fiancé, David. My younger sister, Kate, only joined us because the food was infinitely better than the stuff they served at the dorm cafeteria at UW, and, as she would elegantly put it, “I can’t eat Chipotle every day or my asshole will explode.”It was three days after Jacob had visited Buds and Blossoms. I’d told no one of his moving back to Seattle, although I knew my parents wouldn’t be thrilled. Actually, theyhatedhim for what he’d done to me at prom. My mom had even cursed him using her most powerful crystals; my dad had gone so far as to call him a “selfish little shit.” My dad never swore, so that was saying something.So, I had no reason to tell them. Besides, it felt like a secret I’d rather keep for myself—a secret I could hold close to my heart and ponder over in the wee hours of the
If you’re thinking my lack of dating experience is because I’ve been pining for Jacob for nine years, then you’d be wrong.I had enough self-respect not to keep pining for a guy who’d stood me up for prom. I might have pined for the idea of him, if you want to get existential about it. But did I cry into my pillow every night, wishing Jacob would show up at my dumpy apartment at UW and tell me he loved me?Hell no. The only thing I was crying about in college was the fact that my biology professor refused to grade our midterms on the curve.But my dating experiences were always a mess, no matter who I dated. My first boyfriend, Todd, was in my biology class in college, and he wore glasses that had such thick lenses that when he looked at you, he was bug-eyed. It was hard to take Todd seriously when he looked like he had magnifying glasses stuck to his face. But when he asked me out for coffee, I said yes.Todd proceeded to tell me all about his collection of Star Wars memorabilia,
Although my family was hardly best friends with the West family, they did live in our neighborhood. After Jacob had told me about his dad’s stroke, I felt guilty that my parents would never send them a bland casserole and a Get Well card. So I made a quiche that I hoped was seasoned well, bought a card, and walked to the Wests’ house to drop it off.But when no one answered the door, I realized I probably should’ve called ahead. Not that I had their phone number, but I could’ve found it somewhere. Not wanting to just leave it on their doorstep for the raccoons to munch on, I walked over to Flowers to drop it off there. Judith had opened the store this morning, and I didn’t need to be there until the afternoon shift.It wasn’t exactly a surprise to see Jacob again, but my heart did that annoying little kick it always did when I thought about him. I spotted him off to the side, helping a customer. I felt awkward with my quiche and card. Did I look around like I was going to buy somethi
By the age of seventeen, I had fallen in love with Jacob three times.The first time I fell in love with Jacob, I was five. I’d just started kindergarten, and it was the first time I was away from home all day. I usually spent most of my time pulling up dandelions from the field next to the playground, my mission in life to find every dandelion in existence. It was a tough job, considering that dandelions were everywhere I looked.But I had a legitimate reason for this obsession. My name was Dandelion, and each flower I found was an extension of myself. Except I didn’t think of it in those terms at that age. I mostly just liked ripping the plants out of the ground and enjoyed the sound the roots made when they tore. I was a bloodthirsty little weirdo in those days.Jacob joined our kindergarten later in the year when his family moved into our little Wallingford, Seattle neighborhood. Initially, my parents were happy to make vegan casseroles galore for the Wests—until my parent
My entire apartment was soon covered in supplies, sketches, flowers, and greenery for the design I was doing for the competition in Los Angeles in two months. For the first few rounds of design, I used silk flowers to save some money, but it really wasn’t the same as using actual flowers. Silk flowers didn’t stand or bend the same way real ones did.I considered following my dad’s advice and creating a more traditional design. Using an array of pastel-colored roses, I created an arrangement that, although pretty, looked like it had come straight out of a wedding banquet hall. I ended up donating it to my next-door neighbor, my sisters, and even my mailman when my apartment became so full of various arrangements that I couldn’t use my kitchen table to eat breakfast.My favorite so far was the arrangement I’d done with roses, buckeye, and porcelain vines, but I wasn’t convinced it was enough to win. So I’d started over, confused on how I should proceed.I was also throwing myself into
I pushed my empty wineglass across the bar. “Pour me another,” I said.“You’re drinking white wine, not a snifter of brandy.” Anna poured me another glass and leaned on the counter. “You gonna tell me what happened or am I going to have to beat it out of you?”“You’re shorter than me, so good luck.”“Stature has nothing to do with it.” Anna flexed her biceps, which were, admittedly, rather impressive. “Spill, Dani, or you don’t get any more wine.”Anna worked as a bartender in a dive bar in Fremont, about a half mile from my apartment. The counters and chairs were always sticky, and the place didn’t sell anything more expensive than cheap vodka from Costco. Anna had been working here for the last three years, and thanks to her pretty face and ability to sweet-talk men, she earned great tips and could afford her studio apartment by herself. It also helped that her landlord was one of five people in the city who’d yet to raise the rent to an astronomical rate.I signed, buryin
My hand was shaking when I unlocked my door. Would he try to kiss me? Sleep with me? I barely stopped myself from laughing hysterically. But beyond some flirting, he hadn’t expressed any other kind of interest. Shouldn’t he, I don’t know, ask me on a date first?“Home sweet home,” I croaked, flipping on the kitchen light. Kevin ambled up to me, his tail high and proud, until he saw Jacob. Instantly, he flattened his ears and hissed before darting into my bedroom.“Um, sorry. Kevin isn’t so great with strangers,” I explained.“Your cat’s name is Kevin? And was he missing a leg?”“Yes, and yes. He also has only one eye.” I laughed at Jacob’s expression. “He had a tough life on the streets before he was rescued and I adopted him.”Jacob gave me an odd look, and I wondered if I’d said anything stupid. Feeling flustered, I blurted, “You want anything to drink?”“I’m fine.” Jacob went to my living room window, which faced south toward downtown, the Space Needle visible to t
Mari held up a pink peony and a white one. “Which do you like better?”“What is this for again?” I said.Mari sighed. “For my bouquet. Pink or white? My dress is white so I thought pink, but I kind of like the idea of having all the flowers be white, too.”A few days after that mind-blowing kiss with Jacob, Mari invited me to her place to help her with wedding planning. Kate had joined us as well, although she was busy studying for an exam. I didn’t know how she managed to concentrate while Mari and I talked bouquets, but Kate had always had a remarkable ability to retain information with little effort. I was surprised she was even studying at all.“Neither,” I said finally. I began to sketch a bouquet in pencil. “Since your bridesmaids are wearing pink, it’ll be pink overload if your bouquets are pink, too.”Mari nibbled her bottom lip. “That’s true.”I glanced at the color selection that Mari had chosen, my brain putting together arrangements and discarding them just as q