I still can’t believe that Dr. Ricaforte is in love with me. It feels surreal. At kahit gumaan nang kaunti ang nararamdaman ko, hindi ko pa rin puwedeng basta na lang isantabi kung ano ang dapat kong gawin.
I still need him to sign the papers. Yes, I am a bit happy that he’s in love with me. Pero dahil sa mga nagawa kong mali, hindi ko kayang tuluyang maging masaya. Hindi mababago ng pag-amin niyang ‘yon ang mga dapat kong gawin.
That’s I can’t be truly happy. Because I know I don’t deserve this happiness. I don’t... deserve this love no matter how much I want it.
I open the door my condo and I immediately saw Dr. Ricaforte. He was just about to ring the doorbell. Bumuntong hininga ako.
“Hey...” bati niya. I don’t greet him back.
It has been weeks since he confessed to me at walang mintis ang pagdalaw niya rito sa tinutuluyan ko. Almost everyday. He’s always making sure that he won’t be called for urgent emergencies every time he’d visit me.
He gently wipes my tears as he kisses me on my lips. “I love you, MJ,” he whispers again amidst our kisses. “I am in love with you...” ulit niya bago marahang kinagat ang pang-ibabang labi ko. I groan because I suddenly feel hot all over. Halos makalimutan ko na ang iniiyak ko kanina dahil sa mumunti at mararahan niyang halik sa labi ko. I feel safe and happy, even though I shouldn’t. Kahit ngayon lang. I want him all to myself kahit ngayon lang. Please. I urge him to remove his upper clothes and he willingly complies. Tinanggal niya ang kaniyang damit bago ako tinulak nang marahan pahiga sa aking kama. The lights are dim and they perfectly illuminate his handsome features. I caress his face as he leans closer to me again. And once again, he claims my lips like a little butterfly craving for roses’ nectar. His breathing is hot and it’s making me lose my mind. “MJ...” he calls my name like he’s worshipping me. “Zachary...” I moa
“Are you sure you don’t want to go back to U.S. for now?” Lolo asks me in the middle of our meeting. Nasa unahan si Gil at nage-explain ng naisip niyang project para sa launch ng jewelry shop under my company. Lahat naman ay nakikinig maliban sa aking Lolo na puro tanong nang tanong sa akin tungkol sa pag-uwi ko sa States. “I still have things to do here, Lolo. Isa pa, nandoon naman si Hanz and he was already doing a great job kahit wala pa ako roon. I just helped him a little...” “If I must remind you, mija. Your help wasn’t just a little. The projects you came up with during your stay there were absolute perfection. I am thinking of giving you one of my company’s major branches and see if you can double and triple its profit...” I roll my eyes at him before I speak up. “Stop making me go back there, Lolo. You’re only going to use me anyway, might as well just stay here and continue to manage my own company...” sambit ko. Tumikhim si Lolo at
“Hey, baby. Look at me...” Zachary pulls me back, making me face him.His eyes widen when he sees me crying. I quickly wipe my tears away but he takes my hand and wipe my tears himself.I am so scared and terrified. Hindi ko alam... kung ano ang dapat kong gawin. Akala ko tapos na. I already stopped investigating. Umalis ako at bumalik lang para papirmahin si Zachary sa annulment papers.Hindi ko inaakala na hindi pa pala tapos lahat. Someone died again. My secretary... Karylle died because of me. Someone fucking died again because of me. Dahil bumalik ako rito.Patuloy sa pagbuhas ang mga luha ko. Nanginginig ako sa sobrang takot. Hindi ko na alam. But I also think that I need to leave this country again. Pero paano? I told Zachary that I am in love with him. Lalo siyang magtataka kung pipilitin ko siya ulit na pirmahan ang annulment papers after confessing that I am in love with him.“Z-Zachary...” Bumuntong hininga ako.
Mabilis akong umalis ng FUMC. Tumigil lang ako nang mapansin na nasa tapat ako ng gate ng villa namin ni Zachary at halos padilim na. I wasn’t even sure where I was driving to a while ago. At dito pa talaga... I am completely aware of how tight the security is within the premises now. The guards know my car’s model and plate number, so they didn’t bother checking. At may sensor na rin sa kalsada papasok ng premises. The sensor would know if someone suspicious enters the range and it would trigger the alarm. Bumuntong hininga ako. Nanatili ako sa loob ng kotse ko habang sinusubukang tawagan si Klaus sa dati niyang number. He immediately answered the call. “Klaus...” I call him. “Jade...” tugon niya pabalik. My lips form a thin line. “Can we meet?” I hear him sigh. “Look, Jade...” Muli siyang bumuntong hininga bago muling nagsalita. “I just informed you of what happened. I get that she’s close to you, but I suggest for you not to take pa
“No,” mabilis kong sagot. “Hindi ako sasama sa ‘yo,” dagdag ko. Nanatili ang mga mata niyang nakatitig sa akin. Malamig pero malumanay. He seems really tired. But his eyes remain beautiful. I couldn’t help but be mesmerized by them. Umiling ako at iniiwas ang aking tingin dahil hindi ko gusto ang nararamdaman. I kept hurting him and lying to him. Ayaw kong… umulit na naman na pagbigyan ang nararamdaman ko dahil ilang beses na iyong nangyari at hindi ko na alam kung makakaya ko pa siyang pakawalan kung muli akong magpapaubaya at susuko sa kaniya. I told him how I despise him for being his father’s son. Things should stay just as they should. Like us in this situation. Filled with indifference and anger. At least for me. Kahit kasinungalingan lang naman.
[ Flashback ] I still can't believe he suddenly agreed to marrying me! That Dr. Ricaforte! Ayaw ayaw pa siya noong una for some reason tapos biglang sasabihin niya sa akin na payag na siya? I was actually close to backing out from my proposal until he barged in my office and said, "Fine, I'll marry you." I never thought it would be this easy. Because he really seemed the type to marry for love, as cliche as it would seem. At mukha ring may gusto siyang iba... kaya naman bakit... bigla niyang naisipang pumayag sa proposal ko? "But we have to get to know each other first before we proceed to marry each other..." he said. Bumuntong hininga at binalingan siya mula sa pagkain ko. "Roon din naman ang punta natin bakit hindi na lang natin idiretso na sa kasal, Dr. Ricaforte? Mukhang iyon din naman ang gusto ng parents mo..." pag-angal ko. He looked at me with a stern look on his face. Na para bang gusto niya akong pangaralan pero bago pa siya makasagot ay inunahan ko na siya. "Fine
[ Flashback continues ] He was stunned for a moment. His lips were pursed and couldn't even utter a single word. I, however, remained looking at him... waiting for his answer. I assumed before that maybe he was really in love with someone. That's why he was so hesitant to agree to my proposal. I don’t know but I suddenly had the urge to ask him if there's really someone that he’s in love with. Kahit pansin kong, oo, tinanong ko pa rin. Who knows, I might stop this ridiculous idea of marrying him so he could be with the one he really— “No. I’m not.” Diretso ang pagkakasabi niya noon at hindi man lang siya nagdalawang isip kahit kitang kita ko sa mga mata niya ang gulat kanina. He’s not? Is he bluffing? “
Why was it so easy for him to say that he’s in love with me? Bakit ang dali sa kaniya na iparamdam sa akin iyon kahit anong trato ko sa kaniya na hindi ko siya mahal? What exactly is wrong with this man? How can he be so…? I was too shocked that he’s in front of me right now that I didn’t notice his suitcase behind him. Don’t tell me… he’s planning to live here again… with me? I’m not going to allow him to. This is insane! “What’s with the suitcase behind you?” I asked anyway, kahit parang alam ko naman na ang sagot. He smiled a little before pulling his suitcase beside him. “I’m going to live here again… with you, MJ…” aniya, confirming my thoughts. Bumuntong hininga ako at napasapo ang kamay sa ulo. “How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not really in love with you? I was lying. I am mad at you, Dr. Ricaforte. I hate you…” walang emosyon kong sambit pagkatingin ko nang diretso sa mga mata niya. “Ang kulit mo!” singhal ko pa.