LOGINShare
June 25
Last Updated:
2024-10-29 19:42:56After the incident that occurred in Mrs. Uju's neighbor's house on Saturday, after the incident that occurred in Mrs. Uju's church, I want you to know that I felt bad for three days. I want you to know that I felt pain but not clueless ones. I want you to know that I felt the true meaning of a friend in need.
I wanted to express the pain I felt for her neighbor through tears but Mrs. Uju warned me not to waste my time pissing her off. I wanted to express my refusal on the decision she made with the senior pastor but Mrs. Uju reminded me of her ownership in the place we lived together.
Today, I asked myself about my identity. I asked myself who I am. Am I the loner who lost himself trying to search for someone else? Am I the loner who lost his past while seeking for a lost cause? Yes! Lost cause! The senior pastor of Mrs. Uju's church told her I was a lost cause, a demon infested human being with a craving to go against the will of God. What is God? A system? Who is God
Related chapters
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 26
Life seems to be fair to a lot of people. Life seems to be good to some people. Today, I left home to see birds perch on the bank of a river and I was speculating how they spread their wings while searching for the right flow. It has always been a cognitive content interlacing my childlike brain of how birds reach out to the sky and get instant replies. I have questioned a man once about the beauty of flight. He looked at me, shook his head and told me to ask God.Well, I want to explain it all so you may not criticize me or condemn me when I speak against God. It irks me to the marrow of my bone and passes through my arteries, capillaries and veins, leaving my lucent heart with draggled nets hanging to the tide of my belly when I think about how people react when I say I am not a Christian.I can recall mildly, when I was questioned on this subject at church. I cannot deny how annoyed I was when the girl accused me of sacred treason. To accuse me of treaso
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 28
"Perer," Mrs. Uju said, shifting her gaze, and considering her words carefully, "you know today is the day you are you going to be delivered from whatever evil spirit that is bothering you. We have talked about this several times and we have agreed you are going to receive deliverance. Or do you have something else to say?""To be perfectly honest with you, ma, I am not familiar with deliverances at all, and I didn't agree to get delivered today because there is absolutely nothing wrong with me," I earnestly confessed.Mrs. Uju sighed and acted as if she wanted to pluck all the hairs on her head at once. There were some glances between me, her, and Vine who nodded in support of her mother."Very well, then," Mrs. Uju said, watching my eyes as she spoke. "I will have to inform your aunt if you refuse to obey me.""I am not going anywhere.""You don't give orders in my own house, Perer. Do you know I am capable of throwing you into the streets withou
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 30
I reached Jane's apartment before it was 12pm. I didn't know what else to do after Mrs. Uju chased me out of her house."Who is that?" Jane asked as she turned the door knob at the opposite end."Perer," I said."Come inside."I moved silently and quickly towards the couch and waited to see what would happen. The sitting room light came on, blindingly bright; I blinked as I sat tensed."Are you sure you are alright, Perer?" Jane asked."I am fine," I lied.Jane stood steps away from me, covering her breasts with both hands. She was wearing a tank top and a plain white skirt. I knew she was worried about my sudden visit so was I."Can I get you something to drink?" She asked, wondering if she had made the best approach to get into my thoughts."No, I am fine.""You don't look fine to me," she raised her eyebrows. "What happened to you?"I kept q
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger July 1
The first day of July should bring fresh flowers! Shouldn't it? The first day of July should bring peace! Shouldn't it? The first day of July should bring joy! Shouldn't it?"How was your trip from Lagos to Enugu?" Uncle Max took a coin I had never seen before and tossed it while my eyes circled as I watched it reach its maximum height and fall. He did it twice."It was boring," I said."Why was it boring?" Uncle Max asked."Because I had to sit alone in the back seat with a pregnant woman. She kept on complaining about her stomach as if I was the one that planted it in there."Uncle Max laughed. "Pregnancy is a heavy load to carry. You know she was just reacting to internal disturbances.""I know! Internal disturbances I didn't start. I hate when people bother me with their problems when they can solve it by themselves.""You mean you hate taking care of people's responsibilities?" Uncle Max asked."That is not what I me
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger July 10
I love stories a lot. Do you? Since I have been writing this diary of my life, I have been able to create wonderful stories that has touched both of us deeply. Do you agree? Now, I ask, who doesn’t love a short love story about meeting random people? Especially the very unique ways that people can get connected together without putting much efforts. It is almost more than eight days since I wrote an entry where Uncle Max told me plainly that he had gotten Miss Bisi pregnant. I didn’t give him the best answer he wanted because I did not have much t
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger July 15
It was still morning when I heard that a soccer match which I had been craving to watch would be displayed in a betting shop. Bet9ja was the name of the betting shop! I thought for a while if there was a need of going to watch it and of course, there was a need. As a partial loner, I have always adored soccer games to any kind of game. I recall when some folks talked about this when I was younger. All I could say back then was how stupid they would be to prefer a soccer game over a movie. Not until I became a grown child did I discover it was more interesting than I had imagined. Sometimes, it sticks to my mind when I think of what some of my friends and family members would say about my choice of preferring soccer to any cartoon or movie. But, however, I am me and keeping up with what I do is making people understand I will keep being me and me forever.In accordance to what some fans would always yell, "wear our club jersey," I picked up a red jersey and wore it. I sa
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger July 18
One of the fastest ways to commit suicide is to accept the moment, time taken and procedures involved in being a part of it. When you have done that, you feel a sense of freedom for a while, a month, up to a year. In the end, you realize you are not dead but have been dead a long time ago."I think a gun and a bullet is enough," Henry corrected. He had decided to visit me today from wherever he was staying."That is too much pain for me to bear," I replied."I don't know if it is painful, but it sure is fast. The problem isn't about shooting yourself, the problem is to get hold of a gun. Once you get hold of it, then it is perfect. At least for me."I laughed."Why do we feel the need to die?" I asked."Maybe because we easily get tired of living our old life over and over again.""So, it is a cycle? An unending cycle that holds on to us for eternity?"It was Henry turn to laugh and he laughed well."There is a wom
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger July 20
Inside the room, I was welcomed by the buzz of an air-conditioner. The floor was covered with a rich black rug, and in the middle of the room was a massive couch on which two pairs of pillows were propped up in an orderly manner. By the far wall stood a plasma television slightly above a refrigerator. The room was cold so was my skin."Hello!" I said to no one in particular. For a moment it looked like I was not going to get a reply until I heard driblets of water coming from the bathroom."Sit down," a voice from the bathroom said. It was the woman Henry had set me up with. "Stay calm! Stay focused! Henry told me about you. You want to have a random conversation?""Sure," I smiled. "Let us do this Mrs. New woman.""Alright! Me? I am 32. Worried about our upcoming election, but today, right here and now, is lovely," the woman said."Most of the time, I think you are a scientist," I said, playing along."Well, I have a masters degree in conse
Latest chapter
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger About the Author
Chibuzor Victor Obih was born in the southern part of Nigeria. Delta State to be precise. His writing includes essays, poetry and short stories. He likes to play soccer, read, study and above all, write. He is currently a fourth year student of a renowned public university in Nigeria. The University of Port-Harcourt is where he is pursuing a bachelor's degree in Mechanical Engineering. Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger is his second book and his second attempt to explore the beautiful world of a novelist. To stay connected with him and his works, you can follow him on Instagram using the account name, Chibuzor Victor Obih or follow him on Facebook using the account name, Author Chibuzor Victor Obih.
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 31
The pathway to heaven is rough. The streets are not tarred. The bells are not ringing. Where is God?Apart from the sound of the water dripping from the tap in the bathroom, I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't even hear my heart beating inside my chest."This is going to be my last attempt," I said to myself.I tried to turn around as I felt the impact of the drug I took. I tried to move my limbs but I couldn't. I closed my eyes and saw myself dying. It was terrible. Then, suddenly, I saw Jesus Christ looking down at me. His feet, white as snow. His hair, colorful as gold. He took my arm and told me to get up."I will give you another chance, Perer," he said."Why?" I asked, confused."Because you deserve it."I didn't know what else to say. I just stood there, shocked. I stood in front of the son of God I had condemned most of my life and I couldn't say anything. All I could think about was my book. The diary I had writt
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 26
"The first time I have ever thought of killing myself was in Port-Harcourt. I wanted to make my death quick. Less painful! I wanted to pass any sharp thing through my body and bleed till I was dead. I didn't realize how painful it was until I grew older," I said to the therapist."Where were your parents when you were going through all of this?" The therapist asked."What can I say about my parents," I said, thinking. "Dad stayed with us until he divorced Mum some months ago. Then I was sent to live with my uncle here as if I was the cause of their divorce. Dad was always thinking about life. He constantly joked about God. For your information, Dad hates God. I don't know the exact reason why he hates God, I only know he hates God. Anytime someone mentions the name of God, he gets pissed.""Do you think your Dad's hatred for God is the reason why you hate God too?""I don't think so," I swallowed hard. "My case is different from Dad. I only want answers t
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 23
For days, I have been pondering about the meaning of my life and I can tell you that I haven't been gripped by the fear of it even if it is the slightest bit of it. Have you ever been scared of dying and as well feel you are not afraid of living? Only two days did I hear a preacher speak of eternal life and it resounded in my ears for as long as I could remember. It was the first time a person read a bit of my mind without knowing me. Do you think I am slowly turning to God?For so long I have dreamt of Clag and Danny. And for so long I have demanded an answer as to why I was brought to this life, but yet, there haven't been any answers. For some reasons, I reckon, I am but only a roaming lifeless mustard seed enclosed in a showcase and packaged in a nylon called life. To prove my point, think of an empty space with an empty sack lying downwards. Can you imagine that?I left home today to visit Goodness. A newness of
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 20
"Thank you for coming today," the therapist said. "I was afraid you wouldn't come because of the way you sounded when you left my office the other day.""Can we continue from where we stopped. As you can see, I am already getting tired of this introductions.""I understand. I understand, Perer."The therapist turned my file to the next page."I thought I would never say this about you but you are an incredibly smart person. You deserve a good life.""Almost everyone does," I replied."Some, more than others. Those who set goals, work very hard, stay out of trouble and complete their education deserve a better life.""Can we get on with this, ma? I am trying hard not to freeze to death.""Are you cold?""No! But I am freezing yo death inside of me.""Give me time."I watched as the woman looked at my file, raised it up, turned it over and placed it back on
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 13
"Seven children?" Miss Bisi repeated. "I am sorry, you want us to have seven children.""Yes!" Uncle Max smiled."And you mustn't apologize all the time. It is permitted for couples to share diverse opinions on children. As long as there is love, there is unity.""And you want us to have peace in a home filled with seven children?"Uncle Max didn't mind having lots of children even if it was a dozen because he had spent most of his whole life being alone. The fact that Miss Bisi wanted less than seven kids was not going to change his mind."I was thinking," I interrupted, "with the rate of inflation going on in Nigeria and with the way jobs are getting fewer, how are you guys going to raise seven children in an unstable mixed economy?""God will provide," Uncle Max smiled."Yes! God will provide," Miss Bisi added, supporting his statement. "What is on my mind is not giving birth but being referred to as a married woman. I want people to start
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 9
"I want to help you, Perer," the therapist said. "We agreed to meet two days ago. Why did you delay?""I can't answer that, ma. And you can't help me. I am already a lost cause who is swimming on the surface of the earth. My time will come and I will soon die.""I understand," the therapist wrote something down on a book. "Any memories of your childhood you might want to share with me? Since the conversation about the people you care about last time did not lead us anywhere, I thought it would be best if you tell me about your childhood.""There is nothing to talk about in my childhood. It was a moment that has passed. It can't come back again even if I want it to."“Are you happy with the way your life is right now, Perer?”"Happiness is a subjective question, ma. It can mean a lot to a lot of people. Some people are in a relationship not because they are happy about it but because th
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 1
My day started almost in a haste. It started with the early morning sun shining in a rush before the rain started falling slowly from the sky. The rain fell like fine sifted unwanted powder thrown from above. I was still in Enugu and I was still at Uncle Max's house, acting with utmost perfection as if everything was alright with me. Not for one single time did Uncle Max wonder if my silence was a new found habit or if it was a cage I had deeply fallen into. The lack of communication that started between us two weeks ago was still growing everyday as if it had an unquenchable hunger that needed to be settled. The lack of communication bothered me as I counted the number of days remaining for the year to end. One hundred and fifty two days!"Miss Bisi is coming today," Uncle Max said as he served me a plate of rice and stew. "She has been asking questions about you and I have been finding lies to tell her. What is really wrong with you, Perer?"I felt my jaw drop but I
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger July 31
I did not talk. I could not talk as I sat on the white plastic chair. The therapist repeated the question, and again, instead of a response, all she got from me was a bland dying stare."Perer, relax. I want you to relax. I hope the plastic chair is comfortable?""Relaxation is not something that I fancy these days. Say what you want to say. I will answer as much as I can answer.""Alright," the therapist wore her glasses. "Perer, it may interest you to be informed that I have read your file over and over again and I still don't understand what your problem is. You said you are not suicidal but yet you are depressed. Do you care to explain what you mean by that statement? I will give you time to think about my question while I go through your file. I have decided to not charge you because I admire your courage to seek help. It is not common for young people of your age to admit they are suicidal. They see it as a crime!"I inhaled softly as I climbed into
