Chapter 4

Confess

The staff greeted me politely upon reaching the stable. They have known me since I was a kid. Most of the trustees of the Del Rios have been serving them for a long time, even before my family got here. If there are new people, if they are not my age, they already know me because I have often wandered here since then.

I shook my boots to get rid of the dirt then I turned to look inside the stables. The horses were eating when I went inside. The rows of cages looked like bedrooms for them. I went to Gustave's. The one feeding him immediately looked up.

"Is he alright?" I asked referring to the horse.

“A little, ma'am. That's why the vet said not to let him run and his legs might be sprained."

I nodded and went near Gustave. I gently touched his face until he relented. I smiled.

"Is senyorito going to ride with you?" He asked after a while.

I was a little stunned. I remember my arguments with Santi. The mere thought boiled my anger.

"No," I breathed.

"Senyorito seems to be busy. If you want me to support you in horse riding," he offered.

I turned to him when he said that. He looks a little older than me. Two or three years older. His sunburned skin radiated with the rays of the sun. It was late afternoon so the sunlight was shining between the walls of the stable. He flashed a friendly smile.

I thought again. It's a good idea. That way I won't have to deal with that annoying man.

I was about to say yes when a large frame passed between us. I frowned at Santi who went straight to Gustave and stroked his face.

"I will teach him, Jay. They need help outside," he said and turned his gaze to the caretaker.

"Is that so? If so, that's good," he returned his gaze to me. Santi also turned to me but I didn't look back at him. "Santi is a good horseman, ma'am. So you have nothing to worry about.”

He then excused himself so Santi and I were left alone. He silently released Gustave from his prison and went out first. I followed them. I want to calm myself down but I can't seem to do that especially when I'm seeing his face.

I hurriedly walked after him. He went farther from the usual spot so I stopped walking, and so did he.

"We're going farther," I complained.

Should I just cancel this? That's what I should do if he wasn't a meddler.

He looked at me impatiently. I'm just more annoyed.

"What?" I spat.

“It's rocky in that place. And Gustave has not fully recovered yet," he said matter of factly.

It's like I realized that just now. Oh well, how would I know? I'm not a doctor or an expert so what does he expect?

I didn't say a word and just came closer. I successfully climbed onto the back of the horse and gently balanced myself. This is my first time riding a horse and I'm a little nervous.

My body trembled slightly when Gustave moved.

I breathed hard as I tried to recollect everything Xander told me. I held the rope tightly.

"Relax your body," ordered Santi while holding my back.

Because of his sudden speech, I lost my concentration when I turned to him. I let out a little scream when I almost fell! Good thing I regained my balance easily!

"What the hell? You're distracting me!” I turned to him angrily.

“Tsk!” He spat.

He left my side so I thought he had left me. I was about to shout at him again when Gustave moved and Santi pulled himself up and positioned himself behind me. I shrieked when his chest touched my back so I almost fell again!

He held both my waist and put me in place.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed with trepidation, I just didn't know what that trepidation was for.

“Stop wriggling or we'll both fall!” He whispered loudly.

His hot breath tickled my ear and his baritone sent shivers down my skin. Annoyed, I averted my face and slightly distanced myself from him.

"I said stop wriggling..." he said annoyed.

I rolled my eyes. When I was satisfied with our distance, I stopped moving. Gustave is really good and kind. Because if it hadn't been a while ago, I might have thrown up.

He then started giving me instructions and Xander's instructions came back to me again. I hate to admit it but now that I am hearing all the instructions from him, what I have to do has become clearer. I shrugged the thought and concentrated.

"Reins should be slightly loose. Don't hold it too tight," he said.

I cleared my throat and nodded. Few gentle squeezes and Gustave started walking. I couldn't help but feel happy. I am finally doing this!

From slow strides, Gustave started walking faster. We are also moving away from the mansion. But I was too thrilled to even notice it. A few minutes later we reached a creek.

"Whoah!”

Gustave's pace gradually slowed down until he stopped at the very edge of the stream. The clear waters sparkled when the rays of the sunset hit them.

Santi got off first and I was left clueless about how I'm going to get off. I don't know what's gotten into him that he stopped here. The sun is setting and it will be dark in a few moments. The creek is still surrounded by large trees so it's already dark even though the sun hasn't completely set yet.

"Why are we here?” We should go back to the mansion, the sun has set." I turned to him.

He didn't answer me. Instead, he went near me and held both my waist. He took me down effortlessly. In shock, I clung to both of his arms.

"What?!"

I lost my balance and my body crushed against his. I caught him staring intently at me. His eyes are menacing and mysterious. As if there were many hidden dangers and secrets. His gaze went down my lips and I gulped. I pushed him frantically and tried to fix myself.

"Shh,” he smirked.

Annoyed, I turned to him.

"W-What are we doing here?" I asked impatiently.

He bit his lower lip as if suppressing a grin. I just got more annoyed.

"Gustave needs to rest," he said and led the horse to the creek to drink water.

He caressed its face gently while it drank water. I looked for a spot to rest, too. There was a big rock under a big tree so I sat there. I caught myself staring at their silhouettes. Gustave drank water from the stream, while Santi was almost on his knees guiding his face. The bright embers of the setting sun made the scene even more dramatic.

"How did you learn to ride a horse?" I asked out of nowhere. Even I was shocked by my question and the tone used.

He turned to me, amused. But immediately became serious and looked away. Half of me wanted to ask that out of curiosity. Xander says I've seen him once before but I'm too young to remember that. I bet he doesn't own a horse of his own that's why I'm curious about how he learned.

"Xander taught me," he said looking at Gustave.

I just nodded and didn't say anything more. We then went back after a while. Unlike the first ride, I was more relaxed this time. Even though I was still uncomfortable with Santi behind me, I managed to relax my body.

Also, I am used to being near boys so I shouldn't be affected by people like this. Right! Silly of me to think I am affected by this man!

"Why don't you just confess your feelings?"

I stared dumbfounded at Elize when she said that. It was lunch when we decided to go out and do a little shopping. The three of us have the same schedules so we agreed to eat and go shopping at the mall. After all, our next class is at three in the afternoon.

I told them I have feelings for Xander. The two just nodded, not even surprised. When I asked why they said they already knew and it was obvious from my actions. Like, duh!

Although I can say they're right. Everyone seems to notice my true feelings toward Xander. Even his parents had the same idea, I think. He's the only one who doesn't notice it.

I have been struggling with that for years now. And this is the first time I have people whom I can call friends. That's why I told them and asked for advice on what to do about it.

Maisie almost fainted when Eirene suggested that.

"Confession?" She said as her eyes widened.

I didn't say a word. I was trying to contemplate her idea. It's not bad actually. Why not, right? Maybe if I tell him, he will see me little by little. Not just as a younger sister but as a woman capable of being loved by him.

"Why not? We're in the 21st century for Pete's sake! Being a Maria Clara won’t take you anywhere! If she likes Xander, then why can't she confess first?"

The desire only intensified. I will do Elize's suggestion. I mustered up my courage and decided to tell him. Who knows? He might accept it.

That's exactly what I did. I texted Xander before going back to the university. I got hyped when he replied that he was vacant after class.

My chest was very tight when the appointed time came. I chose a place far from most of the students. And since most of the students were already home by that time, I felt more secure.

As expected, he was the one who got there first. I smiled when I saw him from afar. He seemed oblivious to the stares and gazes directed at him. He was holding his phone and typing something on it. My phone vibrated and my smile got bigger when I saw that it was him who texted.

'Where are you?' - Xander

My grip tightened with excitement and nervousness. I didn't reply. I started walking towards him. I didn't feel the ground as I strode my way to him. He smiled when our eyes met.

"What's this about, hmm?" He moved slightly to give me space beside him.

I didn't move an inch. I breathed hard and continued standing in front of him, trying to weave the words inside my head. He stared at me, the smile still on his face.

"Xander, there's something I need to tell you," I started.

"Mmm, what is it?" He asked, encouraging.

I blinked a few more times. I have always been confident in front of him. I didn't think confessing would be this nerve-wracking. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, I started pouring my heart out.

"I don't know if you already felt it or if you have any idea about how I feel about you. We've been friends since then and I value and cherish what we have. And then I started feeling something deeper towards you," I paused. I gathered all my courage to say the words to him. "I like you, no, I love you. Not as a friend. I... I love you,” I stared into his eyes, to make him see and feel I am being true to him and myself.

To be continued...