Chapter 6

Cry

"Please?"

Lance has been asking me to be his model for a while now. It's for their preliminary project in a major subject, that's why he's begging me to agree.

I am in the middle of waiting for Elize and Maisie for lunch. While waiting for them, Lance found time to approach me and talk to me.

I glared at him. He kept on pestering me which pissed me off. I also want to blame him because Trina's group is picking up on me. But I refrain myself. There's no point in bringing that up now. I hope they don't bother me anymore.

I blinked fast when an image flashed into my mind upon remembering Trina's group. It's been days since that thing happened. To this day I still remember the feeling. I shook my head. Gosh! What is wrong with me?

"I'll do anything! Everything! Just for you to be my model," Lance pleaded. I rolled my eyes and turned to him.

"I said I'm not doing it," I insisted. "Why not make Trina your model? She's your girl, right?"

If I give in to him, Trina's group will only have a reason to annoy me again. Also, I don't feel like doing it. Not when I'm in a shitty situation right now. I don't think I can confidently smile and pose for the camera when my heart is aching from rejection.

"Ex-girlfriend. We haven't been together for a long time,” he scoffed. "I heard what she did to you, I'm sorry about that."

I just rolled my eyes. It doesn't affect me. I just didn't like how they could go for something stupid.

"I'm not the type to cut corners on such immature work," I gritted my teeth. "I just don't want to make a big deal out of it and I'm trying to stay away from trouble."

He sighed, defeated.

"I know that's why I'm sorry. But if only... if only you change your mind, my offer still stands. I want you to be my model," he smiled.

After a while, Elize and Maisie arrived so he said goodbye right away. The two looked at me curiously but I ignored their gazes. We continued eating. I know they want to know what Lance and I talked about while they were gone, but I'm not in the mood to talk.

"Are you okay?" Maisie's voice is laced with worry.

I told them Xander rejected me. They were both shocked. Even I felt the same way and reacted. I still don't understand why Xander can't love me back. And in my heart, I hope that he also feels a little something for me.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have suggested that," Elize said while staring at me.

I smiled at both of them.

"It's fine, alright? It's not like it's over. I'm not giving up just yet,” I said firmly.

"So you're still gonna chase him?"

"Of course! No matter what happens," there was a finality in my voice.

As I said, I won't stop. Just because he rejected me once doesn't mean I'm going to stop.

That's why I went to their mansion that weekend. Even though the preliminary exams are approaching, I made sure I make time to visit him and talk to him. It was a good thing tita Alondra was there.

"Oh, I'm sorry hija. Xander went out. He went to the plant," she said then kissed me.

"It's fine, tita. I just went for a walk because it's been a while since I've been able to bond with you," I smiled.

She laughed heartily and guided me toward their receiving area. The maids are busy cleaning the furniture. The Spanish-style interior of their home is well-maintained. From the antique equipment to the intricate designs of the walls, the staircase, and even their furniture.

"That's right, I was just about to bake something for the boys. Would you mind helping me?”

"I would love that, Tita," I said excitedly.

She quickly led me to the kitchen. We baked cookies for the afternoon snacks. She said that Xander is taking care of the new deliveries.

"How are your parents by the way? I haven't seen them in a while.”

I stopped pouring the juice into the glass to answer her question.

"They're doing good, tita. They’re just too busy with work so...”

"Maybe I should visit them once in a while?" She smiled. "I miss Salena too."

"I'm sure she misses you too, tita. I will tell my mom," I continued pouring the juice.

We heard footsteps from outside and some laughter from men. I smiled. I'm sure Xander would be surprised to see me here.

"I think that's them, let's bring these out."

I nodded excitedly. She came out first with the plate containing cookies and cupcakes. I was already smiling while following her. That's why I was stunned to see who was next to Xander and talking to him with a smile.

Wearing a dirty white v-neck shirt, faded jeans, and black boots covered with dirt is Santi. He’s sitting on the single sofa.

My hands trembled when his gaze met mine. His grin also gradually dissolved and he stared at me seriously. I quickly looked away and turned to Xander. He has that worried look on his face. I smiled at him though.

I was able to put down the juice without breaking the glass. Fortunately, Tita Alondra’s cheerful disposition eased the tension I was feeling.

"I know you're both tired. Here, have some snacks," she turned to the two with a smile.

I can't smile properly anymore. I remained silent while standing beside tita Alondra. I don't know where to look when I can feel the intense gaze of the two. In the end, I pretended that I'm not affected a bit.

Tita Alondra made me sit beside Xander, right in front of Santi. That didn't make me look at him though. I just can't return his gaze, I feel like I would burn myself if I did.

"I didn't know you'd come here," Xander whispered softly. I turned my full attention to him.

"Yeah, I wanted to surprise you."

"How's work, Xander?" Tita Alondra asked.

"It's fine, Mom. It's Santi's delivery so I'm confident that there will be no defects in the products.” Xander turned to Santi with a smile.

I caught a glimpse of Santi turning his gaze to Tita Alondra from me. I tasted and sipped the juice.

"It's good then. Although I've always known how meticulous he is when it comes to working. It's good that you can combine work and school, Santi?" Tita Alondra's eyes sparkled with awe and admiration.

"Yes, tita. Somehow it goes together well." Santi's cold baritone made me shiver.

I couldn't help but stare at him. I've only heard from my friends, that he's a scholar too. How he manages to juggle all of that without neglecting either is amazing.

I've always lived a lavish life since birth. So I don't know how it is to work hard for the things that I want. I always get what I want the easy way. Well, except for Xander loving me.

Now I've come to realize that what drives people to work hard is desire. If you truly want something, you work hard to get it.

That's what I see in Santi. In his desire to improve his life, he works hard. I don't know if one of his motivations is the fact that he's an orphan, but no matter what, I understand tita Alondra for admiring his hard work.

Tita Alondra excused herself after those little conversations. The three of us were left tense with each other. The earlier excitement has completely disappeared. It doesn't feel right, now that I'm here. I can't breathe suddenly now that I'm left with the two of them.

I excused myself not long after tita Alondra left. I slowly walked to the living room and from there caught a glimpse of the porch. The curtains dance along with the afternoon wind. I decided to go there to get some air. I smiled slightly as I breathed fresh air.

From here I can see the garden. There are different kinds of flowers. The sight relaxed my insides.

"Cian," Xander's voice woke me up from my reverie.

I smiled when I looked at him but he didn't smile back. My brow shot up with his expression.

"Why are you doing this?" He asked expression is off.

"What do you mean by this?" I asked back.

He sighed, trying to calm himself.

"You're making this even harder for yourself."

"I don't understand."

"Look, if you're doing this to get my attention and make me change my mind, please stop. I don't want to hurt you all the more hurt yourself," he said with difficulty.

Now I get what he meant.

"What's wrong with what I'm doing? I used to come here all the time, didn't I? Is this also something I can't do anymore?" I asked, hurt.

He went near me. I looked away when I felt the tears welling up. He tried to find my gaze.

“I just don't want you to hurt yourself. When you see me all the time, it will be harder for you to forget your feelings for me.”

I shook my head.

"You dislike me that much, huh? That you want to lose our friendship forever?”

"You do not understand-"

"I'm the one you don't understand! Please... tell me. What do I have to do, just love me, huh?” I plead. The tears are falling one by one.

“Cianna-”

"Just tell me. I will do everything! Just love me back," I sobbed.

I don't care if I look like a desperate bitch right now. All I know is that I can't easily let this go. I don't want to give up without putting up a good fight. So I need to know what I need to do, what he wants me to do, just to make him love me back.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't want an apology, Xander! I want to know what I have to do, please. Because I don't know if I can just forget my feelings for you," I said weakly. “I won't get tired. I will show you I could wait for a long time. Until you would finally see me. Until you would see that I am the one for you, I won't stop. That's how much I love you."

I felt lightheaded when I walked out of their mansion. He didn't go after me. But in my heart, I secretly wished that he would chase me and look for me. As he used to do. But no. Instead, he let me walk out on my own.

Does it hurt? So much. I feel like I lost the will to fight. I don't see any reason to continue or if it's worth fighting for my feelings.

I stopped walking when Santi blocked my path. Instead of being angry every time I see him, I didn't feel a single emotion. My vision blurred from tears flowing from my eyes. I sniffed and wiped my face using the back of my hand. I probably look pathetic. Gosh!

He remained standing while I tried my best to look back at him. But the more I stared at him, the more I cried. And before I could even think straight, I pushed myself towards him and hugged him tight. I cried hard on his chest.

I could feel his persistence but eventually, he also locked me in his arms. He rubbed my back gently.

"Hush..." he sighed heavily. "Damn, I hate seeing you cry."

To be continued...