“They’re ugly to me. Ugly reminders of ‘the Before Time.’ I’m scared…” He admitted this last confession so softly that if she hadn’t been able to read lips she’d have not known he’d spoken at all.
“Of what, sweet boy?”
He took a hitching breath, wrapping his arms around hers which circled his torso. “I’m scared that I’ll never see anything else but the remains of what they did. I don’t want to remember them every time I see myself. Because I do. I remember every scar.” He traced a particularly large one just under his rib cage on his right side.
“Know what this one is from?” She shook her head. “Mr. Grady did it.” He said nothing more as if that explained everything.
“My sweet, Yanaha!” she exclaimed, scooping him up in her arms and kissing all over his face. He giggled and shrieked, throwing his head back, fully trusting she wouldn’t let him fall.Still giggling he said, “Guess what?”“What, baby?”“I made a friend! A real friend!” Her excitement matched his enthusiasm.“Yeah? That’s great, baby. I’m so proud of you.” He giggled again. “I’ve got your snack all ready for you. Wanna tell me about your day while you eat it?”“Yeah!” She set him on his feet and he scampered over to the table where she set a bowl of rice pudding and an apple Snapple in front of him. He grinned, du
Neither one had brought up Jaxsen’s slip of calling him ‘Daddy’, nor did Jaxsen repeat it. Sebastian longed to hear that word toward him again, and until such time he would wait patiently, if with an aching heart. He sighed to himself knowing that before it would happen again or ever on a regular basis, he would have to confess things kept close to his soul.“What’s for dinner?” Jaxsen asked as he grabbed his favorite Snapple from the fridge and a Granny Smith apple from a bowl on the counter before sitting down at the kitchen table.Nizhoni laughed. “Steak, corn, potatoes and macaroni and cheese,” she said as she set his snack of rice pudding in front of him. Jaxsen dipped his apple into it with a satisfied smile. Sebastian made a face at Jaxsen&rsq
When Jaxsen awoke he was aware of two things: it was much brighter in his room than it should be and the date. November twenty-first. Today he was nine years old. He had mixed feelings about today. After he woke he wondered why Sebastian hadn’t made him get up for school. Nizhoni, who moved in almost two weeks ago, hadn’t roused him, either. He frowned, pondering. His two previous birthdays were nothing to be remembered. He squeezed his eyes shut against the memories that threatened to overwhelm.Dispelling the flooding images, he crawled from bed realizing that he was hungry. He came downstairs to find Nizhoni sitting alone on the couch reading Moby Dick. She smiled brightly upon seeing him, setting aside the hard back. He smiled sleepily in return and rubbing his eyes he crawled into her lap. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close, and placed a gentle kiss to his cheek. He sighed
“Hey, babe,” Sebastian said to Nizhoni when he came through the door a couple of weeks after Jaxsen’s birthday. He tenderly kissed her. “Where’s Jack?” he asked looking around, a bit more than a little disappointed when he hadn’t come running.It was Thursday, December fifth. He had noticed Jaxsen’s change in demeanor once December began. Still, he had always greeted him with big hugs, especially on the days that he couldn’t pick him up from school.Nizhoni looked up. “His room. He went straight there when we got home. He hasn’t spoken since I picked him up and he hasn’t come down. Something happened today. I tried, but he wouldn’t talk. Maybe you’ll have better luck.”“Think it’s just the time of year?”
When Sebastian stood from the bed Jaxsen reached out for him, never once doubting that his request would be reciprocated. Sebastian picked him up, hugging him close.“I love you, Bastian.”Sebastian smiled, his eyes close to tearing up. “I love you, too, Jaxsen.” He smiled again before placing Jaxsen on his feet.“You want me to help you pick this all up?” Sebastian pointed to the contents of the little red shoe box scattered across the mattress.“No, I can do it.”Sebastian nodded. Truth be told he didn’t want to leave him yet and was fishing for an excuse to stay. “Okay. I’ll meet you downstairs, then.”
Nizhoni came home a quarter of an hour before midnight. The lights were turned low and the house was quiet. Sebastian left the entrance light on and enough light everywhere else for her to be able to see without having to run her hands along the walls to guide her. She walked into the living room and smiled as Sebastian looked up from a novel he was currently engrossed in. Jaxsen still took up residence in his lap, his head nestled in the hollow of Sebastian’s shoulder and clavicle, similar to the position he’d fallen asleep in a couple hours previous.“Hi,” she whispered, dropping a long kiss to his lips.“Hi, beautiful.”Nizhoni blushed, as she always did when he called her beautiful. In all her life Sebastian Green was the only one she ever truly believed. Even to this day she
Jaxsen scanned the mass of children in the school yard, eyes scanned the various faces that adorned his classmates.“…but that’s when…hey, are you listening?” Basil followed Jaxsen’s gaze not seeing anything out of the ordinary. “Who are you looking for?”“Melissa,” he answered as his eyes continued to curiously look for that one face in many. He’d been searching for the better part of their free time.“She didn’t come out with everyone else.”Jaxsen looked at his friend. “Where did she go?”Basil shrugged and finished off his crème puff. “I didn’t see her go anywhere. I didn’t see her stand up from the t
Jaxsen sat up and smiled for the first time that day with a small giggle jailbreaking from his vocals. “She kissed me on the cheek, Bastian!” he exclaimed, playfully punching him on the shoulder.“Oh, sure, you say that now,” Sebastian teased. “Tell me then, Mr. Michaels, why are you turning all red in the face, huh? You look like a little cherry tomato.” Sebastian poked him lightly on the nose.Jaxsen glared but it soon melted into a smile. Sebastian smiled back, glad he could make his boy laugh. “I’m glad you made a new friend, Jack. And I want to tell you I’m very proud of you.”Jaxsen blushed again, grinned, and looked down. “I didn’t do anything, really,” he denied with a shrug, the blush spreading across his neck and under his shirt.
Around one-thirty the telephone rang and with a big grin Nizhoni answered, listened, responded, and hung up.“Jaxsen, come outside with me, baby.”He took her outstretched hand with a puzzled look and allowed himself to be led outside. Moments later Sebastian pulled into the driveway. He got out and rounded the front, calling Jaxsen over to the passenger side of the truck. Sebastian smiled, his grin mirroring Nizhoni’s, who gently set her hands on Jaxsen’s shoulders. Jaxsen looked at Sebastian before looking up at her, a question in his eyes. Nizhoni smiled wider.“Jack, Zhoni and I have a surprise for you.”Jaxsen smiled. “You do? What is it?”“You ready?”
When they exited the monkey house Sebastian attempted to set Jaxsen down to make sure that he really was okay, but the boy would have none of it. He did not scream. Or panic, or make a scene. He simply whimpered and held tighter to him.“No, Daddy, don’t put me down. Take me home, Daddy, I wanna go home.”Sebastian nodded. “Okay, sweet boy. What happened, Jack?” Jaxsen, who was already trembling, began shaking quite a bit more.“Th-th-they found me, Daddy.”While still walking Sebastian glanced around, his stomach falling to his toes. He saw no one that struck him dangerous, but kept a sharp eye out nonetheless. When they reached the truck Sebastian had a hell of a time trying to convince the boy to let him go to get
Jaxsen spoke excitedly about all he’d seen so far during lunch. Sebastian wondered if the boy was going to collapse from insufficient oxygen.Sebastian didn’t dare attempt to taper his enthusiasm. He would much rather have a happy, chatty Jaxsen who was all laughter and childish giggles. He still remembered the frightened, teary-eyed boy he’d first met and was proud of the young man he was becoming.“Daddy, what can we go see next?” Jaxsen asked once their meal was eaten. Sebastian checked his watch.“It’s getting pretty late, Jack. We have time for probably one more exhibit before we have to head home,” Sebastian told him, checking his watch.“Are we still gonna eat dinner at the tower?” he asked excitedly.
“Did you have fun today, sweet boy?” Sebastian asked as the two of them walked back to the truck after the cave tour ended. Jaxsen smiled up at him, his face beaming with excitement.“Yes! That was so much fun, Daddy. Can we do it again next year?” He bounced a bit on his toes, turning toward Sebastian, that megawatt smile growing that much brighter.“If that’s what you want to do, Jack.” Sebastian unlocked the truck and opened the back door so Jaxsen could climb inside. “You want to stop and get some dinner on the way back to the hotel?”Jaxsen nodded. “Can we go eat at the tower?” he asked excitedly. Sebastian ruffled the boy’s hair and smiled.“How about we eat at the tower tomorrow be
Jaxsen smiled and nodded. “Can you, um, help me with my suitcase?” While Sebastian hauled Jaxsen’s luggage to the truck, Nizhoni gathered Jaxsen in a hug that made him giggle.“I love you, my sweet Yanaha. Take good care of your daddy for me, okay? Make sure he doesn’t do something stupid and lose an eye, or something, alright?”Jaxsen giggled again and hugged Nizhoni tightly, expressed his love for her, kissed her cheek and went out to the truck, Nizhoni following behind.“What time is Cori gonna be here?” Sebastian asked as he set the case in the bed of the truck. “Here, I thought you might want this inside with us.” Sebastian handed Jaxsen his backpack which contained his journal, a book, and a few other items to keep his occupation.
The boys met at the park a few minutes later. River and Phoenix were swinging lazily on the swings, their feet dragging the ground and kicking small clouds of dirt and dust with each pass.“Hey,” Jaxsen greeted.The twins smiled, River waved. “Hey, guys,” Phoenix said, hopping off the swings.“Are you okay, Basil?” River signed, a concerned look in his eyes.Jaxsen translated and Basil looked back to River. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just a hard day, you know?”River read lips well, therefore did not need either Jaxsen or his brother to sign Basil’s answer. He nodded and patted Basil on the back.&ld
“So, what did you crazy kids get into today?” Sebastian asked with a grin as they sat down to dinner later that night.“We meddled in the private affairs of the wealthy man who owns the haunted mansion at the upper end of town and solved the mystery of the rattling chains,” Jaxsen answered Sebastian with a grin. “We made new friends. Brothers that moved here a couple weeks ago. They’re twins.”Sebastian smiled. “Yeah?”“Mhm.” Jaxsen forked a mouthful of spaghetti into his mouth.“The boy we met first, River, he’s deaf. Some kids roughed him up, but Jaxsen calmed him down and signed with him, and then we took him home. That’s where we were when you called. We were killing zombies on
“Come in,” Jaxsen called at the knock on his door. Sebastian poked his head into the bedroom. The boys were set in the center of Jaxsen’s area rug, cross-legged and facing one another. Basil dropped his head to hide his face, subtly shouldering away any moisture on his cheeks.“Everything okay?” Sebastian asked in concern.“Yeah, Dad, we’re okay.” Jaxsen glanced quickly at Basil before looking back to his father. “We’re just talking.”Sebastian nodded. “Well, Nizhoni doesn’t feel good, so I’m going to run to the store and get her some crackers. You boys want anything specific for dinner?”“Can we have spaghetti and meatballs?” Jaxsen beamed. It was one of his favorite me
Basil put the last article of clothing in his backpack and slowly zipped it closed. The small suitcase Sebastian had packed for him was lying closed on the bed.“I wish I could stay.”Jaxsen nodded. “Me, too.”“I’m scared, Jax,” Basil admitted as he sat down on the bed.“I know,” Jaxsen said sitting next to him.“What if it doesn’t get any better?”“Then tell my dad again. Perhaps if there’s a repeated pattern there will be something he can do. And if nothing else you could just come stay here for an extended sleepover or something.”Basil shook h