Jaxsen nodded and wiped his eyes. “Yes, Daddy.”
“Do you understand the magnitude of what you did today?”
“Y-yes, Daddy. I understand. I’m sorry.”
“I know,” he sighed before asking his final question. “Considering what you did, do you feel this is punishment enough to make you never do something like this again?”
Jaxsen nodded, gnawing on his bottom lip. “Daddy?” His voice was strained and choked.
“What, sweet boy?”
Jaxsen took a couple deep breaths before asking, “Are you still mad at me?”
“No, baby. I’m relieve
“Why is that?” He shrugged, breaking eye contact with him. “What, Jack?”“Well…one night when they thought I was asleep, I overheard the Masterson’s talking about me. Mrs. Masterson said that it would be hard to give me up, but that if she had to choose, she’d choose her own blood first. Then he said if I didn’t cry all the time and wasn’t always so emotional and with ‘less problems’ they could keep me…but that I was too much to deal with like this.” A tear fell from his eyes and he roughly wiped it away.“Ever since they died people have made fun of me or rejected me, or did really bad things to me for crying too much. And I hate it!” He slammed his balled fists against his knee. “And I was scared that you would feel the same way. Th-that I would be too much
“Because you’re still grounded, Jaxsen,” Sebastian said, keeping his tone as even as he could.Jaxsen balled up his fists in anger, his nostrils flaring. “Well, I already said he could.” Fierce blue eyes locked onto Sebastian’s, following his gaze as he stood full height.“Well, you, young man, do not run this house. I don’t care how smart you are, you are the child, I am the adult, and I say what goes, is that understood, Jaxsen?” Sebastian told him looking at the wayward child.“Fine!” H
Sebastian sat on the home plate mound, in the very spot he last held his son as he slipped away. The chain-link fence had long since been replaced, the grass regrew and the earth evened, erasing the ruts from the car that struck his son. He’d never again come back here after that day; this was a twisted kind of self-torture. The park was nearing empty, the sun beginning to set below the horizon.“I love you, Danny. I’m sorry I failed you. I don’t even know what I’m doing anymore. I feel like I’m losing my mind.”Sebastian did not remember the drive home, just blinked at the sudden realization he was now parked in his driveway. He looked up at Jaxsen’s window. The lamp was still on. He sighed and looked away. He knew he needed to talk to the boy but he had no idea if he should attempt that yet; he didn&
“Jaxsen, stop,” Sebastian yelled over the boy’s scream. Nizhoni came running up the stairs in time to see Sebastian pull the boy’s arms down from his face. Jaxsen kicked and struggled in his arms, his screaming growing in volume. “Jaxsen, stop,” Sebastian pleaded again, tightening his grip and bringing the boy to his chest. Jaxsen fought until he sagged against Sebastian’s torso. Spent and out of breath from the struggle, Sebastian slid to the floor, the wall being his only support. Jaxsen clutched and clawed at whatever part of Sebastian he could reach. His fists balled in anger; another charge of fury about to explode. The whole time they’d been sitting, Jaxsen hid his face in Sebastian’s chest.“Why won’t you hit me?” He asked, punctuating his question with his fists to Sebastian’s chest. “Why won’t you yell?&rdquo
Sebastian sat in the driveway of his country-style home, his head resting against the steering wheel. He felt drained. Exsanguinated of all emotions, thoughts, and feelings. Acid churned in his belly as the stress of the last few months caught up with him. With a lingering, heartfelt sigh and consternation in his heart, he shut the engine of his truck off, looked one more time at the house before stepping out and preparing himself to face what awaited him. When he entered the house he found Nizhoni in a frenzy. She was in the living room cleaning. The couch pillows were askew and thrown onto the recliner, loveseat, and floor.She paused as he entered the room. “Don’t fucking start, Sebastian, okay? Just don’t...” she told him, her face taunt, her lips pulled tightly against her teeth. Suddenly all the emotion that was drained only moments ago came flooding back like a broken l
“I love you, Nizhoni Hosteen. I’m sorry, too, baby.” She closed her eyes against the tears that spilled down her cheeks. “Don’t cry, beautiful,” he said, kissing away her tears.“God, Bastian…this is how Mamma Lou felt for all that time. Every time I flinched from her.” Sebastian nodded, the days’ worth of stubble prickling her skin.“You’re gonna freeze out here, beautiful. Let’s go back in, baby.” She allowed him to lead her back inside the house. She stopped as she passed the stairs and looked up. He watched as a myriad of emotions crossed her face.“I really wouldn’t ever hit him. That wasn’t what I meant.” Her voice was low and pained.“I know.” H
“Dad?” Sebastian looked to his right where the small voice carried from. Jaxsen stood in the doorway of his study, hands twisting nervously in front of him, his eyes cast downward.“What’s up, sweet boy?” Sebastian gave him his full attention.“Um…a-am I grounded still?” Sebastian studied him for a moment. His shoulders were hunched, drawn up around his ears, his head lowered; red faced and tear streaked, his long eyelashes clumped in a wet mass.“No, Jack.”“Th-then can it be okay if Basil spends the n-night? I wouldn’t ask, but I really n-n-need to to to-” He pressed his lips together, his eyes pleading for him to understand.“Sure. Come he
“Dad?” Sebastian looked up from his preparation of dinner. “What’s up, Jack?” “Well, I was, um, wondering if maybe over spring break you could take Basil and me to the monster truck show?” Sebastian chuckled and turned back to stirring the pasta. “Yeah, I don’t see why not. Do you know what day it’s on?” Jaxsen smiled brightly. “Saturday. It’s an important day.” “Yeah? What’s so important about it?” Jaxsen’s smile brightened. “It’s his birthday. I want to make the day special for him.” Sebastian smiled and turned the fire down on his home-made sauce he was going to pour over the pasta. “He’s been sad the last few days. I wanna cheer him up.”