Chapter Four

Despite my first instinct to wrap my arms around his tall frame and kiss his yummy looking lips, I stay where I am. Perfectly still. Watching him.

"I haven't seen a panther in these woods in a while." He says, his eyes roaming over my naked body. Unlike the rest of us, he's wearing clothes. I wish he weren't, and not just so I can get a show. I feel vulnerable, exposed. Which, I guess I was.

"I didn't know they belonged to anyone." I say, taking my time before speaking to make sure my voice was strong and unwavering. I would not show him how much he was affecting me. How I was currently daydreaming of how his large, rough looking hands would feel wrapped around my throat...

Pay attention, Cleo.

I nod to myself, knowing my panther is right. I'm in a potentially dangerous situation, certainly an unknown one, and it's up to me how this will go. My eyes drifted away from Ike, much to my panther's dismay, and over to Matt. His eyes were flickering between his Alpha and me, sizing the situation up.

"Is there something you want from me or...?" I ask, turning my attention back to Ike. He chewed on his lower lip for a moment, before grabbing the bottom hem of his shirt and pulling it over his head. I eye him carefully as he takes a step towards me, handing me the much too large black t-shirt. I hesitate but take it. I'm grateful; being naked around a bunch of strange men wasn't exactly something I enjoyed.

"You're the one who wanted to talk to me. But I guess I'll go first. Where are you from? Why have we never crossed paths before?" Ike asked, stepping back to his original spot. I felt like he was being careful not to startle me. As though I was some timid baby deer. It made my panther roll her eyes internally. If only he knew.

"I'm from a couple towns over. I don't shift often, and when I do, I switch up where I hunt. I don't like attention."

He nods, and again stops for a moment before speaking, "Do you have a pack?"

"Not anymore." My heart burns at the memory of my family, but I push the feelings away. I cannot let them see any weakness. As we stand there, all watching one another, all trying to decide what to do next, soft rain drops begin splattering the earth around us. I look up at the sky, which is covered mostly by spiky branches. I can still see the dark gray clouds looming above and decide it's time to end this conversation. My panther whines at the thought of leaving our mate behind when we just found him, but I don't know what else to do.

"Look, I'm sorry for trespassing. I truly didn't know these woods belonged to anyone, and it certainly won't happen again." I say, holding my hands out palms up as a small sign of peace. "I need to leave now." I say, taking a step towards the direction of my car.

"Wait-" Ike begins, taking a step towards me.

For no real reason at all, I turn then, and begin running. I don't know if they're following or not, I'm too focused on not falling on my face.

The unforgiving forest floors stab at my bare feet and needle like branches slap at my exposed flesh. But I don't care. I don't care about the rocks stabbing into my toes, or my abandoned dinner or my wet pile of clothes I sprint by. All I care about is getting away. From him.

I knew all about mates.

While I was an outcast in my old pack, I still went to the same school as everyone else and was still taught the same basic things. Mates were one of the first things we were taught.

Everyone has one. Well, shifters at least. Since we live for so much longer than a human, love can get confusing for us. Spending so long with one person can get boring, it can be difficult to find someone who's really right for you through all the noise. That, and it helps keep the species and blood lines going. The less shifters mating with humans, the better.

So, we're given a mate. By who, I honestly couldn't tell you. Just like with humans, we all have our different beliefs. Some believe in a moon goddess; some believe it's just encoded in us. I don't really care either way, to be honest.

Course, it doesn't always work out perfectly.

Sometimes mates die, leaving their other half behind to wallow in self-pity and honestly, they usually always end up killing themselves to get rid of the hole in their soul. Sometimes, mates aren't good for each other. They've been known to be abusive, cheat, yada yada. Evidently, having someone who was literally meant for you, doesn't always mean that person is right for you. 

But that's only a fraction of the reason why I never wanted a mate.

The real reason? I know what having a mate does to people. All they can think about is their mate, where they are, what they're doing, who they're doing it with. A lot of people complete the mating process the second they make eye contact. The woman is leaving her pack and family behind to live with her new mate, and within the year a baby is being born. I've known wolves before and after they met their mates, and they are very rarely the same person. 

It changes you from the inside out.

And that's all I can think about as I'm driving home, my bare ass sticking uncomfortably to my cold car seat, tears welling in the back of my throat for some god damn reason. It's okay to be confused. Offered up my panther. I'm glad she's understanding, I've heard so many horror stories of mate meetings that honestly, it's kind of plagued my thoughts for years now. Although you have to admit, he was good looking. I sigh and feel my face heating up in a blush.

He was handsome.

Dark, maybe even black, curious eyes that watched me. Ruffled brown hair the color of coffee that I wanted to run my fingers through. Defined jaw and a straight nose. Tall, a bit scruffy. 

I shook my head, focusing on my driving. It was hard though, wearing his shirt. I could smell the strong aroma of pears. Crisp and fresh smelling. I was practically salivating.

I gripped the steering wheel tighter, puffing up my cheeks in frustration.

This was going to be harder than I thought.

I hated today.

For no reason other than the fact that I was miserable.

I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling. I could feel cool air blowing in from my slightly open window, bringing goose flesh to my uncovered arms. I watched my fan turn in lazy circles. Despite having the window open and my fan going, I heard my AC kicking in as the inside temperature got too high. I always had it set at a freezing sixty-eight. My electricity bill was usually through the roof, but what can I say, panthers run hot.

I could hear the neighbor moving around. It was late for me to still be in bed, almost nine thirty. I had called in sick to work today, knowing I wouldn't be able to function properly. I rolled my head to the side, my eyes landing on Ike's crumpled up shirt that I had kept on my bedside table. It had lost its scent days ago, and now was just another black t-shirt that didn't fit right.

Still, I grabbed it, holding it to my chest and closing my eyes. We could go see him... test my panther. It had been nearly two weeks since the woods, and I had been absolutely fucking miserable.

I could barely motivate myself to go to work, let alone keep up with my usual workout routine. I was lucky if I could drag myself out of bed for a morning run.

Food tasted even more bland than usual, colors, dull and gray. My panther was restless and depressed.

We were falling apart.

I cursed whoever decided who your mate was for fucking me like this. I didn't want this. I was content with hooking up with random gym dudes once a month (or when I got a "craving") and then forever losing their numbers. I didn't want love. I didn't want to belong to someone, I didn't want my soul intertwined with another being.

But here I was, willing Ike's scent to return to his stupid shirt. Willing my heart to stop aching. Was he thinking of me? Was he as miserable as I?

Finally, I sat up.

This was no way to live. I sucked in a deep breath and climbed out of bed. Where are we going...? Asks my panther, although I feel as though she already knows the answer.

"Don't play stupid." I grumble, snatching my leggings off the top of my laundry basket. I get a fresh pair of underwear from the bottom dresser drawer. I pull on a sports bra and a black hoodie. I can feel my heart racing as I pull socks over my feet, and slide on my Birkenstocks.

You don't mean...

"Yes. We're going to find him."