Kabanata 19 Estrecia Blaine"Base on my research, Estrecia Blaine Costiño is the only girl he pursue back then. She was very young when Sir Karl Marx starting to like her." Dominador said.Napatingin kaming lahat sa kanya. Nasa IGP kami at kasalukuyang kumakain ng snack namin. Kanina, pagkatapos ng pangalawang subject namin ay vacant namin kaya dito kami dumiretso. I told them about the girl who visited last night. I told them that I feel there is something on them. Hindi ko alam kung malakas lang ba talaga ang pakiramdam ko pero sa klase ng nasaksihan ko kagabi, tunay na pinahahalagahan ni Karl yung babaeng yun.Hindi niya man sabihin pero ramdam ko e. Ganito ba talaga ang instinct ng babae? Kahit walang tiyak na sagot, talagang kukumbinsihin ang sarili na tunay ang pakiramdam niya. Is this what we feel, girls? Pagkatapos ng nangyari sa boarding house kaninang umaga, iniwan niya ako at hindi hinatid sa iskwelahan namin. Paglabas ko ng kwarto, wala ng bakas ni Karl kaya sobra akong
Kabanata 20Signature"Why are you here? What's wrong Martha? Alam mo, nahahalata ko na ang pagiging ganito mo. I want to know what's really bothering you." Chancellor concerned voice echoed.I look at him and while my mouth chewagain a food. His eyes were really concerned. He sighed heavily.Should I tell him about us? Should I tell him about Karl Marx doing with me? Is he really a trustworthy person? If I tell him about the truth, wouldn't he divulge it? Would he keep it as his secret?Chancellor is good to me. He help me with all my pains now. I can call him anytime and ask a help. I can make him come with me and just put his self beside me so that I can cry in his shoulder when I'm shattered. He is good to me. He is very real and amiable guy. I think, I can trust him with my secret. I swallowed the food so I can talk. We look at each other intently."You really wanna know Chan?" I ask him verily.He sighed then nod his head, cue that he really wanna know. I will gonna tell him no
Kabanata 21MalayaTumingin ako sa picture frame namin na nasa side table. It was the most happiest picture we have. The memorable and unforgettable. I remember this day, it was happened in the Mags when we eat an ice cream. It was happened two months ago from now.Namuo ulit ang luhang tumakas sa mata ko. Namuo ulit ang sakit at pagdadalamhati para sa kanya. Isang buwan na simula ng umalis siya. Isang buwan na simula ng maiwan ako dito at naghintay sa kanya. Isang impyernong buwan na simula ng hindi na siya bumalik.Isang buwan na at hanggang ngayon bumabalik sa alaala ko ang mga mata niya, ang ilong at ang kabuohan ng mukha niya. Ano bang nangyari? Bakit hindi na siya bumalik? Bakit hanggang ngayon wala parin siya? Bakit hanggang ngayon...hindi parin siya nakakabalik? Anong nangyari?I touched the my tummy, I smile sadly when I felt it...when I felt his baby inside me. Yes, I am two weeks pregnant now. I am bearing his child now. I am the mother of his child now...pero bakit hindi p
Kabanata 22DarknessLife must be beautiful and productive. Life makes all worth it. I have seen people who fell in love and happy. I have seen couple who survive and still holding onto each other. I have seen life who had been survive and still breathing.But...I am the only one who didn't survive for the life I want. I didn't survive and now I am throe. I had been wishing to have the life I want...but it seems the world wouldn't like to grant it. Never.I smiled to the person who saved me from everything. I smiled to the man who had been in my side to support me and never leave me. I smile to him...the man who make my life subsist. "It has been five years from now Martha. Limang tao na tayong nandito sa Nuuk, wala kabang balak na umuwi sa Pilipinas?" Chancellor voice echoed.Umulit akong ngumiti at hinimas ang balikat niya. Nasa terrace kaming dalawa at tinitignan ang magandang tanawin ng mga bumabagsak na snow. Malamig dito at halos limang jacket ang isuot namin dito. Lalo pa ngay
Kabanata 23Panyo"Ma why are we riding in airplane? Where are we going?" Talitha curiosity said.Tumingin ako sa kanya at ngumiti. Kasalukuyan kaming naka aboard sa eroplano. Ngayong araw ang pag uwi namin at inaasahan kami ng magulang ko ngayon araw. My mother said that papa is safe and stable now. He just have a panic heart attack and now his safe. Nasa gitna namin si Talitha habang masagana namang natutulog si Chan sa gilid. I sighed deeply."Baby we are going home today. Your grandfather waiting for you there." Smiled at her.She smile back and touch my cheeks. My daughter in her sweet gesture. Sa tuwing pinagmamasdan ko siya, hindi mawala sa memorya ko ang mukha ng ama niya. She look like her father, carbon copy. Wala yatang nakuha sa akin e, pati ang galaw at pagsalita katulad ng hinayupak na iyon.Ganito talaga kapag mahal na mahal mo ang tao, ang kinalalabasan ay ang anak mo. Halos magkamukha sila at hindi ko maitatanggi ang pagkakatulad talaga nila. Kaya natatakot akong umu
Kabanata 24PokersI have already plan for the upcoming birthday of that president. I have a gown to wear for it and it's all already. Bukas pa naman ang nasabing party kaya may oras ako ngayon para magsimula sa proseso ng gagawin ko kong negosyo.I have plan to build a mini coffee, just for welcoming my business. Sunod na ako magbabalak ng malaki at mga branch nito kapag naging maayos ang kalalabasan ng unang bukas ko ng coffee shop. May maganda na akong naisip na design para sa coffee shop, it's just freedom coffee shop. Kumbaga kung sino man ang papasok at o-order ng kape sa shop ko, mayroon akong freedom wall para isulat lahat ng nararamdaman o hinaing ng mga customer ko. I want them to feel free while inside my coffee shop. Every freedom wall is for my customer. Kung may gusto silang isulat, libre at walang bayad. It's kinda not new but I love that style. Kasi sa ganyang paraan, nailalabas ko ang lahat ng nararamdaman sa puso. It gives me freedom to write and shout all my exper
Kabanata 25PaghaharapAfter the meet up with the Pokers, I delivered myself home early. Nagulat ako ng bumungad sa aking kwarto si Chan, he was in my bed, trying to narcotize my daughter. It was late four in the afternoon and my parents aren't home. Maybe they left my daughter to Chan since he's here. Kinabahan nga ako nung pumasok ako sa bahay na tahimik, kaya heto at umakyat ako agad sa taas para makita kung nandito ba ang anak ko. Mabuti nalang at nandito nga at kasama pa ni Chan.I looked at my daughter, her eyes tender as she sleep to Chancellor arms. Ngumiti ako nang bumaling sa akin si Chan, he was in his plain gray t-shirt and ripped jeans. He look so handsome and dashing. Pumasok na ako ng tuluyan at nilapag ang bag sa tukador ko. Nakita ko pa ang mapanuri niyang tingin sa akin, taas hanggang baba ko. I just smiled seductively."You dress like that? Tita told me you visit city hall?" He ask profoundly.I remain my smile. Lumibot pa ako sa harap niya at pinakita ang pinakam
SimulaNakatingin ako sa mukha ko habang naglalagay ng pulang lipstick sa labi. When I'm done putting my lipstick, I get my blush on and apply it to my cheeks. Pagkatapos ay ang mascara naman para sa pilik-mata. When I put them all, napatitig ako sa maganda kong mukha.Ang ganda ko talaga. Katulad talaga ako ni mommy. Mabuti nalang at may ibubuga ako sa mga kababaihan namin sa university. Pagkatapos ng lahat inabot ko ang sling bag at umalis na sa bahay. Hindi na ako nagpaalam sa magulang ko dahil tulog pa sila. I remember, may pinuntahan sila kahapon kaya anong oras na nakabalik.Sumakay na ako sa kotse ko at pinaandar ito ng mabilis. Shit ang sarap talaga ng ganitong buhay. Walang pipigil sayo kahit anumang mangyari. Mabuti nalang at mayaman si papa kaya nabibili ko ang lahat. Binuksan ko pa ang stereo ko at naghanap ng magandang kanta.Habang nagbibiyahe papuntang university, I playe
Kabanata 25PaghaharapAfter the meet up with the Pokers, I delivered myself home early. Nagulat ako ng bumungad sa aking kwarto si Chan, he was in my bed, trying to narcotize my daughter. It was late four in the afternoon and my parents aren't home. Maybe they left my daughter to Chan since he's here. Kinabahan nga ako nung pumasok ako sa bahay na tahimik, kaya heto at umakyat ako agad sa taas para makita kung nandito ba ang anak ko. Mabuti nalang at nandito nga at kasama pa ni Chan.I looked at my daughter, her eyes tender as she sleep to Chancellor arms. Ngumiti ako nang bumaling sa akin si Chan, he was in his plain gray t-shirt and ripped jeans. He look so handsome and dashing. Pumasok na ako ng tuluyan at nilapag ang bag sa tukador ko. Nakita ko pa ang mapanuri niyang tingin sa akin, taas hanggang baba ko. I just smiled seductively."You dress like that? Tita told me you visit city hall?" He ask profoundly.I remain my smile. Lumibot pa ako sa harap niya at pinakita ang pinakam
Kabanata 24PokersI have already plan for the upcoming birthday of that president. I have a gown to wear for it and it's all already. Bukas pa naman ang nasabing party kaya may oras ako ngayon para magsimula sa proseso ng gagawin ko kong negosyo.I have plan to build a mini coffee, just for welcoming my business. Sunod na ako magbabalak ng malaki at mga branch nito kapag naging maayos ang kalalabasan ng unang bukas ko ng coffee shop. May maganda na akong naisip na design para sa coffee shop, it's just freedom coffee shop. Kumbaga kung sino man ang papasok at o-order ng kape sa shop ko, mayroon akong freedom wall para isulat lahat ng nararamdaman o hinaing ng mga customer ko. I want them to feel free while inside my coffee shop. Every freedom wall is for my customer. Kung may gusto silang isulat, libre at walang bayad. It's kinda not new but I love that style. Kasi sa ganyang paraan, nailalabas ko ang lahat ng nararamdaman sa puso. It gives me freedom to write and shout all my exper
Kabanata 23Panyo"Ma why are we riding in airplane? Where are we going?" Talitha curiosity said.Tumingin ako sa kanya at ngumiti. Kasalukuyan kaming naka aboard sa eroplano. Ngayong araw ang pag uwi namin at inaasahan kami ng magulang ko ngayon araw. My mother said that papa is safe and stable now. He just have a panic heart attack and now his safe. Nasa gitna namin si Talitha habang masagana namang natutulog si Chan sa gilid. I sighed deeply."Baby we are going home today. Your grandfather waiting for you there." Smiled at her.She smile back and touch my cheeks. My daughter in her sweet gesture. Sa tuwing pinagmamasdan ko siya, hindi mawala sa memorya ko ang mukha ng ama niya. She look like her father, carbon copy. Wala yatang nakuha sa akin e, pati ang galaw at pagsalita katulad ng hinayupak na iyon.Ganito talaga kapag mahal na mahal mo ang tao, ang kinalalabasan ay ang anak mo. Halos magkamukha sila at hindi ko maitatanggi ang pagkakatulad talaga nila. Kaya natatakot akong umu
Kabanata 22DarknessLife must be beautiful and productive. Life makes all worth it. I have seen people who fell in love and happy. I have seen couple who survive and still holding onto each other. I have seen life who had been survive and still breathing.But...I am the only one who didn't survive for the life I want. I didn't survive and now I am throe. I had been wishing to have the life I want...but it seems the world wouldn't like to grant it. Never.I smiled to the person who saved me from everything. I smiled to the man who had been in my side to support me and never leave me. I smile to him...the man who make my life subsist. "It has been five years from now Martha. Limang tao na tayong nandito sa Nuuk, wala kabang balak na umuwi sa Pilipinas?" Chancellor voice echoed.Umulit akong ngumiti at hinimas ang balikat niya. Nasa terrace kaming dalawa at tinitignan ang magandang tanawin ng mga bumabagsak na snow. Malamig dito at halos limang jacket ang isuot namin dito. Lalo pa ngay
Kabanata 21MalayaTumingin ako sa picture frame namin na nasa side table. It was the most happiest picture we have. The memorable and unforgettable. I remember this day, it was happened in the Mags when we eat an ice cream. It was happened two months ago from now.Namuo ulit ang luhang tumakas sa mata ko. Namuo ulit ang sakit at pagdadalamhati para sa kanya. Isang buwan na simula ng umalis siya. Isang buwan na simula ng maiwan ako dito at naghintay sa kanya. Isang impyernong buwan na simula ng hindi na siya bumalik.Isang buwan na at hanggang ngayon bumabalik sa alaala ko ang mga mata niya, ang ilong at ang kabuohan ng mukha niya. Ano bang nangyari? Bakit hindi na siya bumalik? Bakit hanggang ngayon wala parin siya? Bakit hanggang ngayon...hindi parin siya nakakabalik? Anong nangyari?I touched the my tummy, I smile sadly when I felt it...when I felt his baby inside me. Yes, I am two weeks pregnant now. I am bearing his child now. I am the mother of his child now...pero bakit hindi p
Kabanata 20Signature"Why are you here? What's wrong Martha? Alam mo, nahahalata ko na ang pagiging ganito mo. I want to know what's really bothering you." Chancellor concerned voice echoed.I look at him and while my mouth chewagain a food. His eyes were really concerned. He sighed heavily.Should I tell him about us? Should I tell him about Karl Marx doing with me? Is he really a trustworthy person? If I tell him about the truth, wouldn't he divulge it? Would he keep it as his secret?Chancellor is good to me. He help me with all my pains now. I can call him anytime and ask a help. I can make him come with me and just put his self beside me so that I can cry in his shoulder when I'm shattered. He is good to me. He is very real and amiable guy. I think, I can trust him with my secret. I swallowed the food so I can talk. We look at each other intently."You really wanna know Chan?" I ask him verily.He sighed then nod his head, cue that he really wanna know. I will gonna tell him no
Kabanata 19 Estrecia Blaine"Base on my research, Estrecia Blaine Costiño is the only girl he pursue back then. She was very young when Sir Karl Marx starting to like her." Dominador said.Napatingin kaming lahat sa kanya. Nasa IGP kami at kasalukuyang kumakain ng snack namin. Kanina, pagkatapos ng pangalawang subject namin ay vacant namin kaya dito kami dumiretso. I told them about the girl who visited last night. I told them that I feel there is something on them. Hindi ko alam kung malakas lang ba talaga ang pakiramdam ko pero sa klase ng nasaksihan ko kagabi, tunay na pinahahalagahan ni Karl yung babaeng yun.Hindi niya man sabihin pero ramdam ko e. Ganito ba talaga ang instinct ng babae? Kahit walang tiyak na sagot, talagang kukumbinsihin ang sarili na tunay ang pakiramdam niya. Is this what we feel, girls? Pagkatapos ng nangyari sa boarding house kaninang umaga, iniwan niya ako at hindi hinatid sa iskwelahan namin. Paglabas ko ng kwarto, wala ng bakas ni Karl kaya sobra akong
Kabanata 18BisitaThe town look so fabulous. The city lights make the scenery best. The people walking in the street make the whole town alive. Seeing this scene makes me calm. Nawala ng kaunti ang nararamdaman kong sakit kanina. Habang pinagmamasdan ko ang kabuohan ng Tacloban, naramdaman ko ang pagkawala ng pait sa puso ko. It's like...this scenery makes me really calm.Dahil sa katuwaan namin ni Chancellor, hindi na kami nakapasok sa last subject namin at namasyal na lang sa downtown. He even introduce to me the Station of the Cross, it's one of the beautiful spot here. Hindi ko akalain na may ganito pala sa Tacloban, I am living here but I am unaware with this cozy sight.Station of the Cross is the God Homes. Every station has it statue of Jesus suffering from the crucifixion. Kaya habang inaakyat namin ang taas ng bundok, nakaramdam ako ng bigat sa puso habang pinagmamasdan ang statue. Tapos nang makarating kami sa rurok ng bundok, doon ko na nakita ang magandang tanawin ng Ta
Kabanata 17TalkHindi ako bumangon sa higaan namin kahit pa kanina pa ako gising. I let my sighed hard pumice in me. Hindi ko akalain na magagawa namin iyon. Magagawa sa lamesang kinakainan namin. Tama nga ang mga sinabi ng kaibigan ko. It was a good feeling last night. I remember every thrust he did, it was filled with love and care. Every spur his seeds inside me, indicated of his pure loved. Yes, ilang ulit pa naming ginawa iyon hanggang sa umabot kami ng umaga. I didn't know that it was Karl Marx first too. Kaya sobrang nasabik yata sa akin kagabi at inangkin ako ng paulit-ulit. Ilang beses niya ding pinasok sa akin ang katas niya at pakiramdam ko punong-puno pa ako hanggang ngayon.Nanlaki ang mata ko ng maalala ang lahat. Pakshet kailan ako huling dinatnat? I remember my last period was second week of last month and it was far now. Oh shit matagal na akong dinatnat at may pakiramdam akong hindi mabuti. What if I am fragile? What if I get pregnant? Libo-libong tahip ng kaba a