SaraI curled into a ball on the bed. It had been a while since I set foot in my old bedroom. Everything was how I had left it, though it was clear that the cleaning crew had recently been in here. Every part of my body hurt. It was like Jaxon shot a poisoned arrow through my heart and it was slowly spreading. I wrapped my knees tighter to my chest and finally let it all go. My phone buzzed next to me and read a text from Jaxon. It was sweet and considerate but it only hurt more. I wanted to reply. I wanted to go to him and bury myself in his arms but I couldn’t. I couldn’t handle it. Thinking of that only hurt more. Touching him would only hurt more. I wanted to run away, hide somewhere away from shame and humility. I had never been one to let my emotions ruin my work or professional life, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to face my coworkers. Not for a while. Not until Jaxon settled this. I thought about that. I had no idea what outcome I was even hoping for. Obviously, I did
Jaxon“I just don’t understand how that’s possible!” I barked. It wasn’t his fault. He wasn’t the person I needed to lose my temper at. Everything just felt so out of control. Sara hadn’t been home in two days, and I wanted to give her her space, but I wanted to run into her arms. The gravity of the situation hit me like a bomb when I came home and found her gone. I couldn’t blame her in the least, but it set me even more on edge.“I don’t know Jaxon, I mean you were married to the woman for 10 years. It doesn’t seem that much of a stretch that you’d have a night with her or that she’d have your DNA around.” I rolled my eyes and sat exhausted in my chair, leaning forward with my eyes closed. I knew he was right, her case was not that outlandish. I didn’t have a lot to go on, but I knew that I would never betray Sara in such a way. I knew Cynthia well enough at this point to know there was something deeper going on here. There had to be. “Set up an appointment with my doctor.”
SaraI felt like I had slept in a sauna. The sweat seemed to trap me in my clothes and in the sheets like a tight cocoon. My hair was matted around my neck and my forehead as if it tried to strangle me in the night. My head hurt and I felt disoriented, but the smell of bacon and coffee was alluring. I fought my way out of the sheets until I was finally free and headed toward the bathroom. My face was red and blotchy. My eyes looked sort of swollen. I sighed. I splashed water on my face and leaned down to drink in the cold liquid. I hadn’t realized how dry my throat felt until then. I straightened up a bit before giving up and heading back out to the living room. Lauren was in the kitchen bustling around and singing some up-beat pop music I had never heard. I couldn’t help but chuckle at her a bit. Seeing her instantly made me feel better. “Good morning, sunshine. Would you like some breakfast?” She smiled as she walked over and handed me a cup of coffee. I took it from he
Jaxon“There has to be something else we can do,” I barked. I sat down heavily in my office chair. “Without the paternity test in hand yet, there’s no way to move forward,” my lawyer responded. “Besides, even if we prove the child isn’t yours, the only thing we can say she is guilty of is mistaking the father. There’s no way to prove she did anything on purpose or to trap you.” “But I know that’s what she’s doing!” “I’m afraid regardless of how wealthy or powerful you are, Jaxon, a jury isn’t going to just take your word for it. I need proof of wrongdoing. I need evidence that she’s conspiring against you. Right now you have nothing but an uncomfortable situation.” “Keep searching and I’ll keep digging for something we can use,” I demanded. I didn’t wait for him to respond before I hung up the phone. I rubbed my face in my hands. My whole body was tense and my nerves felt like they were pulled like piano wire. I couldn’t sit still, I couldn’t calm down. I reached fo
SaraI wasn’t sure I felt better after talking to Jaxon. I wasn’t sure anything in my feelings had changed. Lauren had been mostly right about his intentions, and I felt more confident his goal had not been to hurt me or lie to me. But that didn’t change the situation. We still didn’t know for sure if he had unintentionally cheated on me with his ex-wife. The thought sent a wave of sickening rageful disgust through me. I stayed in the house. I stayed in bed next to Jaxon. I followed Lauren’s suggestions. I rolled over to find his side of the bed, empty, but my hand landed on a piece of paper. *Good morning my love. I’m going to the office early to try and get some work done and settle things with Cynthia. I wasn’t sure if you’d want to come in or work from home so I let you sleep. I love You.* Part of me wanted to crumple up the note and throw it in the trash. Part of me wanted to hold it close and read over the last words. He loved me. He loved ME. He chose me. Why did I
JaxonI paused at the top of the stairs when I realized the light was on in Sara’s old bedroom. I could hear faint music as well. My heart sank. Had I done something else? Had she changed her mind about working through things? I was filled with an anxious sadness. I hesitantly walked towards the room and knocked on the door. The music paused. I waited outside feeling like hours had passed before Sara finally opened the door. “You’re home,” she whispered. It was clear she had been crying and I ached to hold her. “Yes, can I ask, why are you in here? Did you change your mind?” I shoved my hands in my pockets to keep from reaching out to her. The last thing I wanted was to upset her further. Sara wrapped her own arms around herself and shrugged. “I just wanted to give you space… I wasn’t sure if you’d want me around tonight.” I couldn’t help it now: I reached for her and wrapped her in my arms. I pulled her close to me and kissed the top of her head. “Sara, no, I al
SaraI knew I needed to get up. It had been over a week since I’d been in the office but I still couldn’t bring myself to go. I didn’t want to face my coworkers’ judging eyes and constant whispers. I rolled over onto my back and stared at the ceiling. At the very least I should get up and work from home. I kept trying to convince myself to move, but I stayed in bed, staring–making designs out of the swirling paint. My phone buzzed beside me, and I had a knee-jerk reaction to throw it across the room. Instead, I held down the power button and turned it off.I slowly dragged myself out of bed and toward the shower. My mind was racing with different thoughts and ideas. Everything Jayne had said, everything Jaxon had said melded together into a jumbled mess in my brain. I hated to admit that a lot of what Jayne had said was starting to make sense. It’s not that I didn’t want Jaxon’s love and affection, but she was right: he didn’t seem to care much about Cynthia or the baby. His
JaxonI sighed in satisfaction as I looked over the itinerary I had spent painstaking hours putting together. This vacation needed it to be perfect–I was fairly sure my marriage needed it to survive. I hit print and closed the window.I felt sadness welling up within me as I thought about Sara's mental state over the last few days. Ever since my mother had paid her a visit, she'd been behaving erratically. I was beyond irritated with my mother and whatever she'd said to Sara; I just hoped I could undo the damage.I leaned back in my chair and surveyed the piles of work on my desk. I couldn't really afford to take more time off of work, but I didn't know what else to do. Losing Sara was something I couldn't risk.Putting some distance between us and the problem would give us some time to recoup and hopefully build up her faith in me again. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and my fingers hovered over the screen as I contemplated texting Sara.I put my phone away and decided a