Chapter One

Anna's POV

I had gone through the books in my W*****d library for the umpteenth time, I needed a book that would keep me locked from my phone and I was yet to find it.

The chime of a new message caught my attention, and I minimized my screen before going through my messages. If I knew what awaited me, I wouldn't have.

The content of the message sent me throwing my phone at the farthest end, I was gripped by fear that had suddenly pounced on me like a cat on an unsuspecting mouse. 

I could feel one of my panic attacks creeping in slowly and I struggled to inhale and exhale, at the same time I struggled to count to one hundred like I was advised in therapy. Why wasn't it working? 

My brain felt like a giant spider web trying to contain all my fears, and all of them seemed to be crawling towards me right now with their sharp little teeth bared. All of them wanted to bite me where it hurts. The pain was unbearable, but I could not stop shaking. 

What if they succeeded? 

Why was I spinning? Why did I suddenly feel drowsy? Why did it feel like the walls of this tiny apartment were closing in on me? 

I needed air! 

How did he find me? How did he even get my new number? 

Where was Erica? 

Why wasn't she back? 

My feet felt weak as I made for the door but my body felt too heavy to move. A strange numbness began to settle upon me.  I couldn't remember how to breathe. As I took a deep breath and started towards the door again, I knew I was going to blackout if I didn't get out of there. 

The cold wind hit me full force like a physical blow, but I couldn't feel it. It was more like a ghostly embrace from the world beyond. 

It was raining and without thinking, I jumped under it, not sure where I was going and at the same time looking over my shoulders just to be certain that he wasn't following me.

 

I didn't realize I was crying until I felt my nose drip and I wiped it away almost immediately with the back of my palm. 

It didn't stop me from worrying, what did he want from me? How dare he come back now that I was doing fine- almost fine? All he left me with were broken pieces of myself, numerous physical scars, and those unending series of nightmares that always waited for me whenever I closed my eyes. Was he here to leave me paralyzed or to finally get rid of me for good?  

A few people who were under their umbrellas spared me curious stares while some didn't. Cars were seen driving faster and it felt like I had forgotten where I was. Everything seemed to be moving fast, way too fast. 

I couldn't remember my route, was I spinning in the middle of the road?  Was I going the wrong way? I had no idea. Everything seemed to be falling apart at the seams.

 I could hear screaming behind me but there wasn't anyone around. Then I bumped into something, it felt harder than a rock. Only that it was a person.

“Fuck!” I heard him curse under his breath.

In front of me were papers that were scattered on the wet ground and were getting drenched and an angry man that was shooting me death glares.

“I...I..am so sorry” I stammered, my eyes were wide in fear and my throat dried.

But he was already picking up his things, why were there so many papers? I thought. I bent to help him but we kept trying to pick in the same direction, he grew frustrated.

“Can you just let me pick my things in peace!” There was a certain edge to his voice, was that a slight accent?

“I was just trying to help” I mumbled to myself but I think he heard me.

“All you had to do was to watch where you were going, do your spinning thing at home and we wouldn't be here” He was done with the papers now.

So I was spinning?

“You would have simply avoided me,” I retorted.

“Stupid bitch” He was going now.

“Big jerk!” I yelled after him.

He blessed the rest of my evening by raising his middle finger at me without even turning back.

“Asshole,” I said more to myself as I pinched the bridge of my nose. I was lost in the middle of a place I knew but could barely remember.

I finally stopped a cab after what felt like hours of trying to remember, I didn't have any cash on me but I knew Erica would.

When the cab stopped in front of our apartment, a worried Erica was seen waiting for me and without asking, she handed a bill to the cab driver who drove off and handed me a blanket before leading me inside. 

She didn't say anything, she was used to me running off for a while, but it had been ages since I had done that, not since therapy. I could read the lingering question begging to be answered in her eyes. 

“Are you okay?” She was with my phone, she placed it in front of me.

I tried saying yes but I was going to cry if I did so I settled with nodding.

She looked perturbed at the same time I could tell she was trying to calculate.

“It was Scar wasn't it?” She pressed on.

“Please don't say his name” I sobbed.

Erica was by my side now, I didn't want her to touch me, I stood up almost immediately.

“I am fine” I croaked, my voice sounded as if it was coming from outside of me.

“Anna, he texted you, how did he even get your number? Shouldn't we go to the cops?” She stood up too.

“No cops! No cops!” I wailed like an ambulance.

“Why?” Erica's voice sounded so firm.

“They wouldn't do anything about it, he has connections with the right people, and the cops won't help me!” I yelled, I don’t know why I was getting so angry. taken aback by my tone, Erica didn't say anything. 

She drew me closer like I was something fragile and the tears I was trying to hold back fell seamlessly but Erica was shushing me at the same time, smoothening my hair with one of her hands as if I was her baby.

 I cried more knowing that I didn't deserve her, I didn’t deserve all she had gone through for me, she didn't deserve to be worried about things she barely understood. I felt selfish and never had I hated myself more.

Finally going to the bathroom, I was horrified at my reflection in the mirror. bloodshot eyes, and unkempt hair that poked in different directions. 

The cut on my right cheek, although healed, the scar was left to bless my remaining existence, and running my hands over it, it felt like it was the first time over again, I could still feel and smell the blood and my fear…

I could see the ones scattered on my neck too, not wanting to see more, I left the bathroom almost immediately. Even when I didn't want to think about it, I knew deep down that the little peace I had managed to get back into my life was gone, and my whole life was going to change -not for the better too- it was all a matter of time, days? Weeks? Months? 

Scar didn't back off easily and at the thought of that, a shiver ran down my spine followed by a gazillion of tiny goosebumps.