I am a logical person. I used to think more than once before arriving at a decision. I used to have a system. But that was before. When I met him, I felt like everything I’ve done was out of impulsiveness. I used to not think things through when it comes to him. When something involves him, I become this stupid person who's decision making skills is crazy. Smart people are dumb in love. Maybe that's true. I’m probably a walking example. But there’s no love involved. Just him. Just Zandrey. But I still make myself a fool. “Is there anything you want to say, Ai?” He inquired. His face looks like he’s expecting me to say something very life changing. And I feel like he has an idea what it is. He’s smart. He can probably figure it out. But how can I ever tell him that that's all I need from him? “Come on,” he urged. He really knows. I can feel it. He can read me well. He then chuckled. “Or do you want me to be the one to make the proposal?” Damn. I knew i
Zandrey followed me to the office. I was just trying to remain silent. On the other hand, he was saying a lot of things while we were on the way to the office. He seems to have unlimited topics in his head. Andrei really got that from him. “I actually have something to ask also,” he said when we were riding the elevator. We're the only ones inside. “‘What?” I queried. Whenever people say that line, I don’t know why but I always feel nervous. I know I'm not doing anything bad and questions shouldn’t make me nervous, but heck, it makes me feel uneasy until I hear the question itself. “‘Would you like to meet Mom?” He questioned. He means my biological mom and his stepmom. “Why?” “She’s been asking me to ask you,” he replied. "Is it okay with you?" Is it okay with me? Sure, we were civil the last time we saw each other, but it has been weeks and I’m not sure if that would still be the same. Until now, I still don't know what to feel about things. A part of me also
“Zandrey…” I called. It's already late in the night but I kept on waking up tonight. I feel so uneasy. I checked on Andrei earlier. The kid said his head hurts and he also wasn't able to go to school earlier. I called Zandrey earlier what medicine to give Andrei. When he had his break, he quickly went here to check on Andrei. He left medicines and more instructions. But that was earlier around noon. It's already in the middle of the night right now, but I'm still worried. I still keep on checking his temperature from time to time. He wasn't that hot earlier. But the most recent check I did, it was too high. So the first thing I did was call Zandrey. “Hey… How’s Andrei?” He asked in his softest voice. I could hear him walking. I don't know what he's doing right now. He’s still in the hospital. “His temperature went up again. Should I just bring him there?” I asked. I'm really worried right now and in times like this and when it comes to my son, I sometimes lose my mind. “M
R18. “Andrei might wake up…” I said in a whisper. I was having a hard time talking comprehensively. Every word I want to say is threatening to come out as a moan. No one's here to hear or see us but I'm still not sure about doing it here. “We’ll keep it down, Ai…” he murmured against my skin. But I doubt we’ll be able to keep it down. Stopping a moan to come out is already a huge challenge. “What if... Andrei will wake up…” Zandrey stopped kissing my neck and looked at me in the eyes. “And he'll look for us? What if his head will hurt again and his fever might come back.” He just smiled at me, like he was so amused by me. “Andrei’s going to be just fine,” he said. He sounds so sure. Well, he’s a doctor. And hearing him say that kind of made me feel quite at ease. “You keep on stressing yourself about it. Let me help you forget for a while,” he added in a whisper. And the next I knew, his lips crushed on mine. It was an aggressive kiss, begging to be answered. A
We were both spent when we went back to the room. We tried our very best to keep quiet so we won't wake Andrei up. “I need to take a bath,” I whispered. This is the only way we can talk. We can't talk loudly at this time. “Are you asking for my permission?” He said in a teasing tone. There was a grin pasted on his lips. God. He’s a temptation I need not to see frequently! “I’m just informing you.” “I also need to take a bath. Do you want to shower together?” I looked at him with knitted brows. I don't know with this guy. Every chance he gets to entice me into doing the deed with him, he would definitely grab it. Now I'm not sure who between us want this set up more. “And what? Also do it in the bathroom?” I muttered. I then turned my back to go to my closet. I need to get clothes so I'll just change my clothes inside the bathroom. Zandrey might do something crazy when he sees me changing in front of him. Zandrey chuckled. “Why? I don’t think we’ve tried doing it
I wanted a complete family for Andrei. I really do. Because I know what it feels like to not have the other parent beside you. I grew up without a mother. I explored the world without a motger's guidance. I faced my problems and solved them without the help of a mother. I knew I grew up well. Even if I don't have a mother beside me while growing up, my dad was there. And even when he was a little neglectful of me before, I kept reminding myself that it won't be forever… that my dad will come to his senses and go back to being my dad. I had to be strong on my own while growing up. I've made mistakes but I also learned to straightened them by myself. So far, I knew I grew up well. Apparently, when you're a parent, it's a different feeling. Not being able to have a complete family for your children has a different kind of pain. When I was a child, I accepted my fate because I thought it was my reality. But seeing my own son wonder why our set up is different from his other cla
I don't know what kind of preparation I should do. I don’t know how to prepare for me and my Mom’s meeting. I don't really know her so I don't know how to be around her. But then I thought, that's why we're meeting because we're trying to meet each other. Why am I torturing myself so much? Sometimes, anxiety really gets to me. Since I still have time before our actual meeting, I decided to check on the reports for the past week. I just set an alarm so I don't lose track of time. In the middle of focusing on work, my phone vibrated. It was a text from Zandrey. From: Zandrey Are you still doing well there? There was a grin emoji after that text. Even in texts, he still grins a lot. For all I know, he’s trying to make fun of me. He knows I'm feeling a little uneasy about meeting my mom. He should be there, but because he's still at work, he said he'll just follow right after his shift. I sent him an emoji with rolling eyes. Just a few seconds after hitting send, my
Our meeting started being awkward and very reserved. I thought it would last the entire time we're together, because I just knew I'm not the type of person who adjusts easily. She’s my mom, but I still have reservations. What can I do? We've never known each for more than two years. But then she started talking about how she and dad first, how dad pursued her, and everything that happened before they had me. There was something in her eyes while she was telling their story. I wanted to ask her if she still loves my father, but I decided against it. I feel like it won’t be appropriate because dad has Mommy Miranda now. I was able to ask questions about her and her family. There was extreme sadness in her face while she was telling the story of his family. Her parents, who are my grandparents I never met, are really strict and authoritative, and not to mention manipulative. She thinks it’s best I didn’t meet them. Oddly, we didn't even noticed the time. After we had our meal at t
Zandrey should know because he's a doctor. I wanted to ask him, but I suddenly felt conscious. Even if we've done it many times, I still have an ounce of shyness in me.I saw him walk towards me. He's carrying our son in his arms. I saw how the kid ran to him earlier and how excitement filled his face when he saw his father. And now, the kid was talking non-stop while they were on the way towards me, yet Zandrey's gaze remains on me.He has that usual smile on his face. He looks so carefree and problem-free. He's always glowing. I feel like the world is really unfair because those who has stressful jobs are the ones more glowing. Zandrey is a walking example. He's busy with his job and does not have much time for himself, but he still manages to smile like that.He radiates so much positivity, and I just realized how much I needed someone like him in my life. I feel like we compliment well. Even when we just knew each other, we already clicked. I know he's a good person and has a good
"Are you joining in the van with us?" Daisy asked. They're currently loading all the stuff we need to the van. Dominic will be driving. All their stuff are already inside. They just dropped by here to get the stuff we will bring. After that, they'll go to Mommy Emily to get her. As for Zandrey, I'm not sure. He's not here yet. "I'm not sure," I answered. They did almost everything, while I just sat there watching them. I wanna help but I know lifting heavy stuff isn't for me, especially right now. I get clumsy sometimes so I should move as less as possible. "Where's Zandrey?" She added. He has work last night. I just don't know if his shift is over. His schedule often changes and he wasn't able to inform me. "I also don't know," I replied. I kind of feel sad that he's not here yet, but I cannot do anything about it. "Can you give me some of that?" I added. She was eating some chips and she was eating it with gusto that I felt the need to eat some as well. She handed me the pack. I
We weren't able to push through our plan of going to the beach after my birthday. When I knew I was pregnant, I told everyone we can't go because I was not feeling well. Maybe I lied well in that part because they never doubted me.However, maybe we were bound to go one way or another, because Daisy decided to set another date. And this time, I was not able to invent a lie, unfortunately. "This will look good on you!" Daisy mumbled. She handed me the hanger with a pair of swim suit. I frowned at her. I shouldn't wear something like that. I'm not sure how visible my bump is. We're currently at the mall, buying stuff for our beach getaway which wil happen this weekend. She wanted to buy some new stuff for herself so I just tagged along. She ended up choosing things for the both of us. "I don't like that," I said. "This really suits you," she insisted. I shook my head and tried to look for something else. I don't want something so revealing. "What do you want?" She asked as she put
Since we haven’t told anyone yet about the pregnancy, we were very careful when it comes to doing things. He wants me to stay at home for now, and maybe work from home too. But I don't want to. People will definitely wonder why I’m not doing my normal routine. So here I am, in the office and doing all the things I’m supposed to do. I even drove myself coming here while Zandrey drove Andrei to school. “Good morning, Ma’am Aira,” Jelyn greeted when she saw me coming. I smiled at her and gestured to her to follow me to my office. This time, I was not wearing heels and was walking as carefully as possible. I'm still afraid I'll trip and fall. Of course, I don’t want that to happen so I’m being extra careful. Jelyn then proceeded to tell me all the things that I need to do today. That includes some meetings and site visits. But I declined the site visits. It's too risky for now. “Can you ask my Dad if he can do the site visit instead?” I asked. “Yes, Ma'am. I'll inform him
I’d like to think that this is my pregnancy hormones craving for Zandrey, craving for his presence and all of him. I’m definitely not the clingy type but I have this feeling that I just want to see him all the time. I want to feel his presence all the time. I want to hear his voice all the time. I’m getting used to this feeling of wanting him to be just around all the time. It has been two weeks since we knew about my pregnancy. I haven't said anything to anyone just yet. Even Zandrey hasn't said anything too. It’s just the two of us who know I’m carrying his child. We have already been to the OB-Gyne. I was so nervous. I was reminded of the time I also went to the OB-Gyne when I was pregnant with Andrei and Andres. I was also very nervous that time. But unlike now, I have someone I can hold when I’m trembling in fear. Before, I used to go to my appointments with Dad or Mommy Miranda. But being accompanied by Zandrey hits different. The entire time I was being checked by the d
I feel like I look like a kid waiting for her parents to come home. I was sitting on the balcony of my room. I could see the gate from up here and I could see anyone coming. I sat there patiently, waiting for a car to arrive- waiting for Zandrey to arrive. I already cleaned myself after puking. I'm already wearing fresh clothes. I don't want to go downstairs just yet. I wanna know he's already there before I go down. While I was waiting for him, I was also thinking about a lot of things. I was thinking about when I should tell the people close to me about my pregnancy. I need the perfect timing. Mommy Miranda just passed away and Daisy lost her baby. I'm really not sure if it's okay to tell them just yet. I really have to think about it. I'm also not sure how Andrei would react. The kid would be thrilled, I can imagine. But I also don't know if I should tell him already. I probably need Zandrey’s perspective on this. While thinking about things, I saw Zandrey’s car parked o
"Daisy," I called. She asked me to meet her at a restaurant just near my shop. I don’t know what’s going on. She didn’t tell me anything, but I know something is bothering her. Her calling out of the blue and asking me to hang out somewhere definitely tells me something. "Oh Ai," she murmured. She motioned me to sit in front of her so I did. "Why did you call me again? Is something wrong?" I asked the moment I sat down. She smiled at me. I’m just not sure if it was a genuine or forced one. She suddenly became hard to read. Before, I could read her by just looking at her face. It seems she has become better at hiding what she really feels. I don’t know if that’s a good thing. "I just needed someone to talk to,” she answered and then she stifled a sigh. I suddenly feel bad. I don’t know just yet what’s really the reason why she’s like this, but I already feel so bad. "Tell me what's wrong," I grumbled. "A lot of weird things are just happening in my life lately,” she replied and it
The thought that I am pregnant didn't register in my head right away. I still can’t believe it and the idea’s still out there, in the abyss of my thoughts and is refusing to be acknowledged. We ate the ice cream together, but that was just it. We barely spoke a word, and I don’t know what to feel about it. I know Zandrey is also thinking about a lot of things right now. When he left, I was left there with my thoughts. It was surrounding me that I almost thought I was drowning. I tried swimming and then gave up. And then there it is… It finally sinked n. I am pregnant. Andrei’s going to have a sibling. Dad will have another grandchild. Daisy will have another niece or nephew. God, Daisy… I don’t know why but I suddenly felt guilty about getting pregnant unexpectedly. I’m not sure how it happened. I was prompt with my pills… or was I? I know it happens, but it’s crazy to have happened to me. We were careful, since we started the agreement. Were his sperms that strong? Does t
Zandrey’s POV I don’t want to agree on the arrangement Aira wanted. I’m not just after her body. I want to be in her life, to be in our son’s life, to be included in her priorities. But I can't just push that thought, can I? I want her for myself, but I don’t want her to think I’m selfish. In every decision I make since we met again, she was in my head. Every step I make, it’s her that I consider. I just wanted to win her back. But destiny has been so playful. We see each other, but she doesn't like seeing me. But still, giving up on her was not in my plans. I’ll do everything I can to win her trust again. If it means waiting for her until I turn seventy, then I am okay with that. She’s worth the wait, so I am willing to wait. Giving her pleasure was so important for me. It’s always her over anything. Even if I don't get mine, I'm fine, as long as she’s satisfied, and I make her moan for my name, I’m good with that. Nothing feels better than that. Everytime she scratches