I am a logical person. I used to think more than once before arriving at a decision. I used to have a system. But that was before. When I met him, I felt like everything I’ve done was out of impulsiveness. I used to not think things through when it comes to him. When something involves him, I become this stupid person who's decision making skills is crazy. Smart people are dumb in love. Maybe that's true. I’m probably a walking example. But there’s no love involved. Just him. Just Zandrey. But I still make myself a fool. “Is there anything you want to say, Ai?” He inquired. His face looks like he’s expecting me to say something very life changing. And I feel like he has an idea what it is. He’s smart. He can probably figure it out. But how can I ever tell him that that's all I need from him? “Come on,” he urged. He really knows. I can feel it. He can read me well. He then chuckled. “Or do you want me to be the one to make the proposal?” Damn. I knew i
Zandrey followed me to the office. I was just trying to remain silent. On the other hand, he was saying a lot of things while we were on the way to the office. He seems to have unlimited topics in his head. Andrei really got that from him. “I actually have something to ask also,” he said when we were riding the elevator. We're the only ones inside. “‘What?” I queried. Whenever people say that line, I don’t know why but I always feel nervous. I know I'm not doing anything bad and questions shouldn’t make me nervous, but heck, it makes me feel uneasy until I hear the question itself. “‘Would you like to meet Mom?” He questioned. He means my biological mom and his stepmom. “Why?” “She’s been asking me to ask you,” he replied. "Is it okay with you?" Is it okay with me? Sure, we were civil the last time we saw each other, but it has been weeks and I’m not sure if that would still be the same. Until now, I still don't know what to feel about things. A part of me also
“Zandrey…” I called. It's already late in the night but I kept on waking up tonight. I feel so uneasy. I checked on Andrei earlier. The kid said his head hurts and he also wasn't able to go to school earlier. I called Zandrey earlier what medicine to give Andrei. When he had his break, he quickly went here to check on Andrei. He left medicines and more instructions. But that was earlier around noon. It's already in the middle of the night right now, but I'm still worried. I still keep on checking his temperature from time to time. He wasn't that hot earlier. But the most recent check I did, it was too high. So the first thing I did was call Zandrey. “Hey… How’s Andrei?” He asked in his softest voice. I could hear him walking. I don't know what he's doing right now. He’s still in the hospital. “His temperature went up again. Should I just bring him there?” I asked. I'm really worried right now and in times like this and when it comes to my son, I sometimes lose my mind. “M
R18. “Andrei might wake up…” I said in a whisper. I was having a hard time talking comprehensively. Every word I want to say is threatening to come out as a moan. No one's here to hear or see us but I'm still not sure about doing it here. “We’ll keep it down, Ai…” he murmured against my skin. But I doubt we’ll be able to keep it down. Stopping a moan to come out is already a huge challenge. “What if... Andrei will wake up…” Zandrey stopped kissing my neck and looked at me in the eyes. “And he'll look for us? What if his head will hurt again and his fever might come back.” He just smiled at me, like he was so amused by me. “Andrei’s going to be just fine,” he said. He sounds so sure. Well, he’s a doctor. And hearing him say that kind of made me feel quite at ease. “You keep on stressing yourself about it. Let me help you forget for a while,” he added in a whisper. And the next I knew, his lips crushed on mine. It was an aggressive kiss, begging to be answered. A
We were both spent when we went back to the room. We tried our very best to keep quiet so we won't wake Andrei up. “I need to take a bath,” I whispered. This is the only way we can talk. We can't talk loudly at this time. “Are you asking for my permission?” He said in a teasing tone. There was a grin pasted on his lips. God. He’s a temptation I need not to see frequently! “I’m just informing you.” “I also need to take a bath. Do you want to shower together?” I looked at him with knitted brows. I don't know with this guy. Every chance he gets to entice me into doing the deed with him, he would definitely grab it. Now I'm not sure who between us want this set up more. “And what? Also do it in the bathroom?” I muttered. I then turned my back to go to my closet. I need to get clothes so I'll just change my clothes inside the bathroom. Zandrey might do something crazy when he sees me changing in front of him. Zandrey chuckled. “Why? I don’t think we’ve tried doing it
I wanted a complete family for Andrei. I really do. Because I know what it feels like to not have the other parent beside you. I grew up without a mother. I explored the world without a motger's guidance. I faced my problems and solved them without the help of a mother. I knew I grew up well. Even if I don't have a mother beside me while growing up, my dad was there. And even when he was a little neglectful of me before, I kept reminding myself that it won't be forever… that my dad will come to his senses and go back to being my dad. I had to be strong on my own while growing up. I've made mistakes but I also learned to straightened them by myself. So far, I knew I grew up well. Apparently, when you're a parent, it's a different feeling. Not being able to have a complete family for your children has a different kind of pain. When I was a child, I accepted my fate because I thought it was my reality. But seeing my own son wonder why our set up is different from his other cla
I don't know what kind of preparation I should do. I don’t know how to prepare for me and my Mom’s meeting. I don't really know her so I don't know how to be around her. But then I thought, that's why we're meeting because we're trying to meet each other. Why am I torturing myself so much? Sometimes, anxiety really gets to me. Since I still have time before our actual meeting, I decided to check on the reports for the past week. I just set an alarm so I don't lose track of time. In the middle of focusing on work, my phone vibrated. It was a text from Zandrey. From: Zandrey Are you still doing well there? There was a grin emoji after that text. Even in texts, he still grins a lot. For all I know, he’s trying to make fun of me. He knows I'm feeling a little uneasy about meeting my mom. He should be there, but because he's still at work, he said he'll just follow right after his shift. I sent him an emoji with rolling eyes. Just a few seconds after hitting send, my
Our meeting started being awkward and very reserved. I thought it would last the entire time we're together, because I just knew I'm not the type of person who adjusts easily. She’s my mom, but I still have reservations. What can I do? We've never known each for more than two years. But then she started talking about how she and dad first, how dad pursued her, and everything that happened before they had me. There was something in her eyes while she was telling their story. I wanted to ask her if she still loves my father, but I decided against it. I feel like it won’t be appropriate because dad has Mommy Miranda now. I was able to ask questions about her and her family. There was extreme sadness in her face while she was telling the story of his family. Her parents, who are my grandparents I never met, are really strict and authoritative, and not to mention manipulative. She thinks it’s best I didn’t meet them. Oddly, we didn't even noticed the time. After we had our meal at t
Months swing by so fast. It gets slow when you're feeling lonely, but when you're in glee, it's like the clock is in a race.I was having all the fun while Zandrey is here with us. He's so good at taking care of me. Everyone cares a little extra of me after knowing we're having another baby. It's strange, but I admit that I like it. I'm getting used to it and it makes me sad that it's almost ending. But I'm certain it's a different kind of joy when the new baby is finally here.All of them are so excited to meet the baby. So when we decided to finally have the gender reveal, everybody was so excited. They couldn't wait to know the sex of the baby. Even I can't wait. I've had two boys, and I'm secretly wishing it's a girl. But whatever the sex is, I know for sure that we'll gonna love her/him so much."I bet it's a girl," Dominic guessed. It was clearly his guess because he's wearing a pink dress shirt.We are still waiting for all the guests to arrive. Daisy and Dom came first so we'r
I woke up to a quite heavy morning sickness. Weird stuff were going on inside my stomach that I just felt like puking. So the moment I opened my eyes, the first thing I did was stand up quickly and run to the bathroom as fast as I could.Zandrey probably heard me because a few moments later, I saw him following me. I looked at him for a brief time, unable to say a word because I was pre-occupied with my situation. He gathered all my hair for me, allowing me to focus more on my thing. That way, I didn't worry about my hair getting in my way.I feel bad because he's supposed to be sleeping as he only slept for about an hour or so. He just got home from his graveyard shift. But even if he was tired, he's still helping me. I realized just how easier really things are ever since he came here.Just like what I'm supposed to do, I still stayed in bed rest. I avoided work or doing heavy chore as what the doctor instructed. I can only do those things if we're in the clear already. I admit I m
I just watched the two of them unsmilingly. The woman was being so touchy and I have this urge to slap her hands away. They were in public, yet they seem to have their own world, and it made my head ache. "You know, we should catch up some time. How about coffee? When will you be free?" I heard her ask. I don't whether she's oblivious of my presence or she's choosing not to acknowledge me. There's a pregnant with Zandrey, but her eyes seem to only capture him entirely. It was so annoying. She was annoying. "I'll head first," I told Zandrey. I didn't wait for him to reply and just went ahead and left them. I just couldn't stand being around them. I was already a few meters away when I realized I don't have the keys to the car. Zandrey was the one who drove us as I'm not allowed to drive. I could feel my temper boiling up. I looked back at them with a frown. They were still talking. Actually, it was the girl who kept on talking. Her hand was on Zandrey's arm. It looks as
Since I wanted Zandrey close to me, we decided to stay in one room. Actually, it was dad who suggested it. He said it would ease his concerns if I have someone with me in my room. Both Dad and Andrei are upstairs, while I'm here on the first floor. Zandrey was busy taking out his clothes from his luggages. I was just sitting on my bed, watching him fixed his clothes. I already emptied a closet for him. It was weird. I have mixed feelings while looking at him unpack his stuff in a room we'll be sharing together until I give birth. But I'm quite sure the baby's happy. For the first time, I'll be living with a guy. I mean, sure, we live in the same house with my Dad and our son. But a guy who's not blood-related staying with us is definitely new to me. Sometimes, I regret not dating around when I was younger. Maybe if I did, I'd have more experience ehen it comes to men and I should have known better. But i chose to prioritize my studies and work. And well, the twins came so I really
Everybody now knows about the baby and it was indeed a good news for them. They even started planning for a gender reveal party, baby shower, and whatnot. But for now, we decided to have dinner together- an intimate one where all of the people close to my heart are present.It was just a small dinner and it was just really with family and friends. I was definitely looking forward to it because this time we don'y have any secrets to keep. Daisy and Dom just arrived. They brought a cake with the message, "Congratulations Ai and Zandrey!" My Mom also brought a pan of her baked lasagna. Auntie Gina prepared all of my favorite food.It is a happy night. I couldn't count how many times I smiled just tonight."What about you, Andrei? What do you want your sibling to be? A girl or a boy?" Daisy asked the kid. We were all gathered in the living room, just talking about things. We just finished our dinner and we're having the dessert here at the living room. I was eating the pie I asked Zandre
I don't know until when can I dodge that question. When no one asks me, it's me who questions myself. It was an easy question, yet answering it was hard. Being asked if I love him is something I think I will never be prepared for. I cannot find the words to describe what I feel for him yet. Or maybe I do. Maybe I'm just being in denial. But when will I ever be sure of what I really feel when everything's still clouded with memories of the past? I tried to look away from my Mom. The ways she stares at me shows she is trying to read me. And I'm scared. I'm still afraid of the things that might happen in the coming days. Even when Zandrey says he loves me, I really still cannot bring myself to easily believe. It can still change. Maybe he loves me now. But the real question is... until when? And why would he love me? Do I have something he's looking for in a woman? Do I possess something so extraordinary? I'm just a mediocre architect girl when we met. We live in the same world, but
I felt Zandrey squeeze my hand while we were waiting for Dad. We arranged a dinner for us- Zandrey, Mommy Emily, Dad, Andrei, and me. We decided to tell it first to them then we'll think about how to tell it to Daisy.Zandrey and I are sitting side by side on the table. I could feel the erratic beating of my heart. I know Dad won't be mad as I'm already an adult. But I still won't feel uneasy unless I've told him. "What's this dinner for?" Dad asked. We just started eating, and I knew he's been meaning to ask it since he came. Why would we invite him out of the blue, he must wondered."Uhh..."I rehearsed what I was gonna say to my Dad a hundred times. I already knew what exactly to say and how to say it. But the moment he asked, I feel as if I lost the ability to speak and my mind can't seem to process anything at all."Mommy, I want the chicken," Andrei suddenly said. I couldn't even move, so Zandrey got the chicken for him instead. "You good?" I heard Zandrey ask the kid."Yes, D
I woke up to a white surrounding. I was lying on a bed and I still feel so weak. When I looked around, I saw Mommy Emily looking at me. Even Zandrey was staring at me, probably waiting for me to open my eyes. "How are you feeling?" Mom asked. I tried to get up dlowly and Zandrey was quick to help me. "You were advised to be on bed rest, Ai," Zandrey mumbled. "Does she know?" I asked, pertaining to Mom. I remember how she was with me when I passed out. For sure it was also her who rushed me to the hospital. "I know," she answered. There was a smile on her face when she went closer to me. She fixed the few hairs that covered my face. "Don't worry. If you want me to keep it a secret, I will definitely keep it to myself." "And the baby?" My heart began beating so fast inside my chest. I quickly shifted my gaze to Zandrey. "How's the baby?" I could even hear the trembling of my own voice. "The baby's fine," he said softly. "But you have to be on bed rest for the time being, Ai. You
Our weekend was quite eventful. After the beach getaway, we spent a few hours at Mommy Miranda and Andres' graves. But it's really true that when your happy, it seems like time passes by so fast. Monday came quickly and I almost don't want to get up from my bed. I was tired from all the activities last weekend that I just wanted to stay all day in bed. But I still have work and I can't just not go to work. I have responsibilities. So even if I feel a little heavy, I got up and prepared myself for work. If I could just use my pregnancy as excuse, I would, but I can't. Nobody else knows about my pregnancy yet aside from Zandrey and I. "Good morning," Jelyn greeted upon seeing me entering. I smiled at her in return and let her follow me to the office. I need to know what are the things that I need to do today. But I have to sit first. I kinda feel nauseous. Jelyn then proceeded to telling me the tasks for the day. "Are you okay, Miss Aira?" she inquired. I looked up at her. My