CHAPTER 02

The hell with that question!

I started feeling uneasy by running my fingers across my hand. Elisha's question caused my heart rate rise dramatically.

That memory I already buried down the grave were trying to escape. I was with Elisha that day in Italy for an Art Exhibit. I was cordially invited by the Artist itself and I can’t say no since he was a former client of my company.

What happened to me during the event were totally unexpected up until I woke up the next morning , naked with red stained behind the white bed sheet as an evidence that I lost my virginity with the stranger who became my savior and my one night stand vanquisher.

“I had this feeling na hindi naman kakilala mo yung kasama mo noong gabing hindi ka bumalik sa hotel natin after mong mawala sa Exhibit. I had a hang-over that morning that I wasn’t able to digest your alibi, B.”

"E…" I know how curious Elisha is right now.

"It’s okay, I understand B. God! If I knew right away what happened to you that night with whoever the man that impregnated you, ay baka nag eskandalo na ako sa Italy at hinanap yun. Nako! Uy, pero in fairness ha? Sharp shooter si Adan!”

Nanlaki naman ang mga mata ko sa gulat dahil sa huling patutsada niya.

“Elisha! Your mouth!”

“What? I’m just being honest though. Bakit, hindi ba? He is really a sharp shooter! One time big time! Sana nga lang talaga dakila ang sandata at pogi yung Adan na naka-bomba romansa mo sa Italy para hindi ka lugi!” Hirit pa nito na siyang ikinapula ng aking pisngi dahil sa sobrang hiya.

Itong babaeng ito wala talagang preno ang bibig. Nagagawa pa niyang mang-asar.

Well, I can say she is almost true to what she conclude. Alam ko na hindi pa rin ako lugi dahil hindi lang gwapo ang lalaking iyon.

He is everything. So perfect, greatly ideal.

“Hey! Kidding aside, what's important right now is your health. You need to be healthy and stress-free for you and the baby." She smiled at me.

Importante na maging masipat ako sa aking kalusugan. Kailangan kong alagaan ang sarili ko physically and mentally. Ayokong maramdaman ng baby ko na parang masama ang loob ko habang nasa sinapupunan ko siya. Dapat ko na rin tigilan ang pag-iisip ng kung anumang negatibo dahil ako lang din ang mahihirapan sa huli.

As I raise my child for the next nine months, I should be thinking about how best to care for myself.

“I will. Thanks a lot to you E.”

Elisha was actually here to give me the blueprint for our newest project in Singapore because I wasn't feeling well enough to get to the office to see it myself. I need to see that and approved it so she can go this week to meet the client while also attending the Singapore Fashion Festival, which is organized by Kavita Thulasidas and features Elisha as the main model walking the catwalk.

Sakto lang na naabutan niya akong naduduwal sa kusina kaya hindi na siya nagdalawang-isip na bumaba ulit at magpunta sa pinakamalapit na pharmacy para bumili ng pregnancy kit at ipagamit sa akin para makasigurado siya sa unang hinala niya kung bakit ako naduduwal kanina.

Right now, I still have time to think on how I will tell this to my family. Nakakampante pa ako sa mga oras na ito dahil nasa New York si Kuya para sap ag-aasikaso ng pinapatayo niyang bagong branch ng hospital niya doon. Si Lolo naman ay alam kong nasa ibang bansa pero siya pa rin ang nagma-manage ng Montreal Empire.

Technically, si Bryce ang magmamana ng ME since siya ang panganay, but since nagpatayo siya ng mga hospital niya at maganda rin ang takbo ng kanyang karera sa kanyang tinahak na propesiyon ay hindi na muna siya pinipilit ni Lolo. Ako naman ay may share lang sa kompanya since may sarili din naman akong kompanya na pinatayo at pinagkaka-abalahan. Wala din naman kaming family feud pagdating sa mga pag-aari ng pamilya naming at sa kung kanino mapupunta ang mga ito.

I had my Solstice Design Institute, and Kuya had the Medicus Civitas. We had previously decided that, in order to honor the dedication, prosperity, and legacy passed down from our late great grandfather to our parents and our living Abuelo, we would support one another in running the Montreal Empire.

"Uy B, you're spacing out again!" I heard fingers snapped in front of me.

I blinked and shifted my attention to Elisha. "Ha? What?"

Napairap na lang siya dahil hindi na naman ako nakikinig sa kanyang sinasabi. Masyado kasi akong pre-occupied tungkol sa pamilya ko. Napa butnong-hininga na lang ang kaibigan ko saka napasalampak sa sofa.

"Kasasabi ko lang kanina na bawal ang stress! Ay nako!"

"I’m sorry! Saan na ba tayo? Ano na bang pinag-uusapan natin?" tanong ko na lang.

Hindi ko na muna iisipin ang tungkol sa pagsabi sa kanila ni Kuya. I will just cherish this moment that soon I’ll become a Mother to this new blessing in my life.

Dapat yung mga iniisip ko is puro positivity para good energy din ang ina-absorb ng anak ko.

"As what I have said, I'm going to call Geordane—"

"What? No!" Agad kong putol.

Bumalik 'yong takot ko sa binabalak ni Elisha. She can't call Geordane. Not her!

"Damn! Wala na tayong ibang pwedeng lapitan kundi siya lang." She faced me with determination. "Sinong gusto mong tawagan ko? Your brother?"

Oh God! Her final statement is far more dangerous than the first.

Mariin akong napapikit. Mas lalo naming hindi naming puwedeng tawagan si Kuya. Gaya nga ng sabi ko, hindi pa ako handa na sabihin sa kanya yung tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko.

On the other hand, Geordane is a very good option since she is our best friend too, and she's an Obstetrician/Gynecologist Doctor. Mas matutulungan niya ako sa pagbubuntis ko dahil iyon ang specialization niya. Meron din akong tiwala sa kanya dahil gaya ni Elisha, matalik ko rin siyang kaibigan at halos kasabayan ko ring lumaki.

The only thing keeping me from calling her and asking for her help is that she works at my brother's hospital.

"I’ll go with my first suggestion B. For sure, Geordane won't dare to spill the milk to your brother," saad ni Elisha na may tonong sigurado siya sa sinasabi niya.

"How can you be so sure?"

“Remember, they are no longer friends. Also, by assuming that just because G works at Medicus Civitas, she will tell Bryce, you are only proving to me your lack of trust for G and your friendship with her.”

Hindi naman agad ako nakasagot. May tiwala naman ako kay Geordane pero natatakot lang ako na baka kapag nag-umpisa akong magpunta ng madalas sa Medicus ay maghinala na si Kuya at alam ko na marami rin ang puwedeng magduda lalo na kapag may mga test na ilalakad si Geordane na galing sa akin.

I don’t want to risk her profession and medical license just to tamper my identify in order to hide my pregnancy.

“It’s not what you think E. I just want this pregnancy safe and out of the sight of those Paparazzis,”

“Stop overthinking, will you? Leave it to me, I’ll handle this one.”

Wala akong nagawa ng humirit pa si Elisha na huwag na daw akong kumontra. SIya na rin ang bahalang kumausap kay Geordane tungkol sa kalagayan ko at oras na magkita kaming tatlo ay saka naming pag-uusapan ang magiging routine ko for nine months without anyone knowing I am pregnant.

I watched her grabbing her phone and dial Geordane's number. She put it on the speaker so I could hear everything.

"Hey, G! How are you?" Elisha greeted the other line.

[I'm okay, kababalik ko lang sa trabaho. Why?]

Saglit akong sinulyapan ni Elisha bago nagsalitang muli. Nag-uumpisa na akong pamawisan sa noo kahit naka centralized itong buong condo ko. Hindi rin ako mapakali sa aking kinauupuan dahil sa kabang namumuo sa dibdib ko.

"Perfect! I called to let you know that I and Blythe would be stopping by your clinic early tomorrow morning.”

[No problem, E. I don't have any surgeries or meetings scheduled for tomorrow. Just text me before you come here, okay?]

Oh, I forgot. Geordane is the Executive Vice President and Chief Hospital Operations Officer of Medicus Civitas. Aside from being a Surgeon and Obstetrician/Gynecologist.

"Alright. Well, see you then,"

[Okay! Send my regards to Blythe. See you both tomorrow.] And with that, the line went dead.

Masayang ibinaba ni Elisha ang phone saka hinarap ako. “I told you! Ako bahala,”

Umalis siya sa pagkakaupo sa sofa at hinayaang kumalkal ng makakain sa Ref. This woman is not a picky eater, sa katunayan ay malakas ang appetite nito pero yung katawan walang bakas ng katabaan. Grabe din kasi ang disiplina niya sa pag-gym at siguro nasa genes na rin niya na hindi siya tabain.

"Magpahinga ka na muna. Gonna make our lunch here." She smiled at me while scanning what’s other food inside my ref after she opened a bar of chocolate.

"Okay. Thanks, E!" I smiled back.

Nagtungo lang ako sa aking kuwarto para doon na magpahinga. Medyo nakakaramdam na rin kasi ako ng antok. Hindi ko na rin lang ni-lock ang pinto para mabilis lang akongmagising ni Elisha kung oras na ng pananghalian.

Nagbihis lang ako ng isang pambahay na bestida matapos maglinis ng katawan para maging presko ang aking pakiramdam. Hindi ko maiwasang mapatigil sa whole body mirror at tingnan ang aking sarili sa repleksyon.

Until now, I still can’t believe that I am actually bearing a child inside my flat tummy. I slowly caress it and started to daydream as if it is already a big baby bump.

Tahimik akong nagdasal para sa kaligtasan naming ng baby ko sa loob ng siyam na buwan at bugyan ako ng guidance at mahabang pasensya sa oras na maipanganak ko na ang aking anghel at magsimula na ako sa bagong responsibilidad ko bilang Ina rito.

I have a decided heart that I won’t let the Father of my baby that this angel exist. Hindi ko ipapaalam sa kanya na nagbunga ang isang mapangahas na gabing iyon sa pagitan namin.

What we shared in Italy will be my last glimpse of him.

I'll admit that I don't regret the way things went between I and him, but since it was wrong from the start, I have to permanently distance myself from him. He cannot again intrude upon me.

Kung bakit kasi sa lahat ng lalaki sa mundo ay siya pa.

I headed directly to my bed after finishing my belly cuddle in front of the mirror. I just asked Siri to close the blackout curtain after turning her on. I can't take a nap with so much light flashing on me.

I was about to close my eyes when my phone rang. I reached it on the bedside table.

Bryce Calling…

Natigilan akon nang makita ang pangalan sa screen ng aking phone. Nanuot sa kalamnan ko bigla yung lamug sa aloob ng aking kwarto. Kasabay ng pamumuo ng pawis sa aking noo ay ang pagbuhay ng kaba sa aking dibdib.

Nagdadalawang-isip ako na sagutin ito. Hindi ko inaasahan na tatawag siya sa akin ngayon.

Alam na ba niya? Is he calling to confirm it?

Nakatitig lang ako sa screen habang ang tainga ko ay parang mabibingi na sa tunog ng ng ringtone ng aking phone na hawak-hawak ko. Does he already know? Is he calling to confirm it?

I just stared at the screen while my ears seemed to be deafened by the sound of the ringtone of my phone that I was holding. The first ring died, but it rings again. This time, I pressed the green button with my fingers shaking badly.

"H-Hello, Kuya…"

[Why it took you so long to answer the phone, lady?] Bakas sa tono niya ang pagiging iritado.

I closed my eyes as I gather all my strength to stay calm.

"I'm sorry, Kuya, nasa banyo kasi ako ng tumawag ka," pagdadahilan ko.

I seem to have convinced him with my excuse. Thanks God, I didn't stutter from lying.

[Hmm… How are you then? Medyo matamlay ka yata ngayon?]

I can't help myself but feel guilty about lying to my brother.

"I'm okay, K-Kuya. I'm quite busy in Solstice that's why. But I'm not sick," I assured him.

I tried to maintain my composure and feign a smile. I looked up just in time to catch sight of a portrait of my brother and me on the console table in front of me.

[Y'ah sure? I heard you've been to several conventions and expos in the last several weeks ago. Loosen up lady! Don’t be too workaholic.]

My brother never failed to check on me. Kahit pa may kanya-kanya na kaming buhay ay hindi niya nakakaligtaan na kamustahin ako. Madalas ay nagpapadala pa ito ng mga groceries sa akin o mga pagkain na luto niya. He always sees me as his baby sister.

“Kuya, really? You have so much nerve telling me that. Among the two of us, you are the most preoccupied to your work. Not me,” I rebutted.

Sa aming dalawa ay siya talaga itong napaka-workaholic to the point na yung bawat Linggo na pagbisita naming sa Villa Solandis ay hindi na niya magawa dahil lagi siyang out of the country.

[Okay fine, won’t argue about it. By the way, how’s the Art Exhibit you and Elisha attended last month?]

Hindi ko naman inaasahan ang tanong niyang iyon. Pero nagpaalam ako sa kanya noong nakaraang buwan tungkol sa ganap kong iyon.

“It… It was fine. It was beautiful and memorable…”

A beautiful memoir of my memorable mistake.

Ngayon pa lang humihingi na ako ng tawad kay Bryce dahil sa pagsisinungaling at paglilihm ko. Nangangako ako na oras na magkalakas na ako ng loob ay haharapin ko sila ni Lolo para ipagtapat ang lahat.

[Good to hear that. For sure, you gain new clients from there,]

“Yes, I do. So, ikaw, kamusta ka? How's New York?" I asked him to divert the topic.

[I’m fine. I’m having hot coffee on an overtime winter night.]

"So, sino kaya ang workaholic sa atin?” I chuckled. “Ay, teka! Nasa New York din pala si Geordane last two weeks ago, ah! Hindi kayo nagkita?"

Last two weeks ago, bumisita ako kay Geordane sa Medicus pero ang sabi ng secretary niya ay nasa US ito para dumalaw sa kanyang kaibigan at kaklase noon sa Med School. Noong tumawag naman ako sa kanya, ang sabi ay sa New York siya dumiretso para sa isang errands bago nagtagal sa Boston.

"Kuya?"

Bigla kasi siyang natahimik sa kabilang linya. . I thought he ended the call.

[Ah, nope! We didn’t crossed path here…]

"Gano'n ba? Sabagay, sa laki ba naman ng New York."

[Sige, I'll hang up now! May mga aasikasuhin pa ako. Take care there, lady. Don't stress yourself too much,] paalala pa niya sa akin.

Biglang akong naging uneasy lalo na nang pinaalalahanan niya ako tungkol sa sarili ko. Mas lalo lang akong kinakain ng konsensya ko.

"I will, Kuya. Bye!" Nahahapo akong ibinaba ang tawag at wala sa sariling napasandal sa headboard ng aking kama.

I hope everything will be fine.