The sound of water running put an ease on my worries. I could smell myself and Matthias on the sheets. He was taking his usual after sex shower, while I lay here. I moved around on the bed, feeling more giddy than I’d been in days. Maybe months.
This was one of the only times when I could pretend he was truly my husband. That’s strange to say, seeing as I wear a ring that legally binds us together. We live in the same house and all that. But if I’ve learned anything, it’s that none of those things make you husband and wife.
But in this moment, after he and I have connected physically, this is when I feel like a true wife.
Although this isn’t the only reason for the huge smile on my face. Part of this smile is attributed to something even better. Something that I think will break the walls he’s put between us. I know it will.
My period’s been late. And I’m never late. I was worried, that’s why I decided to take a pregnancy test, and boy, oh boy, did I get the most amazing news. Matthias will lose his mind when he finds out he’s going to be a dad. He loves children.
And so do I. Part of my dream is to be a mother. I just can’t wait. I honestly can’t wait to tell him.
He’s always careful. We always use a condom, another strange thing for a married couple. I found myself sighing. One night, about a month or so ago, he’d been drunk. And he wanted me. He wanted me badly, he hadn’t even thought to use protection. That must have been when it happened.
A drunk Matthias is a rare occurrence. He’s not a big drinker. Still, that night had given us this. This bundle is growing inside of me.
You see, we’ve been together for three years. I’m using the word together very loosely because I’m practically a roommate he tolerates and fucks. Our relationship was born out of an inconvenience, a coincidence, and a souring mating bond.
That’s my long way of saying our parents made the decision, and we had no choice but to follow. I had no choice, and Matthias... well, I’ll never really know his real reasons for agreeing to this marriage.
His parents say it’s because of the pack rules. A pack leader needs a beta, or a luna. Sometimes they have both. With me being the daughter of the former betas of the pack, it seemed only fair that we connect. Even though he was madly in love with someone else.
That’s where the souring mating bond comes in. Matt’s mate isn’t me. God, I wish it were. I would have been over the moon. I would be as happy as I am right now, only every single hour for every single day.
Unfortunately, his mate happens to be Nerissa. Yes, that pretty name belongs to my adopted sister. He planned on marrying Nerissa, I mean, she’s not biologically connected to my family, but they raised her as one of theirs, and his love for her was always so bright.
Sadly, on a trip she insisted I take with her, we got into an accident. I walked off with minor injuries and Nerissa.... well, Nerissa is dead. It aches my heart, mostly because everyone blames me for it. I can’t even explain what caused the accident. Her body was never found, but it was clear from the damage that there was no way she would have survived.
So Matthias had to settle for me. And although my wolf feels a strong bond to him, he doesn’t feel the same.
It’s rare for someone to be mated to an already fated person, but my life has proven that the impossible can happen.
Well, that will change soon. He’s sure to love me when he finds out we’re going to be parents.
I was lost in my thoughts when the bathroom opened. I turned my head around to see Matthias in all his gorgeous glory stepping out. He had a towel around his waist, water trickling down his gorgeous skin. His black hair stuck to the corners of his face. My eyes drifted to his abs, signs of a well-hardened alpha.
Matt frowned, eyeing me with disdain. “Why are you still here?”
My fog of lust and happiness fizzled out. I sat up immediately, tossing the covers off and reaching for the night gown.
“I’m so sorry. I was just leaving,” I told myself, not to sound so frightened. We’ve been together for three years, and I was never allowed to sleep in his bed. I’ve got my own room. On the first floor, far away from his.
I had just tugged my gown on when his strong hand grabbed onto my wrist.
“Why on earth are you wearing pink?” He cocked up one eyebrow. That was a telling sign that I’d crossed a line.
My heart pounded hard in my chest. “Don’t you like it? I remember you saying you liked silk, and brightly colored-”
His eyes got darker. “It’s disgusting on you. When I said that, I was referring to Nerissa. I love silk on her. I love pink on her. It’s her favorite color, and you have the nerve-” He ground his teeth, squeezing down on my wrist.
I bit back a scream. “I’m sorry. I didn’t-”
Before I could complete my words, he tore the fabric off my skin, sending chills and cold air whipping up my spine. I attempted to cover myself with one hand, telling myself not to cry.
“It’s bad enough that you took her from me. Now you’re wearing her favorite color?” He growled, and I tried to beg. “You need to be punished.”
Hearing him bring up the word ‘punished’, my heart sank to my stomach. The tears I’d been fighting away broke free. Pouring down my face. “No, no, please. I’m begging. I’m begging you, I didn’t know. I’ll never wear pink again. I’ll never wear silk again.” I tried. I tried everything to explain, but Matthias had that look that I was used to. The look that said he was thinking of Nerissa and the sight of me made him sick.“You never learn. I have to tell you this over and over. You will never be her. You can never be, Nerissa. She was amazing. I would have sold your soul in place of hers.”“I’m sorry.”“You’re always sorry! Always fucking sorry. Go to the study, and kneel there. This time I’m giving you twelve hours to learn your lesson.”I froze. That was the longest time he’d ever given me. Twelve hours? Oh my god. I’ve done it right for months, trying to avoid being punished. The last time I was there for eight hours and I nearly starved to death. I ended up passing out due to dehy
:Flashback- Three Years Ago:When Nerissa asked me to accompany her on a trip, I said no. About ten to twenty times, but I eventually caved in when she said she wanted to make up for every bad blood between us. Honestly, the two-day trip had been kind of nice. But on our way back, something happened. I was driving. I’m not sure how the accident happened.But I know it happened, and I was found with only minor injuries. Nerissa though? The car had been too wrecked, and with no other sign of her... well, she was pronounced dead. My parents had been sad, but initially, they were alright and slightly glad that I was okay. The next night, though, that was when I realized what my place was. Despite being their biological daughter, Nerissa is the one they truly love.That night, the house was too quiet. The kind of quiet that made my skin crawl, that made my stomach twist in a way I couldn't explain. I didn’t know then that silence could be a warning. I didn’t know that by morning, nothing
:End Of Flashback:I still remember that night. How my own father had treated me over a piece of paper. They took Nerissa’s word as gold. They hadn’t listened to me. My own father said the rogues who took me as a child should have killed me, that he shouldn’t have rescued me. What a man, huh? He’d left me out in the cold to die, to suffer. Someone had saved me, though. I’m not sure who. I only remember seeing sharp golden eyes. The only person I know with those eyes is Matthias. He saved me. Perhaps he thought I was someone else. But in that moment, I saw him as my savior - and I gave him my heart without a second thought.He carried me all the way home and set me down at the doorstep. As I walked my healed body back into what was no longer considered my home, my father barely looked at me. Did he apologize? No. Did he ask how I was okay? Not even once. He made a statement that night, and now we don’t speak. I send them money whenever they text me, but I don’t say a word to them.Th
Turns out I was right to worry. Getting a divorce form is not easy. I went online to search, and the only way to get the council to send a form was to contact one of their messengers. Which seems easy, but the messengers don’t bother with divorce forms. They know it’s a tireless thing, and getting one to reply is difficult. I’d need to know someone who can talk to one for me. Normally, getting a divorce shouldn’t be hard. For humans, that is. As for us wolves, the council decides whether or not you get separated. You’d need to convince them. I think they make the whole process tiring, so you don’t go through with it. Sighing, I zipped up my dress. Matthias’s mother should know someone. I’ll contact her after tonight. I won’t tell her it’s for a divorce, she might not agree to call her contact. The weird thing is, his parents love me. They actually love me. They think I’m wonderful and just the right person for their son. If only he felt the same. I can’t ponder what he feels anym
I’m not sure why I came to this stupid event. I wasn’t obligated to do so. I was simply bored. Dealing with my pack, the council, a lot of travel, and so much more. Nothing that doesn’t feel like a routine. Coming to this should be a good distraction. That’s what I thought initially.But being the only council member at this event means everyone is coming up to me to pass on greetings. Hoping I’d notice them. I’m like a wealthy man in a pool of poor people.As rude as that analogy is, it’s the best description I have.I checked the time on my watch, only five minutes. I can’t leave anytime soon. I’ve got a duty.When a couple approaches me, I bite back my sigh as I feel the dread.“Alpha Cassiel Aldric, I’m glad you could make it.” I turned slowly to face them. My eyes and wolf don’t even register the male. My gaze is immediately drawn to the girl. Beautiful, full golden brown hair, pink l1ps, fair skin, and a gorgeous set of amber eyes.Eyes that scan over my face with interest but w
The breeze from the balcony brushes against my skin, cool and calming, like nature’s attempt to soothe my fraying nerves. I exhale softly, trying to settle the whirlwind of emotion stirring in my chest. But I can feel Alpha Cassiel's eyes on me—sharp, golden, curious. The man is... utterly enthralling. Not just handsome in the traditional sense, but arresting. Magnetic. The kind of presence that makes a room pause. His scent reaches me, subtle yet intoxicating, and it raises goosebumps along my arms.He hadn’t batted an eye when I declined alcohol earlier. No judgment, no probing questions. Just a nod and a quiet order to have a mocktail made instead. That small gesture had said more than words could.Being out here, away from the party and its clinking glasses, forced laughter, and lingering tension, should’ve made me feel better. But instead, it made the anxiety louder in my head. Every quiet second was another second for my doubts to scream.Can I really do this?Being a pregnant r
I found Matthias’s mother lingering far from the crowd with her husband. They seemed to be in their own world. Matt’s parents are the nicest people in my life right now. They make jokes with me, not at me. Ask how I’m doing. Invite me to family dinner. They’ve made these three years not entirely horrible.They like me, which is a nice change from all the evil and hate in my life. I let a breathe come out as i approached them. Trying not to feel even worse than i already do. I think morning sickness is finally catching up to me. Which is... i curse internally. I need to set up doctor’s apppointments.I’m really bad at this. Handling everything by myself.The moment Meriam Crowe spots me. Her loving smile that she had been giving to her husband turns into a smile of adoration as she sees me. Her arms come out, and i feel relaxed immediately.“My beautiful daughter in law.” the moment I’m close enough she hugs me. “How are you?”I breathed in her scent. The scent of the mother i wished i
Cassiel Aldric is as cold as everyone says he is. He hummed his way through our entire conversation, but he did agree to be the one to evaluate my pack in a week. I have another chance to impress him. The man is so difficult to please. The youngest in the council, and apparently cocky as hell. He did however, ask me about Aurielle when we came back out. I found my father alone, and he told us Auri went home with my mother. Of course she would do this. Of course she would embarrass me. Not even staying to say goodbye to a freaking council member. What was so serious that she had to leave? I think that shined a bad light on me, because Alpha Aldric left shortly after hearing that. I was furious. I’d thrown this full moon event and not only did my reason for doing this, leave before the main fun could happen. And my supposed wife left as well. I don’t know why i let my parents convince me to marry nerissa’s murderer. My mate, my love. The woman i would give my life up for, killed in
My father protested. “Why? Is she not meeting your needs? I know it’s strange for a luna to not have a child after three years of marriage, but surely she’ll have one soon.”Firstly, damn that man to hell. How am I supposed to have a child when Matthias uses condoms, and the one time he doesn’t, I end up being branded a liar for ending up pregnant. How is this my fault? They all expect too much from me. I ignored my parents and stood. “Are you being honest? You signed those papers?”He nodded, taking bites of his steak. He cut another piece but stopped, looking up at me. “You don’t deserve the title of luna. You don’t deserve to be called Aurielle Crowe. You’re worth less than the dirt on the ground.”He was being cruel on purpose. There was no need to say something like that. There was no need to undermine me. Does he have any clue what I’ve done for him? Putting my life on hold for three years, he doesn’t even know the payment plans for any of his servants, he doesn’t know who fixe
My lunch with Cassiel had been helpful and also painful. He’d consoled me while I bawled my eyes out like some baby. I blame my ever-growing hormones. My omega was just as upset as I was. Being in Cassiel’s warm hug had helped me relax a little, he made sure I was okay before letting go. And he insisted I eat the food I'd ordered. Even made sure I ate some dessert and held my hair over the ice bucket when my stomach reacted to it. He rubbed my back and held my hair, then walked me to the bathroom after. It was humiliating, or it should have been. But Cassiel Aldric is an amazing friend. He didn’t complain, he just wanted me to be okay. I felt overwhelmed by that. Now, in a cab back home, chewing on some mint gum, I wondered how my life had gotten to this point. I agree with my father on some level. Those kidnappers should have killed me. Cruel to say, but I felt like death would have been easier than being alienated in two homes, all because of one girl. I’m exhausted and all I
I took a cab to the restaurant thirty minutes before Cassiel was supposed to arrive. I was shocked to find him already there. He looked out of place, his hair was slicked back in a neat and classy way. His golden eyes moved around the restaurant as though searching for someone. He looked like he’d come straight from the council. He wore a button-up white shirt, which he’d rolled the sleeves, and placed his long coat jacket on the chair next to him. I was stunned for a moment until his gaze landed on mine. He beckoned me over, and I nervously went. “Alpha Cassiel... um-” the restaurant was empty. Come to think of it, I didn’t even give the lady at the reception my name. She had just motioned for me to go in. “Relax, I didn’t want the nosy people carrying my face all over the papers. So I rented out the entire restaurant for the next two hours.”That is a rough sentence to process. He did what? For how long? How much money does he have?He pushed his seat back, walking over to me. C
I arrived at my grandmother’s soon enough. She lives on the edge of town to preserve her peace, she’s not really a fan of people. But my father has her house filled with more than enough staff to care for her. I would have gotten here quicker had I not stopped to grab the divorce papers. The phone call with my mother was an eye opener. My parents love aurielle. They were not upset when Nerissa died. In fact, I think my mother was a bit happy. Not because my mate died, but because I wouldn’t have to marry her. And here she is, planning, plotting for ways I can keep Aurielle stuck in a marriage with me. Why would I want that?And it really dawned on me that I’m fighting against a divorce when I should be jumping. I don’t know what to do. If this was a pack problem, I could answer this in seconds flat. But in my own marriage....The last time I let my parents decide was after aurielle died and my mother decided I needed a luna for pack reasons. I didn’t want her, I didn't want to marry
Watching Aurielle leave left me feeling strange. She made some good points, even though I would never admit it to her smug, manipulative face. Why am I contesting this? She’s going to file for a summons. Which means I’d be forced to stand before the council as Aurielle ruins my name.I can imagine how the alphas there would look at me. It would be humiliating. I must have called her parents yesterday after she left the office. I took the divorce papers out of the bin, they’re in my office drawers. I should sign them and be done with her, right?Even though I think I can win that summons. I can tell them all the lies she’s told me over the years. Even the one about Nerissa being alive. That lie had hurt me the most. She was more conniving than anyone knew. I need some advice. I need someone I can trust who can weigh in with their honest opinions on what I should do. I sighed and went back to my room to change. One person came to mind. I know her advice will shine some light on my t
The next morning, I went for a walk before the sun came up. I wanted to see it rise. I don’t remember the last time I watched a scene so beautiful. It was like I was reclaiming my life once again. The sunrise was beautiful, and the stunning glow from the bench in a nearby park kept me calm and prepared me for the day ahead. It was still cold, but seeing the sun was nice. And this time I work on something thick so I won’t freeze. After that sight, I made my way back to the house just in time for Matthias to wake up. I couldn’t look at him, knowing that he knew I was in love with him and still treated me poorly, and that Lena was a stupid replica of my sister.Did he even realize how similar they looked? Was he detached in some part of his brain?I should scream at him for getting wasted and having his beta bring him back to our home. He wouldn’t do this to Nerissa. Then again, I’m not Nerissa. I sighed and went to my room to take a bath while Matthias nursed his hangover in the livi
“He drank quite a lot. Something was clearly on his mind.” Lena said, trying not to be too obvious with her pointed statement. I was the reason he drank?He should be embarrassed. I walked forward, and she gripped his shoulders. Keeping him close to her. “I can take him inside. You don't have to-”“Look, Lena is it? Is he your husband?” I asked her. Making sure my tone was clear.“No, but-”“But nothing. Thank you for bringing him back but please get out of my house.” I closed the space between us and grabbed her Matthias. He laughs, “Aurielle~ baby.” I rolled my eyes. He's a sweetheart when he's drunk, super drunk. If he's close enough to think, he'll stir up drama.He wrapped me in a hug and tried to kiss me. For Lena's sake, I let him. And he sighed, giving me a full breath of alcohol. My hormones did not like that. “You're not mad anymore.” He says, tightening his grip. I pushed my face out of his chest to wave Lena off. Her expression was deadly. She clearly wasn't pleased. I
I busied myself with my doctor's appointment. I learned that I needed to eat certain things, reduce my stress, and exercise more to keep my body healthy for the baby. The doctor said my blood pressure rose higher than it was yesterday. Which is insane. Twenty-four hours and I'm a mad woman. I avoided answering any of her questions about announcing my pregnancy. When a Luna is pregnant it's a huge deal for the pack. She'll be birthing the next leader. But since I'm aiming for a divorce, I don't want everyone to know about this. Especially not my parents. They're not good people to me. I don't want their influence in my child's life. They'll find out like everyone else when I leave this place.The rest of the day was uneventful. I made more notes of what I needed and filled out the summons. By dinner time, which was 8 p.m. for me, I got a phone call from Alpha Cassiel, which surprised me. He doesn't usually call. What is usual for us? Just a text. We're kind of friends. I answere
Two days went by faster than I expected. Matthias was scarce around the house, which bothered me. No, scarce is the wrong word. He’s been absent—gone before I woke up and back home while I was asleep. But today’s the third day, and I need to see if he’s signed those papers. I have a doctor’s appointment and some exercise to do. Weirdly, though, I’ve been in contact with Alpha Cassiel. He texted me the night after I got the papers asking if I got home safely, which was nice. We texted back and forth. Mostly at night because he’s busy during the day. How do I know that? He told me. Explained that running a pack and being a council member means he sleeps less and travels a lot. He seems like a really open and honest man. Our conversations are short, but each one has been very nice. That’s beside the point. I walked through the hall, searching for Matthias. I knocked on his study room as one of the maids came by. She gently grabbed my arm.“He's out. At work, I think.”I thanked us, an